When: Thursday, September 3rd, 2020
Where: Brookland/CUA (Red Line)
Hares: Ginger Snatch & 21 Gum Salute
Virgins: Just Spencer
On-After: None, because COVID
Jesus CHRIST, did ANYONE put any effort into this fucking trail? GOD what a WORTHLESS bunch! Today we hashed and put the least amount of effort possible into making it happen. UGH! Who the FUCK cares, the world is ending and we can’t be arsed to bother trying to stop it.
Hell, we were SO done with this trail before it even started that we cut it in half. Because we fucking could, no other reason.
We are violating the RA SchroCo for all this shitty weather! This fucker half-assed his Religious Advisor job so hard he didn’t even bother to do the traditional Good Weather Dance before trail!
The GMs were violated for canceling beer check! “Oh there’s too much lightning, someone might actually die” blah blah blah… Come the fuck on, this is the hash, you know our rules: Safety Third, Beer First!!
The Hares were violated for their bullshittery. Did you see how short trail was? What a half-assed trail! Not only did these fuckers cut it in half, that was by far the WORST trail marking I’ve ever seen! “Oh boo hoo, my chalk marks cant withstand flash floods! Waaah!” Just so everyone knows, I prefer my trails just like how I prefer performing cunnilingus: way less interaction with the hare!
Speaking of cunnilingus… Gingersnatch, had red chalk dust all over his face. It looks like you went down a girl with heavy flow before trail. Good on ya, I guess.
Speaking of heavy flow… Poon-apple Juice must have gotten SOOOOOO turned on on trail that she had to squeeze out her shorts because of her wet ass pussy!
Speaking of wet ass… we have to violate The Hares again for laying trail through Catholic University and not giving us an altar boy check. I guess we’re making up for that by violating the Virgin!
Just Spencer is being violated for completely half-assing trail. He was CONSTANTLY at the end of the pack hanging with the sweeper, Just Kirsten. If I didn’t know any better I’d say he was hitting on her!
AWARD: The Close Encounters of the Turd Kind Award for the FRB who fucks up and leads half the pack astray goes to… Roll Over Bitch!, 9021Ho, and Edward Sissy Hands!
And finally, we violated The Scribe! This fucken jabroni half-asses it EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK.
On-I can’t be bothered to write this goddamn trash until 7 months later, so I back posted it to the date of the trail-On
Close Encounters of the Turd Kind