When: Thursday, October 29th, 2020

Where: NoMa/Gallaudet (Red Line)

Hares: GeriatricMandering & Colliteral Damage

Long-Time No See Ums: None

Virgins: Just Molly

On-After: None, because COVID

Spoooooky times are afoot! Is plague doctor an appropriate costume this year? Because there were definitely three of them on trail tonight! I’m here to tell you all once again about the stupid shit you did on trail.

Just Jon took the longest piss of his life on trail. When he was asked to describe in more detail, he said it was as if someone came inside of him and was peeing for him. Buddy… I’m pretty sure you just got buttfucked by a ghost.

Chicks Ahoy somehow got the hash confused with Mario Kart or Looney Tunes. This is a HASH, how did you slip on a banana peel in real life?? Chicks Ahoy was dressed as a cat, but brought her dog with her. Fun fact: her dog is blind, but even HE could see how horrifically mismatched her bullshit is!

The Cumburglar legitimately thought that the nosewire of disposable masks was an underwire. He’s been wearing his masks upside down for SEVEN MONTHS! On the other hands, this is the second weirdest “I definitely have sex” flex I’ve ever heard, right next to Ben Shapiro talking about his wife.

Just Molly was commended for already being on our level, even as a virgin. At a check, she noted that one of the options was downhill and said “yep, that’s all I care about!”

Maybe It’s Gaybelline was cummended for showing more moose knuckle than me!

NAMING

We had a NAMING for the first time in months! Just Jon has been hashing with us for about 7 months, so he was long overdue for a naming. We learned a lot about Just Jon:

  • He’s from Newcastle, UK, but spent most of his life further north and considers himself Scottish
  • He once masturbated in a shower in Ghana that he thought had one-way glass. It didn’t. A grandmother watched him.
  • The last time he shit himself was when he was in Kenya. He ended up in the hospital for two weeks because of the raw meat he ate that let to that shit.
  • He has sex. Like… ALL the sex. Holy shit this guy fucks around the world. He got a blowjob from a random swinger in a bar with his partner sitting next to him. He took Around the World in 80 Lays out for a sex weekend in California on their first date.
  • The strangest thing he’s ever put in his foreskin is whipped cream. His college girlfriend wanted to see how much it could hold before she sucked him off.

We would like to welcome to Everyday is Wednesday Hash House Harriers…

Bonedage, James Bonedage!

On-Now I wish I had foreskin to hide stuff in-On

Close Encounters of the Turd Kind