When: Thursday November 5, 2020
Where: Rhode Island Avenue Metro
Hares: Ginger Snatch, Papal Smear

Welcum Welcum Welcum to the

Strange Ground Chuck

Guide to Birthday Celebrations

This catch-all guide will help you celebrate all your big days, from 22 to 99 and beyond.

Step 1: Drink. A lot.

Step 2: Eat a balanced breakfast. Son What the Fuck?! decided to stick to her vegetarian diet, despite a craving for some meat in her mouth. Just Pheobe, however, was seen eating a rat.

Step 3: Keep drinking. Like, until you don’t know where you are. When Gingersnatch called him up earlier and explained the trail, he asked “Any questions?” Strange Ground Chuck said, “Yeah, just one. Where am I?”

Step 4: Go on an adventure! Strange Ground Chuck got lost in the last quarter mile of walkers trail taking a pee break. Gotta love that enlarged prostate.

Step 5: Embrace your confidence. Close Encounters of the Turd Kind confidently yelled the wrong instructions at virgins, much like in his everyday life except more… confident.

Step 6: Try something new. Just Stephanie had her first Miller Lite.

Step 7: Don’t go home alone. General Tso’s Dickens had her eyes on a special type of man, Eugene Levy. Eyebrows for days.

Step 8: Any guesses? That’s right.. drink.

No justs to name, no on-after to debauch, until next birthday..

On – Is that a present in your pocket? – On
Poon-apple Juice (h/t Close Encounters of the Turd Kind)