When: Thursday, December 3rd, 2020
Where: Columbia Heights (Green/Yellow Line)
Hares: Skooter Kunte & Special Red
On-After: None, because COVID
HOLY SHIT EVERYDAY IS WEDNESDAY HASH HOUSE HARRIERS IS 21 YEARS OLD! Our hash is old enough to drink beer with us on trails now! Our hash is so old Jeffrey Epstein wants nothing to do with it!
Unfortunately, due to COVID-19 restrictions, we couldn’t have nearly as large of a pack as we wanted. Our subdued pack of 22 was as rambunctious as we could be to make up for it.
Despite the solemn occasion, our pack still managed to do some stupid shit, as we have always done for TWENTY ONE YEARS WHOOOOOOOO!!
All the ladies were violated. There were multiple tit checks on runners’ trail tonight, but not a SINGLE lady was running. I came here for a birthday party, not another sausage festival!
Not to be outdone, the Runners were violated because they spent most of the second half of trail chasing tail! Yes, they spent the majority of the second half chasing an actual hare, for no fucking reason. This hare didn’t even have pants to take off!
Just Stephanie was violated for letting walkers get a sample of her tasty treats. She claimed there wasn’t enough to go around, but if there’s one things hashers know, it’s that sharing is caring, and that there’s ALWAYS enough to go around for everyone. ESPECIALLY our STIs.
Rail Mary is being violated for forgetting her fake ID and being late to this hashy birthday trail. She had to go around back and meet us in the alley but got lost along the way because she, like most underage kids, pre-gamed too hard and was already hungover.
Cum Dumpling was violated for breaking CDC’s recommended COVID protocols and performing analingus on trail. Come on Cum Dumpling, you just use a little bit of tongue, you’re not supposed to eat shit as hard as you did!
On-HASHY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!-On
Close Encounters of the Turd Kind