When: Thursday, February 25th, 2021

Where: McPherson Square (Blue/Orange/Silver Line)

Hares: Little Spermaid & Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack

On-After: None, because COVID

L’chaim! Welcome to a trail based on yet another Jewish holiday I’ve never heard of! It was a lovely trail, full of costumes and beer. Little Spermaid regaled us with biblical stories of Purims past. Days of feasting, merriment, parades, costumes, and lots of spite for those who conspire to murder Jews. Basically an ANTIFA rally!

I’m kind of embarrassed actually, I should know more about Purim since I’m a quarter Jewish… specifically, the circumcised part.

eww - Reaction GIFs
Turd, this is like the third time you’ve let us know you’re circumcised, please top.

Speaking of circumsized dick… let’s get to violations from trail! Skooter Kunte and 23 in Me are being violated for discussing how they wished cum tasted like vanilla creamer so they could put it in their coffee on a lazy Sunday morning.

Maybe Its Gaybelline was overheard at beer check talking about wanting to get a Cleveland Steamer on his nipple. Bro, I know you already have a Dirty Sanchez, you don’t have to BE one. Also, we need to discuss the logistics of how someone shits on JUST your nipple. How big is your poop? Like… is your poop duck pellet sized? You realize human turds are way bigger than your nipples, right? I’m an expert in this area, human shit is bigger than duck shit.

Facepalm GIFs | Tenor
Turd, your professional analysis is unnecessary, please stop.

Speaking of ducks… SchroCo is being violated for chasing after four ducks for a picture instead of taking a picture of the 40 ducks chilling behind him. Just like SchroCo, always chasing the wrong tail.

We all know people pee on trail, and that’s ok. But Just Arlie is being violated for doing it ON the trail, less than 6 feet away from other hashers, while NOT WEARING A MASK! (But she’s still a good girl!)

Ready Player None was overheard on trail talking about how trashed he was on Tuesday and that he’d never go that hard again on a Tuesday ever. Come on RPN, I know that S.H.I.T. trails suck but you don’t have to disrespect other kennels like that!

Edward Sissy Hands is moving to Boston next week. It’s good he was dressed as sexy as he could be, because he’s already hotter than 80% of the women in Boston.

Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack, we heard you were a good sweeper tonight. Too bad you wife doesn’t think you’re a good sweeper at home!

On-We get Christmas off from work, why not Purim, dammit!?-On

Close Encounters of the Turd Kind