When: Thursday April 8. 2021
Where: Eastern Market
Hares: Moose Knuckle, More Men, Mouthful of Clam
Virgins: Just Noah, Just Cat, Just Anna
It’s national sundress day! Why do we love sundresses so much?
- The aesthetics. All those flowers and stripes and bright colors really make your eyes pop, boo.
- The airflow. Have you ever felt a gentle breeze on your netherbits on mile three? Nirvana.
- The pee-ase. That’s the ease of peeing. Gone is the need to Twister your way away from the stream. Just squat and go.
- The gun show. Sundresses are made to show off those arms, and those legs. Whatever your weapon of choice, a sundress will help you brandish it.
- The comfort. No camel toe, no moose knuckle (present company excluded, of course).
- The pockets. Sundresses are… wait. There’s no pockets?
Fuck it, I’m getting a beer. While I’m gone, enjoy some…
Ready Player None was cosplaying as 21 Gum Salute.
Atari 6900 and The Cumburglar were cosplaying as Boogaloo boys.
Just Davina was a little tease, bouncing between two pumps.
Just Harper was gettin’ some bitches.
Maybe It’s Gaybelline violated DC’s open carry laws.
Our solemn occasion twarted by nearby Marines, we dispersed. Most of us to Midlands…
On – Sky’s out, thighs out – On
Poon-apple Juice (h/t Close Encounters of the Turd Kind)