EWH3 Hash Trash #1233: The Fantasy Island Trail!
When: Thursday, April 22nd, 2021
Where: Stadium Armory (Orange/Blue/Silver Line)
Hares: Around the World in 80 Lays, Bondage, James Bondage, & Honey Bunches of Cunt
Virgins: Just Harry
Visitors: …And Throbbin, Batman
On-After: None, because COVID
Welcome to FANTASY ISLAND! A TV show that ran from 1977-1984, and literally the only thing I know about it is a dwarf yelling “DE PLANE BOSS, DE PLANE” because my dad always said that, without any context for my young brain.
Despite this being an island-themed trail, it was cold as BALLS out. Runners definitely got some cold winds running over bridges, looking rather strange in their Hawaiian shirts next to muggles in winter coats. And as always, hashers did other stupid things on trail that required extreme violations.
The Hares were violated because they already laid this trail earlier this year. That means they are giving us sloppy seconds. (In their defense, the runners bailed on that trail because it was also too damn cold, so really, runners just finally got to score on this trail…)
23 in Me got lost coming down a slide in a park. How do you get lost going down a slide? I guess it’s not as bad when Bitches Give Stitches got lost sliding into her DMs. Although that’s still less pathetic as when I got lost in her eyes…
9021Ho went way out of character on the first half. He was seen not wearing his signature P-Coat. At least he and GPS are still rocking their signature short shorts!
Walkers spotted a beaver on trail. Look, we have laid our fair share of beaver checks on trail, AND we’ve laid our fair share of beavers on trail (hiyoooo!), but this was the first time we’ve seen a real beaver on trail.
Mouthful of Clam and Just Eviva were violated for tying up Quid Pro Blow on trail. Even though he’s down for getting tied up and strapped on, he wanted to wait until after circle. Which reminds me, CONSENT IS EVERYTHING!
Despite the cold, we also had a Naming for Just Rachel! We learned a lot about Just Rachel…
- She’s an accountant who went to SUNY with The Cumburglar and currently lives with him.
- She’s not allowed to date anyone named Brian anymore. One of them had been dating her for months before she found out he had another girlfriend. Another one gave her the clap.
- She would definitely fuck Ryan Reynolds.
- She was in a foursome that got interrupted by someone’s dad looking for a coat. Later, the dad apologized for interrupting them.
- She has masturbated to Glee porn.
- She could take Ariel in a fight because that bitch doesn’t even have legs.
- Her ideal romantic partner is Sebastein Stan, with a metal arm.
- Her preferred mattress type is “waterproof.” We all know what that means.
And now we welcome to Everyday is Wednesday Hash House Harriers…
Burlington Ho Factory!
On-Wait, is my dad a height supremacist?-On
Close Encounters of the Turd Kind