EWH3 #1243: The Founding Fathers/Daddy Issues/The Return of SCROTAL RECALL Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, July 1 – Crystal City (Blue/Yellow)

As the CDC and DC Health continues to update and revise guidelines, Mismanagement is working to determine how the hash fits into these recommendations. We feel it is as important as ever that we are vigilant and maintain best practices to reduce the spread of COVID-19 within our community.

For this reason, masks are optional for fully vaccinated individuals. Vessels are required. Please take a moment to review Everyday is Wednesday’s COVID-19 guide. Information on vaccines in DC can be found here.


New Announcements This Week!

Guess who’s back, back again? SCROTAL RECALL
will be making their much anticipated return this week! That means that we will once again have a bag van to carry your precious cargo so you don’t have to. While there will be no access to bags during trail (including at beer check), we will provide a mug bin for easy access to your (required) vessel. Be sure to arrive early to place items into the van and to check-in with Hash Cash.

Rego Cap has been lifted!
Thanks to the hard work of our Mismanagement and the guidance of DC Health, we are able to remove the limits on our pack size. However, registration and pre-payment on HashRego is still required for now. This step allows us to collect vital contact tracing information and ensure that our Brew Crew is fully prepared to serve you delicious snacks and beverages. If you have any questions about these changes, email the GMs at ewh3gms@gmail.com.

We appreciate all of your cooperation as we make these exciting transitions back to “normal”!


As America gets ready to celebrate the 245th birthday of the United States, we hashers gather to celebrate the Founding Fathers for giving birth to this great nation! AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!

Look at the DIVERSITY of white dudes represented here!

Look around at all the great things that make this country GREAT! Things like… Freedom of speech! Fuck yeah! Freedom of assembly! Fuck yeah! A right to a fair trial! Fuck yeah! No taxation without representation! Well, kinda. Income inequality! Hol’up. Police brutality! What? A war on drugs instead of a war on poverty! Wait… Nearly unlimited access to firearms! Huh? Loopholes in the 13th amendment that legally allow slavery! Oh… oh no… it looks like we still have a LOT of unresolved daddy issues with our Founding Fathers that we need to work out!

The kind of daddy issues that make eagles cry!

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! After a long hiatus due to the pandemic, some battery issues, and some cleaning, we are ready to bring back the true workhorse of the hash…


You know you missed those blue truck nuts…

This means we OFFICIALLY have a BEER VAN! We have a BAG VAN! We have storage for MUGS! We have a safe place to store HAB for you to buy! And we do not have a mask requirement since virtually 100% of you degenerates are vaccinated, which means…


Some come out on July 1st and celebrate the EWH3 revival along with those daddy issues!

You MUST sign up on HashRego to attend Thursday’s trail.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, July 1, 2021. Pack away at 7:15 PM!

Where: Crystal City Metro

D’erections: From the metro exit, turn left and head south on Bell St. for less than one block to a park on the left/east side of the street.

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Crystal Dr & 20th St S, Arlington, VA 22202

Hares: Close Encounters of the Turd Kind, Lickthyologist, Special Head Kid, and a mystery hare!

Trail Details:

Runners: 2.1 mi. first half / 2.1 second half
– Shiggy level 3, not particularly dog friendly because of stairs

Walkers: 0.8 mi. first half / 1.1 second half
– Shiggy level 1, dog-friendly, stroller friendly (some stairs/escalators)

Miscellaneous Crap:
Trail is A to A’ (.7mi). Bring your vessel and headlamp. Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! It should be a nice night. Be smart and have fun.

Last Transportation:

– Metro closes at 11. Check your apps.

Give Back to the Hash!

  • ADOPT A METRO! We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential spots for Beverage Checks and On-Ins. Do a good job and your next trail is free! Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com for details
  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Email the Brewmeister at ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to earn the noble badge of Brew Crew! Open dates cumming up!
  • HARES! Ready to get your hands dirty and lay your own shitty trail? The Harerazor can match you with a trail that needs extra hands or can help you plan your own! Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com. Now allowing trails the ‘DC Diamond’ (aka Arlington County).
  • COVID INFO (Help keep your kennel and community safe!)
  1. DC is now offering walk-up COVID-19 vaccines! Visit https://coronavirus.dc.gov/vaccinatedc for more information.
  2. DC has a free COVID-19 exposure tracking app! Visit the DC CAN page for more information on how to activate the DC CAN system on your mobile device.
  3. As we navigate hashing during this time, please take a moment to review Everyday is Wednesday’s updated COVID-19 guide here.
  4. Check DC’s COVID-19 website for informative, local, specific information.
  5. For information about where to get tested check the DC testing page. If you test positive for COVID-19, please provide the following information to contact tracers and contact the GMs immediately: Sasha – ‪(202) 813-0689

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!