SorreyNotSorrey for this Sparkly Hash Trash #1247

When: Thursday, July 22, 2021 The Robin Sparkles Hash Trash #1247

Where: Smithsonian Metro (Orange/Blue/Silver) 

Visitors: All Abscess Pass

Virgins: None that I took note of

Hares: Mouthful of Clam, Ready Player None, and Blow Me Closer Tiny Dancer


Did ya’ll see that scooter collision at the opening circle? Whew! For once, some calamity happened on trail that couldn’t be pinned on me! Lol! (All jokes aside- low key h/t to He*d Injury for having some bandages and alcohol wipes in his pack so we could rush over and help them!)

Ontari-oh..Oh! OH! My goodness wasn’t that trail superb though? Our very own Hare Razor, Mouthful of Clam restored some gosh darn great kindness and civility to the hash with this trail. It was just so gosh darn beautiful, eh? 

Letterkenny GIF by memecandy

Somewhat related to kindness and civility, we had to violate (or Cummend?) one of our long-time-no-seeer, Goldman Ballsack! He was accused of planting an ice cream truck on trail and literally creamed half the pack. 

Lickthiologist caught a whiff of Tiny Dancer’s drink at said ice truck stop and was like… does that have alcohol in it? No, we’re just accustomed to oranges and mangos coupled with rum… like mother truckin’ pavlov’s dogs or something… 

Drunk Happy Hour GIF by Kevin Hart's Laugh Out Loud

Speaking of furry animals on trail…The hares were called out for planting not  SINGLE beaver check! I wasn’t mad. Just disappointed. 

Knocked Up and Just Graciela were violated for discussions about a group discount… group discount to what? You waxer? J/k it was a marathon group. Eww. Yuck. Gross. 

Speaking of r*ceists…we nabbed Just Nick for r*cist attire on trail. I later found out he was just reppin for his school but whatevs. Looked pretty racey to me!

run running GIF

Our visiting San Diego hasher (All Abscess Pass) received a major cumendation for giving #SquadHoles a pep talk about married life… apparently you can buy wedding rings in packs now… you know… to go with your various outfits?  “But the ones that are like, *this big* (Gestures by making an ‘O’ ring with hands) … are NOT for your ring finger. Lol. Good times!

Aaaaaannnnnd with that, SKOOTER OUT!

Scooter Raccoon GIF

Back to your regularly scheduled program… THIS WEEK’S TRAIL! 

On-see you trash pandas soon-On,

s/Kooter Kunte