EWH3 #1252: The 11th Anal Jorts Association of Arlington Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, August 26th – Crystal City Metro (Blue/Yellow)

As the CDC and DC Health continue to update and revise guidelines, Mismanagement is working to determine how the hash fits into these recommendations. For this reason, masks are optional for fully vaccinated individuals. Vessels are still required for everyone.


Tour duh short-shorts, it’s the jorts trail!  Come on out in your favorite pair of jeans-cut-into-shorts, or jorts (everyone can tell if they’re just jean shorts- you’re not fooling anyone), and enjoy a Jorts trail through Arlington that ends exactly where you think it does, because there’s two parts to this theme trail: jorts and Freddies. In summary: JORTS.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO (link). No cash will be accepted at trail.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, August 26, 2021. Pack away at 7:15 PM!

Where: Crystal City Metro (Blue/Yellow), Follow marks

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Near Crystal City Metro

Hares: Roll Over, Bitch! You Can’t Handle the Poop! Heaven’s Gape! A mystery hare!!!

Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.8 mi. first half / 2.6 mi. second half
– Walkers: 1 mi. first half / 0.9 mi. second half
Shiggy Level: Pretty low. Do stairs count as shiggy?

Miscellaneous Crap:
 Trail is A to A’, jortswear encouraged, minimal shiggy and maybe even some A/C.  Skies out thighs out. Bring a headlamp, mug, and water bottle! Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Crystal City Metro:

– Franconia-Springfield                 12:25
– Largo Town Center (Blue)           11:47
– Huntington                                 12:05
– Mt Vernon                                  11:38

On After: Freddies!
Specials: KARAOKE! Please tip the VJ!!!

Upcoming Events!

  • Sept 2 – Anything But Clothes (ABC) trail, start crafting now!
  • Oct 7 – Mean Girls and/or Ballbuster Trail!
  • Oct 9 – DC Red Dress Run!

Give Back to the Hash!

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Email the Brewmeister at ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to earn the noble badge of Brew Crew! Open dates cumming up!
  • HARES! Ready to get your hands dirty and lay your own shitty trail? The Harerazor can match you with a trail that needs extra hands or can help you plan your own! Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com.
  • ADOPT A METRO! We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential spots for Beverage Checks and On-Ins. Do a good job and your next trail is free! Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com to talk about it.

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!