EWH3 #1270: The Revolutionary Resolutions Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, [Date] – Union Station (Red Line)

As the CDC and DC Health continue to update and revise guidelines, Mismanagement is working to determine how the hash fits into these recommendations. For this reason, masks are optional for fully vaccinated individuals. Vessels are still required for everyone. 

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It’s been a long year, so let’s gather for a short trail. 

Note: Due to the holiday, this is NOT a standard trail. Similar to Thanksgiving, you’ll be lucky to burn off a glass of champagne. You MUST bring your ID. Cash is highly recommended if you’d like a drink at beer check or to tip your bartenders. There will be NO bag van OR runners option (you can always run to start).

Bring your A-game as we celebrate the resolutions that have cum and gone. Didn’t meet yours? No worries, we’ll have plenty of opportunities to cash in before the new year. 

A guide to achieving some of the Top 50 New Year’s Resolutions:

– PR the hash – This walkers-route only trail is less than a mile long. A brisk power walk will help you meet this super attainable goal.

– Be more generous – Don’t be a Scrooge! Buy a shot for one of the hares at our pay-your-own beer check. 

– Support more local businesses – Thanks to the provided end-circle keg and dinner, you can over-tip your bar staff (the ones who really keep this city moving)!

– Volunteer more/Give back to the community – Everyday is Wednesday needs more martyrs like yourself. Sign up to hare or brew crew while you rego. 

– Lose weight – Oh, hush! You’re beautiful just the way you are!

– Quit smoking – We’ll be inside for most of this trail, so no smoking allowed!

– Save more money – Beer AND dinner are both included in the cost of your rego. Take that extra moolah and… buy a Bitcoin or something. 

– Be more outgoing – There will be plenty of opportunities for violations. Step out of your comfort zone and speak up!

– Unplug from social media – Hey, no tech on trail. 

– Stop Procrastinating – Rego right now!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO (link). 

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, December 20, 2021. Pack away at 7:15 PM!

Where: Union Station

Nearest Capital Bike Share: East side of Union Station

Hares: Poon-apple Juice, They Blow Up So Fast, Just Alex, Maybe A Mystery Hare!

Trail Details:
– Walkers Option ONLY: 0.35 mi. first half / 0.49 mi. second half

Shiggy Level: Zero. This is a glorified miniature pub crawl. 

Miscellaneous Crap:  Trail is A to A’ (0.6 miles to the metro) and is a non-traditional trail. Bring your ID, money for beer check, a mask for entering/exiting bars, and (just the) tip! Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be smart, have fun.


Schedule of Events:

7:00 – Circle Up at Union Station

7:15 – On Out!

7:30 – Choose-your-own-adventure Beer Check (ID required) – Bring an ID for this buy-your-own drink stop. Select from a variety of beverage options, including $4 Miller Lites and ciders!

8:30 – All Inclusive* End Circle – Hash favorite Hamilton’s is closed for the season, but they are opening JUST FOR US! We will provide beer and pizza (seltzer for the glutards**), as well as both indoor and heated outdoor space. The bartender is only working because we’ll be there, so be sure to tell them how awesome they are and tip well!

??? – They’ll probably kick us out at some point, but let’s party until they do!

* Limited options, while supplies last

** You MUST rego 24 hours before the event to guarantee you are included in the glutard count. Please be considerate and only select this option if you have a true gluten allergy.

Last trains out of Union Station (Red Line):
– Glenmont: 12:12 AM
– Shady Grove: 11:58 PM


On-After: Hamilton’s Bar & Grill with Hash-sponsored beer and pizza until the keg runs out. Note: The kitchen will be CLOSED! 

Upcoming Events!

  • AGM! January 22nd, 8PM, Kelley’s Irish Times. Rego is open!

Give Back to the Hash!  

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email [email protected] to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • HARES! Ready to help hare or make your own trail? Email [email protected]. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email [email protected]

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing [email protected]!