EWH3 #1289 – Been through Saratoga on a trail with no theme (UNION STATION)

When: Thursday, April 7, 2022
Where: Union Station (Red)
Visitors: None
Virgins: None
Hares: Pinocchi-Ho, Special Red, Quid Pro Blow, Split Her Bare, and someone else who I didn’t write down because I rely too heavily on trail announcements and I now regret that

Freaky Friday is a 2003 film, based on a 1976 film. But we’re here to talk about the one with Jamie Lee Curtis, because holy shit what a ride.

Angsty teen Lindsay Lohan has a mom who just “doesn’t get it.” Always harping on about her grades, her hair, and her band, this mama bear just needs to let her cub leave the den. After some Chinese magic (or some LSD laced fortune cookies), Lil Lo and JLC find themselves inside of each other.

Jamie Lee thinks being a high school girl will be a walk in the park, but is put in her place by a sexist teacher (aren’t they all?) who is still salty about not getting any at prom. She sabotages her daughter’s potential relationship and ruins another student’s life, or at least her GPA.

Meanwhile, Lohan (in the body of the elder, I’m so lost here) commits insurance fraud, embarrasses herself on national TV, and hits on a high school boy.

Back in the Chinese restaurant where it all began, the ladies share a toast and commit a few acts of self(less) love, swapping them back before a teenager is forced to consummate a marriage with her own step-father.

Later, Lil Dicky wrote a song about it. It’s way better than the movie.

Anyway, I think this was the inspiration for this trail, since no one knew who they were or what they were supposed to be doing.

Violations

Geriatric Mandering forgot she wasn’t GM anymore.

Just Nube thought she was a hare, leaving more marks than the actual hares.

Tuck Tuck Deuce extended his own duties to include walker hare, hearding cats through alleys.

Mouthful of Clam mistook himself for Oreho and showed up looking like a snack.

Ginja Ninja relived his virgin days, solving a Just check even though he was terrified.

Even Generals Farm Animal was more confused than normal, accidentally ending up on trail instead of at opening day.

This lack of theme also had your scribe confused as we dove into a round of…

Commendations?!?

Split Her Bare proved her commitment to the stick, reminding up that when things get slippery, you should go low and slow.

When faced with a lack of holes, Just Davina took matters into her own hands.

The WIE survivors showed Christ-like tendencies. For three days, everyone thought they were dead, but there they were… risen again.

And just like that, we found ourselves on the way back to Wundergarten, where we definitely didn’t make fools of ourselves.

On – Turn this bitch sideways – On

Poon-apple Juice