EWH3 TRASH #1295 – WHAT A SCHITTY TRAIL (GALLERY PLACE)
When: Thursday, May 19, 2022
Where: Gallery Place (Red/Green/Yellow)
Hares: Colliteral Damage, General Tso’s Dicken, Stain Gretzky, Mouthful of ClamVirgins: Just Christina
Visitors: Put It Black In Me
Schitt’s Creek is a heartwarming rags to riches story about a band of merry fellows who ascribe to the mantra of “dress for the life you want” and believe in the power of manifestation above all.
Haunted by a Blockbuster-sponsored past, the entire family unit is forced to move to a town almost as shitty as this trail. Along the way they learn about family, friendship, and feminism. This sneak peak into the lifestyles of the formerly-rich & the not-so-famous reminds us all to appreciate the things we have in life, like…
Our shoes: Special Red’s help him to be a smooth operator.
Our education: Bipolar Bear may not know what sound the letter “X” makes, but at least he also doesn’t know when to use one while laying trail.
Our beer: The Brew Crew kept us hydrated with a variety of ales, lagers, and everything in between.
The food on our plates: Close Encounters of the Turd Kind made sure we were all satisfied with his corny jokes.
Then, some things we’re less grateful for:
In true panda fashion, Tony Panda showed little interest in procreation.
Our beer bitch, Just Patrick, failed to provide a snail trail.
And a few in the pack wore wigs, showing that they had such little faith in our hares that they had to bring their own.
After wrapping up our circle sans-slugs, we were off to enjoy a cold Chinese food buffet and warm beer.
On – Ew – On