EWH3 #1312: The 12th Anal Jorts Association of Arlington Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, September 8th – Crystal City Metro (Blue/Yellow Line)

As the CDC and DC Health continue to update and revise guidelines, Mismanagement is working to determine how the hash fits into these recommendations. For this reason, masks are optional for fully vaccinated individuals. Vessels are still required for everyone. 

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It’s that time of year again, as the Jorts Association of Arlington celebrates another year of converting old jeans into the sexiest of garments. Get ready to strut off your cut-off!  Come on out in your favorite pair of jeans-cut-into-shorts, or jorts, and enjoy a totally-not-recycled Jorts trail through Arlington that ends exactly where you think it does…or does it? Good news: this Virginia trail is still Metro-accessible because the Yellow Line doesn’t shut down until this weekend.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO (link).

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, September 8, 2022. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Crystal City (Blue/Yellow), follow marks to the start 

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 18th & S Bell, like right at the Metro

Hares: Roll Over, Bitch!, Sexually Anxious Disease, Lickthyologist, and a Mystery Hare!

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.0 mi. first half / 2.0 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.1mi first half / 0.8 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69 


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’-ish (0.7 miles).  Wear jorts. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be smart, have fun. WEAR JORTS!
End Metro: Crystal City

Last Trains Out:

Greenbelt  (Yellow)                 11:37 PM

Franconia-Springfield (Blue)  12:24 AM

Huntington (Yellow)                12:08 AM

Largo Town Center (Blue)       11:46 PM

On After*: Freddies. If you plan to come to the On After, note that indoor venues may choose to keep vaccine and mask requirements in place. 

Specials: Karaoke, hopefully.

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Upcoming Events and Announcements!

  • Save the Date September 17th: EWH3 Hare and Brew Crew Party. Do you want free beer and food while getting some experience honing your hare and brew crew skills? Then save the date, more details to come VERY SOON!
  • D.C. Beer Mile: September 16th
  • D.C. Red Dress: October 8th
  • EWH3 is STILL in need of a NEW BREWMEISTER. If you are interested in being the BEER SUPERHERO we all need, please reach out to a member of mismanagement!
Apple Bottomed Torts in Jorts

Give Back to the Hash!  

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com. 

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!