EWH3 #1314: The 3rd Anal International Talk Like a Pirate Day Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, September 22 – Potomac Ave (Blue/Orange/Silver Line)

As the CDC and DC Health continue to update and revise guidelines, Mismanagement is working to determine how the hash fits into these recommendations. For this reason, masks are optional for fully vaccinated individuals. Vessels are still required for everyone. 


YAAAARGH! Ahoy and avast, ya filthy landlubbers! 

This trail for the third time be celebratin’ International Talk Like a Pirate Day, the highest of holy days for the saltiest of sea dogs! So brush up on your pirate vocab, swab the poop decks, and raise the black flag, because it’s time for another pirate treasure hunting quest!

Tragedy has yet again befallen our beloved Captain Turd Kind—he’s lost his ship, his treasure, his flag, his rum, even his captain’s coat! But fret not me lads! With you on the crew, we can return to the golden age of piracy! Help Captain Turd Kind in all his pirating needs and you will be rewarded with a spot on his new crew (and with beer)!

BUT BEWARE! Danger awaits you! Not only is Davy Jones’ locker as perilous as ever, the Royal Navy has been alerted to our presence! Navigate these treacherous waters trails correctly and we will all enjoy grog and shanties together on the high seas!

RUM! BEER! QUESTS! SHANTIES! TREASURE! BOOTY! What else do you need in this life?!


When: 6:45 PM Thursday, September 22nd, 2022. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Potomac Avenue Metro

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Potomac and Pennsylvania Ave SE

Hares: Close Encounters of the Turd Kind, Princess Jizzman, and Roll Over Bitch!

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.0 mi. first half / 2.3 mi. second half

– Walkers: 0.9 first half / 0.9 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 1.69

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ (0.4 miles to metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Potomac Ave

Last Trains Out:

– Downtown Largo (Blue): 12:18 am

– Downtown Largo (Silver): 11:58 pm

– New Carrollton (Blue): 12:03 am

– New Carrollton (Orange): 12:20 am

– National Airport (Blue): 11:46 pm

– Wiehle-Reston East (Silver): 11:44 pm

– Vienna/Fairfax-GMU (Orange): 11:52 pm

On After*: Trusty’s! If you plan to come to the On After, note that indoor venues may choose to keep vaccine and mask requirements in place. 

Specials: More beer!

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Upcoming Events and Announcements!

  • D.C. Red Dress: October 8th, rego here.
  • EWH3 is STILL in need of a NEW BREWMEISTER. If you are interested in being the BEER SUPERHERO we all need, please reach out to a member of mismanagement!

Give Back to the Hash!  

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!