EWH3 Trash #1464 – Shipping Up to Boston Trail

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, April 18th, 2025.

Started: Eisenhower Metro – Port St

Ended: Mount Eagle Park, near Huntington Station

Hares: Ha-Cum-On My Tatas, Pussy has Defects (PhD), and Close Encounters of the Turd Kind

Well the Mass-holes truly came out in full force tonight! A new trail bringing us out of the District, with distance and hills for our pack, you would have thought we were actually in Boston on Patriots Day for Marathon Monday. The accents made our ears bleed, but the never ending “ah F*ck you” almost became endearing by the end of the night. But one thing was for certain, whether you slipped some whiskey into your Dunkin or washed back a Sam Adams, it was the libations that surprisingly brought peace between the Massholes and the interloping Yanks and did not result in a bar fight at the end of the night. The unexpected arrival of surprise strippers just bonded the foes even more.

Violations

  • From the very start of circle our hare and the number one Masshole – Close Encounters of the Turd Kind really turned on his accent hard, however now no one else will ever be turn on from him again
  • All these miserable accents must have been angering the locals because a muggle wander toward opening circle, rocking his Yankees shirt, and making sure his dog took a dump on Red Sox territory.
  • The kennel was all collectively concerned about How Much Wood Could a Would Chuck F*ck – when he showed up with a Ziploc bags full of peas for his pre-trail dinner. Where you RIF’d? We all know NY has the best food in the world but we didn’t know it was that dire everywhere else…. Roose agreed to buy him a NY slice
  • Just Sam continues to think that he can just name himself during rego… Sir…you are not the Honorable Madame Secretary Hilary Queefton.
  • A visitor The Giver from New England (Bang ME H3), clearly showed she was from the quieter gentler NE and not Boston as she became the DFL not for being slow, but for abiding by every crosswalk and crossing signal. Is there an anti-safety third award?
  • The pack got off to a typical hash time start as Tumey McBoatface was late once again, but was surprised he did not blame it on the weather and unlike most Bostonians immediately mentioning the nor’easter we were gunna have that night
  • Just Rachel has the audacity to try to start a cult with in a cult, recruiting hashers to join Pilates.
  • At shot check KU taught Straight in the Navy’s daughter how to drive a stick and showed her where he could “pahk a cah in her Hahvahd Yahd”
  • Roose Rips while rocking her NY pinstripes must have been very allergic to Red Sox fans. Despite being completely sober, never ever having thrown up on trail or any athletic activity in her life, puked her guts out on the second half of trail.
  • One last violation for Turd, hurling slurs at the Yanks but he sure didn’t have a problem with that at WIE, dipping below the Massachusetts boarder, slipping into enemy territory.

Check out our Hash Flash Photos Here!!!