EWH3 Trash #1479 – The Annual ‘Feast on the Yeast” Trail

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, July 31th, 2025

Started: Woodly Park Metro – Calvert Street

Ended: C&O Canel Lock

Hares: Havana Lewinski, Oh Hey Not Gay, Immoral Support, Tragic Carpet Ride, Bi Polar Bear

On the eve of National Yeast Day it was a trail for the ages. Another summer DC flash flood thunder storm, shiggy, yeasty flour trail often mixed with fruity pebbles making it look like acceptable puke on trail, yeasty sake, and of course beer!!! The pack was impressed by the variety of the views from some Rock Creek trails, gorgeous houses in Georgetown all ending with beautiful evening views on the Potomac lit up by the Kennedy Center and the Air Force Memorial. But the shadows of the Watergate Hotel set the mood to stir up shenanigans as usual.

Violations

  • Havana Lewinski provided the yeastiest shots, which the pack promptly spit out and soured their faces. All except Ha-Cum-On-My-Tatas who asked if the shots cured yeast infections or gave them – it was decided she should use the shots to fight fire with fire
  • Naughtya Cum and Eat Me miraculous out of character showed up to start on time, which then left her completely confused and got herself lost between start and the beer van. She didn’t understand the concept of putting her bag in the beer van, which made her leave her hash cash in the van, and then forgot to put a vessel in the vessel bin.
  • GFA gets scared of being in the woods after dark, but also then wanted to go for a swim. None of us were going to rescue him but we figured he should be okay because alcohol is less dense than water and that is what 80% of his body is made of, so he should float.
  • Everyone was trying to figure out were TAPS was playing from, we guessed every military base in the DMV that was no where near us. Just goes to show that we are helpless without the hares and the flour they lay. Look no further for proof for many of us getting lost in the brambles and deep woods during White House H3 Campout the weekend before when the flour trail just stopped. We are all still healing our battle scars.
  • Tatas was complaining at start that everyone who worked with Joe in the Button Factory just stuck their tongue out and did not actually hit the button. Volunteers were called upon for a demonstration of their tongue pushing her button, but alas there were no takers.
  • The new transplants Siam and Dick Tracey must still be on Mexico City time as they violated the GM for starting late and being on hash time.
  • Siam also almost got taken out by a bicycle but rescued by Special Red. He must not be used the big hustle and bustle of DC compared to Mexico City.
  • Naughtya was caught to a be a scholar on trail, taking a book from a free mini library on the road.
  • Roll Over Bitch (R.O.B) bragged that he always “won” the hash, this racist behavior led him to calling true trail when it wasn’t, getting lost, finally calling the hares only to be able to be waved to by Bi-Polar Bear, to find he was already at end but at the wrong boat house.
  • Commend everyone who paid in $10 instead of Benjamins, to not cause Whoriana Trench to make change, and it really made her feel like a high class stripper.
  • Bi-Polar Bear really screwed up his fuck, marry, kill choices. The only correct choices were kill Kombucha, marry beer, and fuck sourdough. Because unbaked sourdough is basically a flesh-light.

Check Out Our Hash Flash Photos Here!!!