EWH3 #1508: The Tale of Venera 14 Trail, March 5, 2026, Woodley Park-Zoo/Adams Morgan (Red Line)

OH SHIT! We interrupt your regularly scheduled trail announcement for an important WIE update!!

Hello Wankers! We are less than a month away from WIE but there is still time to rego!

What is WIE? It’s WIE = Where Is Everyone, because we all inevitably get too drunk to realize where we are or where anyone else is. WIE is where EWH3 takes over a hotel in Ocean City, Maryland and does hash shit all weekend! It’s like a campout, but in a hotel, with better amenities, more bars, more karaoke, better fires, more dancing, and fewer mosquitos!

NEW FOR 2026: To encourage you to rego earlier, we are doing raffles at EVERY trail this month. If you are regoed for WIE and come to a trail, you are automatically entered to win a prize. The earlier you rego, and the more you come to trail, the better your odds. Prizes include cool hash merch you will DEFINITELY want to have at WIE!

OK, back to your regularly scheduled trail announcement!

Prelube: Tavern 18

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Long long ago, while wankers were busy perfecting trail markings and singing silly songs, the brilliant (and slightly unhinged) minds at the Soviet space program decided Earth wasn’t hostile enough. So they launched Venera 14 to the most inhashpitable place in the solar system: Venus

On March 5, 1982, Venera 14 punched through Venus’s thicc atmosphere like a hungover hasher through a hedge. It survived the descent with only one major issue – it landed on its own lens cap. When Venera 14 tried to use its soil-sampling drill to test Venusian dirt, it drilled itself (nice).

With that, remember these three important pieces of advice:

  1. Always check where your equipment lands.
  2. Even if you’re melting under pressure, keep transmitting.
  3. If you’re going down, go down gloriously and leave data behind.

So next time you’re sweating through a miserable, humid trail thinking life is unbearable, remember: somewhere in 1982, a brave metal keg lasted nearly an hour on literal hell.

On-on

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD 

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, March 3, 2026. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Woodley Park-Zoo/Adams Morgan Metro (follow marks to start) 

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Calvert St and Connecticut Ave NW

Hares: Just Tommy, Ms. Nuttersworth

Trail Details:
– Walkers: 1.0 mi first half / 1.0 mi second half

– Runners: 2.0 mi first half / 2.0 mi second half

– Shiggy: 1.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (0.5 mi to Dupont Circle Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun. 

We also have a bag van for your personal items!

End Metro: Dupont Circle

Last Trains Out:

Glenmont – 12:00 AM /Shady Grove 12:10 AM

On After*: Across the Pond

Specials: The Irish! Oh, and you!

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Upcoming Events & Announcements!

– Join the EWH3 Discord channel!!! Chat with your friends and other EWH3 members, while also finding trail information all in one place! Make sure to change your name to your hash name upon entering!  https://tinyurl.com/ewh3discord

– Rego for WIE is live!! Ocean Shitty here we come: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-wie-2026-sirens-and-sailors-2026

– Want to see all the dumb shit you did on trail? You can find all those trashyy moments here!: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ewh3/albums/pictures updated weekly!

– You don’t need to be named to hare trail! Find a named hasher to show you the ropes! Open Hare Dates are as follows:

  • March 12th
  • March 26th
  • April 23rd
  • May 14th

Give Back to the Hash!

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com. 

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!