EWH3 Trash #1509: SAINT PATRICK’S DAY TRAIL

When: March 12, 2026
Start: King St
End: TJ Stones
Hares: Ha-Cum-On My TaTas, Naughtyacumneatme , Just Mia

Virgins: Just Helena

 

It was a festive, questionably Irish affair as wankers gathered on King Street to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day the only way hashers know how: poorly dressed, aggressively hydrated, and with just enough green to avoid getting pinched—or arrested. The hares delivered a trail that was equal parts holiday spirit and logistical confusion, proving once again that no one actually knows what’s going on, but everyone is committed to pretending they do.

Between questionable shortcuts, creative interpretations of “walkers trail,” and a crowd fully leaning into the theme (and the alcohol), the night quickly devolved into the kind of chaos that would make Saint Patrick himself consider switching to water.

 

Violations

The RA, Bitches Give Stitches: For choosing violence with the weather today—because apparently rain builds character, or at least excuses.

Ha-Cum-On My Tatas: For asking me if I had success finding a sugardaddy in Monaco, and then calling it “fundraising”—a business model still under investigation.

Cum Dumpling: For his racist jacket—a bold fashion choice that no one asked for.

Infidellatio: For enabling Cum Dumpling, saying “it’s 18 years old so it’s legal”—morally questionable, legally… still questionable.

Just Mia and TaTas: For taking walkers on runners trail—because labels are apparently just suggestions.

General’s Farm Animal: For expecting Irish beer just because Brewmeister is Shamrock—that’s not how supply chains or reality work.

Just Ora: For getting in the spirit, by sitting and rubbing her butt in green flour—committed to the theme, if nothing else.

Vagina Is for Lawyers: For going on about being in a relationship with a guy named Claude, and how good he is at getting him to perform—finally, a partner who actually delivers.

Infidellatio (again): For pointing out how I’m doing the marine biology thing wrong—I should be a “biologist of Marines”. I dated a marine and did a lot of “biologisting,” but never made that connection—seems like a missed academic opportunity.

“Just here to rep Zoloft” guy: For being so happy about it—and Charm City’s Green Dress pre-lube—nothing says mental health advocacy like questionable decision-making.

LMRC (Latino MILF Reverse Cowgirl): For existing as a phrase that no one asked to hear but now cannot forget.

Everyone falling for AI: For trying to identify which bird looks like a human ballsack and proudly settling on the “Ballsack Bird” (Scrotum Aviana)—we’ve officially peaked and are declining as a species. 

Check Out Our Hash Flash Photos Here!!!

 

On-On,
Lickthyologist