Throughout the past few years, as EWH3 hashers have gone about their days completely oblivious to what’s under their noses, operatives from abroad have infiltrated your group. Watching, from a fleet of balloons with an unblinking eye, we have learned your half-mind ways, your illegible marks, your embarrassing tendencies, and your off-key songs. You see us as your friends, your drinking buddies, your lovers – just as we had planned. Because of your misplaced trust, we now know how you think and what you like to drink. Have no doubt that we WILL use it against you. And now it’s time for us to invade. 

So…

Warm up your peeking ducks and fill your hot pots, beause you’re in for a mindblowing BJ experience. It’s time for us to mount your Great Wall and explore your Forbidden City. We’ll bring you from Hou Hai to “oh my”. From Birds Nest to “oh yes”. From Water Cube to “more lube”. From Sanlitun to “get me done”. From CBD to “oui oui oui”. From Fengtai to “fun time”. 

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1356.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, June 1, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: McPherson Square metro – Follow marks to Franklin Park

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 14th St & New York Ave

Hares: Agent Orgy, Quid Pro Blow, MoreMen, Moose Knuckles, Chokes One Out, Cums on Vacation, Sink & Destroy, Molotov Cock

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.3 mi. first half / 2.4 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.2 mi first half / 1.3 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap:
Trail is A to A’ (0.3 mi to McPherson Square Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro:
McPherson Square

Last Trains Out:

Ashburn (SV): 11:58pm

Downtown Largo (SV): 12:00am

Downtown Largo (BL): 12:04am

Franconia-Springfield (BL): 12:00am

New Carrollton (OR): 11:50pm

Vienna/Fairfax-GMU (OR): 12:06am

On After*: Recessions

Specials: you’re special!*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Time for a throwback to old-school EWH3, with wet shoes, flash(!)lights, shot checks, and a bit more mileage, like we used to do (Uphill! Both ways! Through 10 ft of snow! In the blazing heat! Chased by dragons!). Your veteran hares have dug deep into what archives we haven’t forgotten to bring you a classic – nay, timeless! – romp through [somewhere other than downtown] to stoke nostalgia among our fellow oldies and wonder amongst the whipper-snappers. Yes, Virginia, there really are EWH3 trails outside the District!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1355.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, May 25, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Ballston Metro, follow marks to start

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Stuart St & 9th St N

Hares: Pinocchi-Ho; All Flash, No Drive; Spit ‘N’ Spin; Shetland Blow Me; Mambo Number Hives; and Atari 6900

Trail Details:
– Runners: 3.4 mi. first half / 2.5 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.7 mi first half / 1.1 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 3.69


Miscellaneous Crap:
Trail is A to A’ (0.4 mi to Ballston Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro:
Ballston

Last Trains Out:

Downtown Largo (SV) – 11:45 PM
Ashburn (SV) – 12:12 AM
New Carrolton (OR) – 11:35 PM
Vienna/Fairfax-GMU (OR) – 12:20 AM

On After*: CarPool

Specials: TBD

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Tired of boring pavement pounders through downtown?

Want to feel like you’re trailblazing through the Shenandoah without leaving the comfort of your own city?

Well you’re in luck because this week Schrödinger’s Cock is going to take you through some of the best shiggy Cleveland Parkhave to offer! Strap on those new (*snicker*) trail running shoes and rego today!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1353

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, May 18, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Cleveland Park

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Connecticut Ave & Macomb St NW / Cleveland Park

Hares: Schrödinger’s Cock; Crocs On, Crocs Off; Prostate Rights; Unobtanium; and a mystery shiggy hare!

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.2 mi. first half / 1.9 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.2mi first half / 1 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 4.69 (runners will get wet first half) 


Miscellaneous Crap:
Trail is A to Z (1 mi to Columbia Heights Metro).Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro:
Columbia Heights

Last Trains Out:

Branch Ave – 11:45 PM

Greenbelt – 12:23 AM

On After*: Lyman’s

Specials: Getting wet at an edub trail is special

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.