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When: Thursday, July 30, 2020 Where: Fort Totten Park Hares: Son, What the Fuck & Schrodinger’s Cock Brew Crew: Bitches Give Stitches Transplant?: Just Alex Beer! It’s our favorite beverage, but how do you choose the right one? Take our quiz below to find out! The trail has a theme. Do you.. a. Start Amazon […]
WHEN: Thursday, June 25th, 2020 WHERE: Garfield Park (HOLY SHIT, NOT *MY* HOUSE?!) HARES: Poon-Apple Juice, Schrödinger’s Cock So there I was… quarantined for 104 days, only leaving my house to beer and other necessary supplies like liquor and hard seltzer, trapped in the darkest recesses of my mind in an existential quandary that would […]
WHEN: Thursday, June 18th, 2020 WHERE: Your House HARES: You! Buckle up, butternuts, it’s time for your Scribe Report! Pride was canceled, it’s time for Gay Wrath Month! That’s right, the Gay Agenda is in full effect this month, so all of us straight people better watch out! The Gays are COMING for you, and […]
When: Thursday, June 11th, 2020 Where: Wherever you happen to be Hares: You! I’m here to clear up some confusion.. Shanty /ˈSHan(t)ē/ noun A song sung by pirates in rhythm with their work Shandy /ˈSHandē/ noun 1. Beer mixed with lemonade or some other sweet carbonated beverage. 2. A word that should be said when something cool happens or as an […]
When: Thursday, June 4, 2020 Where: Wherever you happen to be Hares: You! Ah, pool parties. The epitome of summer fun. Warm sun, cool water, lifeguards who are older than you but you’ll totally trick into making out.. Unsurprisingly, you all did some even dumber things, though.. Violations: Close Encounters of the Turk Kind reminded us exactly why the […]
WHEN: Thursday, May 28th, 2020 WHERE: Your House HARES: You! Hello, Hellenistic Homies! Hera hopes you hastily hashed your happy hearts out, heaving habitual hibernation, heroically having healthy habits, and helping hospitable humans hydrate heavily! Hurl your hoodies, hammer Hermes with hummus, and humor Hyperion with Homerian horror in this hottest habitable humidity. Handle your […]
WHEN: Thursday, May 21st, 2020 WHERE: Your House HARES: You! Long Time No See’um: Foreskin Shiggy socks are worn to protect the shins and knees of the wearer from thorns, mud, branches, or whatever else they run through. Seeing as this was a virtual trail and also Everyday is Wednesday, the risk of thorns, mud, branches, or […]
WHEN: Thursday, May 14, 2020 WHERE: Your House HARES: You! So, you’ve got a spirit. Don’t panic! We’re here to help you clean out your supernatural closet. Step 1: Rule out non-paranormal sources of activity. No matter how convinced you may be, bear in mind that your problem might not be otherworldly at all. In fact, there […]
WHEN: Thursday, May 7th, 2020 WHERE: Your House! HARES: You! We’ve been locked away for a month and a half. There is no more fresh food left in our pantries. We only have delicious junk food left. It was time to celebrate those staple food items with long shelf lives and start ingesting them! Pull […]
When: Thursday, April 30th, 2020 Where: Wherever you happen to be Hares: You! According to petfinder, pet adoption inquiries jumped 116% in the first few weeks of quarantine. As we all sit in our homes, wondering why no one is judging us harshly or attempting to lick us in places that no tongue should go, let’s take […]