Hey Snow Bunnies and Chill Cats,
Winter trails got you feeling SnowBored?
Well get ready for an event that is sure to lift your spirits.
Break out your winter wonders and your festive bottoms (or not) cuz we’re bringing the heat to the frosty vibes with our 2024 AGM:
Join us as we welcum 2024 MisManagement with three hours of bottomless beer, snacks, and games at the only Apres-Ski this side of Union Station. Rego today!
On – Ski You Later – On
Did you know Half the 262 species of monkeys in the world are threatened with extinction? Fifty-eight of the threatened species live in South and Central America, 46 in Asia and 26 in Africa. Of these, 24 monkeys are critically endangered, with an extremely high chance of soon becoming extinct in the wild.
On December 14, celebrate National Monkey Day and honor our primate ancestors by engaging in some glorified monkey business. We’ll monkey around Petworth in search of shots, before returning to Lyman’s tavern for a barrel of fun!
* Everyday is Wednesday is not responsible for any injuries incurred due to errant banana peels.
SIGN UP ON HASHREGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1388
When: 6:45 PM Thursday, December 14, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!
Where: Lyman’s Tavern – 3720 14th St NW (Closest metro – Georgia Ave/Petworth)
Nearest Capital Bike Share: 14th St & Spring Road NW
Hares: Poon-apple Juice, Head Injury, Vagina is for Lawyers, Roose Rips, Close Encounters of the Turd Kind
Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.1 mi. first half / 1.3 mi. second half
– Walkers: 0.45 first half / 0.6 mi. second half
– Shiggy: .69
Bag drop at Lyman’s will start at 6:45, with opening circle out front promptly at 7:10. Someone will be appointed to stay with the bags, in lieu of a bag van.There will be no real beer check for this trail! Halves are separated by a shot check, however walkers will wait for runners who wish to switch to walkers’ trail.
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (bar to bar). Bring your ID, a cranium light, and a sense of humor. Be smart, have fun.
End Metro: Georgia Ave/Petworth
Last Trains Out:
Green Line to Greenbelt: 12:26am
Green Line to Branch Avenue: 11:43pm
On After: Lyman’s Tavern
Specials: It’s also end circle.. and start
Did you know that male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, but female reindeer don’t? So that ugly sweater you have of humping reindeer is a whole lot kinkier than you thought. And Thursday is your chance to wear it! That’s right, for the ninth year in a row, we are giving you the chance to wear your tackiest, ugliest, or most hideous holiday sweater on a winter wonderland romp!
YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1387.
When: 6:45 PM Thursday, December 7, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!
Where: Eastern Market Metro (Blue/Orange/Silver Lines). Follow marks to start (across Pennsylvania Ave. from the Metro entrance)!
Nearest Capital Bike Share: 8th & Pennsylvania Ave. SE
Hares: Head Injury, Tie Me Up Before You Go-Go, Mystery Hares
Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.2 mi. first half / 1.8 mi. second half
– Walkers: 1.1 mi first half / 0.9 mi. second half
– Shiggy: 0.69
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.
End Metro: Potomac Avenue Metro
Last Trains Out:
Blue Line – Largo: 12:18pm
Blue Line – Franconia Springfield: 11:39pm
Orange Line – New Carrollton: 12:20pm
Orange Line – Vienna: 11:49pm
Silver Line – Largo: 12:11pm
Silver Line – Ashburn: 11:46pm
On After*: Trusty’s!
Specials: You are special.*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.
‘Tis the year of our hero BARBIE, and she, like the Pretty Pretty Princess game, encourages to dress up and explore your potential jobs! Are you President Barbie?
Is your job maybe Beach?
OR maybe Princess Barbie!
We can’t wait to find out!
YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1386
When: 6:45 PM Thursday, November 30, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!
Where: Brookland Metro (Red Line). Follow the marks to start!
Nearest Capital Bike Share: 10th & Monroe St NE
Hares: Colliteral Damage, Spit n Spin, Geriatricmandering, Honey Bunches of C*nt, Whoregon Trail, Vagetarian
Trail Details:
Runners 1st Half 2.6 Mile / 2nd Half 1.6 Mile
Walkers 1st Half 1.5 Mile / 2nd Half 0.69 Mile
Shiggy: .69
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle. Sign-up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.
End Metro: NoMa
Last Trains Out:
Red Line
– Glenmont: 12:14 AM
– Shady Grove: 11:56 PM
On After*: Last Call
Specials: You’re special!
*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.
***********NOTE SPECIAL START TIME: TRAIL IS AT 11AM **********
This is the anal Thanksgiving Day trail. Come help us celebrate the day the natives shared food with starving colonists before they were all slaughtered and rounded up on the sh*tiest pieces of land.
Do not expect this to be a long drawn out affair. We keep it short and to the point. As the fairest member of your hare team has so perfectly explained this in the past, “you will not burn off the calories of one scoop of mashed potatoes and gravy!” If you want to get a nice, sweat breaking R word, we suggest you do it on your own, before or after trail. (Or is this finally the year the hares make good on their threats, get their acts together, and lay an actual trail???)
We will have plenty to drink, including our famous Wild Turkey shots.
We do not serve anything before 11AM, so if you arrive early, BYOB. DC weather is fickle and might be cold, so don’t forget those smallpox blankets to keep warm!
YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD (https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1385).
When: Special Start time of 11AM!!!! Thursday November 23, 2023
Where: Rosslyn Metro (Blue, Orange, Silver Lines): Exit on the east side, Moore St head to the parking deck above The Continental
Nearest Capital Bike Share: Lynn St & 19th St North
Hares: Please Step Away from the Wild Turkeys and friends!
Miscellaneous Crap: Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.
End Metro: If you’re still at the hash when the metro stops running that is on you. We start at 11 A.M. you animals
Last Trains Out: Again, this shouldn’t be a problem.
On After: Top of the parking garage until we run out of booze.
Specials: This whole trail is special!
From the makers of Vault 69 and Fisto, this week your hares have a very S.P.E.C.I.A.L. trail for you. Run through a dystopian hellscape in an area controlled by all powerful defense contractors intent on convincing the American government they need to spend trillions to survive WWIII! Also, we’ll have some fictional video game stuff too. So suit up your power armor, strap-on your Pip-boy, and cum on out to our post-apocalyptic themed trail inspired by the Fallout video game series! Wear your favorite Fallout or videogame themed apparel, or show up as your favorite NPC! Raider? Ghoul? Supermutant? Show us what makes you S.P.E.C.I.A.L.!
Hope you brought your Radaway! “Toxic goo” will light the way to a bomb-tastic reward (beer!). We’ll have just enough shiggy to make you wish for a nuclear winter, so bring your own wasteland survival gear and a dry vault suit to change into.
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YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD. https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1384
When: 6:45 PM Thursday, November 16, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!
Where: Crystal City Metro (Blue and Yellow Lines), follow marks to start!
Nearest Capital Bike Share: Crystal City Metro
Hares: Just MJ, Vagina is for Lone Wanderers, Bipolar Yao guai
Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.0 mi. first half / 2.5 mi. second half
– Walkers: 1.0 mi first half / 1.8 mi. second half
– Radiation Exposure: 7.69
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ (0.8 mi to Crystal City Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun!
End Metro: Crystal City
Last Trains Out:
Blue Line Downtown Largo: 11:46 PM
Blue Line Franconia-Springfield: 12:26 AM
Yellow Line Huntington: 12:11 AM
Yellow Line Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center: 11:38 PM
On After*: Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant, 555 23rd St S, Arlington, VA 22202
Specials: We are all S.P.E.C.I.A.L! Join us for karaoke!
Free bottle caps if you sing something off the fallout soundtrack! 😉
*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.
Want to give back to the hash in a big way? Think you can run things better than the current batch of wankers? Curious about how the hash functions behind the scenes? Like free beer? If so, then come out to EWH3’s Mismanagement Interest Happy Hour next Wednesday (October 18th) from 6-8PM at Dew Drop Inn. Crush some beers, have a bite on us, and pick the brains (or what is left of them) of current members of Mismanagement about their positions.
Want to know a bit more about what you can do? Check out the list of Mismanagement positions here.
If you aren’t able to make it but are interested in a position, please email the GMs at ewh3gms@gmail.com.
Not sure you are ready for MM? Come out anyway and learn about the other ways you can give back to the hash: you can join one of the planning committees for EWH3’s annual events like AGM, WIE, or Pub Crawl, and you can sign up for brew crew.
The details:
Wednesday, October 18
6-8PM
Dew Drop Inn
2801 8th St NE
On-Free Beer!-On
UPDATE:
Avast ye hearties!
It seems as though all of our brew crew candidates feel victim to the siren’s call. Because of this treachery, there will be no bag or beer van this evening. But never fear! Your trusty band of mismanagers has secured a deviously delicious shot check and will cover the first round at Trusty’s for an in-bar circle. In addition, your Captain will man a bag drop at Trusty’s. Due to this, start will be at the bar, NOT the metro.
Pack light and bring water on trail.
On – What’s a pirates favorite kink? Pegging. – On
YAAAARRRGH! AHOY AND AVAST, YA FILTHY LANDLUBBERS!
Once again, it’s time to celebrate Captain Turd Kind’s most sacred religious holiday, International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Join him on another nautical quest for treasure, boats, shanties, and rum! Avoid the Royal Navy at all costs or else your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks!
YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD
When: 6:45 PM Thursday, September 21, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!
Where: Potomac Avenue (Blue/Orange/Silver Lines). Follow marks to start!
Nearest Capital Bike Share: Potomac and Pennsylvania Ave SE
Hares: Captain Turd Kind and his Merry Band of Scurvy Sea Dogs!
Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.0 mi. first half / 2.2 mi. second half
– Walkers: 0.8 mi first half / 0.9 mi. second half
– Shiggy: 1.69
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ (0.4 mi to Potomac Ave Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.
End Metro: Potomac Ave
Last Trains Out:
Silver (Ashburn): 11:49pm
Silver (Largo): 12:14am
Blue (Largo): 12:18am
Blue (Franconia-Springfield): 11:42pm
Orange (New Carrollton): 12:12am
Orange (Vienna/Fairfax): 11:51pm
On After*: Trusty’s
Specials: YOU’RE special!
*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.
“If there’s heaven for me, I’m sure there will be (beer) attached.”
-Jimmy Buffett (or something like that)
Come one, come all! Whether you’re a first time hasher or the Oldest Surfer On The Beach. Show up wearing your best Margaritaville-themed attire and with your Crocs On (clap clap) as we celebrate Coco’s 1 year hash-iversary while we honor Jimmy Buffet and his justifications for why we can drink anytime, anywhere. We’ll be Changing Latitudes and Attitudes, but it won’t be any Trip Around The Sun, because after all, Life is Just a Tire Swing. Let’s Grow Older, Not Up, because Come Monday, we all have to turn back into The People Our Parents Warned Us About.
YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD!
When: 6:45 PM Thursday, September 14, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!
Where: Potomac Avenue Metro (Blue/Orange/Silver Lines)! Follow marks to start!
Nearest Capital Bike Share: Potomac Ave. SE and Pennsylvania Ave. SE
Hares: Crocs On Crocs Off, Tumey McBoatface, Just Aidan, Devil Went Down On Georgia, Lil P
Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.8 mi. first half / 2.4 mi. second half
– Walkers: 1.1 mi first half / 1.3 mi second half
– Shiggy: 0.69
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ (0.5 mi to Potomac Ave. Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.
End Metro: Eastern Market
Last Trains Out:
New Carrollton (Orange): 12:18 AM
Vienna/Fairfax-GMU (Orange): 11:39 PM
Ashburn (Silver): 11:52 PM
Downtown Largo (Silver): 11:55 PM
Downtown Largo (Blue): 11:59 PM
Franconia-Springfield (Blue): 11:52 PM
On After*: The Brig
1001 8th St. SE
Specials: You are special.
*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.
***********
A decade ago, on a warm moist September evening, Hurricane Cuntrina introduced her virgin, then “Just Nikki”, to hashing. The shenanigans began with an Anything but Clothes trail, progressed to twinkle juice and a naming, and the evening concluded with epic karaoke at Recessions. This week, Lickthyologist and a crew of 80s baby hares will all be celebrating their 10 year analversaries of hashing with Everyday is Wednesday! Don your best old school or 80s baby attire or come as you are and join us as we look forward to another decade of good bad decisions!
A Few Gems From the 2013 Hash Flash Vault, In No Particular Order:
YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD
When: 6:45 PM Thursday, September 7, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!
Where: Gallery Place Chinatown, on 7th St in front of the National Portrait Gallery
Nearest Capital Bike Share: 7th & F St NW
Hares: Lickthyologist, Hurricane Cuntrina, Schrodinger’s Cock, Head Injury, You Can’t Handle the Poop
Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.8 mi. first half / 1.8 mi. second half
– Walkers: .9 mi first half / .9 mi. second half
– Shiggy: 0.69
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to Z (.169 mi to metros). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.
Last Trains Out:
Farragut North:
Glenmont (Red) 12:02 AM
Shady Grove (Red) 12:08 AM
Farragut West:
Ashburn (Silver) 12:05 AM
Downtown Largo (Silver) 11:58 PM
Blue Line Downtown Largo (Blue) 12:00 AM
Franconia-Springfield (Blue) 11:58 PM
New Carrollton (Orange) 11:56 PM
Vienna/Fairfax-GMU (Orange) 12:09 AM
On After*: Recessions
Specials: Karaoke is special*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.
