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EWH3 #1386: Pretty Pretty Princess: Barbie Edition. 7:15pm, Thursday, November 30, 2023 – Brookland Metro (Red Line)

‘Tis the year of our hero BARBIE, and she, like the Pretty Pretty Princess game, encourages to dress up and explore your potential jobs!  Are you President Barbie? 

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Is your job maybe Beach?  

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OR maybe Princess Barbie!  image.png

We can’t wait to find out!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1386

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, November 30, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Brookland Metro (Red Line). Follow the marks to start!

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 10th & Monroe St NE

Hares: Colliteral Damage, Spit n Spin, Geriatricmandering, Honey Bunches of C*nt, Whoregon Trail, Vagetarian

Trail Details:

Runners 1st Half 2.6 Mile / 2nd Half 1.6 Mile 

Walkers 1st  Half 1.5 Mile / 2nd Half 0.69 Mile 

Shiggy: .69 


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle. Sign-up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: NoMa 

Last Trains Out:

Red Line

– Glenmont: 12:14 AM

– Shady Grove: 11:56 PM

On After*: Last Call

Specials: You’re special!

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

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EWH3 #1385: The Thanksgiving Day Fiasco #20 Trail! – 11:00 AM Thursday, November 23, 2023 – Rosslyn (Blue, Orange, Silver Lines)

***********NOTE SPECIAL START TIME: TRAIL IS AT 11AM **********

20 Best Thanksgiving Memes - Funny Thanksgiving Photos to Share

This is the anal Thanksgiving Day trail.  Come help us celebrate the day the natives shared food with starving colonists before they were all slaughtered and rounded up on the sh*tiest pieces of land.  

Do not expect this to be a long drawn out affair.  We keep it short and to the point.  As the fairest member of your hare team has so perfectly explained this in the past, “you will not burn off the calories of one scoop of mashed potatoes and gravy!”  If you want to get a nice, sweat breaking R word, we suggest you do it on your own, before or after trail.  (Or is this finally the year the hares make good on their threats, get their acts together, and lay an actual trail???)

We will have plenty to drink, including our famous Wild Turkey shots.  

We do not serve anything before 11AM, so if you arrive early, BYOB.  DC weather is fickle and might be cold, so don’t forget those smallpox blankets to keep warm!

You Need to See These Hilarious Thanksgiving Memes

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD (https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1385).

When: Special Start time of 11AM!!!! Thursday November 23, 2023

Where: Rosslyn Metro (Blue, Orange, Silver Lines): Exit on the east side, Moore St head to the parking deck above The Continental

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Lynn St & 19th St North 

Hares: Please Step Away from the Wild Turkeys and friends!

Miscellaneous Crap: Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.


End Metro: If you’re still at the hash when the metro stops running that is on you. We start at 11 A.M. you animals

Last Trains Out: Again, this shouldn’t be a problem. 

On After: Top of the parking garage until we run out of booze.

Specials: This whole trail is special!

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EWH3 #1384: Crawl Out through the Fallout, Baby!, November 16, 2023, Crystal City Metro Station (Blue and Yellow Lines)

From the makers of Vault 69 and Fisto, this week your hares have a very S.P.E.C.I.A.L. trail for you. Run through a dystopian hellscape in an area controlled by all powerful defense contractors intent on convincing the American government they need to spend trillions to survive WWIII! Also, we’ll have some fictional video game stuff too. So suit up your power armor, strap-on your Pip-boy, and cum on out to our post-apocalyptic themed trail inspired by the Fallout video game series! Wear your favorite Fallout or videogame themed apparel, or show up as your favorite NPC!  Raider? Ghoul? Supermutant? Show us what makes you S.P.E.C.I.A.L.! 

Hope you brought your Radaway! “Toxic goo” will light the way to a bomb-tastic reward (beer!). We’ll have just enough shiggy to make you wish for a nuclear winter, so bring your own wasteland survival gear and a dry vault suit to change into.

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YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD. https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1384

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, November 16, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Crystal City Metro (Blue and Yellow Lines), follow marks to start!

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Crystal City Metro

Hares: Just MJ, Vagina is for Lone Wanderers, Bipolar Yao guai

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.0 mi. first half / 2.5 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.0 mi first half / 1.8 mi. second half

– Radiation Exposure: 7.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ (0.8 mi to Crystal City Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun!

End Metro: Crystal City

Last Trains Out:

Blue Line Downtown Largo: 11:46 PM

Blue Line Franconia-Springfield: 12:26 AM

Yellow Line Huntington: 12:11 AM

Yellow Line Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center: 11:38 PM

On After*: Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant, 555 23rd St S, Arlington, VA 22202

Specials: We are all S.P.E.C.I.A.L! Join us for karaoke! 

Free bottle caps if you sing something off the fallout soundtrack! 😉

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

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EWH3 Mismanagement Interest Happy Hour! 6-8pm Wednesday, October 18th, Dew Drop Inn

Want to give back to the hash in a big way? Think you can run things better than the current batch of wankers?  Curious about how the hash functions behind the scenes? Like free beer?  If so, then come out to EWH3’s Mismanagement Interest Happy Hour next Wednesday (October 18th) from 6-8PM at Dew Drop Inn. Crush some beers, have a bite on us, and pick the brains (or what is left of them) of current members of Mismanagement about their positions.  

Want to know a bit more about what you can do? Check out the list of Mismanagement positions here.

If you aren’t able to make it but are interested in a position, please email the GMs at ewh3gms@gmail.com.

Not sure you are ready for MM?  Come out anyway and learn about the other ways you can give back to the hash: you can join one of the planning committees for EWH3’s annual events like AGM, WIE, or Pub Crawl, and you can sign up for brew crew.

The details:

Wednesday, October 18

6-8PM

Dew Drop Inn

2801 8th St NE

On-Free Beer!-On

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EWH3 #1376: The 4th Anal International Talk Like a Pirate Day Trail, September 21, 2023, Potomac Ave (Blue/Orange/Silver Lines)

UPDATE:

Avast ye hearties! 

It seems as though all of our brew crew candidates feel victim to the siren’s call. Because of this treachery, there will be no bag or beer van this evening. But never fear! Your trusty band of mismanagers has secured a deviously delicious shot check and will cover the first round at Trusty’s for an in-bar circle. In addition, your Captain will man a bag drop at Trusty’s. Due to this, start will be at the bar, NOT the metro. 

Pack light and bring water on trail. 

On – What’s a pirates favorite kink? Pegging. – On


YAAAARRRGH! AHOY AND AVAST, YA FILTHY LANDLUBBERS!

Once again, it’s time to celebrate Captain Turd Kind’s most sacred religious holiday, International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Join him on another nautical quest for treasure, boats, shanties, and rum! Avoid the Royal Navy at all costs or else your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, September 21, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Potomac Avenue (Blue/Orange/Silver Lines). Follow marks to start!

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Potomac and Pennsylvania Ave SE

Hares: Captain Turd Kind and his Merry Band of Scurvy Sea Dogs!

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.0 mi. first half / 2.2 mi. second half

– Walkers: 0.8 mi first half / 0.9 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 1.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ (0.4 mi to Potomac Ave Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Potomac Ave

Last Trains Out:

Silver (Ashburn): 11:49pm

Silver (Largo): 12:14am

Blue (Largo): 12:18am

Blue (Franconia-Springfield): 11:42pm

Orange (New Carrollton): 12:12am

Orange (Vienna/Fairfax): 11:51pm

On After*: Trusty’s

Specials: YOU’RE special!

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

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EWH3 #1375: It is 5 O’Croc Somewhere Trail!, September 14, 2023, Potomac Avenue Metro (Blue/Orange/Silver Lines)

“If there’s heaven for me, I’m sure there will be (beer) attached.”

-Jimmy Buffett (or something like that)

Come one, come all! Whether you’re a first time hasher or the Oldest Surfer On The Beach. Show up wearing your best Margaritaville-themed attire and with your Crocs On (clap clap) as we celebrate Coco’s 1 year hash-iversary while we honor Jimmy Buffet and his justifications for why we can drink anytime, anywhere. We’ll be Changing Latitudes and Attitudes, but it won’t be any Trip Around The Sun, because after all, Life is Just a Tire Swing. Let’s Grow Older, Not Up, because Come Monday, we all have to turn back into The People Our Parents Warned Us About.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, September 14, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Potomac Avenue Metro (Blue/Orange/Silver Lines)! Follow marks to start!

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Potomac Ave. SE and Pennsylvania Ave. SE

Hares: Crocs On Crocs Off, Tumey McBoatface, Just Aidan, Devil Went Down On Georgia, Lil P

Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.8 mi. first half / 2.4 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.1 mi first half / 1.3 mi second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ (0.5 mi to Potomac Ave. Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Eastern Market

Last Trains Out:

New Carrollton (Orange): 12:18 AM

Vienna/Fairfax-GMU (Orange): 11:39 PM

Ashburn (Silver): 11:52 PM

Downtown Largo (Silver): 11:55 PM

Downtown Largo (Blue): 11:59 PM

Franconia-Springfield (Blue): 11:52 PM

On After*: The Brig

1001 8th St. SE

Specials: You are special.

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

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EWH3 #1374: 80s Babies 10th Hash Analversary Trail, September 7, 2023, Gallery Place/ Chinatown (Yellow/Green Line)

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A decade ago, on a warm moist September evening, Hurricane Cuntrina introduced her virgin, then “Just Nikki”, to hashing. The shenanigans began with an Anything but Clothes trail, progressed to twinkle juice and a naming, and the evening concluded with epic karaoke at Recessions. This week, Lickthyologist and a crew of 80s baby hares will all be celebrating their 10 year analversaries of hashing with Everyday is Wednesday! Don your best old school or 80s baby attire or come as you are and join us as we look forward to another decade of good bad decisions!

A Few Gems From the 2013 Hash Flash Vault, In No Particular Order:

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD 

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, September 7, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Gallery Place Chinatown, on 7th St in front of the National Portrait Gallery

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 7th & F St NW

Hares: Lickthyologist, Hurricane Cuntrina, Schrodinger’s Cock, Head Injury, You Can’t Handle the Poop

Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.8 mi. first half / 1.8 mi. second half

– Walkers: .9 mi first half / .9 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to Z (.169 mi to metros). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

Last Trains Out: 

Farragut North:

Glenmont (Red)                                       12:02 AM

Shady Grove (Red)                                 12:08 AM

Farragut West:

Ashburn (Silver)                         12:05 AM

Downtown Largo (Silver)             11:58 PM

Blue Line Downtown Largo (Blue)   12:00 AM

Franconia-Springfield (Blue)   11:58 PM

New Carrollton (Orange)             11:56 PM

Vienna/Fairfax-GMU (Orange)   12:09 AM

On After*: Recessions

Specials: Karaoke is special*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

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EWH3 Pub Crawl 2023 : The Eras Tour

We’re enchanted to announce our next Pub Crawl: EDUB | The Eras Tour, a journey through the musical eras of our drinking career (past and present!) The first leg of the tour will be in beer gardens across NOMA, with international dates to be announced as soon as we can! Feeling like the luckiest hasher alive because we get to take these brilliant drunks out on the crawl with us: EWH3! We can’t WAIT to see your gorgeous faces out there. It’s been a long time coming.

Your rego includes the following:
– A giveaway just for this occasion
– THREE bar stops, with a drink at each
– TWO shot checks, with games and challenges
– The chance to earn glory (and prizes)
– And MORE!

Rego today!

The tour schedule is here!

2:45pm – Circle up at NoMa Metro
3pm – Bar One
Use the ticket handed to you at the bar! (Note: there is food you can buy at this stop.)
3:45 – 4:00pm –
Journey through the Ages to Shot Check
4:00-4:20pm – GAMES!
4:30pm– Bar Two (food here)
Use the ticket handed to you at the bar entrance!
5:15-5:30pm –
Musical Parade to Shot Check #2
5:45-6:30pm – Bar Three (Again… food here)
Use the ticket handed to you at the bar entrance!

Joining us late? Individuals “paying their own way” who wish to join at the final stop will be charged a reduced fee of $10 for entry. Reach out to the organizers for more information.
Theme:

Taylor Swift / Musical Eras (60s, 70s, 80s, etc.)Stuff to Bring:

GOVERNMENT ISSUED IDENTIFICATION CARD, Vessel, Musical Era Costume(s)

Cost: $45

Start Location Details

NoMa / Gallaudet U Metro

200 Florida Ave NE, Washington, DC 20002

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EWH3 AGM 2023 – Saturday, January 14 @ 8:30 PM – VENUE CHANGE

Wankers!

Our Anal General Meeting is just one week away and your committee has some exciting updates for you.

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Due to a New World Order, there has been a venue change. We will now gather at Astro Beer Hall in Metro Center. Your rego still includes two+ hours of open bar and snacks. This new venue will allow for bottomless gluten-free options for all!

Now is the time to place your nominations for EWH3 Superlatives. Use the Google Form here to submit your nominations by Thursday at 11:59 PM. The final winners will be chosen through a vote by AGM attendees. You will receive a voting link at sign-in.

Schedule:

8:30 PM – Doors Open

9:00 PM – Open Bar Begins

9:15 PM – Voting for Superlative Closes

9:30 PM – Circle

11:00 PM – Last Call for Open Bar

11:30 PM – Final Bell

Bring your A-game, a credit card for additional food or shots, and cash to tip the bartenders. You will need an ID. No nudity will be permitted at this event.

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Online regos close on Thursday, January 12 at 11:59 PM. After this, day-of regos will be available at the door for $42. Don’t delay, Rego now!

On – OH MY GOD IS THAT TURD KIND WITH A STEEL CHAIR?! – On
AGM Committee 

MisMan Interest Happy Hour 7pm Weds. Nov. 2nd @ Andy’s Pizza Noma

Want to give back to the hash in a big way? Think you can run things better than the current batch of wankers?  Curious about how the hash functions behind the scenes? Like free beer?  If so, then come out to EWH3’s Mismanagement Interest Happy Hour next Wednesday (Nov 2nd) from 7-8:30PM at Andy’s Pizza. Grab a slice, have some drinks on the hash, and pick the brains (or what is left of them) of current members of Mismanagement about their positions.  

Want to know a bit more about what you can do? Check out the list of Mismanagement positions here.

If you aren’t able to make it but are interested in a position, please email the GMs at ewh3gms@gmail.com.

Not sure you are ready for MM?  Come out anyway and learn about the other ways you can give back to the hash: you can join one of the planning committees for EWH3’s annual events like AGM, WIE, or Pub Crawl, and you can sign up for brew crew or to hare.

The details:

Wednesday, Nov. 2nd

7-8:30PM

Andy’s Pizza NOMA

51 M St. NE, Upstairs

On-Free Beer!-On.