When: Thursday June 24, 2021
Where: Dupont Circle
Hares: I Cum in the Land Down under, sKooter Kunte, Have You Blown My Stapler?, Jeremiah Was a Cumfrog
Virgins: Just Amanda
Visitors: none
Trail Treasure: Ok, I know we had some but their names escape me…
This week, I present to you an excerpt from the “official”
EWH3 Recipe Blog
Slightly less than four years ago, this scribe set out on a journey that can only be described as… misinformed and irresponsible. Growing up in suburban Pennsylvania, mugs meant a lot to her. They were a convenient ice cream transport system, a comfortable storage space for hot cocoa, and a projectile that one time she picked one up and there was a spider in it. 194 trails later, on this warm, colorful night in June 2021, she found herself once again facing a mug – this time of obscene proportion – with a new purpose. This celebratory mug was filled by the masses, those who were both happy and sad to see her cum week after week. I share this recipe, passed down through generations, only so you too can celebrate when the time is right, but in a plea for your grace as you see how absolutely terrible these violations are.
Poon-apple’s “Night Night” Juice
(Note: All quantities are approximations and may be modified to “taste”)
24 parts warm Bud Light
12 parts slightly chilled PBR
7 parts SchroCo’s whiskey
4 parts Costco lime seltzer
1 part whatever was in GFA’s flask
Splash of backwash
Preparation:
Pour into an unnecessarily large mug in whatever order strikes your fancy. For best results, consider layering ingredients. Don’t look down into the depths of this beverage or breathe through your nose. Consume as fast as possible while a crowd shouts at you in jest. Take approximately 15 seconds to regret your decisions before being called into circle to judge the choices of others’ and call them out on their…
Violations:
As usual, Atari 6900 was excited to see the staff, while Cum Dumpling proved he wasn’t a size queen.
Seriously 5-10 tried to violate the only woman who might possibly take him home. I offered a free beer for anyone who proved me otherwise, but alas – I never had to pony up.
The Hares perpetuated the gender wage gap by making the women work twice as hard as the men with nothing more to show for it.
Deep Anal Horizon was accused of slander against a Harriette. Spread your legs, not your lies.
And of course… what Pride trail would be complete without a Rainbow?
Just Marley recently learned to rev up his own red rocket.
The Cumburglar coughed on someone at start. ORANGE you glad we’re all vaccinated?
GPS approached Jeremiah Was a Cumfrog too quickly, interrupting their stream.
SKooter Kunte showed her love of being green by trying to fuck a Vespa.
General Tso’s Dicken really blew it this weekend.
Vincent Van Go Fuck Myself was outed as both Bi AND Lit – Violet. (Yea, this one was a stretch, but to be fair I was one full danger mug down at this point).
As we wrapped up this beautiful trail on a beautiful night, your humble (drunk) scribe called a social to urge us all to appreciate our sparkly community. Remember…
Glitter doesn’t sparkle unless there’s light for it to reflect. That light is all of you, who lift one another up and shine on-on every day.
On – #SpreadGlitterNotHerpes – On
Poon-apple Juice