It’s so hot in DC – some would say it’s like 199 degrees – and you’re sweating just reading this. So join us on Thursday to hash it out & body roll – but don’t wake up alone starin’ at your ceiling. What’s it take to get your rego?

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, July 18, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: *Fort HOTten Metro. Follow marks to start!*

Nearest Capital Bike Share: *Fort Totten Station Road*

Hares: *Son, What the Fuck?!, Head Injury, Choco Del Taco, Jebutante, The Whore You Know (and Just Annabelle)*

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.3 mi. first half / 2.6 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1 mi first half / 1.7 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 2.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (.25 mi to *Georgia Ave* Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, shiggy socks, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: *Georgia Ave/Petworth*

Last Trains Out:

Branch Ave – 11:41pm / Greenbelt 12:27am

On After: Midlands

Specials: You’re special.

Are these dog days of summer getting you down? Have you been feeling dull and drab lately? Well get ready to spice up your life with a little girl power!! 28 years ago this week, the Spice Girls released their hit single “Wannabe” and solidified themselves as the best selling girl group of all time. There’s no better way to celebrate these icons than slamming your body (and some beers) down and winding it all around! So if you really really really wanna zig-a-zig-ah, get your act together, and rego in time!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, July 11, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Cleveland Park Metro – Follow Marks to Start*

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Connecticut Ave. NW and Macomb St. NW

Hares: Burlington Ho Factory, Jeb!utante, Son What the Fuck, Poon-apple Juice, and How Much Wood Could A Woodchuck Fuck

Trail Details:
– Runners: 3.30 mi. first half / 2.0 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.60 mi first half / 1.0 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (1.1 mi to Georgia Ave/Petworth Metro – GREEN LINE). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Georgia Ave-Petworth (GREEN LINE)

Last Trains Out:

Branch Ave – 11:41pm

Greenbelt – 12:27am

On After: Lyman’s Tavern

Specials: Natty Bo’s for $4, what else could you possibly need?

Note that this week’s trail is at 1:00 PM! In order to ensure we have enough tasty treats for all, please rego ASAP even if you are paying cash! This will allow our host to purchase grilling items. Feel free to bring along sides or snacks to snare! 

Attention all red-blooded Americans and god-hating communists alike! This fourth of July, EWH3 kindly invites you to celebrate one of America’s greatest pastimes: getting day-drunk with your friends at a house in the suburbs! Join us for a beer-soaked extravaganza where the red, white, and brews flow freely.

We’ve got coolers stacked higher than Lady Liberty’s torch, and enough grilled goodies to make Uncle Sam blush. So grab your stars and stripes, leave your inhibitions at home, and come celebrate ‘Merica with us in the most hop-tastic way possible! Let’s make this Independence Day a frothy, fun-filled fiesta to celebrate our independence from sobriety, where every hasher is entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of drunkenness!

Make sure you stay for a very special naming for our brand new van! After all there’s nothing more American than combining our passion for alcohol with our love for the automobile! 

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 1:00 PM Thursday, July 4th. Pack will be away right at 1:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Greenbelt Metro (West exit, follow marks)

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 2.2 miles to Greenbelt Station Pkwy

Hares: How Much Wood Could a Woodchuck Fuck, Burlington Ho-Factory, Just Desi

Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.4 mi.

– Walkers: 0.7 mi  

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (0.7 mi to Greenbelt Metro). Bring your own vessel, a suit for the hot tub (or not), a camp chair to sit in, snacks to share, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Greenbelt

Last Trains Out:

Branch Ave – 11:26 PM

On After: PSA’s House!

Specials: Hot dogs and hamburgers, hot tub time, BYO chair!

School’s out! It’s hot. It’s humid. It’s summer in DC. Cool off with the biggest pool-free pool party this side of the Anacostia. Whether you prefer to BREASTstroke, Doggy (style) paddle, or just hang by the edge, prepare to get wet and wild.

For the seventh(?!) year in a row, we’ll have itsy-bitsy attire and plenty of gummy bears (and also maybe some “teeny weenies” – sorry not sorry). Cum dressed to impress in your bikinis, one piece suits, speedo, tankini, or mankini. 

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, June 27, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Navy Yard-Ballpark Metro Station – Follow the signs for the Department of Transportation and then follow marks to start at Tingey Plaza

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 3rd & Tingey St SE

Hares: Poon-apple Juice, Dry Rub, Shamrock Your Cock, The Cumburglar, Vagitarian, & Close Encounters of the Turd Kind

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.5 mi. first half / 1.5 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.6 mi first half / 0.75 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 1.69 – Expect to get wet!


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Bring your own vessel, your favorite bikini, sunblock, and dry shoes/clothes for on-after. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Navy Yard-Ballpark

Last Trains Out:

Branch Ave 12:18 AM

Greenbelt 11:52 PM

On After: Atlas Navy Yard – Please plan to change into dry clothes or don a cover up for on-after!

Specials: Beer AND Pizza – What more could you ask for?!

No offense to any of you breeders out there, but you’ve had your day/s already, now it’s time for a day for all of us non-breeders. We should have a day to be celebrated for helping offset all the reproducers out there and keeping the population in check. To that end, introducing the First Anal NOT Father’s Day Trail. Whether pulling out, anal, oral, condoms, or good ol’ fashioned vasectomies, however you prevent pregnancy when you cum, cheers to you!! And cheers to the ladies too, for doing the heavy lifting with birth control and playing goalie. This trail celebrates all who haven’t procreated, for whatever your reasons… And if you need some reasons, here are some celebrity takes on why they don’t spawn: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/g35350991/celebrities-without-kids/

Also, it’s going to be HOT and the trail is on the summer solstice, so get ready to enjoy the LONGEST day of the year. There will be all the sunlight and an excessive amount of heat, so be smart and wear as little as possible… 

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, June 20, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center Metro (Green/Yellow lines) 

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Capital Bikeshare: Convention Center / 7th & M St NW

Hares:  No Strings Attached, Schrodinger’s Cock, Tuneless, Bipolar Bear, You Can’t Handle the Poop

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.0 mi. first half / 1.5 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.0 mi. first half / 0.75 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.069


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (0.2 mi to Shaw-Howard U Metro). Bring your own vessel and a full water bottle (stay hydrated!). You won’t need a cranium light or dry shoes, bug spray at your discretion. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Shaw-Howard University Metro Station

Last Trains Out:

Green – Branch Ave: 11:47 PM

Green – Greenbelt: 12:21 AM

On After: Electric Cool-Aid

Specials: Ice cold drinks are full price, but special with how hot it will be (and they are making sure food will still be available when we get there).

As many of you have noticed, Hash Rego is down. While we hope this is temporary, MM wanted to update you with rego-ing options for tonights trail.

Option One – Pay $10 cash at start

Option TwoPay with credit/debit via Paypal here.

In either case, please check in with the hash cashes upon arrival. 

If you have already rego’d and paid via hash rego, please check in with Hash Cash upon arrival to ensure that you receive credit for this week’s trail. 

The Pride Parade may not have gone through Dupont Circle this year, but we certainly will! Get out the rainbow attire, throw on some glitter, and cum celebrate pride with all your LGBTQIA+ wankers and allies!

As we bring the queer cheer back to Dupont with sparkles and flourish.

YOU MUST USE PAYPAL IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, June 13th, 2024. Pack will be away at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Dupont Circle Metro, starting in the Dupont Circle traffic circle.

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Capital Bikeshare: Massachusetts Ave & Dupont Circle NW

Hares: Ready Player None, Lawyers Share Dildos, Tumey McBoat Face, Screaming Pussy, and maybe a mystery hare.

Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.68 mi. first half / 1.53 mi. second half

– Walkers: 0.85 mi first half / 0.75 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 1.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, glitter, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Dupont Circle

Last Trains Out: Fort Totten: 12:00, Shady Grove: 12:10

On After: Madhatter

Specials: $1 beer – Yes, you read that right

The zombies are coming! Can you run faster than the walking dead? Or I guess walk faster? If not, it’s time to join the herd! This hash you’re gonna need to decide: Will you eat or be eaten out? It’s a no brain-er.*

*CDC recommends copious beer consumption every Thursday to combat potential viral infections

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, June 6, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Gateway Park, 1300 Lee Hwy, Arlington, VA 22209

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 19th St N & Ft Myer Dr

Hares: Sloppenheimer, Head Injury, SAD, Screaming Pussy, Immoral Support

Trail Details:
– Runners: 3.25 mi. first half / 1.8 mi. second half

– Walkers:1.2 mi first half / 1.0 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 2.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (1 block to Rosslyn Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Rosslyn Metro

Last Trains Out:

Ashburn 12:09 AM

Blue Line to Downtown Largo 11:55 PM

Silver Line to Downtown Largo 11:53 PM

Franconia-Springfield 12:16 AM

New Carrollton 11:51 PM

Vienna/Fairfax-GMU 12:13 AM

On After*: Continental Beer Hall

Specials: You’re Special

Do you want to know when the next bear sighting in D.C. will be? Perhaps you want to know why millionscitation need of women would rather take their chances with a wild bear than the average Joe Rogan listener. Maybe you’d just like to know which of your friends you can outrun, since both of you can’t escape a grizzly’s top speed of 35 mph (which is only slightly slower than Bipolar Bear’s top speed when nearing a shot check). Well we have answers to all these questions, and more you didn’t even want! 

Approximation a certain hare the day after this trail

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, May 30, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Capital Bikeshare: Woodley Park Metro / Calvert St & Connecticut Ave NW, across from the Chipotle

Hares: Bipolar Bear, Seabear Slayer, Bearfucker, Throbbin Bear

Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.9 mi. first half /2.5 mi. second half

– Walkers: .969 mi first half / 1.5 mi. second half, dog/bear friendly

– Runners Shiggy: 3.69 


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A ( mi to .3 miles to Admo Metro). Bring the Bear Necessities – your own vessel, a cranium light, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Woodley Park/Adams Morgan

Last Trains Out:

Glenmont 11:57 PM

Shady Grove 12:13 AM

On After: Town TavernSpecials: Give the bear vodka and no one gets hurt

– URGENT – Hares Needed NEXT WEEK – May 30! Email the Hare Razor to sign up. Need a location? Maps? Theme? We can help with that!

Get ready to travel back to May 23, 1934, for a hash you won’t forget! Imagine waking up in the Great Depression, swiping a slick Ford V8, and hitting a bank with your partner-in-crime riding shotgun. But here’s the twist: the law had a sneaky plan! They set up a roadblock, ambushed Bonnie and Clyde, and ratatatatatat! The party ended in a flash. But fear not! While Bonnie and Clyde’s wild ride definitely hit a roadblock, their legend lives on! So dust off those vintage 30s threads or generic bank robber attire, grab your money bags, and get away like it’s not 1934!

*********** 

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, May 23, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Benning Road station, which is just one stop further from Stadium Armory! It isn’t in Maryland! Follow marks to start.

Nearest Capital Bike Share: https://maps.app.goo.gl/JFJshwGAzEYiMR969

Near the metro and Shrimp Boat Plaza

Hares: Special Red, Dingle All the Way, Just Kyle, and Screeching Eargasm

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.69 mi. first half / 2.2 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.5 mi first half / 1.3 mi. second half

– Shiggy: runners 1.69 / walkers 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (1 mi to Potomac Ave Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Potomac Ave

Last Trains Out:

Silver, Ashburn: 11:49 PM

Silver, Downtown Largo: 12:14 AM

Blue, Downtown Largo: 12:18 AM

Blue, Franconia-Springfield: 11:42 PM

Orange, New Carrollton: 12:12 AM

Orange, Vienna/Fairfax-GMU: 11:51 PM

On After: Trusty’s

Specials: Special Red is special!

Dust off your racket, don your tennis whites (as if any of you deserve to wear white), and get ready to ace this trail! Your hares are serving up a short trail to celebrate the upcumming French open, complete with beer, balls, Battlestar Galactica. Whether you want to spend your beer check grand-slamming beers or making love-love connections, the hares guarantee you’re going to get smashed!*

*Note: EWH3 does not guarantee sexual favors or minimum BAC.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, May 16, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Braddock Road, follow marks to start

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Braddock Road Metro North

Hares: Poon-apple Juice, Whoriana Trench, Jeb!utante, Dry Rub, & a Mystery Hare

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.0 mi. first half / 2.0 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.1 mi first half / 1.1 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 1.69 (yes, you’ll have to run on dirt)


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A. Bring your vessel, some balls to fondle, bug spray/sunglasses to keep the gnats out of your face, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Trail is dog friendly, with tennis balls to chase! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Braddock Road

Last Trains Out:

Downtown Largo – 11:38 PM

Franconia Springfield – 12:34 AM

Huntington – 12:19 AM

Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center – 11:30 PM

On After: T.J. Stones

Specials: Discounted wings and hundreds of beers to choose from!