Did you know that male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, but female reindeer don’t? So that ugly sweater you have of humping reindeer is a whole lot kinkier than you thought. And Thursday is your chance to Where: Eastern Market Metro (Blue/Orange/Silver Line) – follow marks to start!
wear it! That’s right, for the fifth year in a row, we are giving you the chance to wear your tackiestugliest, or most hideous holiday sweater on a winter wonderland romp!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday December 12th, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!

Hares: Head Injury; Issues and Tissues, Rail Mary, Rosetta Bone, Special Red, and Unobtainium

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ and is a pavement pounder. No shiggy unless you do something weird. Trail is stroller and dog friendly.  It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 4.1 miles long (about 2.2 miles first half and 1.9 miles second half). Walkers’ trail usually is approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail.

Last trains out of Potomac Avenue (Blue/Orange/Silver Lines)

On After:
Trusty’s1420 Pennsylvania Ave. SE

Specials: You are special

Twenty years ago, a group of hashers gathered outside Union Station, in hopes of getting drunk on a Wednesday (in case anyone ever thought it odd we’re named Every Day is Wednesday and run on Thursdays – we started out on Wednesdays). What they did, instead, was create magic. Join some of those pivotal humans as they share tales of yore and do what they do best – get you drunk!  So don your favorite 90’s clothes (assuming they didn’t disintegrate into oblivion like the rest of that decade), and come out with some of EWH3’s original bunch for a special anal-versary trail!

When: Thursday, December 5, 2019; 6:45 circle up, Pack away 7:15!

Where: Union Station – follow marks to start!

Hares: Special Head Kid, Poon-apple Juice, Seizure’s Phallus, Mourning Wood

Hares of Honor: Pimp of Sarajevo, Holy Tit!, JAG Queen, Harem Scarem, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, $50 Bitch

Trail length:
Runners: 3.25 miles
Walkers: 1.5 miles

Miscellaneous crap: Trail is A to bar with no beer check – only shots! (but trust me, it’s going to be more than enough shots.) Be sure to get a wristband from Hash Cash when you sign in!

It’s obviously going to be cold and dark so bundle up and bring a lamp and ID. Don’t forget to use your brain and have fun. 

Last trains out of Union Station (Red Line):
Glenmont 11:42 PM
Shady Grove 11:28 PM

On After: Kelly’s Irish Times

Specials: Circle beer will be available until it’s not. After that, $4 Miller Lites and Ciders

This is somewhere about the 15th or 16th year your hares are hosting this trail!  Don’t look to get your marathon training done for the week on this trail.  As the fairest member of your hares so eloquently put it years ago, “You won’t burn off the calories found in one scoop of mashed potatoes and gravy!”  This trail is short and sweet.  Walkers trail is even shorter than runners. 

We will be providing our famous shots of Wild Turkey!  Along with one or 2 other surprises.  Shamrock usually also provides us with a special treat.  This is normally one of the drunkest trails of the year that doesn’t have Twinkle juice!  So come hang out with us and drink your fill during the day and then go stuff yourself with food later.

When: SPECIAL START TIME of 11AM

Pre-Lube: Begins at 10AM at the parking deck.  Bring your own drinks!  No alcohol will be provided from the hash until after trail has started.

Start:  Parking deck above the Continental in Rosslyn, VA

Hares:  Please Step Away from the Whores, Purple Peter Eater, Aeriola Borialis, and maybe a mystery hare or 2.

No On After:  Go home and bother your real family

Metro: Metro is running on holiday schedule so plan on waiting 20 minutes between trains.

Hey, look at me Morty, I turned myself into a trail announcement. What up, my glip-glops? It’s time for the Rick and Morty trail you’ve always wanted but never had. Flip the pickle Morties, it’s time to get schwifty. Wear anything from a different reality or whatever you want, nothing you think matters actually matters. So come out and get riggety-riggety wrecked son! 

Image result for riggity riggity wrecked GIF

When: 6:45 circle up, Pack away 7:15!

Where: Rosslyn Metro – follow marks to start!

Hares: #Squadholes, Tik Tok it’s Dik O’Clock, Heaven’s Gape and Quid Pro Blow

Trail length:
Runners: 1.9mi first half, 1.7mi second half
Walkers: 0.9mi first half, 0.75mi second half

Theme: Rick and Morty

Miscellaneous crap: Trail is A to A with a couple Rick vs Jerry splits (don’t be a Jerry, Jerry), a few Kennedy Sex Tunnels, two Meeseeks, and 0.69 shiggy. It’s obviously going to be cold and dark- tough titties- so bundle up and bring a headlamp + mug. Don’t forget to use your brain and have fun. 

Last trains out of Rosslyn:
Blue: Franconia-Springfield 11:47 PM, Largo Town Center 11:25 PM
Silver: Wiesel-Reston East 11:30 PM, Largo Town Center 11:12 PM
Orange: New Carrollton 11:14 PM, Vienna/Fairfax-GMU 11:45 PM

On After: Continental

Specials: Schezuan Sauce

P.S. Wubba lubba dub dub.

Image result for wubba lubba dub dub gif

Remember that great rave back in Nov 2016? Or what about that one in Nov 2017? Missed it, don’t remember it, weren’t there? Don’t worry, we got the perfect excuse to dust off those unused glow sticks! Come on out for this bass dropping, tremble shaking glow trail and help celebrate Twater Boarding and Atari 6900!s’ birthdays! Trail will have all your favorite old school electronic beats. Like this one! And don’t forget Karaoke at the on-after…

When: 6:45 PM, Nov 14th. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Pentagon City Station and walk to Champs for Prelewb and start, 1100 S Hayes St, Arlington, VA 22202.

Hares: Atari 6900, Twater Boarding, Shart Sharts, Chicks Ahoy, Goldman Ballsach, Bow Chica

Trail Length: 
Runners total trail: 1st is 1.58 mi, 2nd is 1.9 mi
Walker’s total trail: 1st is 1 mi, 2nd is 1 mil

Theme: Suggested themes include: Rave Kitty, Sandstorm, chocolate milk rave, but please, no goth Christmas ravers!

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. There may or may not be glow sticks. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of [On-In Metro]:
Franconia-Springfield 11:53 PM
Greenbelt 11:07 PM
Huntington 11:35 PM
Largo Town Center 11:19 PM

On After: Freddies’

Specials: Karaoke – Tip your DJ, Leave Bags at the Door!

I. Situation

244th Birthday of the United States Marine Corps, 35th Birthday of La Gingeracha, and a remarkable new addition to the illustrious lore of our beloved Corps: Elizabeth Warren apparently fucked a 24-year-old Marine so hard she broke him. Don’t believe us? It’s true: https://youtu.be/SoRc298lahI?t=136 and https://www.thecut.com/2019/10/jacob-wohl-smear-attempt-just-makes-elizabeth-warren-seem-cool.html

II. Mission

Drink and be merry in honor of our beloved Corps.

III. Execution


When: 6:45 PM Thursday November 7th, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Rosslyn Station – follow marks to start at the Iwo Jima Memorial

Hares: Downward-Facing Doggy Style, Shart Sharts, Sphincter Shy, Camo Sutra, La Gingeracha, General’s Farm Animal, and mystery hares!

IV. Administration/Logistics

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Some shiggy/PI potential for runners. Walkers’ trail is dog and stroller friendly, runners’ is not.

It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring lumination & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 9 clicks (5.5 mi) long (about 3.5 mi for the first half and 2 mi for the second half). Walkers’ trail will be approximately 5 clicks (3.1 mi) long.

Last trains out of Rosslyn:
Orange Line Franconia-Springfield 11:47 PM
Blue Line Largo Town Center 11:25 PM
Silver Line Largo Town Center 11:12 PM
Orange Line New Carrollton 11:14 PM
Orange Line Vienna/Fairfax-GMU 11:45 PM
Silver Line Wiehle-Reston East 11:30 PM

Last trains out of Foggy Bottom:
Orange Line Franconia-Springfield 11:34 PM
Blue Line Largo Town Center 11:28 PM
Silver Line Largo Town Center 11:15 PM
Orange Line New Carrollton 11:17 PM
Orange Line Vienna/Fairfax-GMU 11:42 PM
Silver Line Wiehle-Reston East 11:27 PM


On After: Church Hall

Specials: 
$4 Narragansetts
$5 Truly Cocktails
$5 Sam Seasonal
$6 Nachos (Kitchen closes at 11 pm)

V. Command/Signal

Did you miss the last Twinkle Juice trail? Did you maybe just forget it because you drank too much? Either way, cum join us for the DECENNIAL of Halloween celebrations with Twinkle Juice. Dress up in your spooookiest outfit for a run through NOMA, and let us turn you into zombies with $3 beers and $4 fireball shooters at the on-after…after more Twinkle Juice and other shots than you can shake a spooky stick at.

Call off for Friday now.

Where: NOMA Galludet Metro – Follow Marks to Start

Hares: Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock, Colliteral Damage, Vladimir’s Fruitin’, Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack, and a special spooky Mystery Hare

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. 0% Shiggy, dog friendly trail but not on after. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly, BRING A HEADLAMP & mug! Be smart, have fun. Consider taking Friday off.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 4 miles long (about 2.5 miles first half and 1.5 mile second half). Walkers’ trail is 2.2 miles long (.6 first half and 1.6 second).

Last trains out of NOMA Gallaudet Metro:

Red Line Glenmont: 11:44 PM
Red Line Shady Grove: 11:26 PM

Song of the week:

Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock

What the hell was in that shot?  

Chocolate Milk and Everclear 

Should have stuck to drinking beer

Now I have to Twinkle Puke

Fuck your fucking Twinkle Juice

On After: Last Call
1301-A Fourth St., NE

Specials: $3 beers, $4 Fireball shooters, and possibly some kind of Beerback combo if we get enough people to show up. Neat!

Welcome to the Everyday is Wednesday edition of the World Peace Through Beer.  World Peace Through Beer is an annual event held on the closest hashing day to United Nations Day, Oct. 24. We are helping all beer-producing nations by encouraging production and consumption of beer, and helping various hash groups open their eyes to the variety of beers and flavours enjoyed by hashers everywhere.

That being said, the hares want to apologize in advance, as you will be served “good” non-shitty lite beer at beer check. But fear not, you’ll get your normal quality of beer at end circle! Also, this is your typical Haystack trail, if you are training for a marathon, we recommend that you do not use this trail as a training run!

Also, first 25 hashers to sign-in will get a World Peace Through Beer Patch

When: Thursday, Oct 24th, 6:45 circle up, Pack away 7:15!

Where: Ft. Totten Metro (Red/Green/Yellow Line) – follow marks to start located at Fort Circles Park

Hares: Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack, GingerSnatch, Orange is the New Snatch, Shamrock Your Cock

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Minimal PI It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 3-4 miles long (about 1-2 miles first half and 1-2 miles second half). Walkers’ trail usually is approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail.

Last trains out of [On-In Metro]:
Glenmont: 11:49PM
Shady Grove: 12:21PM

On After: San Antonio Bar and Grill, 3908 12th St NE, Washington, DC 20017

Specials: You’re mom is special

It’s October, that perfect time of year to celebrate the horrors, thrills, and chills of the cinema!  
From the shower scene in Psycho

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To Vera Farmiga just trying to get the ghoul up out her partner –  

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This Pretty Pretty Princess trail, don your best shout-out to your favorite Scream Queen!  Will it be Sally Hardesty?  Carly Jones? Selene?  Nya? 

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Or, on trail:
When: 6:45 PM Thursday October 17, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Tenleytown Metro (Red Line) – Follow marks to start!

Hares: Colliteral Damage, GeriatricMandering, Deathly Swallows, Rail Mary, All Flash No Drive, Rosetta Bone, Tacos On A Bridge

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A-Prime.

How far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 4.5 miles Walkers’ trail is about 1.7 miles.

Last trains out of Tenleytown (Red Line):
Glenmont 11:19 PM
Shady Grove 11:51 PM

On After: Tenley Bar & Grill (sorry – Guapos is having an event for a different group. WTF – someone told.)

Specials: We have the whole bottom floor and all night HH!


That’s right it’s that time of year again, when we give you TWO, yes TWO ways to drink while running.  We have Regular and Ultra this week, and as always our standard Lite (walkers).  You can choose to either show up at regular time at Minnesota Ave and follow marks to start.. or you can choose the beerier and runnier trail!  Get out to Capitol Heights by 5:30, and you get an epic Ballbusting 11+ mile hunt for FOUR beer checks! So chooseyourownadventure!  Either way, we’ll see you DC Eagle at the end.

Regular Trail When: 6:45 circle up, Pack away 7:15!
Ballbuster When: 5:30 circle up, Pack away 6:00 PM!

Regular Trail Where: Minnesota Ave (orange line)- follow marks to start!
Ballbuster Where: Capitol Heights (blue line) – follow marks to start!

Regular Hares: Wait Wait Don’t Fuck Me & several mystery hares!
Ballbuster Hares: All Flash No Drive, Special Head Kid, Goldman Ballsachs, By the Power of Gayskull, Quid Pro Blow

Miscellaneous Crap: Regular trail is A to A’ (same metro). Ballbuster trail is A to Z. There will be some shiggy on both trails. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp (it’s dark again people!) & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Regular Trail is 2 1/4 first half, and a little more than 2 on the second half.
Walkers is just a little over 1 mile each half.
Ballbuster true trail is 11.5 miles

Last trains out of Minnesota Ave:
Orange Line to New Carrollton:  11:57 PM
Orange Line to Vienna / Fairfax:  11:15 PM 

On After: DC Eagle

Specials: DC Eagle is a pretty special place