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Did you really enjoy dressing in that cat onesie or wizard robe? Think your toga or Halloween costume could use a new outing? Want to celebrate Christmas, St. Patrick’s Day, or other holiday? Choose your own theme this week by picking your favorite costume!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday May 24th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Rosslyn Metro (Dark Star Park) – follow marks to start!

Hares: GeriatricMandering, Head Injury, Colliteral Damage, Quid Pro Blow, and Happy Poo Year

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Shiggy light. Dog friendly. Not stroller friendly. It’s finally warm – buy some bug spray. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of:

Rosslyn:
Franconia-Springfield 11:47 PM
Largo Town Center 11:18 PM
New Carrollton 11:11 PM
Vienna/Fairfax-GMU 11:45 PM
Wiehle-Reston East 11:30 PM

Foggy Bottom – GWU
Franconia-Springfield 11:34 PM
Largo Town Center 11:21 PM
New Carrollton 11:14 PM
Vienna/Fairfax-GMU 11:42 PM
Wiehle-Reston East 11:27 PM

On After: Mr. Smith’s 3205 K St NW, Washington, DC 20007

Specials: $4 Stellas. Your singing voice for the piano bar.


For general questions on hashing, email us questions at [email protected].

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Have an awesome hat in the back of your closet you never get to wear? Grab your cowboy hats, derby hats, warrior helmets, antennae, or colanders and come wear them proudly in Best Hyattsville.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday May 17th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: West Hyattsville – follow marks to start!

Hares: Pooples Mountain Majesty, Megan’s Law, Kooter Kunte, When the Ball Drops, Special Head Kid

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Some shiggy and PI. You may want shiggy socks and dry shoes. Walkers trail is stroller and dog friendly. Runners trail is tough dogs only. . It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of West Hyattsville:
Towards Branch Avenue – 11:11 PM
Towards Green Belt – 12:05 AM

On After:
Lee’s
2903 Hamilton St.
Hyattsville, MD

Specials:
Karaoke! $3.50 domestic beer! $5.50 mixed drinks! Karaoke!


For general questions on hashing, email us questions at [email protected].

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We solemnly swear we are up to no good!

Were you picked last for the quidditch team due to your “potions” problem? Were you more into quaffing than quaffles? Is your ability to dash the Butterbeer Mile memorialized on the wall of The Leaky Cauldron? Has your firewhisky flask burned holes in all of your robes?

Have we got the trail for you! Your animagus-hares were too inebriated to recall all of the events in the TriWizard Tournament, so we made do with accio-ing a bunch of bottles out of the Room of Requirement and scattering beverages throughout the Land of Brooks. They have been charmed to look like quidditch supplies, because we are fucking wizards.

You’ll have to do without a Marauder’s Map, but there will be kindly spirits (BOOZE) about to help you on your way.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday May 10th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Brookland Metro, Red line – follow marks to start!

Hares: Blow Me Closer Tiny Dancer, Vaginal Countdown, Goldman Ballsachs, Rosetta Bone, Geriatric Mandering, Special Guest SNITCH.

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. There will be light PI in the Forbidden Forrest. It might be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp (LUMOS) & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Brookland:
Shady Grove- 10:50 PM
Glenmont – 11PM

On After:
San Antonio Bar and Grill
3908 12th St. NE

Specials:
You’re special. [TBD]

On-Mischief Managed-On!


For general questions on hashing, email us questions at [email protected].

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Cum Celebrate Our Birthdays!!!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday May 3rd, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Eastern Market Metro – follow marks to start!

Hares: Trim Shady, Uno Did Tres Liftoff, Deathly Swallows, & Please Step Away From The Whores.

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Dog-friendly, City Trail. It should a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Eastern Market or Navy Yard (Both are exactly 0.8 miles from the end Bar):
Navy Yard (Green Line)
Branch Ave11:48 PM
Greenbelt11:22 PM

Eastern Market
Franconia-Springfield 11:17 PM
Largo Town Center11:38 PM
New Carrollton11:48 PM
Vienna/Fairfax-GMU11:23 PM
Wiehle-Reston East11:10 PM

On After:
The Brig
1007 8th St. SE

Specials: You’re Special!


For general questions on hashing, email us questions at [email protected].

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Your hares invite you to run around and drink beer!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday April 26th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Van Ness Metro (Red Line) – follow marks to start!

Prelube: The hares will holding court at Acacia Food & Wine before trail. Its a block up the street at 4340 Connecticut Ave and it’s happy hour.

Hares: Put It Out, Blows A Tranny, Can’t Find Pussy In A Haystack, Generals Farm Animal, & Please Step Away From The Whores

Miscellaneous Stuff to Ponder: Trail is A to B. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Tenleytown:
We’re going to Guapos. You know you will be calling an Uber after the Metro has long since shut down for the night.

On After:
Guapos!
4515 Wisconsin Ave. NW

Specials:
You are special


For general questions on hashing, email us questions at [email protected].

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Thanks for subscribing to Cat Facts, the purr-fect medium for your Tour du Feline needs >o<

Cat Facts # 2 [Welcum]: In certain areas outside cats’ native range, they have contributed, along with habitat destruction and other factors, to the extinction of many bird species. Cats have been known to extirpate a bird species within specific regions and may have contributed to the extinction of isolated island populations. The “Crazy Cat Ladies and Gentleman Present: the Tour du Feline” will contribute to the extinction of many kegs of beer. Meee-ow!

Cat Facts # 2456 [When]: The earliest known feline-human association is supported by the discovery grave dating 9,500 years old. Tour du Feline is much younger – scheduled for April 19th at 6:45 PM – Pack away at 7:15!

Cat Facts #2478 [Where]: Cats are extremely adaptable and are now present on all continents except Antarctica, and on 118 of the 131 main groups of islands—even on isolated islands such as the Kerguelen Islands. Tour du Feline is extremely A-A’daptable and will begin and end in NoMa-Gaulladet (Red Line).

Cat Facts #2499 [Hares]: Cats are known for spending considerable amounts of time licking their coat to keep it clean. The cat’s tongue has backwards-facing spines about, called papillae, which act as a hairbrush. No need to groom your hares on this trail though! General Tso’s Dicken, L’Chymen, The Hyperpoop, GeriatricMandering, Poon-apple Juice, and Son What The Fuck?! all come pre-brushed.

Cat Facts # 83457 [Misc]: Cats have excellent night vision and can see at only one-sixth the light level required for human vision. If you want the same level of vision, you’d better dress smartly and bring a lamp (and a mug).

Cat Facts # 83478 [Misc]: Ailurophobia is a human phobia of cats; however, the term is often associated with humans that have a hatred of cats. We recommend that anyone suffering from this phobia stay far away from Tour du Feline. All others should do their best to embrace Kitty Kulture.

Cat Facts # 83483 [Last Trains]: According to a myth in many cultures, cats have multiple lives. In many countries, they are believed to have nine lives, but in Italy, Germany, Greece, Brazil and some Spanish-speaking regions, they are said to have seven lives, while in Turkish and Arabic traditions, the number of lives is six. That’s about as consistent as the metro, but this is when WMATA claims they will try to get you home:
Glenmont: 11:44 PM
Shady Grove: 11:26 PM

Cat Facts # 83492 [On-After]: Multiple males will be attracted to a female in heat. The males will fight over her, and the victor wins the right to mate. At first, the female rejects the male, but eventually the female allows the male to mate. The female utters a loud yowl as the male pulls out of her because a male cat’s penis has a band of about 120–150 backwards-pointing penile spines, which are about 1 mm long. We don’t care what you do after the on-after at Wunder Garten (1101 First Street NE), but please wait until you get home to do it.

Cat Facts # 83493 [Specials]: Domestic cat’s scent rubbing behaviour towards humans or other cats is thought to be a feline means for social bonding. Bond socially with your fellow cats as you consume pilsner, Goose IPA, cider, and mixed drinks…all of which are $1 off!


For general questions on hashing, email us questions at [email protected].

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Come on out and help start the weekend right off by helping us to celebrate DCH4’s 2000th run on Saturday and 40th Analversary!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday April 12th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Pentagon City Metro. Follow marks to Virginia Highlands Park, Corner of 15th Street S and S Hayes Street.

Pre-Lube: Chevy’s on S. Hayes Street.

Hares: Please Step Away from the Whores, Can’t find Pussy In a Haystack, Ass Spelunker, Deetz Nutz and maybe a mystery hare (if we can dig one out of the grave)

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Trail is nice and short for all the old timers so don’t expect a marathon training run. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Pentagon City Metro station:
You have a smart phone.

On After:
Champps!
1201 S Joyce St.
We have our own room in the back.

Specials:
You are all special!


For general questions on hashing, email us questions at [email protected].

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Together with their hares
Red Vag of Courage, I’m Tho Thor, Bless Me Father for I Have Rimmed, Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock, Dial-F, and Shamrock Your Cock

Turning Trixxx is for Kids
and
Hungry Hungry Homo

Cordially invite you to their White Dress Run

When: 6:45 PM Thursday April 5th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Georgia Ave-Petworth Metro – follow marks to start!

Hares: Red Vag of Courage, I’m Tho Thor, Bless Me Father for I Have Rimmed, Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock, Dial F, and Shamrock Your Cock

Miscellaneous Fun Stuff: Trail is A to B. Wear your prettiest WHITE DRESS so we can all pretend to be pure for one night. Little to no PI, trail is dog friendly but the end circle location is not. It should be a nice night. WEAR A WHITE DRESS, pack smartly, and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun, and say I do.

Last trains out of Columbia Heights Metro:
Branch Ave (GR): 11:21 pm
Greenbelt (GR): 11:55 pm
Huntington (YL): 11:12 pm

On After:
The Pinch
3548 14th St NW, Washington, DC

Specials:
$4 Raspberry Lemonades


For general questions on hashing, email us questions at [email protected].

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It’s time to flashback to those days of yore. Bust out those letter jackets, JNCOs (link for the children), wrestling uniform, or other memorabilia. You know you want to wear it outside the house.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday March 29th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Navy Yard (Green Line) Use the Ballpark exit and follow marks to start!

Hares: GeriatricMandering, Vaginal Countdown, Blow Me Closer Tiny Dancer, Special Head Kid, Amerigo Vesploogi, and Split Her Bare

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ Trail is shiggy-free, dog and stroller friendly, and not painful like Coach Connor’s track & field class. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Navy Yard-Ballpark:
Branch Ave: 11:48 PM
Greenbelt: 11:22 PM

On After:
The Big Stick
20 M St SE


For general questions on hashing, email us questions at [email protected].

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It’s time to terminate your sobriety and reflect on the 333th analversary of the birth of JS Bach. Hasta La Vista, Wanker.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday March 22nd, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Takoma Metro – follow marks to start!

Hares: Wait Wait, Don’t Fuck Me; George StuffedanOctopus; Special Head Kid; Tragic Carpet Ride; Poon-Apple Juice; Just Alan.

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Both trails are dog and stroller friendly, shiggy is at an all time low. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Takoma:

Check WMATA!

On After:
Republic
6939 Laurel Ave.
Takoma Park, MD 20912

Specials:
10pm Happy Hour ($4 mini beers, $8 specialty cocktails)