EWH3 #1095 The Anal Turkey Day Trail, Rosslyn Metro (Blue/Orange/Silver), SPECIAL START TIME OF 11AM!

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When: 11am November, 22nd 2018.

Where: Rosslyn Metro. Follow marks to start!

Hares: Please Step Away from the Whores, Purple Peter Eater, Ariola Boriales, and maybe a mystery hare or 2.

Welcome the the 11th? or 12th? annual Thanksgiving day Turkey Trail! This is not you normal trail. As put by the fairest member of your haring team, ” You won’t burn off the calories in a scoop of mashed potatoes and gravy!” This is a trail to celebrate and drink before having to deal with those really annoying muggle types you call family. Runner’s trail might, and I repeat might, break one mile. But then again, it might not. Walker’s trail is even shorter. So if you are looking to get a run in before stuffing yourself like that large native bird you bought, may I suggest you either run to trail, or just run on your own before coming to trail. There is no pre-lube to trail or on-after. The hares arrive kind of early to do our own pre-lube and you are more than welcome to join us, but no drinks will be provided until trail starts. In other words, BYOB pre-lube. And as usual, Shamrock has graced us with her awesome Turkey cookie snacks. So come hang with your real family on Turkey Day!

Metro runs all day so you won’t miss it.

No On-after. Go home and pass out from food coma!

Specials: You’re all special!

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EWH3 #1094: The Cock Family Presents, Sadie Cock-ins! – 6:45 PM Thursday, November 15th – Rhode Island Avenue Metro (Red Line)

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On November 15, 1937, the Li’l Abner daily comic strip defied tradition and embraced gender role-reversal when a female character, Sadie Hawkins, chased down and caught herself a man. It became an annual feature in the comic strip and a social movement in real life. Once a year, women could take the initiative by inviting the man of their choice out on a date—rare before 1937—typically to a dance attended by other bachelors and their assertive dates.

Who knows, maybe this is how your great grandparents started dating?

Now, 81 years later, the Cock Family would like to celebrate Sadie Cock-Ins hash style! Wear your jorts, jeggings, flannel underwear and plaid, ’cause we have a trail for you!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday November 15th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Rhode Island Metro (Red Line) – follow marks to start!

Hares: Representing the Cock Family: Chip off the Old Cock, CoXXX on Demand, Kindergarten Cock (if the little one allows), Schrodinger’s Cock, Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock, and Shamrock Your Cock

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Urban shiggy, dog friendly, . It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 4 miles long (about half on the first half and half on the second half). Walkers’ trail usually is approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail. To half or half not, that is the question.

Last trains out of Rhode Island Avenue Metro:
GLENMONT 11:46 PM
SHADY GROVE 11:24 PM

On After:
Dew Drop Inn
2801 8th St NE

Specials: Your great-grandmother thought your great-grandfather was special!

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EWH3 #1093: The 6900th Whoregon Corps Birthday Trail – 6:45 PM Thursday, November 8th – Smithsonian – Blue, Orange, & Silver Line

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I. Situation

243rd Birthday of the United States Marine Corps, 30th Birthday of Atari 6900 and 35th of Whoregon Trail

II. Mission

Drink and be merry in honor of our beloved Corps and Hashers

III. Execution

When: 6:45 PM Thursday November 8th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Smithsonian Station – follow marks to start to Department of Agriculture’s Garden

Hares: Atari 6900, Whoregon Trail, Sphincter Shy, Camo Sutra, Shart Sharts, Poon-Apple Juice

IV. Administration/Logistics

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. No known PI – no shiggy unless you want it. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring lumination & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 7.6 clicks (4.74 mi) long (about 2.47 mi for the first half and 2.27 mi for the second half). Walkers’ trail is usually approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail.

Last trains out of Potomac Ave Metro:
Franconia-Springfield 11:15 PM
Largo Town Center 11:40 PM
New Carrollton 11:50 PM
Vienna/Fairfax-GMU 11:21 PM
Wiehle-Reston East 11:08 PM

V. Command/Signal

On After:
Trusty’s
1420 Pennsylvania Ave SE

Specials: $1 off rails; $12 pitchers of Bud Lite

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EWH3 #1092: Twinkle and Friend’s 9th Annual Halloween Hash Bash! – 6:45 PM Thursday, November 1st – Foggy Bottom (Blue/Orange/Silver Line)

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It’s the most spookiest/sexiest/drunkiest time of the year! It’s Halloween! Get dressed up and join your hares for a short drunk trail through Foggy Bottom! As always there will be a stupid amount of Twinkle Juice and other fine alcohols, and a costume contest to boot! Hooray for Halloween!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday November 1st, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Foggy Bottom Metro – follow marks to start!

Hares: Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock, Maybe it’s Gaybelline, Cheech and Dong, All Flash No Drive, Texas Hold Him, and a special Mystery Walkers’ Hare!

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. There will be not much running and yes much booze. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 4.1 miles long (about [2.6 miles first half and 1.5 miles second half). Walkers’ trail usually is approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail.

Last trains out of Farragut West:
Blue Line to Franconia-Springfield: 11:32 PM
Blue/Silver Line Largo Town Center:11:23 PM
Orange Line to New Carrollton: 11:16 PM
Orange Line to Vienna/Fairfax-GMU: 11:40 PM
Silver Line to Wiehle-Reston East: 11:25 PM

On After:
Recessions!
3801, 1823 L St NW
Washington, DC 20036

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EWH3 #1091: The Graffiti Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, October 25th – Shaw/Howard Metro (Green Line)

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Welcome to the Graffiti trail on U Street! Now that it isn’t so hot that a white tee shirt turns into a wet tee shirt contest (not a bad thing, just impossible to write on), this is the annual Graffiti trail! What’s that mean? It means wear a white tee shirt that you don’t mind sacrificing for higher glory, and help decorate your friend’s shirts with the sharpie you’ll also bring (any color). So, wear a white tee shirt, bring a sharpie, think up your wittiest witticisms and write something smart! Or stupid! Or draw a pretty picture, we don’t care, just get drunk and let your sharpie go crazy.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday October 25th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Shaw / Howard University Metro – follow marks to start!

Hares: Special Head Kid, Seizure’s Phallus, Issues and Tissues, Trickle Down Sexonomics, Poonapple Juice, and Wait Wait Don’t Fuck Me

Miscellaneous Crap: Zero shiggy, water hazards, or PI. Trail is A to A’. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 4.4ish miles long (about 2 miles first half and 2.4 miles second half). Walkers’ trail is approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail on both halves.

Last trains out of Shaw:
Green Line to Branch Ave: 11:25 PM
Green Line to Greenbelt: 11:51 pm
Yellow Line to Huntington: 11:16 pm

On After:
Satellite Room
2047 9th St NW

Specials: So special.

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EWH3 #1090: The World Peace Through Beer v2018 Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, October 18th – Huntington Metro (Yellow Line)

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World Peace Through Beer is an annual event held by numerous kennels around the world on their closest hashing day to United Nations Day, Oct. 24. This year’s EWH3 edition is taking place this week, which is obviously not the closest hashing date for you know-it-alls. We are helping all beer-producing nations by encouraging production and consumption of beer as well as helping young hashers open their eyes to the variety of beers and flavors other than Kirkland Light enjoyed by hashers everywhere.

As a special treat there will be beers from around the World on trail and at end circle, plus other treats to be found on trail. Also, anyone who signs in this week will get their very own World Peace Through Beer patch, just for showing up.

TL;DR: Free crap just for showing up.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday October 18th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Huntington Metro Kiss and Ride (Southside towards North Kings Highway) – follow marks to start!

Hares: Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack, Please Step Away from the Whores, General Tso’s Dickens, and probably a mystery hare

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Runners BRING A FLASHLIGHT. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 3.5 miles long (about 2.69ish miles first half and 1.15ish miles second half). Walkers’ trail usually is approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail.

Last trains out of Huntington:
10:55 PM heading north / Last Station heading south

On After: Pilar’s Restaurant, 2249 Huntington Ave, Alexandria, VA 22303

Specials: Your mom is special… plus $4.75 Mexican style beers

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EWH3 #1089: The Return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, October 11th – Friendship Heights! (Red Line)

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It’s fall y’all and you know what that means: leggings, flannel, and Pumpkin Spice Lattes! So dust off those Uggs and join us for the second Anal #PSL Trail.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday October 11th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Friendship Heights Metro (Red Line) – follow marks to start!

Hares: Wait Wait Don’t Fuck Me, Poon-apple, Arithamadick, Tuck Tuck Deuce, and Why’s The Cum Gone

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. No PI. Walkers trail is stroller and dog friendly. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 4.25 miles long (about 2.25 miles first half and 2 miles second half). Walkers’ trail usually is approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail.

Last trains out of Bethesda:
Glenmont – 11:14 PM
Shady Grove – 11:56 PM

On After:
Caddies on Cordell!
4922 Cordell Ave.
Bethesda, MD

Specials: $12 pitchers, $18 buckets of beer

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EWH3 #1088: The Choose Your Own Adventure: Ball Buster and White Dress at Red Dress Trail! – Thursday, October 4th – Tenleytown (Red Line) 6:45 PM; and Courthouse (Orange/Silver) 5:30 PM

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As is tradition on this high holy weekend of hashing, Edub will be providing two trails for your to choose your own adventure! If you want your extra miles, join All Flash and her hares out at Courthouse, and wind your way back up to Tenleytown, where the pack will reunite for circle!

OR!

Meet up at Tenleytown metro for White Dress at Red Dress! Two of your Red Dress planners are getting married in a week! Come out and play to celebrate ICHY and Penis Fly Trap’s impending nuptials with Colliteral Damage and friends!

Regular Trail:

When: 6:45 PM Thursday October 4th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Tenleytown Metro (Red Line) – follow marks to start!

Hares: Colliteral Damage, CockWhisperer, Wookin Pa Nub, Hell’s Anal, Tomb Raper, and Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Runners’ trail is dog friendly, possible PI, but not super likely. Not stroller friendly. Walkers’ trail is dog and stroller friendly. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 4 miles long (about 2.5 miles first half and 1.5 miles second half). Walkers’ trail usually is approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail.

Ballbuster Trail

When: 5:30 PM Thursday October 4th, 2018. Pack away at 6:00 PM SHARP!

Where: Courthouse Metro Station (Orange Line), Clarendon Boulevard exit – follow marks to start! We’ll be in between Corner Bakery and CalTor!

Hares: All Flash No Drive, Blows a Tranny, Wait Wait Don’t Fuck Me, Special Head Kid, Mambo # Hives, Fire in the Hole

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to Z^2. Mix of road and trail. Shiggy level of 2 (mud is your biggest danger). BRING A HEADLAMP. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly — bags and beverages will be in a tiny vehicle, not a van. Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Trail will be 10+ miles. There will be 3 short beer checks.

Last trains out of Tenleytown:
It is RDR Weekend. You think you will be catching the Metro?

On After:
Guapo’s
4515 Wisconsin Ave. NW

Specials:
You’re special! TBD!

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EWH3 #1087: The Please Fall, Show Up Already Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, September 27th – Braddock Road (Blue and Yellow lines)

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Your hares are ready for summer to be over.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday September 27th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Braddock Road Metro (Blue and Yellow Lines)- follow marks to start!

Hares: Too Easy, Fish and Tits, Camo Sutra, Blows a Tranny, and Knocked Up

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. No PI, Puppy and stroller friendly! It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 4.5 miles long (about 2.75 miles first half and 1.5 miles second half). Walkers’ trail usually is approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail.

Last trains out of Braddock Road:
You have a smart phone. You’ll be calling an Uber anyway.

On After:
Lena’s Pizza
401 E. Braddock Road
Alexandria, VA

Specials: $10 pizzas.

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EWH3 #1086: The Spooky Boozy Almost Octoboo-er Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, September 20th – Eastern Market (Blue/Orange/Silver Line)

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Do you consider yourself an Oktwhoreber? Does the thought of pumpkins make you want to run Amok Amok Amok Amok? Join the Boozy Whore-or Ladies as we stumble through the Hill looking for sexy ghosts and booze. Make no (Rosetta) Bones about it; this trail will be a Deathly (Swallows) good time!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday September 20th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Eastern Market Metro Station – follow marks to start!

Hares: GeriatricMandering; Colliteral Damage; Cheech and Dong; Son, What the Fuck; Vaginal Countdown; Rosetta Bone; Deathly Swallows; and Rail Mary

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Dog Friendly. It should be a nice, Fall night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart and have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 3.9 miles long (about 1.9 miles first half and 2 miles second half). Walkers’ trail is approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail.

Last trains out of Potomac Ave:
Franconia-Springfield 11:15 PM
Largo Town Center 11:40 PM
New Carrollton 11:50 PM
Vienna/Fairfax-GMU 11:21 PM
Wiehle-Reston East 11:08 PM

On After:
Trusty’s
1420 Pennsylvania Ave SE
Washington, DC 20003

Specials: $12 Bud Light pitchers and Happy Hour priced well drinks.

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