New Year’s was almost a month ago and just staying home is getting, well, dull. Luckily, your hares have a tropical-themed festival trail to keep you warm on what is, statistically, D.C.’s coldest day of the year. Some people call your hares the Big Kahunas of Hashing. Some people call D.C. the Honolulu of the Mid-Atlantic. Some people say, screw it, I want a drink with a tiny umbrella and a fruit salad on top! Dig out your coconut bra, grass skirt, ukulele, longboard, can o’ SPAM, and pineapple – still no tiki torches, please – for a fun night straight out of Paul Gauguin’s fever dreams!

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If you’re too young to know who this is, I’mma tell you it’s Paul Gauguin.

Sign up here!: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1332

When: 6:45 circle up, Pack away 7:15!

Where: Foggy Bottom Metro – follow marks to start in Washington Circle!

Hares: Pinocchi-Ho, Vagina is for Lawyers, Tie Me Up Before You Go-Go, Cock Whisperer, Just Colby, and Ready Player None

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp (again, no tiki torches!) & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 4.6 miles long (about 2.1 miles first half and 2.5 miles second half). Walkers’ trail is roughly half that (1mi and 1.3mi).

Last trains out of Foggy Bottom:

Ashburn – 12:01 AM

Largo – 12:00 AM

Franconia – 12:03 AM

Huntington – 12:07 AM

New Carrollton – 11:54 PM
Vienna/FFX-GMU – 12:09 AM

On After: The Tombs, 1226 36th St NW

Specials:  $15 Shock Top pitchers after 10pm 
__________________________________

Welcum one and all to the latest and greatest 2023 Everyday is Wednesday Mismanagement? We’re here to show you wankers how it’s done and kick off this year right with a trail hared by the shining new faces of this year’s misman. We have a van full of beer, songs in our hearts, and nothing to lose so cum out to trail and see the spectacle yourselves!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO (https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1331). We will begin allowing cash collection as of next week. Thank you for your patience as we (new MM) get settled.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, January 19th, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Shaw/Howard Metro – 7th Street Entrance

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 7th & S St NW

Hares: Burlington Ho Factory, This Little Piggy Goes to Ballsack, Tie Me Up Before You Go-Go, and Head Injury

Trail Details: 
– Runners: 2.12 mi. first half / 2.02 mi. second half
– Walkers: 1.10 mi. first half / 1.04 mi. second half
– Shiggy: 0.69

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (0.4 miles to metro)]. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be smart, have fun. 

End Metro: Georgia Ave-Petworth
Last Trains Out:
– Branch Ave (Green): 11:43 PM
– Greenbelt (Green): 12:26 AM

On After*: The Midlands Beer Garden
Specials: You’re Special
*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Upcoming Events & Announcements!
Save the date for WIE! Weekend of March 31, 2023.


***********

Your 2022 misman team started the year with a half ass “AGM” on a cold omicron filled night under a bridge with mediocre shots and lukewarm taco bell. After that, did you actually expect a calendar full of trails and beer this year? We had a few hashes, mostly in the same five places, and we sometimes had brew crew. We are all looking forward to what the new misman wankers have in store for you in 2023 – please help them and the hash out by signing up now for your choice of 2023 hare and brew crew dates:

Join your 2022 misman this Thursday for one last brisk jaunt around Brookland. And signup for this Saturday’s AGM you f*&king fuc%s (see link in announcements below).

(Who gave me the ability to post announcements and not expect at total trainwreck?!?

Lickthyologist on out as Harerazor.)

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO (link).

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, January 12, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Brookland/CUA – Follow marks to start under Michigan Ave bridge

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 10th & Monroe St NE

Hares: Assorted mismanaging wankers who may include but may not be limited to Lickthyologist, Cum Dumpling, Head Injury, and Red Roper

Trail Details:
– Runners: 3.5 miles

– Walkers: 1.9 miles

– Shiggy: 1.69 


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A.Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Brookland/CUA (Red)

Last Trains Out:

Glenmont 12:19 AM

Shady Grove 11:51 PM

On After*: Brookland Pint. If you plan to come to the On After, note that indoor venues may choose to keep vaccine and mask requirements in place. 

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Upcoming Events & Announcements!

  • EWH3 2023 AGM is January 14, 2023 – rego here!
  • Save the date for WIE! Weekend of March 31, 2023.

STAY SAFE! Review Everyday is Wednesday’s updated COVID-19 guide here before joining us on trail.

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!

Wankers!

Our Anal General Meeting is just one week away and your committee has some exciting updates for you.

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Due to a New World Order, there has been a venue change. We will now gather at Astro Beer Hall in Metro Center. Your rego still includes two+ hours of open bar and snacks. This new venue will allow for bottomless gluten-free options for all!

Now is the time to place your nominations for EWH3 Superlatives. Use the Google Form here to submit your nominations by Thursday at 11:59 PM. The final winners will be chosen through a vote by AGM attendees. You will receive a voting link at sign-in.

Schedule:

8:30 PM – Doors Open

9:00 PM – Open Bar Begins

9:15 PM – Voting for Superlative Closes

9:30 PM – Circle

11:00 PM – Last Call for Open Bar

11:30 PM – Final Bell

Bring your A-game, a credit card for additional food or shots, and cash to tip the bartenders. You will need an ID. No nudity will be permitted at this event.

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Online regos close on Thursday, January 12 at 11:59 PM. After this, day-of regos will be available at the door for $42. Don’t delay, Rego now!

On – OH MY GOD IS THAT TURD KIND WITH A STEEL CHAIR?! – On
AGM Committee 


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The holidays are over and you’re still full from eating nothing but cheese for a week, but your hares are here to ease you into 2023 whether with a short run or bundle down in blankets. Make sure to bring your onesies, snuggies, and blankets.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO (link).

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, January 5, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Union Station – Meet in front by the bell

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Columbus Circle across from the Thurgood Marshall Building

Hares: GeriatricMandering, Colliteral Damage, Bless Me Father for I Have Rimmed, & Split Her Bare

Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.5 mi. first half / 2 mi. second half

– Walkers: .7 first half / .9 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (1 block to metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Union Station

Last Trains Out:

– Glenmont (Red): 12:12 am

– Shady Grove (Red): 11:58 pm

On After*: Union Pub. If you plan to come to the On After, note that indoor venues may choose to keep vaccine and mask requirements in place. There are indoor and outdoor options.

Specials: Pitcher specials

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Upcoming Events & Announcements!

  • EWH3 2023 AGM is January 14, 2023 – rego here!
  • Save the date for WIE! Weekend of March 31, 2023.

Give Back to the Hash!  

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!

***********

It’s been a long year, so let’s gather for a short trail. 

Note: Due to the holiday, this is NOT a standard trail. Similar to Thanksgiving, you’ll be lucky to burn off a glass of champagne. You MUST bring your ID. Cash is highly recommended if you’d like a different drink at beer check or to tip your bartenders. There will be NO bag van OR runners option (you can always run to start).

Bring your A-game as we celebrate the resolutions that have cum and gone. Didn’t meet yours? No worries, we’ll have plenty of opportunities to cash in before the new year. 

A guide to achieving some of the Top 50 New Year’s Resolutions:

– PR the hash – This walkers-route only trail is less than a mile long. A brisk power walk will help you meet this super attainable goal.

– Be more generous – Don’t be a Scrooge! Buy a shot for one of the hares at our bar-based beer checks. 

– Support more local businesses –  Over-tip your bar staff (the ones who really keep this city moving)!

– Volunteer more/Give back to the community – Everyday is Wednesday needs more martyrs like yourself. Sign up to hare or brew crew while you rego. 

– Lose weight – Oh, hush! You’re beautiful just the way you are!

– Quit smoking – We’ll be inside for most of this trail, so no smoking allowed!

– Save more money – As a gift for joining us, your hares are providing two beers and free popcorn! Take that extra moolah and rego for AGM!

– Be more outgoing – There will be plenty of opportunities for violations. Step out of your comfort zone and speak up!

– Unplug from social media – Hey, no tech on trail. 

– Stop Procrastinating – Rego right now!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO (link).

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, December 29, 2022. Pack away at 7:00 PM!

Where: Gallery Place/Chinatown – Circle Up at Pre-Lube at Bulldog Pizza – 713 H St NW

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 8th & H NW

Hares: Poon-apple Juice, Burlington Ho Factory, Dry Rub

Trail Details: Walkers Option ONLY: The entire trail is 0.3 miles.

Shiggy Level: Zero. This is a glorified miniature pub crawl. 


Miscellaneous Crap: Miscellaneous Crap:  Trail is, for all intents and purposes A to A and is a non-traditional trail. Bring your ID, money for beer check(s), and (just the) tip! Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be smart, have fun.

Schedule of Events:

6:00 – Pre-Lube at Bulldog Pizza

6:45 – Circle Up at Bulldog Pizza

7:00 – On Out!

7:05 – Choose-your-own-adventure Beer Check (ID required) – One hash sponsored beer will be provided! Bring an ID for any other buy-your-own drinks. Happy hour until 8:00 means specials and free popcorn for all!

7:40 – On out to second choose-your-own-adventure Beer Check (ID required), with one hash sponsored beer provided! Second beer check has a happy hour that ends at 8:00 SHARP, so move fast to get those $4 drinks.

8:30 – On out to in-bar “end circle.” We will provide beer for down-downs, but you are responsible for the rest of your beverages this evening.

** You MUST rego 24 hours before the event to guarantee you are included in the glutard count. Please be considerate and only select this option if you have a true gluten allergy.

Last trains out of Union Station (Red Line):

– Branch Ave: 11:53 PM

– Glenmont: 12:08 AM

– Greenbelt: 12:16 AM

– Shady Grove: 12:02 AM

On-After: 618 Cocktail and Whiskey Lounge

Upcoming Events & Announcements!

  • EWH3 2023 AGM is January 14, 2023 – rego here!
  • Save the date for WIE! Weekend of March 31, 2023.

Give Back to the Hash!  

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!


‘Twas the nightmare before Christmas, when all through the Capitol City

The hashers were awaiting, to get litty tittie;

The shiggy socks were worn by the wankers with care,

In hopes that St. Nickthyologist and friends soon would be there,

The hashers were nestled all snug in each other’s beds,

While visions of special Christmas shots danced in their (who said) heads

And the hares in their Snuggies, and I hoping we actually have a trail map,

Had just settled down for a long winter’s night cap,

Because your alpha hare has been traveling to the poles & everywhere in between

She missed her other favorite holiday which happens to be Halloween

So, join us for this trail that will be a nightmare before Christmas

Come as a Sandy Claws or a ghost and let’s get down to some holiday fun business!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO (link).

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, December 22, 2022. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Smithsonian Metro, Orange/Silver/Blue line

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Smithsonian-National Mall/ Jefferson Dr & 12th St SW

Hares: Lickthyologist, Geriatric Mandering, Roll Over Biatch, Sexually Anxious Disease, magical mystery hares

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2 mi. first half / 2 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1 mi. first half / 1 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to Z. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Farragut North (Red)

Last Trains Out:

Glenmont 12:02 AM

Shady Grove 12:08 AM

On After*: Recessions. If you plan to come to the On After, note that indoor venues may choose to keep vaccine and mask requirements in place. 

Specials: The holidays are special.

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Upcoming Events & Announcements!

  • EWH3 2023 AGM is January 14, 2023 – rego here!
  • Save the date for WIE! Weekend of March 31, 2023.

Give Back to the Hash!  

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!


***********

On August 31, 2021, a dazzle of zebras liberated themselves from an Upper Marlboro farm to romp around the wilds of Maryland. On December 14, the zebras were captured. However, this week, we will honor their legacy!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO (link).

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, December 15, 2022. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: NoMa Metro – FL Ave Exit

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 1st & M St NE

Hares: GeriatricMandering, Quid Pro Blow, Son, What th Fuck, Special Red, and This Little Piggy Went to the Ballsack

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.1 mi. first half / 2 mi. second half

– Walkers: .9 first half / .9 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69 


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. (.8  miles to metro)]. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Union Station

Last Trains Out:

– Glenmont (Red): 12:12 AM

– Shady Grove (Red): 11:58 PM

On After*: Kelly’s Irish Times If you plan to come to the On After, note that indoor venues may choose to keep vaccine and mask requirements in place. 

Specials: $5 Bud Lights, Yuenglings, House Wines, or Ciders.

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Upcoming Events & Announcements!

  • EWH3 2023 AGM is January 14, 2023 – rego here!
  • Save the date for WIE! Weekend of March 31, 2023.

Give Back to the Hash!  

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!


***********

Did you know that male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, but female reindeer don’t? So that ugly sweater you have of humping reindeer is a whole lot kinkier than you thought. And Thursday is your chance to wear it! That’s right, for the eighth year in a row, we are giving you the chance to wear your tackiest, ugliest, or most hideous holiday sweater on a winter wonderland romp!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO (link).

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, December 8th, 2022. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Eastern Market Metro (Blue/Orange/Silver Line).

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Pennsylvania Ave SE & 8th St SE.

Hares: Head Injury, Just Kayla, & Mystery Hares

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.1 mi. first half / 2.1mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.1 mi first half / 1.1 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69. Everyone loves alleys!!


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be smart, have fun!

End Metro: Capitol South (Blue/Orange/Silver Line)

Last Trains Out:

Blue Line to New Carrollton: 12:05am

Blue Line to Largo Town Center: 12:14am

Blue Line to Huntington: 11:51pm

Silver Line to Ashburn: 11:45pm

Silver Line to Largo Town Center: 11:51pm

Orange Line to New Carrollton: 11:56pm

Orange Line to Vienna: 11:53pm

On After*: Walter’s Sports Bar

      10 N St SE

      Washington, DC 20003

If you plan to come to the On After, note that indoor venues may choose to keep vaccine and mask requirements in place. 

Specials: You are special.

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Upcoming Events & Announcements!

  • EWH3 2023 AGM is January 14, 2023 – rego coming soon!
  • Save the date for WIE! Weekend of March 31, 2023. 

Give Back to the Hash!  

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!

***********

Gather your Wieners and your Cockers for a Thursday night romp! This trail is a bone-afide good time, with Doodles of fun along the way. 

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO (link).

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, December 1, 2022. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Woodley Park/Zoo Metro – across from Chipotle

Nearest Capital Bike Share: directly at start on Calvert & Connecticut NW

Hares: Turd Eye Blind, Just Cocoa, Milkbone #Hives, Screaming Puppy, and Son What the Fluff?!

Trail Details:

– Walkers: .8 mi. / .6 mi.

– Runners: 1.4  / 1.1 mi.

– Shiggy: 0.69

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Bring your own vessel, a cranium lamp, and water. If you’re bringing a 4-legged bestie, bring their necessities – there’s likely water bowls at end but not guaranteed.

–>Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be smart, have fun.


End Metro: Woodley Park/Zoo (Red)

Last Trains Out: Glenmont: 11:57 PM / Shady Grove: 12:13 AM

On After*: Johnny Pistolas. If you plan to come to the On After, note that indoor venues may choose to keep vaccine and mask requirements in place. 

There is an outdoor patio for the pups.

Specials: Your dog is the goodest dog! (All day yappy hour)

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best human judgment to decide about your participation.

Upcoming Events & Announcements!

  • Want to give back to the hash in a big way? Think you can run things better than the current batch of wankers?  Curious about how the hash functions behind the scenes? Want to know a bit more about what you can do? Check out the list of Mismanagement positions here. Please email the GMs if you are interested in a 2023 mismanagement position: EWH3GMs@gmail.com
  • New hab pre-order item available! 

Want to rep Hashington DC anywhere you go? Hoodies and crewneck sweatshirts (in a variety of colors) are available for pre-order until November 29. 

A limited number will be ordered in addition, so this is the only way to guarantee the perfect color and size combo! Order yours now!

  • Save the date for WIE! Weekend of March 31, 2023. 

Give Back to the Hash!  

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!