EWH3 #1199 – International Talk Like A Pirate Day trail! (Phase Three) – Potomac Ave (Blue/Orange/Silver)

As we navigate hashing during this time, please take a moment to review Everyday is Wednesday’s updated COVID-19 guide here.

For informative, local, and specific information about COVID-19: https://coronavirus.dc.gov/

For information about where to get tested: https://coronavirus.dc.gov/testing

If you test positive for COVID-19, please provide the following information to contact tracers and contact the GMs immediately: Alberto – (202) 556-3695 

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YAAARRR!! September 19th be International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and we be honorin’ it wit’ a trail fit for you scalliwags, landlubbers, and se(a)men! Come for an evenin’ of socially distant sea shanties while antagonizing the maritime waters of DC! 

Captain Turd Kind beached his boat and he needs your help! Find the parts he needs to repair his ship and you will be rewarded! There might even be trail treasure! Get ready to sail the Anacostia, take on our pirate rivals, and plunder the land! Beware the Navy and the Coast Guard, they’re out to stop this debaucherous pleasure cruise and will make you swab the poop deck if you’re not careful!

Whether ye be lookin’ for treasure or just some booty, this trail will be packed with fun! 

Hash-Appropriate Sea Shanties

DRUNKEN HASHER (sung to the tune of Drunken Sailor)

Verse:

What shall we do with a drunken hasher

What shall we do with a drunken hasher 

What shall we do with a drunken hasher

Earl-aye in the evening

Chorus:

Way, hay, the BAC it rises

Way, hay, the BAC it rises

Way, hay, the BAC it rises

Earl-aye in the evening!

Other Verses:

Put ’em in the circle and violate them (x3)…

Shave their junk with a rusty razor (x3)…

Put ’em in the beer van til their sober (x3)…

DRINK (by Alestorm)

Verse 1:

Piracy’s a crime and crime doesn’t pay, and we go home poor at the end of the day
But I’d rather live my life in rags than be chained to a desk with a wife as a hag
We live each day like there’s nothing to lose, but a man has needs and the need is booze
They say all the best things in life are free so give all your beer and your rum to me!  

Chorus (x2):

We are here to drink your beer
And steal your rum at a point of a gun
Your alcohol to us will fall
‘Cause we are here to drink your beer 

DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!

You MUST sign up on HashRego for trail credit. A pack of 35 will gather for trail with a live, socially distant circle.

When: Thursday, September 17 – Circle up at 6:45pm; on-out at 7:15pm SHARP!

Where:  Pirate Ship Playground at Anacostia Park (closest metro is Potomac Ave.)

Capital Bikeshare stations nearby here.

D’Erections:  From the Potomac Ave. station, follow the southeast-bound side of Pennsylvania Ave over the John Phillip Sousa Bridge into Anacostia. At the end of the bridge, follow the footpath to the right and down the hill. (If you walk along the northwest-bound side, it will be a longer walk to start.)

Hares: Captain Close Encounters of the Turd Kind and First Mate 9021Ho

Trail Length: 

Runners:  5.0 miles (2.4 first half, 2.6 second half)

Walkers: 2.2 miles (0.9 first half, 1.3 second half)

Miscellaneous Crap:  Trail is A to A. Minor shiggy for r*nners (1.69/5), shin-high grass for walkers. Don’t bring your stroller, but tough dogs might be okay.  Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be safe, stay distant, bring bug spray & a cranium lamp, wash your hands. Mask and vessel required.

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EWH3 #1198 – Let Them Eat Cake! (Phase Three) – Georgetown (Rosslyn metro: Blue/Silver/Orange)

As we navigate hashing during this time, please take a moment to review Everyday is Wednesday’s updated COVID-19 guide here.

For informative, local, and specific information about COVID-19: https://coronavirus.dc.gov/

For information about where to get tested: https://coronavirus.dc.gov/testing

If you test positive for COVID-19, please provide the following information to contact tracers and contact the GMs immediately: Quid Pro Blow – (202) 556-3695  

***

Half birthdays are so last year. Let’s celebrate the full Monty in style in the best way we know… 

Join your hares 21 Gum Salute and Bitches Give Stitches on a trail that is, at best, half-baked. They’ll bring the flour, you bring the icing. 

You MUST sign up on HashRego for trail credit. A pack of 35 will gather for trail with a live, socially distant circle.

When: Thursday, September 10 – Circle up at 6:45pm; on-out at 7:00pm

Where:  Under Key Bridge

D’Erections:  3500 Water St NW, Washington, DC 20007 — closest Metro is Rosslyn across Key bridge – follow marks to start! Capital bike share docking station very close to start at 34th & Water St NW, Washington, DC 20007

Hares: Bitches Give Stiches & 21 Gum Salute

Trail Length: 

Runners First half 2 miles / Second half 1.7 miles

Walkers first half 1.3 miles / Second half 1.3 mile

Miscellaneous Crap:  Trail is A to A, mostly pavement pounding with stairs for everyone and a few water crossings for runners to make it interesting. Don’t bring your stroller, but tough dogs might be okay.  Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be safe, stay distant, bring bug spray & a some candles (or a cranium lamp), wash your hands and bring some dry shoes. Mask and vessel required.

Brew Crew! 

Brew Crew will be available to serve you a limited amount of libations at both beer check and end. In order to ensure that this is done in a safe manner, we require the following:

  • Hand sanitizer will be provided. Please sanitize your hands before approaching the Brew Crew station. 
  • Brew Crew is required to wear a mask at all times. You must also wear a mask when interacting with them. 
  • Trails will be cans-only. Brew Crew will only purchase enough cans for rego’d hashers, so be sure to sign up! 
  • You must pour your beer into a vessel before leaving the crew station. 
  • Bottled water will also be provided – stay hydrated!
  • Do not reach for a beer! Brew Crew will hand your beer to you by placing it down on a table bench. 
  • There will be no bag van or snacks provided… YET. Stay tuned as we work on ways to re-introduce these aspects safely. 
  • Remember that your Crew has volunteered out of the goodness of their heart. They are offering their time, vehicle, and exposure to make you happy. Show them the respect they deserve!
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EWH3 #1197 – The Half-Assed Half-Birthday Trail (Phase Three) – Brookland/CUA (Red)

It’s Ginger’s half birthday next week, so he pulled a trail out of his…kitchen to celebrate (as opposed to his typically intricate, well-thought out ideas)! Cum frolic on the idyllic campus of Catholic and sing Ginger the first half of “Hashy Birthday”.

You MUST sign up on HashRego for trail credit. A pack of 35 will gather for trail with a live, socially distant circle.

When: Circle up at 6:45pm; on-out at 7:00pm

Where:  Brookland/CUA – (start under Michigan Ave overpass near the corner of 10th St & Bunker Hill Road NE)

D’Erections:  Exit right toward the bus stops/Kiss & Ride, and follow marks to start!

Hares: Ginger Snatch & 21 Gum Salute

Trail Length: 

Runners First half 2.7 / Second half .8 miles

Walkers first half 1.4 / Second half .4 mile

Stroller & dog friendly

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A pavement pounder. Sign up on Hash Rego is Required!  Be safe, stay distant, bring bug spray & a cranium lamp, wash your hands! Mask & vessel required!

Brew Crew! 

Brew Crew will be available to serve you a limited amount of libations at both beer check and end. In order to ensure that this is done in a safe manner, we require the following:

  • Hand sanitizer will be provided. Please sanitize your hands before approaching the Brew Crew station. 
  • Brew Crew is required to wear a mask at all times. You must also wear a mask when interacting with them. 
  • Trails will be cans-only. Brew Crew will only purchase enough cans for rego’d hashers, so be sure to sign up! 
  • You must pour your beer into a vessel before leaving the crew station. 
  • Bottled water will also be provided – stay hydrated!
  • Do not reach for a beer! Brew Crew will hand your beer to you by placing it down on a table bench. 
  • There will be no bag van or snacks provided… YET. Stay tuned as we work on ways to re-introduce these aspects safely. 
  • Remember that your Crew has volunteered out of the goodness of their heart. They are offering their time, vehicle, and exposure to make you happy. Show them the respect they deserve!
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EWH3 #1196 – The Back to Skool Trail (Phase Three) – Georgia Ave/Petworth (Green/Yellow)

The summer is over and students and teachers all over the district are feeling blue. Let’s cheer up with a trail and this awesome SONG! Extra credit to any hashers who learn a new song in time for end circle or maybe this one?

Meet the Hashers (Melody: The Flintstones)

Hashers, Meet the Hashers,
We’re the biggest drunks in history.

From the, town of DC,
We’re the leaders in debauchery.

Halfminds, trailing shiggy through the years.
Watch them as they down a lot of beer…

Down down
Down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down,
Down down down down down
Down down down down down doooown!

You MUST sign up on HashRego for trail credit. A pack of 35 will gather for trail with a live, socially distant circle.

When: Circle up at 6:45pm; on-out at 7:00pm

Where:  Georgia Ave/Petworth – (start here)

D’Erections:  Follow marks to start!

Hares: s/Kooter Kunte & 9021-ho

Trail Length: 

Runners First half 1.4 / Second half 1.5 miles

Walkers first half .9 / Second half 1 mile

Stroller & dog friendly

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A, with beer! Sign up on Hash Rego is Required!  Very little shiggy other than the urban kind so, 0.69 Bug spray and extra water is never a bad idea. It’s going to be super hot out. Just like that teacher that made you blush back in the day. Be safe, stay distant, bring bug spray, wash your hands! Mask & vessel required!

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EWH3 #1195 – The Capitol Cajones Trail (Phase Three) – Van Ness/UDC (Red)

Welcome back to another Thursday of (masked) debauchery!

You MUST sign up on HashRego for trail credit. A pack of 35 will gather for trail with a live, socially distant circle.

When: Circle up at 6:45pm; on-out at 7:00pm

Where:  Van Ness/UDC (start here)

D’Erections:  From the Van Ness/UDC Metro, walk up Connecticut Ave, take a left on Yuma St, and go to the TOP of the garage.

Hares: Papal Smear & Special Red

Trail Length: 

Runners First half 2.0 / Second half 1.8 miles

Walkers first half 1.6 / Second half 1.5 miles

 *Has shiggy & not stroller friendly (but tough dog friendly)!

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A, with beer! Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be safe, stay distant, bring BUG SPRAY, wash your hands! Mask & vessel required!

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EWH3 #1194 – The Third Anal Itsy- Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini Trail!! (Phase Three) – Capitol South/Navy Yard (Blue/Orange/Silver or Green)

It’s hot, it’s humid, it’s summer in DC. Whether you prefer BREASTstroke, Doggie (style) Paddle, or just hanging by the edge, prepare to get Wet and Wild.

For the third year in a row we’ll have itsy-bitsy attire and maybe some teenie-weenies. Cum dressed to impress in your bikinis, speedos, mankinis and tankinis. 

You MUST sign up on HashRego for trail credit. A pack of 35 will gather for trail with a live, socially distant circle.

When: Circle up at 6:45pm; on-out at 7:00pm

Where: Under 695 at the $10 parking . Circle up closer to South Cap.

D’Erections: You’ll find it. Nearest Capital Bikeshare Station is at Eye & First Streets SE. 

Hares: 21 Gum Salute & Poon-Apple Juice

Trail Length: 

Runners 3.75miles / Walkers 2miles

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A, with beer! Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be safe, stay distant, bring BUG SPRAY, wash your hands! Mask & vessel required!

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EWH3 #1193 – The 4th Anal Face/Off Trail (Phase Three) – Mt Vernon (Yellow/Green) & NoMA (Red)

Cum join Schrödinger’s Cock as he attempts to thwart the gods of aging by dressing as another hasher’s name. Like Nicholas Cage (or John Travolta? Still not sure…), it’s time for a face… off!

Need some inspiration? Check out some of last year’s guests of honor, including…

Stain Gretzky

Goldman Ballsachs

The Cumburglar! and Poon-apple Juice

Texas Hold Him

Texas Hold Him

You MUST sign up on HashRego for trail credit. A pack of 35 will gather for trail with a live, socially distant circle.

When: Circle up at 6:45pm; on-out at 7:00pm

Where: Across L St from the Walker-Jones Educational Campus

D’Erections:

  • From Mt Vernon Square Metro: Walk East along M street, turn South down NJ Ave, turn East on L St NW, parking lot to the South
  • From Noma/Gallaudet Metro: Walk West along M, continuing along NY Ave, turn South down 1st St NW, turn East down L St NW, parking lot to the South
  • Capital Bike Share (4th St NW & K St NW): Walk East along K, turn North up NJ Ave, Turn East down L St NW, parking lot to the South

Hares:  Schrödinger’s Cock & 21 Gum Salute

Trail Length: Runners: 3 miles / Walkers: 1.22 miles

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A, with beer! Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be safe, stay distant, bring BUG SPRAY, wash your hands! Mask & vessel required!

Big Announcements!

1. August Full Moon Trail – EWH3

Iso-Trail (No rego or sign up). Please space yourself apart and be safe.

When: Saturday August 8th, live after 10:30am. 

Where: Start is located at 5539 Mt Pleasant St NW

Hares: Deetz Nutz, 21 Gum Salute

Trail Length: Runners – 4.1 mi / Walkers – 2 mi

Shiggy Level: Runners – 4 out of 6.9, Walkers – 0.69 out of 6.9

Misc: Trail is A to A with optional BYOBeer Check.  Walker trail is dog friendly.  Runners trail is dog friendly for adventurous dogs only.  Water crossing on Runners trail (knee deep).  One BVC crossing on Runners.  If you choose to run/walk trail at night, please take an Accountabil-a-buddy.

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EWH3 #1192 – The 2nd Anal International Beer Day Eve(ish) (Phase Three) – Fort Totten (Red/Yellow/Green)

Friday, August 7 is International Beer Day! Get a h*ad start on this sacred holiday by stumbling through the woods with people you thank Gispert are not your blood relatives, then gather ’round a religious adviser to tell heartwarming stories and mock your fellow wankers in scatological detail.

Twas the night before Beermas, when all through the hash

The creatures were r*nning, and we even had cash;

Shiggy socks were donned on legs dark and pale, 

All for the sake of drinking cheap ale;

Brew crew was nestled all snug in Scrotal brew crew’s car,

While visions of Naturdays danced in their noodle.

You MUST sign up on Hash Rego for trail credit. A pack of 35 will gather for trail with a live, socially distant circle.

When: Circle up at 6:45pm; on-out at 7:00pm

Where: Fort Totten Park, corner of Fort Totten Drive NE & Crittenden St NE

D’Erections: From Fort Totten Metro, walk northwest on Galloway St NE toward Fort Totten Station, turn left on 1st Pl NE and continue when it turns into Gallatin St, then turn left on Fort Totten Dr NE. Capital Bike Share station at Fort Totten Metro Station.

Hares: Son, Where’s My Beer & Schrodinger’s Keg

Trail Length: 

Runners: 3.2 miles / Walkers: 2 miles

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A, with beer! Sign upon Hash Rego is Required! Be safe, stay distant, bring BUG SPRAY, wash your hands! Mask & vessel required!

Back again this week! 

We couldn’t celebrate without providing everyone’s favorite beverage – beer! Brew Crew will be available to serve you a limited amount of libations at both beer check and end. In order to ensure that this is done in a safe manner, we require the following:

  • Hand sanitizer will be provided. Please sanitize your hands before approaching the Brew Crew station. 
  • Brew Crew is required to wear a mask at all times. You must also wear a mask when interacting with them. 
  • Trails will be cans-only. Brew Crew will only purchase enough cans for rego’d hashers, so be sure to sign up! 
  • You must pour your beer into a vessel before leaving the crew station. 
  • Bottled water will also be provided – stay hydrated!
  • Do not reach for a beer! Brew Crew will hand your beer to you by placing it down on a table bench. 
  • There will be no bag van or snacks provided… YET. Stay tuned as we work on ways to re-introduce these aspects safely. 
  • Remember that your Crew has volunteered out of the goodness of their heart. They are offering their time, vehicle, and exposure to make you happy. Show them the respect they deserve!

Big Announcements!

1. Save the Date: Everyday is Wednesday will host Full Moon on August 8. Details to cum!

2. Need a mask? Want some novelty in your ath-leisure wear? Contact your Hab about online ordering today at [email protected]! Son, What the Fuck?! EWH3 Harerazor

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EWH3 #1191 – The Sports Ballz Trail (Phase Three) – Foggy Bottom (Blue/Orange/Silver)

Do you love sports? Do you enjoy making energetic grunts when playing with ballz? If you said yes to either of these questions, then you’re gonna love this week’s trail!  Join us for some good ole ball slapping fun. Bring your ball gown, ball gag, or ball game!

You have two options for this trail – You MUST sign up on HashRego for trail credit. 

1. Iso-Trail: Any time on Thursday between 10:00 AM and 6:00pm, find trail and run on your own. If you choose this option, do NOT mark checks, but please DO touch up any faded or distorted marks as you go. 

2. Live Packs: A pack of 35 will gather for trail with a live, socially distant circle. New this week, we will offer beverages at beer check and end! See below for details. 

When: Anytime before 6:00pm on Thursday, July 23; OR

Live Pack circle up at 6:45pm; on-out at 7:00pm

Where: 38.90355, -77.05614 (behind Salvation Army on L and 26th / Godey’s Lime Kilns and Historical Marker)

D’Erections: From Foggy Bottom Metro: Head north on 23rd St. NW, at Washington Circle NW, take the 5th exit onto Pennsylvania Ave NW, turn left onto L St NW and walk about 0.1 miles to start location.

Hares: They Blow Up So Fast and Tacos On A Bridge

Trail Length: Runners: 3 miles / Walkers: 1.5 miles

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A with some light shiggy (3/10), with a beer check! Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be Safe, Stay Distant, Wash your hands!

New this week! 

Beginning this week, we will be providing everyone’s favorite beverage – beer! Brew Crew will be available to serve you a limited amount of libations at both beer check and end. In order to ensure that this is done in a safe manner, we are requiring the following:

  • Hand sanitizer will be provided. Please sanitize your hands before approaching the Brew Crew station. 
  • Brew Crew is required to wear a mask at all times. You must also wear a mask when interacting with them. 
  • Trails will be cans-only. Brew Crew will only purchase enough cans for rego’d hashers, so be sure to sign up! 
  • You must pour your beer into a vessel before leaving the crew station. 
  • Bottled water will also be provided – stay hydrated!
  • Do not reach for a beer! Brew Crew will hand your beer to you by placing it down on a table bench. 
  • There will be no bag van or snacks provided… YET. Stay tuned as we work on ways to re-introduce these aspects safely. 
  • Remember that your Crew has volunteered out of the goodness of their heart. They are offering their time, vehicle, and exposure to make you happy. Show them the respect they deserve!
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EWH3 #1190 – Mermaids and Se(a)men (Phase Two.2) – Stadium-Armory (Blue/Orange/Silver line)

Do you want to be where the hashers are?  Do you want to see ‘em, hashin’ around?  Then put on some fins or dress like a dirty sailor and be part of our world.  Join us this week for a nautical journey and you might even spot some mythical sea creatures.  Suggested drinks include light rum, dark rum, spiced rum, and beer.

You have two options for this trail – You must sign up here via Hash Rego to attend! 

1. Iso-Trail: Any time on Thursday between 10:00 AM and 6:00pm, find trail and run on your own. If you choose this option, do NOT mark checks, but please DO touch up any faded or distorted marks as you go. Rego now!

2. Live Packs: A pack of 35 will gather for BYOB trail. We will be providing a limited amount of beer and water for the pack at end circle! Rego now!

When: Anytime before 6:00pm on Thursday, July 16; OR

Live Pack out at 7:00pm – Sign up on Hash Rego required! Be sure to read the requirements carefully before committing! 

Where: Start at the northern tip of parking lot 8 behind RFK stadium.

D’Erections: From the stadium-armory NE exit, head east on Independence ave SE towards RFK.  Walk across parking lot 8 and circle-up at the NE corner right before the Whitney Young Memorial Bridge. Capitol Bike Share station on 19th & East Capitol St SE.

Hares: They Blow Up So Fast and Tacos On A Bridge.

Trail Length: Runners 3.5 miles / Walkers 1.9 miles

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A with some light shiggy, BYOB & Snacks, Be Safe, Stay Distant, Wash your hands. 

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