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EWH3 #1387: 9th Anal Ugly Sweater Trail, December 7, 2023, Eastern Market Metro (Blue/Orange/Silver Lines)

Did you know that male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, but female reindeer don’t? So that ugly sweater you have of humping reindeer is a whole lot kinkier than you thought. And Thursday is your chance to wear it! That’s right, for the ninth year in a row, we are giving you the chance to wear your tackiest, ugliest, or most hideous holiday sweater on a winter wonderland romp!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1387.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, December 7, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Eastern Market Metro (Blue/Orange/Silver Lines).  Follow marks to start (across Pennsylvania Ave. from the Metro entrance)!

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 8th & Pennsylvania Ave. SE

Hares: Head Injury, Tie Me Up Before You Go-Go, Mystery Hares

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.2 mi. first half / 1.8 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.1 mi first half / 0.9 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Potomac Avenue Metro

Last Trains Out:

Blue Line – Largo: 12:18pm

Blue Line – Franconia Springfield: 11:39pm

Orange Line – New Carrollton: 12:20pm

Orange Line – Vienna: 11:49pm

Silver Line – Largo: 12:11pm

Silver Line – Ashburn: 11:46pm

On After*: Trusty’s!

Specials: You are special.*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

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EWH3 #1386: Pretty Pretty Princess: Barbie Edition. 7:15pm, Thursday, November 30, 2023 – Brookland Metro (Red Line)

‘Tis the year of our hero BARBIE, and she, like the Pretty Pretty Princess game, encourages to dress up and explore your potential jobs!  Are you President Barbie? 

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Is your job maybe Beach?  

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OR maybe Princess Barbie!  image.png

We can’t wait to find out!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1386

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, November 30, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Brookland Metro (Red Line). Follow the marks to start!

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 10th & Monroe St NE

Hares: Colliteral Damage, Spit n Spin, Geriatricmandering, Honey Bunches of C*nt, Whoregon Trail, Vagetarian

Trail Details:

Runners 1st Half 2.6 Mile / 2nd Half 1.6 Mile 

Walkers 1st  Half 1.5 Mile / 2nd Half 0.69 Mile 

Shiggy: .69 


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle. Sign-up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: NoMa 

Last Trains Out:

Red Line

– Glenmont: 12:14 AM

– Shady Grove: 11:56 PM

On After*: Last Call

Specials: You’re special!

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

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EWH3 #1385: The Thanksgiving Day Fiasco #20 Trail! – 11:00 AM Thursday, November 23, 2023 – Rosslyn (Blue, Orange, Silver Lines)

***********NOTE SPECIAL START TIME: TRAIL IS AT 11AM **********

20 Best Thanksgiving Memes - Funny Thanksgiving Photos to Share

This is the anal Thanksgiving Day trail.  Come help us celebrate the day the natives shared food with starving colonists before they were all slaughtered and rounded up on the sh*tiest pieces of land.  

Do not expect this to be a long drawn out affair.  We keep it short and to the point.  As the fairest member of your hare team has so perfectly explained this in the past, “you will not burn off the calories of one scoop of mashed potatoes and gravy!”  If you want to get a nice, sweat breaking R word, we suggest you do it on your own, before or after trail.  (Or is this finally the year the hares make good on their threats, get their acts together, and lay an actual trail???)

We will have plenty to drink, including our famous Wild Turkey shots.  

We do not serve anything before 11AM, so if you arrive early, BYOB.  DC weather is fickle and might be cold, so don’t forget those smallpox blankets to keep warm!

You Need to See These Hilarious Thanksgiving Memes

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD (https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1385).

When: Special Start time of 11AM!!!! Thursday November 23, 2023

Where: Rosslyn Metro (Blue, Orange, Silver Lines): Exit on the east side, Moore St head to the parking deck above The Continental

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Lynn St & 19th St North 

Hares: Please Step Away from the Wild Turkeys and friends!

Miscellaneous Crap: Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.


End Metro: If you’re still at the hash when the metro stops running that is on you. We start at 11 A.M. you animals

Last Trains Out: Again, this shouldn’t be a problem. 

On After: Top of the parking garage until we run out of booze.

Specials: This whole trail is special!

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EWH3 #1384: Crawl Out through the Fallout, Baby!, November 16, 2023, Crystal City Metro Station (Blue and Yellow Lines)

From the makers of Vault 69 and Fisto, this week your hares have a very S.P.E.C.I.A.L. trail for you. Run through a dystopian hellscape in an area controlled by all powerful defense contractors intent on convincing the American government they need to spend trillions to survive WWIII! Also, we’ll have some fictional video game stuff too. So suit up your power armor, strap-on your Pip-boy, and cum on out to our post-apocalyptic themed trail inspired by the Fallout video game series! Wear your favorite Fallout or videogame themed apparel, or show up as your favorite NPC!  Raider? Ghoul? Supermutant? Show us what makes you S.P.E.C.I.A.L.! 

Hope you brought your Radaway! “Toxic goo” will light the way to a bomb-tastic reward (beer!). We’ll have just enough shiggy to make you wish for a nuclear winter, so bring your own wasteland survival gear and a dry vault suit to change into.

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YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD. https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1384

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, November 16, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Crystal City Metro (Blue and Yellow Lines), follow marks to start!

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Crystal City Metro

Hares: Just MJ, Vagina is for Lone Wanderers, Bipolar Yao guai

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.0 mi. first half / 2.5 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.0 mi first half / 1.8 mi. second half

– Radiation Exposure: 7.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ (0.8 mi to Crystal City Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun!

End Metro: Crystal City

Last Trains Out:

Blue Line Downtown Largo: 11:46 PM

Blue Line Franconia-Springfield: 12:26 AM

Yellow Line Huntington: 12:11 AM

Yellow Line Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center: 11:38 PM

On After*: Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant, 555 23rd St S, Arlington, VA 22202

Specials: We are all S.P.E.C.I.A.L! Join us for karaoke! 

Free bottle caps if you sing something off the fallout soundtrack! 😉

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

EWH3 #1383: The Last Unsting, November 9th, 2023, Tenleytown-AU (RED Line)

Once upon a time, 6 younger intrepid hashers set off to make the hash world a little more ravy. Since the beginning of the Unst Unst series, EWH3 has spun old-school beats, danced with bears, and dropped some sick beats.

While Atari is the only OG crew still hashing, this new crew is just as hoppin. 

Come join for the end of an era: The Last Unsting. 

Unsts of by gone eras:

The Unst Unst Unst Trail!

The Unst Unst Unst Part Deux: The November Sessions!

Unst Unst Unst: Triple Cummings Trail!

(Let’s pretend that there is hash flash for the 4th and 5th anal trails…)

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1383

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, November 9th, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: American University Metro

Nearest Capital Bike Share: At the metro station

Hares: Atari 6900, Stain Gretzky, Cumburgular, Burlington Ho Factory, Tumey McBoatface, Crocs On, Crocs Off

Trail Details: 

– Runners: 2 mi. first half / 2.5 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.3 mi first half / 1.4 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 6.69

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (.3 mi to Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun. 

End Metro: Tenleytown-AU

Glenmont 11:50 PM

Shady Grove 12:20 AM

On After: Guapos

Specials: Maybe?

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

EWH3 #1182 – The Fifth Anal Pumpkin Spice Latter Trail (Grand Central – Woodley Park-Zoo/Adams Morgan)

Note: Trail will be one leg with no beer check. Bag drop and opening circle at Grand Central. End circle in the bar with your first beer provided (or more until the hash cash runs out). Bring your ID.

One autumn evening in 2017, Wait Wait Don’t Fuck Me set off on an adventure, leading two virgin hares in a lesson on how NOT to hare. Some hashers left that night with PTSD, cold bums, and a (now rational) fear of black chalk. Voted “Worst Trail of the Year” four years in a row, the 2017 Pumpkin Spice Latte Trail will live in infamy. Now, we return to the scene of the crime, for a Venti sized trail that’s sure to delight (or terrify). 

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It’s fall y’all and you know what that means: leggings, flannel, and Pumpkin Spice Lattes! So dust off those Uggs and join us to celebrate twenty years of PSL and FIVE semi-Anal #PSL Trails.

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No one wanted to hare this week, so your GM has taken it upon herself to plan a bar-centric trail. We will gather at Grand Central for a bag drop and opening circle. The pack will venture out on a single leg trail, complete with shot check, before returning to Grand Central for a warm and creamy end circle. 

Hash Cash: $10 cash at sign in or rego in advance online via Hash Rego.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, November 2, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Pre-Lube: Grand Central – 2447 18th St NW  Drop your bags off early and grab a beer to get your night started.

Where: Grand Central (0.75 miles from the metro)

Hares: Poon-apple Juice, Burlington Ho Factory, Just Emily, Head Injury

Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.98 mi.
– Walkers: 0.85
– Shiggy: .69

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (bar to bar). Bring your ID, a cranium light, and a sense of humor. Be smart, have fun. There will be a bag drop at start, with bags locked up by bar staff, which is where we will circle up. There will be no real beer check for this trail! Halves are separated by a shot check, however walkers will wait for runners who wish to switch to walkers’ trail.

End Metro: Woodley Park-Zoo/Adams Morgan

Last Trains Out:
Glenmont 11:57 PM
Shady Grove 12:13 AM

On After: Grand Central
Specials: It’s also end circle.. and start

EWH3 1381: The Spooky Boozy Ladies Annual Halloween Trail!, October 26, 2023, NoMa-Gallaudet U (Red Line)

100 years ago, the Washington Post reported the story of a mysterious European prince who met a fair, young woman at an embassy. This so-called prince turned out to be a vampire who followed her home to what is now the Noma-Gallaudet area. She was found dead and the Prince disappeared. However, numerous killings started occurring and the neighborhood realized the young woman was turned. Join the Boozy Horror Ladies as we pay homage to the DC Vampyre.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1381.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, October 26, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: NoMa-Gallaudet U – FL Ave Exit

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 1st & M St NE

Hares: GeriatricMandering, Colliteral Damage, Whoregon Trail, Son, What the Fuck, Stain Gretzky, and Bless Me Father for I Have Rimmed

Trail Details: 
– Runners: 1.6 mi. first half / 1.25 mi. second half
– Walkers: .7 mi first half / .7 mi. second half
– Shiggy: .69

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ (.4 mi to NoMa-Gallaudet U Metro). Stairs are on second half of runners.Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun. 

End Metro: NoMa-Gallaudet U
Last Trains Out:
Glenmont – 12:14 am
Shady Grove – 11:56 pm

On After*: Last Call
Specials: After a bunch of Twinkle Juice you can get some jello shots!
*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

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EWH3 #1380: The Extra SPECIAL NEW ZEALAND World Peace Through Beer Hash, October 19, 2023, Rhode Island Metro Station (Red Line)

See you tonight (10/18) at 6 PM at Dew Drop Inn for the Mismanagement Interest Happy Hour!

Interhash without leaving home!  World Peace Through Beer is an annual event held on the closest hashing day to United Nations day, Oct. 24.  We are helping all beer-producing nations by encouraging production and consumption of beer, and helping various hash groups open their eyes to the variety of beers and flavours enjoyed by hashers everywhere.  This year’s featured country is New Zealand:

Shamrock Your Cock will give out patches to the first 50 hashers that show up and find her.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD (Hash Rego Link to cum tonight. Check the website for a link to pay by card.)

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, October 19, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Rhode Island Avenue – Brentwood Station on the North side of Rhode Island Avenue.  Follow chalk marks to start.

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Rhode Island Avenue – Brentwood Station Metro

Hares: Special Head Kid, Lorena Hobbit, Special Red, Tony Panda, and Shamrock Your Cock

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.6 mi. first half / 2.7 mi. second half

– Walkers: 0.9 mi first half / 1.0 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ . Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: 

Last Trains Out:

Glenmont12:17 AM1:17 AM1:17 AM12:17 AM
Shady Grove11:53 PM12:53 AM12:53 AM11:53 PM

On After*: City State Brewing

Specials: Special Head Kid and Special Red*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Upcoming Events & Announcements!

Give Back to the Hash!  

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com. 

EWH3 #1379: The Long, Hard, and Suspiciously Straight-ish Trail – Thursday, October 12, 2023 – Cleveland Park Metro (Red Line)

EWH3 #1379: The Long, Hard, and Suspiciously Straight-ish Trail – Thursday, October 12, 2023 – Cleveland Park Metro (Red Line)

Imagine laying a trail that’s so long in length that you question what you previously thought was “long”. Or a trail so hard that you question if your last lover really did love you. Or one that’s so straight that you feel like you’ve gone back into the closet.

That’s how I, Coco, felt when I made this yesterday! Cheers!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1379

When: Thursday, October 12, 2023. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Cleveland Park Metro

Hares: Crocs On Crocs Off, Tumey McBoatface, Burlington Ho Factory, Vagina is for Lawyers

Trail Details

Runners: 2.2 mi. first half / 1.7 mi. second half

Walkers: 1.3 mi first half / 1.3 mi second half

Shiggy Level: 2.69 for Runners, 0.69 for Walkers

Miscellaneous Crap: is A to Z (0.3 miles to Farragut North, 0.4 miles to Farragut West) Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun. 

Last Trains Out of Farragut North.

Last Trains Out of Farragut West. 

On After*: 

Recessions

1823 L St NW

Specials: You’re special and so am I. Karaoke all night!

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EWH3 Mismanagement Interest Happy Hour! 6-8pm Wednesday, October 18th, Dew Drop Inn

Want to give back to the hash in a big way? Think you can run things better than the current batch of wankers?  Curious about how the hash functions behind the scenes? Like free beer?  If so, then come out to EWH3’s Mismanagement Interest Happy Hour next Wednesday (October 18th) from 6-8PM at Dew Drop Inn. Crush some beers, have a bite on us, and pick the brains (or what is left of them) of current members of Mismanagement about their positions.  

Want to know a bit more about what you can do? Check out the list of Mismanagement positions here.

If you aren’t able to make it but are interested in a position, please email the GMs at ewh3gms@gmail.com.

Not sure you are ready for MM?  Come out anyway and learn about the other ways you can give back to the hash: you can join one of the planning committees for EWH3’s annual events like AGM, WIE, or Pub Crawl, and you can sign up for brew crew.

The details:

Wednesday, October 18

6-8PM

Dew Drop Inn

2801 8th St NE

On-Free Beer!-On