Calling all Real Hashwives! Welcome to the ultimate Reality TV Trail, where hash meets the thrill of your favorite reality shows! Immerse yourself in the excitement and drama of the small screen’s biggest hits, from Big Brother to Chopped to The Bachelor. Whether you’re vying for victory or villianhood, every step brings you closer to influencer fame. Channel your inner Amazing Race contestant as you solve checks, form alliances, and race against your need for beer. Brace yourself for a Fear Factor shot check, a spill the tea end circle, and reunion episode you can’t miss at the On-After. 

So gather your tribe, don your buffs, and get ready to compete in true reality show style- or just commit white collar crime. Will you accept this beer?

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, April 18, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Federal Center SW

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 4th & E St SW

Hares: Vagetarian, Jebutante, Crocs On-Crocs Off, Close Encounters of the Turd Kind, Poon-apple Juice

Trail Details:
– Runners: 3.26 mi. first half / 2.27 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.47 mi first half / 1.30 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to Z (0.5 mi to Archives-Navy Memorial-Penn Quarter Metro or 0.4 mi to Judiciary Square). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Archives-Navy Memorial-Penn Quarter

Last Trains Out:

Branch Ave- 11:52 PM

Greenbelt- 12:16 AM

Huntington- 12:00 AM

Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center- 11:49 PM

End Metro: Judiciary Square

Last Trains Out:

Glenmont- 12:10 AM

Shady Grove- 12:00 AM

On After: Hamilton’s Bar and Grill (233 2nd St NW, Washington, DC 20001)

Specials: Green Tea shots on Vag for those who spill good tea at the reunion episode.

Announcements:

– Hares needed May 16! Email the Hare Razor to claim the date! 

– Hash flash is back (and better than ever!) – Check out the most recent albums here

– Helper Hares needed! Email the Hare Razor to sign up and get paired with an alpha hare in need. Ready to alpha your own trail? Reach out to secure a date!

Now for your regularly scheduled programming:


Are you recovering from a big homecumming weekend, or weekend sitting at home wondering, “where is everyone?” What better way to exercise your legs and liver than to come on out to Potomac Yard (that’s in Virginia) on Thursday for the WIE-covery trail. This is attempt two at the first EWH3 trail in this territory, so fingers crossed we don’t have any natural disasters (other than post-WIE hashers) join us at trail this week.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD 

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, April 11, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Potomac Yard north pavilion exit, follow marks to start

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Main Line Blvd & E Glebe Rd

Hares: Lickthyologist, Whoriana’s Trench, Too Easy, Blows a Tranny, General’s Farm Animal, Beer and a Bag Full of Dildoes – Good Times! 

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.6 mi. first half / 1.7 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.4 mi first half / .75 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap:
Trail is A to B (.5 mi to Crystal City Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle (maybe some Pedialyte..). Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro:
Crystal City

Last Trains Out:

Blue Line Largo 11:46 PM

Blue Line Franconia-Springfield 12:25 AM

Yellow Line Huntington 12:11 AM

Yellow Line Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center 11:38 PM

On After: Freddie’s

Specials: Karaoke is special

Hares needed May 2 & May 16Email the Hare Razor to claim the date! 

Y

Are you tired of your day job? Can’t wait for WIE this weekend? Well, start your weekend early, be like Ken, and make beach your job until Monday morning! Come on trail in your best beach or Ken attire thirsty for some sweet golden nectar!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, April 4, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Eastern Market

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 7th & North Carolina Ave SE

Hares: Ruth Masturbader Ginsberg, Sir Lancelittle, Tuneless

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.5/2.3
– Walkers: 1.45/1.3
– Shiggy: 0.69

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (Navy Yard). Bring a cranium lamp, vessel, thirst for our favorite beverage, surfboards and sunnies! Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Navy Yard – Ballpark
Last Trains Out:
Branch Ave 12:18 AM
Greenbelt 11:52 PM

On After: The Big Stick
Specials: Beer Buckets – Buy any 5 of the same bottles/cans for the price of 4!

Welcum to the First Anal Anythingaversary Trail!  For your alpha co-hares, it’s the 1st Analversary of our White Dress Run, but we don’t want to limit this trail to our celebration, we want to celebrate all of the things!  Pick anything you wouldn’t ordinarily, or haven’t but would like to, celebrate as an anniversary and bring that joy to trail!  

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, March 28, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Brookland Metro, follow marks to start

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 10th & Monroe St NE

Hares: Colliteral Damage, Honey Bunches of C*nt, Geriatricmandering, Son, What the F*ck!

Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.75  mi. first half / 2.3 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.2 mi first half / 1.5 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (0.4 mi to Brookland Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, a full water bottle, and something to celebrate. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Brookland 

Last Trains Out:

Glenmont – 12:19 AM

Shady Grove – 11:51 AM

On After: Brookland Pint

Specials: You’re Anythingaversary!

This week we are celebrating our favorite Disney Channel Original Movies! From Halloweentown to Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century to the GOAT of DCOMs – High School Musical, there are so many feel-good, cringy films to choose from. Dress as your favorite character and maybe be prepared to audition for the Hash Summer Musicale?? 

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, March 21, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 5th and K Street NW

Hares: Jeb!utante, Poon-apple Juice, Vegetarian, The Cumburglar!, No Strings Attached

Trail Details:
– Runners: TBD but around 2 mi. first half / TBD but around 2 mi. second half 

– Walkers: TBD but around 1 mi first half / TBD but around 1 mi. second half

– Shiggy: .69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and the song that’s in your heart. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Shaw-Howard University

Last Trains Out:

Branch Ave 11:47PM

Greenbelt 12:20AM

On After: Ivy and ConeySpecials: u r special

Pi has been around for almost 4000 years, but let’s talk about the real pie-timeline! Back in ancient Babylon, they thought pi was a neat and tidy 3. Then along came Archimedes, who played the world’s first game of ‘Guess the Pi’ and landed somewhere between 3 1/7 and 3 10/71. Ptolemy added his two cents, giving us 3.1416, probably after a heated debate with Archimedes at the math club. Not to be left out, Zu Chongzhi, a brilliant Chinese mathematician and astronomer, took a similar approach to calculating pi, showing that mathematical genius knows no cultural bounds.

Meanwhile, in a parallel pastry universe, the Egyptians were baking what we now call pies, and the Greeks were flexing their culinary skills, possibly while debating the finer points of geometry. Fast forward to Thanksgiving in 1621, where the pilgrims didn’t have pumpkin pie but were chowing down on meat pies like it was going out of style. The colonists loved pies so much they used them as winter food storage units. Talk about a crusty situation! And what’s more American than apple pie? Well, actually, it’s pretty English. But hey, we’ll still claim it as our own. Because in the end, whether it’s math or dessert, everyone wants a piece of the pie!

Join us this Thursday for a pie in the sky trail to celebrate all things π and pie!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, March 14, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Lyman’s Tavern. 3720 14th St NW, Washington, DC 20010 (Closest metro Georgia Ave-Petworth, ½ a mile from start)

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 4th St & Spring Rd NW

Hares: Lickthyologist, Atari 6900, Tumey McBoatface, Head Injury, possible mystery hares

Trail Details:
– Runners: 3.14 miles 

– Walkers: 1.69 miles  

– Shiggy: 0.14159265359

Bag drop at Lyman’s will start at 6:45, with the opening circle out front at 7:15. Someone will be appointed to stay with the bags, in lieu of a bag van. There will be no real beer check for this trail! Halves are separated by a shot check, however walkers will wait for runners who wish to switch to walkers’ trail.


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (bar to bar). Bring your ID, a cranium light, and a sense of humor. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: George Ave-Petworth Metro (Green Line)

Last Trains Out:

Branch Ave 11:41 PM

Greenbelt 12:27 AM

On After: Lyman’s

Specials: You are special.

March is here and the weather is changing. You know what that means… Baseball season is upon us. Even if it’s not your thing, you might as well come out this Thursday to experience some of the first green you’ve seen in a while as we take a trip through South DC, passing all kinds of parks and sports fields.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, March 7, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Waterfront Metro

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 4th and M St SW

Hares: Tumey McBoatFace, How Much Wood Could a Woodchuck Fuck?, TBD

Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.8 mi. first half / 2.4 mi. second half
– Walkers: 1.1 mi. first half / 1.3 mi. second half
– Shiggy: 0.69

Miscellaneous Crap:
Trail is A to B

On After: Solace Outpost
Specials: You’re Special. 

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (well, not that far, just in ancient Rome), there was a peculiar problem. You see, the Earth wasn’t exactly punctual about completing its trip around the sun in 365 days. It was more like, “Eh, I’ll get there when I get there.”

Now, the Romans were a stickler for schedules. They had their calendars all neatly organized, but they noticed something fishy. Every year, things seemed to get a little out of sync. Festivals were happening in the wrong seasons, farmers were planting crops at all the wrong times, and toga parties were just a mess.

So, in their wisdom, the Romans consulted their best minds and mathematicians. After much scratching of craniums and furrowing of brows, they came up with a brilliant idea: Let’s add an extra day to the calendar every four years!

And thus, leap day was born! 

Over the centuries, leap day became a day of bizarre traditions and superstitions. Some people believed it was a day when women could propose to men (because apparently, proposing on any other day was just too mainstream). Others thought it was a day when you could wear your underwear outside your pants and nobody would bat an eye.

Hashers took the hopportunity to drink and frolic through Froggy Bottom on a trail rife with hopscotch, leap frog, and maybe even some hurdles. Show off your wild side as a leaping lizard, bounding bunny, or kicking kangaroo! 

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, February 29, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: George Washington Equestrian Statue (follow marks from Froggy Bottom Metro)

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 23rd & M St NW

Hares: Poon-apple Juice, Vegetarian, Some Mystery Hares

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.1 mi. first half / 2.0 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.1 mi first half / 0.9 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap:
Trail is A to B (0.3 mi to Farragut North, 0.5 mi to Farragut West). Bring your own vessel, your best jump roping skillz, and a supportive sports bra (or not). Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro
Last Trains Out:

Farragut North Farragut West

Glenmont 12:02 AM Ashburn 12:05 AM

Shady Grove 12:08 AM Downtown Largo 11:58 PM

Downtown Largo 12:00 AM

Franconia-Springfield 11:58 PM

New Carrollton 11:56 PM

Vienna/Fairfax-GMU 12:09 AM

On After: Recessions

Specials: Get ready to karaoke! Sign up for your favorite hip-hop song or serenade us with some House of Pain.

Get ready to celebrate our kennel having hashed 1,400 times by getting down and dirty with hops and suds at the drunkest Olympics event of the year! Alex Rodriguez had HGH, Lance Armstrong had Testosterone, and Barry Bonds had his famous anabolic steroids. Now it is our turn to explore the world of sports using every hasher’s favorite performance enhancing beverage: Beer! Join us for a wild day of competition, where teams will battle it out in epic challenges like keg stands, beer pong, and other beer themed events. It’s time to show off your chugging skills, and overall alcoholic prowess, so don your drinking track suit, lace up your drinking shoes, and get ready to guzzle your way to glory at the ultimate Beer Olympdicks!

In order to ensure maximum performance by our hash olympians, food will be provided! Note any dietary restrictions when you rego. The deadline for notifying us of restrictions is Thursday, February 22, so rego early!

PLEASE NOTE – THE RAIN DAY FOR THIS EVENT IS MARCH 2ND.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD (link).

When: 12:45 PM Saturday, February 24, 2024. Pack will be away right at 1:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Potomac Ave Metro

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Potomac & Pennsylvania Ave SE

Hares: Burlington Ho Factory, Tumey McBoat Face, & How Much Wood Could A Woodchuck Fuck?

Hash Cash: $35 in advance, $40 at the door – Rego includes drinks, snacks, games, and a light dinner. 

Trail Details: 

– Walkers: 1.0 mi 

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (1 mi to Potomac Ave Metro). Bring your own vessel, a competitive spirit, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Potomac Ave

Last Trains Out: We will be done when the sun is still out lol

On After: Trustys

Specials: It’s Trustys, my guy.

It’s time to flashback to those days of yore. Bust out those letter jackets, JNCOs, wrestling uniforms, or other memorabilia. You know you want to wear it outside the house.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, February 22, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Capitol South Metro. Meet at Folger Park at 3rd & D St. SE

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 3rd St & Pennsylvania Ave SE

Hares: GeriatricMandering, Bumspringa, Stain Gretzky, and No Strings Attached 

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.15 mi. first half / 2.1 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1 mi first half / 1.1 mi. second half

– Shiggy: .69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to Z (.5 mi to *Navy Yard* Metro). Bring your own vessel and a cranium light. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: *Navy Yard*

Last Trains Out:

Branch Ave 12:18 am

Greenbelt 11:52 pm

On After: Atlas Brew Works 

Specials: Extended Happy Hour