Welcome back to another Thursday of (masked) debauchery!

You MUST sign up on HashRego for trail credit. A pack of 35 will gather for trail with a live, socially distant circle.

When: Circle up at 6:45pm; on-out at 7:00pm

Where:  Van Ness/UDC (start here)

D’Erections:  From the Van Ness/UDC Metro, walk up Connecticut Ave, take a left on Yuma St, and go to the TOP of the garage.

Hares: Papal Smear & Special Red

Trail Length: 

Runners First half 2.0 / Second half 1.8 miles

Walkers first half 1.6 / Second half 1.5 miles

 *Has shiggy & not stroller friendly (but tough dog friendly)!

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A, with beer! Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be safe, stay distant, bring BUG SPRAY, wash your hands! Mask & vessel required!

It’s hot, it’s humid, it’s summer in DC. Whether you prefer BREASTstroke, Doggie (style) Paddle, or just hanging by the edge, prepare to get Wet and Wild.

For the third year in a row we’ll have itsy-bitsy attire and maybe some teenie-weenies. Cum dressed to impress in your bikinis, speedos, mankinis and tankinis. 

You MUST sign up on HashRego for trail credit. A pack of 35 will gather for trail with a live, socially distant circle.

When: Circle up at 6:45pm; on-out at 7:00pm

Where: Under 695 at the $10 parking . Circle up closer to South Cap.

D’Erections: You’ll find it. Nearest Capital Bikeshare Station is at Eye & First Streets SE. 

Hares: 21 Gum Salute & Poon-Apple Juice

Trail Length: 

Runners 3.75miles / Walkers 2miles

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A, with beer! Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be safe, stay distant, bring BUG SPRAY, wash your hands! Mask & vessel required!

Cum join Schrödinger’s Cock as he attempts to thwart the gods of aging by dressing as another hasher’s name. Like Nicholas Cage (or John Travolta? Still not sure…), it’s time for a face… off!

Need some inspiration? Check out some of last year’s guests of honor, including…

Stain Gretzky

Goldman Ballsachs

The Cumburglar! and Poon-apple Juice

Texas Hold Him

Texas Hold Him

You MUST sign up on HashRego for trail credit. A pack of 35 will gather for trail with a live, socially distant circle.

When: Circle up at 6:45pm; on-out at 7:00pm

Where: Across L St from the Walker-Jones Educational Campus

D’Erections:

  • From Mt Vernon Square Metro: Walk East along M street, turn South down NJ Ave, turn East on L St NW, parking lot to the South
  • From Noma/Gallaudet Metro: Walk West along M, continuing along NY Ave, turn South down 1st St NW, turn East down L St NW, parking lot to the South
  • Capital Bike Share (4th St NW & K St NW): Walk East along K, turn North up NJ Ave, Turn East down L St NW, parking lot to the South

Hares:  Schrödinger’s Cock & 21 Gum Salute

Trail Length: Runners: 3 miles / Walkers: 1.22 miles

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A, with beer! Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be safe, stay distant, bring BUG SPRAY, wash your hands! Mask & vessel required!

Big Announcements!

1. August Full Moon Trail – EWH3

Iso-Trail (No rego or sign up). Please space yourself apart and be safe.

When: Saturday August 8th, live after 10:30am. 

Where: Start is located at 5539 Mt Pleasant St NW

Hares: Deetz Nutz, 21 Gum Salute

Trail Length: Runners – 4.1 mi / Walkers – 2 mi

Shiggy Level: Runners – 4 out of 6.9, Walkers – 0.69 out of 6.9

Misc: Trail is A to A with optional BYOBeer Check.  Walker trail is dog friendly.  Runners trail is dog friendly for adventurous dogs only.  Water crossing on Runners trail (knee deep).  One BVC crossing on Runners.  If you choose to run/walk trail at night, please take an Accountabil-a-buddy.

Friday, August 7 is International Beer Day! Get a h*ad start on this sacred holiday by stumbling through the woods with people you thank Gispert are not your blood relatives, then gather ’round a religious adviser to tell heartwarming stories and mock your fellow wankers in scatological detail.

Twas the night before Beermas, when all through the hash

The creatures were r*nning, and we even had cash;

Shiggy socks were donned on legs dark and pale, 

All for the sake of drinking cheap ale;

Brew crew was nestled all snug in Scrotal brew crew’s car,

While visions of Naturdays danced in their noodle.

You MUST sign up on Hash Rego for trail credit. A pack of 35 will gather for trail with a live, socially distant circle.

When: Circle up at 6:45pm; on-out at 7:00pm

Where: Fort Totten Park, corner of Fort Totten Drive NE & Crittenden St NE

D’Erections: From Fort Totten Metro, walk northwest on Galloway St NE toward Fort Totten Station, turn left on 1st Pl NE and continue when it turns into Gallatin St, then turn left on Fort Totten Dr NE. Capital Bike Share station at Fort Totten Metro Station.

Hares: Son, Where’s My Beer & Schrodinger’s Keg

Trail Length: 

Runners: 3.2 miles / Walkers: 2 miles

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A, with beer! Sign upon Hash Rego is Required! Be safe, stay distant, bring BUG SPRAY, wash your hands! Mask & vessel required!

Back again this week! 

We couldn’t celebrate without providing everyone’s favorite beverage – beer! Brew Crew will be available to serve you a limited amount of libations at both beer check and end. In order to ensure that this is done in a safe manner, we require the following:

  • Hand sanitizer will be provided. Please sanitize your hands before approaching the Brew Crew station. 
  • Brew Crew is required to wear a mask at all times. You must also wear a mask when interacting with them. 
  • Trails will be cans-only. Brew Crew will only purchase enough cans for rego’d hashers, so be sure to sign up! 
  • You must pour your beer into a vessel before leaving the crew station. 
  • Bottled water will also be provided – stay hydrated!
  • Do not reach for a beer! Brew Crew will hand your beer to you by placing it down on a table bench. 
  • There will be no bag van or snacks provided… YET. Stay tuned as we work on ways to re-introduce these aspects safely
  • Remember that your Crew has volunteered out of the goodness of their heart. They are offering their time, vehicle, and exposure to make you happy. Show them the respect they deserve!

Big Announcements!

1. Save the Date: Everyday is Wednesday will host Full Moon on August 8. Details to cum!

2. Need a mask? Want some novelty in your ath-leisure wear? Contact your Hab about online ordering today at [email protected]! Son, What the Fuck?! EWH3 Harerazor

Do you love sports? Do you enjoy making energetic grunts when playing with ballz? If you said yes to either of these questions, then you’re gonna love this week’s trail!  Join us for some good ole ball slapping fun. Bring your ball gown, ball gag, or ball game!

You have two options for this trail – You MUST sign up on HashRego for trail credit. 

1. Iso-Trail: Any time on Thursday between 10:00 AM and 6:00pm, find trail and run on your own. If you choose this option, do NOT mark checks, but please DO touch up any faded or distorted marks as you go. 

2. Live Packs: A pack of 35 will gather for trail with a live, socially distant circle. New this week, we will offer beverages at beer check and end! See below for details. 

When: Anytime before 6:00pm on Thursday, July 23; OR

Live Pack circle up at 6:45pm; on-out at 7:00pm

Where: 38.90355, -77.05614 (behind Salvation Army on L and 26th / Godey’s Lime Kilns and Historical Marker)

D’Erections: From Foggy Bottom Metro: Head north on 23rd St. NW, at Washington Circle NW, take the 5th exit onto Pennsylvania Ave NW, turn left onto L St NW and walk about 0.1 miles to start location.

Hares: They Blow Up So Fast and Tacos On A Bridge

Trail Length: Runners: 3 miles / Walkers: 1.5 miles

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A with some light shiggy (3/10), with a beer check! Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be Safe, Stay Distant, Wash your hands!

New this week! 

Beginning this week, we will be providing everyone’s favorite beverage – beer! Brew Crew will be available to serve you a limited amount of libations at both beer check and end. In order to ensure that this is done in a safe manner, we are requiring the following:

  • Hand sanitizer will be provided. Please sanitize your hands before approaching the Brew Crew station. 
  • Brew Crew is required to wear a mask at all times. You must also wear a mask when interacting with them. 
  • Trails will be cans-only. Brew Crew will only purchase enough cans for rego’d hashers, so be sure to sign up
  • You must pour your beer into a vessel before leaving the crew station. 
  • Bottled water will also be provided – stay hydrated!
  • Do not reach for a beer! Brew Crew will hand your beer to you by placing it down on a table bench. 
  • There will be no bag van or snacks provided… YET. Stay tuned as we work on ways to re-introduce these aspects safely
  • Remember that your Crew has volunteered out of the goodness of their heart. They are offering their time, vehicle, and exposure to make you happy. Show them the respect they deserve!

Do you want to be where the hashers are?  Do you want to see ‘em, hashin’ around?  Then put on some fins or dress like a dirty sailor and be part of our world.  Join us this week for a nautical journey and you might even spot some mythical sea creatures.  Suggested drinks include light rum, dark rum, spiced rum, and beer.

You have two options for this trail – You must sign up here via Hash Rego to attend! 

1. Iso-Trail: Any time on Thursday between 10:00 AM and 6:00pm, find trail and run on your own. If you choose this option, do NOT mark checks, but please DO touch up any faded or distorted marks as you go. Rego now!

2. Live Packs: A pack of 35 will gather for BYOB trail. We will be providing a limited amount of beer and water for the pack at end circle! Rego now!

When: Anytime before 6:00pm on Thursday, July 16; OR

Live Pack out at 7:00pm – Sign up on Hash Rego requiredBe sure to read the requirements carefully before committing! 

Where: Start at the northern tip of parking lot 8 behind RFK stadium.

D’Erections: From the stadium-armory NE exit, head east on Independence ave SE towards RFK.  Walk across parking lot 8 and circle-up at the NE corner right before the Whitney Young Memorial Bridge. Capitol Bike Share station on 19th & East Capitol St SE.

Hares: They Blow Up So Fast and Tacos On A Bridge.

Trail Length: Runners 3.5 miles / Walkers 1.9 miles

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A with some light shiggy, BYOB & Snacks, Be Safe, Stay Distant, Wash your hands. 

This summer’s hottest new trend is…

…eating and drinking your favorite beverage outdoors on these cute little blankets. Bring your gingham and your basket for a picnic in the park with your favorite wankers! Pack your coolers of grapes (juice form is acceptable) and cheese or grab some takeout to support your favorite local spot.

You have three options for this trail:

1. Virtual Only: Post a photo to the Google album following the requirements listed below. [this is the last week that virtual-only trail credit will be offered]

2. Iso-Trail: Any time on Thursday between 8:00 AM and 5:00 PM, find trail and run on your own. Snap a photo at the indicated spot and post for credit. If you choose this option, do NOT mark checks, but please DO touch up any faded or distorted marks as you go. 

3. Live Packs: Two packs of packs of 35 will gather for BYOB trail. You must sign up here via Hash Rego to attend!  

When: Any time before 5:00pm on Thursday, July 9; OR

Live Packs out at 5:00 & 7:00 pm! – Sign up on Hash Rego required! Be sure to read the requirements carefully before committing! 

Where: Fort Reno Park (start at parking lot at Fort Drive & Howard Street NW)

D’Erections: From the Tenleytown-AU metro station, walk 2 blocks on Albemarle street – turn left on Nebraska Avenue, cross Chesapeake St NW, enter the park on Howard St NW and walk until you reach the parking lot.

Hares: Son, What the Fuck?! and Tacos On A Bridge

Trail Length: Runners: 3.3miles / Walkers: 2.1miles

Photo Requirements: To receive credit, you must post at least one of the following to the google album, linked here:

1. Snap a photo on trail at the photo check

2. Show off the things that make all the (ants) come to your yard [this is the last week that virtual-only trail credit will be offered]

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A, BYOB & Snacks & Face covering, Be Safe, Stay Distant, Wash your hands. If you are showing symptoms of or may have been exposed to COVID-19, please stay home and enjoy virtual trail offerings.

Virtual Circle: Details for Zoom will be posted in the Google album with Chalk Talk.

(To the tune of Jack Sparrow by The Lonely Island)

Trail starts now baby drink with us

Callin out OnOn as we rollin’ up. Rollin’ up!
Blow through the check ain’t no holdin’ up Yeah!
Chugging beer at beer check like I gives a fuck. Come on

Muggles shifty eyed when we walk into the park
But they’re just looking jealous cause it closes at dark
Yeah! Yeah!

Tall boy in my bag, holding my chalk
You either sing, tell a joke, or show the whole pack your —

This is the tale of DC on lockdown
Thanks to the spread of COVID-19
Stuck in our homes, can’t go to Tortuga
Gotta cover our mouths, just in case we sneeze

Yeah that was kinda weird, but we’re back at the hash…

You have three options for this trail:

1. Virtual Only: Post a photo to the Google Album following the requirements listed below.

2. Iso-Trail: Any time on Thursday between 10:00 AM and 5:00 PM, find trail and run on your own. Snap a photo at the indicated spot and post for credit. If you choose this option, do NOT mark checks, but please DO touch up any faded or distorted marks as you go. 

3. Live Packs: Two packs of 25 will gather for BYOB trail. You must sign up here via Hash Rego to attend! Hash Rego will open on Sunday June 28 at 11:59PM.

When: Anytime before 5:00 on Thursday, July 2nd; OR

Live Packs out at 5:00 and 7:00 – Sign up on Hash Rego required! Be sure to read the requirements carefully before committing! 

Where: Parking lot on the East side of North Capital St. across from O St NW. 

D’Erections: From the NoMa/Gallaudet metro exit on to the North by the ATF building, walk down N Street, turn right at First St NE, cross New York Ave and immediately turn right into the parking lot.

Theme: The Lonely Island

Hares: Schrödinger’s Cock & Son, What the Fuck!?

Trail Length: about 3.69

Photo Requirements: To receive credit, you must post at least one of the following to the google album, linked here

1. Snap a photo on trail at the photo check. 

2. Show us your Michael Bolton level cinephilia!

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A, BYOB & Snacks, Be Safe, Stay Distant, Wash your hands. If you are showing symptoms of or have been exposed to COVID-19, or feel sick at all, please stay home and enjoy virtual trail!

Virtual Circle details: Thursday at 7PM
Meeting ID: 829 1622 3217
Password: beer

It’s been 101 days. In that time, we have missed:

Spring Break (woo!)

Easter (Guess Jesus really can’t go hashing…)

Cinco De Mayo

Memorial Day

Mother’s Day

Summer Solstice

So buckle up, you naughty wankers, we’re somehow…

Halfway to Christmas!

We may not be able to stuff your shiggy socks full of joy, but your MisManagement has another gift for you: A Real Live Trail!

So pack your sac full of libations, gather up your ho-ho-hos, and don your most festive outfit, whatever you decide to celebrate! 

You have three options for this trail:

1. Virtual Only: Post a photo to the Google Album following the requirements listed below.

2. Iso-Trail: Any time on Thursday between 10:00 AM and 5:00 PM, find trail and run on your own. Snap a photo at the indicated spot and post for credit. If you choose this option, do NOT mark checks, but please DO touch up any faded or distorted marks as you go. 

3. Live Packs: Two packs of 25 will gather for BYOB trail. You must sign up here via Hash Rego to attend! Hash Rego will open on Sunday June 21 at Noon.

When: Anytime before 5:00 on Thursday, June 25; OR

Live Packs out at 5:00 and 7:00 – Sign up on Hash Rego required! Be sure to read the requirements carefully before committing! 

Where: Garfield Park 

D’Erections: From the Capitol South metro, walk South down First St SE. When you reach the park, continue to the lower corner and stop before the staircase. 

Hares: Poon-apple Juice, Schrodinger’s Cock

Trail Length: 3.14 miles (We also missed Pi Day!)

Photo Requirements: To receive credit, you must post at least one of the following to the google album, linked here:

1. Snap a photo on trail at the photo check. 

2. Show off your winter cheer by dressing up and creating a snow-free angel. Get creative and post a photo or gif to the Google Photo album. 

3. Did you choose to celebrate in a different way? Show us your festive attire and tell us why that’s the holiday you’re most excited to relive!

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A, BYOB & Snacks, Be Safe, Stay Distant, Wash your hands. Refer to the email about EWH3 reopening for details.

Optional Beer Check: Don’t want to carry your own beverages? When you reach the beer check location, look for a note from your hares about an optional, unofficial beer check suggestion. 

Virtual Circle:

Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89534210105?pwd=VUpFZXVkazd3SXp2UFNic2VVKzlWUT09

Meeting ID: 895 3421 0105
Password: beer

When: Any time on Thursday, June 18 (but circle up at 7pm!)

Where: Wherever you happen to be

Hares: You!

Trail Length: Whatever you decide

Theme: PRIDE!

Somehow in the year 2020, it is June – a month that is usually celebrated across DC with bunting along the streets, beads that you don’t know prior whereabouts, and enough glitter to raise eyebrows in the office for weeks. For this year’s pride trail, hit one or more of the following locations during your trail and snap a photo for hash flash:

– Supreme Court!

– A statue or fountain (i.e. DuPont circle)

– one of our favorite LGBTQ+ breweries !

– a Jell-O shot at Nellies!

– P Street Beach 

– headstone of Frank Kameny, DC gay rights activist, in Congressional Cemetary

– anywhere else on this map of LGBT places and spaces in DC: 

At any time on Thursday, June 18, take a break from the tedium of social distancing and join us in any way you can. Choose a location for your runner’s, walker’s, or quarantined trail. Inside or outside, it’s up to you. Decide for yourself if you will be running/walking solo or with your quaranteam. 

Post it to our Google Photos album with your hash name and any interesting tidbits from your adventure. Check out everyone else’s dumb decisions and comment away! You must post on Thursday by midnight to receive credit for the trail, but feel free to continue liking, commenting, and supporting one another. 

CIRCLE UP at 7pm! Join Zoom Meeting:
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89534210105?pwd=VUpFZXVkazd3SXp2UFNic2VVKzlWUT09

Meeting ID: 895 3421 0105
Password: beer

On After: Join a virtual On-After with Smut Slam! This is not a hash-hosted event (but certainly incorporates hasher interests, you naughty wanks) Info here: https://m.facebook.com/events/264737907978221/

Interested in hosting next week? Email me at [email protected] !

A message from your Brew Meister for properly executing your personal brew crews on trail.  Please consider buying local when you can during these times.  Whether a restaurant, bar, or direct from the brewery we can help our local establishments through these trying times.  Beers enjoyed outside are best done in a koozie, please recycle when appropriate, and remember we’re hashers not trashers.  I hope you’re all doing well, On-Quarantine-On!

DC Local Breweries

Maryland Local Breweries

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