EWH3 # 1369: The Six Six Sixty-Nine Trail, August 3, 2023, Foggy Bottom Metro (Blue/Orange/Silver Line)

6669: The Metalhead’s Revenge! Grab your black eyeliner, fishnets, and band t-shirts and step into our vampire boudoir for a night of Satan and 69! We’ll have blood sacrifice jello shots! And the steps from The Exorcist! And we won’t even steal your soul! …Probably!

So cum 

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD

https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1369

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, August 3, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Foggy Bottom-GWU Metro (Blue/Orange/Silver). Start at the George Washington Equestrian Statue

Nearest Capital Bike Share: New Hampshire Ave & 24th St NW

Hares: Screaming Death Pussy, Schrödinger’s Impaling Cock, Immoral Satanic Support, CoCo Osbourne

Trail Details:
– Runners: About 2.6 mi. first half / 1.8 mi. second half

– Walkers: About 1.3 mi first half / 0.9 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (0.9 mi. to Rosslyn Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Rosslyn (Blue/Orange/Silver)

Last Trains Out:

Blue line to Largo: 11:55 pm

Blue line to Franconia-Springfield: 12:15 am

Silver line to Largo: 11:53 pm

Silver line to Ashburn: 12:10 am

Orange line to Vienna/Fairfax-GMU: 12:14 am

Orange line to New Carrollton: 11:51 pm

On After: The Tombs

Specials: $15 shot pitchers after 10 pm

*

EWH3 #1368: The Recycle a Trail to fight Climate Change trail, July 27, 2023, U St. Metro (Green Line)

Like climate change, the people in charge noticed this problem way too late (that they didn’t have a hare assigned to this trail).  Like climate change, the solution is simple.  Like solving climate change, the hares are hard.  Like advocates for climate change, the hare has been bitching for more than twenty years with nobody listening.  So come out on Thursday to recycle lite beer into urine and recycle this trail from years ago.    

The hares will be taking down your guesses on what date this trail originally occurred.  Price is Right rules, prize for the winner.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD

https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1368

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, July 27, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: U Street Metro (Green Line), Use the 10th St/African American War Memorial exit!

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Across the street from the Metro

Hares: Roll Over, Bitch!, USPS, SAD

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.6 mi. first half / 2.1 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.3 mi first half / 1.1 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (0.5 mi to Georgia Ave/Petworth Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Georgia Ave/Petworth

Last Trains Out:

Green Line to Branch Ave.: 11:41pm

Green Line to Greenbelt: 12:27am

On After*: Midlands Beer Garden

Specials: You’re special.

EWH3 1367: There Be Dragons, July 20, 2023, Virginia Square (Orange/Silver)

Ever wonder why they put mermaids, dragons, and lions on maps? Me neither, but it was a decent enough theme and trail title. 

The last time we were in VA Square, right before the dark ages, Atari dressed up as Elsa. Will he do it again? (No, he won’t.)

Come dressed in kilts, as dragons, with faerie wings or as mermaids! 

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1367

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, July 20, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Virginia Square-GMU Metro

Nearest Capital Bike Share: At the metro station

Hares: 
Sir Atari of the Consoles
Son of Gaybelline of the Kilts
First of His Name, 
Grand Maester to the House of White
Brewmeister of the Andals,
Songmeister of the Circles,
Lord of the Unfunny

Trail Details: 
– Runners: 2 mi. first half / 1.8 mi. second half
– Walkers: .69 mi first half / .69 mi. second half
– Shiggy: 6.69

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (.3 mi to Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun. 

End Metro: Clarendon
Last Trains Out:
Ashburn 12:15 AM
Downtown Largo 11:48 PM
New Carrollton 11:46 PM
West Falls Church 12:19 AM

On After: The Loft
Specials: Tons
*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

EWH3 1365: The 3rd Anal Spice World Trail, July 13, 2023, Wonderland Ballroom (Georgia Ave/Petworth)

Note: Trail will be one leg with no beer check. Bag drop and opening circle at WONDERLAND BALLROOM. End circle at WONDERLAND BALLROOM with beer provided until the hash cash runs out. Bring your ID.

So, here’s a story from A to Z… 27 years ago this week, the Spice Girls burst onto the scene with their iconic debut single, “Wannabe,” a song that embodies female empowerment and values friendship over fuckboys (#hoesbeforebros). Topping the charts in 37 countries and becoming the best-selling single in the world by a girl group, what us hares really, really want is for all hashers to embrace their inner spice girl and cum celebrate Girl Power. So, don’t go wasting our precious time, get your act together and rego in time!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1365

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, July 13, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Wonderland Ballroom – 1101 Kenyon St NW

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 11th & Kenyon NW

Hares: Burlington Ho Factory, Cheech and Dong, Colliteral Damage, Geriatric Mandering, and The Cumburglar!

Trail Details: 
– Runners: 1.85 mi. first half / 1.86 mi. second half
– Walkers: 0.80 mi first half / 0.96 mi. second half
– Shiggy: 0.69

There will be no real beer check for this trail! Halves are separated by a shot check, however walkers will wait for runners who wish to switch to walkers’ trail. 

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (bar to bar). Bring your ID, a cranium light, and a sense of humor. Be smart, have fun. 

End Metro: Georgia Ave/Petworth
Last Trains Out:
Green Line to Branch Ave: 11:41pm
Green Line to Greenbelt: 12:27am

On After*: Wonderland Ballroom
Specials: It’s also end circle… and start

,

EWH3 Pub Crawl 2023 : The Eras Tour

We’re enchanted to announce our next Pub Crawl: EDUB | The Eras Tour, a journey through the musical eras of our drinking career (past and present!) The first leg of the tour will be in beer gardens across NOMA, with international dates to be announced as soon as we can! Feeling like the luckiest hasher alive because we get to take these brilliant drunks out on the crawl with us: EWH3! We can’t WAIT to see your gorgeous faces out there. It’s been a long time coming.

Your rego includes the following:
– A giveaway just for this occasion
– THREE bar stops, with a drink at each
– TWO shot checks, with games and challenges
– The chance to earn glory (and prizes)
– And MORE!

Rego today!

The tour schedule is here!

2:45pm – Circle up at NoMa Metro
3pm – Bar One
Use the ticket handed to you at the bar! (Note: there is food you can buy at this stop.)
3:45 – 4:00pm –
Journey through the Ages to Shot Check
4:00-4:20pm – GAMES!
4:30pm– Bar Two (food here)
Use the ticket handed to you at the bar entrance!
5:15-5:30pm –
Musical Parade to Shot Check #2
5:45-6:30pm – Bar Three (Again… food here)
Use the ticket handed to you at the bar entrance!

Joining us late? Individuals “paying their own way” who wish to join at the final stop will be charged a reduced fee of $10 for entry. Reach out to the organizers for more information.
Theme:

Taylor Swift / Musical Eras (60s, 70s, 80s, etc.)Stuff to Bring:

GOVERNMENT ISSUED IDENTIFICATION CARD, Vessel, Musical Era Costume(s)

Cost: $45

Start Location Details

NoMa / Gallaudet U Metro

200 Florida Ave NE, Washington, DC 20002

EWH3 1364: In-dick-pendence Day, July 6, 2023, Silver Spring Metro (Red Line)

Fuck tea drink beer.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1364

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, July 6, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Silver Spring Metro Bus Station

Nearest Capital Bike Share: At the bus station

Hares: Roll Over Bitch!, USPS, Special Red

Trail Details: 
– Runners: 2.4 mi. first half / 2.1 mi. second half
– Walkers: 1.2 mi first half / 1.2 mi. second half
– Shiggy: 6.69

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ (.7 mi to Silver Spring Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun. 

End Metro: Silver Spring
Last Trains Out:
-Glenmont: 12:29am
-Shady Grove: 11:42pm

On After*: McGinty’s
Specials: TBA
*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

UPDATED! EWH3 1363: The Hash Conquers New Territory in Potomac Yard Trail, June 29, 2023, Potomac Yard (Yellow/Blue Line)

Important update about tonight’s trail!!  Because of the very poor air quality today, tonight’s trail will be a WALKER – ONLY trail.  Trail will begin at Potomac Yard Metro at the regular time and will proceed to Freddies.  There will be two shot checks on trail.  There will be late sign in after trail if you want to go directly to Freddies.  Karaoke starts at 8!

Also, there will be no bag transportation tonight, so please plan accordingly.

___________________________________________________________________________________

The yellow line has reopened, yay! And there is a new metro station for all of your hashing needs and adventures, yay! WMATA is filling holes in its plans, help us fill holes in your hash adventure map and expand your hashing territory by joining us for trail this Thursday.

But it’s so far you say!?!
Geographic Trivia Fact #1: Did you know that the areas now encompassing the entire county of Arlington and the City of Alexandria were meant to complete the diamond in the original plans for Washington, D.C. but politics of the day got in the way? You may choose to think of this trail as exploring the original Southwest DC, with shiny new metro infrastructure to get you there. 

But what’s so exciting about Potomac Yard?!?
Geographic Trivia #2: Potomac Yard was once the site of an important rail freight yard, facilitating important north to south commerce. The area is also now known for such hits as: Target, Chipotle, hot suburban MILFs, Total Wine, your awesome hares living relatively close, ending up at Freddies in Crystal City anyway, etc.

If you wanna be thematic, don your favorite state or city affiliated gear as the hash conquers virgin EWH3 territory.

NB: This trail starts at Potomac Yard, NOT Potomac Ave. Don’t end up drinking alone at Trusty’s.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1363.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, June 29, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Potomac Yard north pavilion exit, follow marks to start

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Main Line Blvd & E Glebe Rd

Hares: Lickthyologist, Whoriana’s Trench, General’s Farm Animal, Knocked Up, Vagina is for Lawyers, Close Encounters of the Turd Kind

Trail Details: 
– Runners: 2.6 mi. first half / 1.7 mi. second half
– Walkers: 1.4 mi first half / .75 mi. second half
– Shiggy: 0.69

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (.5 mi to Crystal City Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun. 

End Metro: Crystal City
Last Trains Out:
Blue Line Largo 11:46 PM
Blue Line Franconia-Springfield 12:25 AM
Yellow Line Huntington 12:11 AM
Yellow Line Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center 11:38 PM

On After*: Freddie’s
Specials: Karaoke is special
*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

EWH3 1362: *Summer Solstice/ First day of Summer pt.2*, June 22, 2023, TenleyTown AU (Red Line)

It is the one day of the year when you can say, “It’s going to be a long day,” and no one can tell you you’re wrong.

However, Mama nature said she would rather give us one more weekend of rain before melting all you wankers to the pavement. Naturally, we all he*d out anyway for some beer and margaritas!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1362

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, June 22, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: TenleyTown Metro Station. Follow marks to start.

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Wisconsin Ave, just south of Albemarle St

Hares: Lil Piggy, Head Injury, CoCo, and GoGo

Trail details: TBA

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ (.4 mi to Tenleytown Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun. 

End Metro: TenleyTown- AU
Last Trains Out:
– Glenmont 11:50 PM
– Shady Grove 12:20 AM

On After*: Guapo’s 
Specials: You are all special!
*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

EWH3 #1358: The Sixth Anal Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini Trail – June 15, 2023 – Waterfront Metro (Green Line)

School’s out! It’s hot. It’s humid. It’s summer in DC. Cool off with the biggest pool-free pool party this side of the Anacostia. Whether you prefer to BREASTstroke, Doggy (style) paddle, or just hang by the edge, prepare to get wet and wild.

For the sixth(?!) year in a row, we’ll have itsy-bitsy attire and plenty of gummy bears (and also maybe some “teeny weenies” – sorry not sorry). Cum dressed to impress in your bikinis, one piece suits, speedo, tankini, or mankini. 

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1358

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, May 25, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Waterfront Metro – Follow marks to start

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 4th & M St SW

Hares: Poon-apple Juice, General Tso’s Dicken, Dry Rub, Schrodinger’s Cock, & maybe a mystery hare

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.1 mi. first half / 2.6 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.2  mi first half / 1.2 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 1.69 – This trail has the potential to get you wet!


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes/clothes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Navy Yard-Ballpark

Last Trains Out:

Branch Ave   12:18 AM

Greenbelt      11:52 PM

On After*: Atlas Half Street Tap Room

Specials: Sources say we will not be the only r*nning group there. Be prepared for a West Side Story-style dance battle. 

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

EWH3 1357: Pride Hash (with a side of TDH!), June 8, 2023, Dupont Circle (Red line)

Important update about tonight’s trail from your hares:

Wankers!!  The Canadians are invading!  But, just with their smoke smokie smoke-ness.  It’s literally “very unhealthy” (AQI is currently 236) to play outside, and will feasibly continue to worsen.  But we will not quit!  We will muster on to the beer!!  Just more quickly and with less running.  Your options for this evening are:

Option A: Meet at Dupont at 6:45, Opening Circle at 7ish, and then enjoy a shooooort glittery trail (with a shot check!!) to the on after!  Public Bar Live on 18th St NW!

Option B: Go GAYLY to the bar at 6:45 and skip the outdoors altogether!  There will be late sign-in available!

This is now a $1 trail!  

__________

Please note: Given the current air quality alert for DC, we are monitoring the situation and will post updates on the website if changes will be made to the trail.

“The air has reached a high level of pollution and is unhealthy for sensitive groups. Reduce time spent outside if you are feeling symptoms such as difficulty breathing or throat irritation.”

__________

It’s the high holy season for your 2SLGBTQIA+ wankers (and allies alike!).

Get your progress flag on,

slap on some glitter,


and run gayly through the streets to show your pride for your queer friends!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD: https://hashrego.com/events/ewh3-1357

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, June 8, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Dupont Circle Metro – in the Circle

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Massachusetts Ave & Dupont Circle NW

Hares: Colliteral Damage, You Sucked My Battledick, Atari 6900, Cheech & Dong, Midsemester Night’s Cream

Trail Details:

*The hares are amending to a wildfire safe breathing route. If you want to huff smoky air in abundance, sign up for a camp out.*

Runners 1st Half 2.3 Mile / 2nd Half 2.2 Mile 

Walkers 1st  Half 1.0 Mile / 2nd Half 1.6 Mile 

Shiggy: .69 


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle. Sign-up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Dupont Circle 

Last Trains Out:

Red Line

– Glenmont: 12:00 AM

– Shady Grove: 12:10 AM

On After*: Public Bar Live (Public Bar Live  1214 18th street NW Washington D.C. 20036)

Specials: “Thursday Night Specials” tbd what that means. There is also a band that night in one section of the bar!

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.