Dust off your racket, don your tennis whites (as if any of you deserve to wear white), and get ready to ace this trail! Your hares are serving up a short trail to celebrate the upcumming French open, complete with beer, balls, Battlestar Galactica. Whether you want to spend your beer check grand-slamming beers or making love-love connections, the hares guarantee you’re going to get smashed!*

*Note: EWH3 does not guarantee sexual favors or minimum BAC.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, May 16, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Braddock Road, follow marks to start

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Braddock Road Metro North

Hares: Poon-apple Juice, Whoriana Trench, Jeb!utante, Dry Rub, & a Mystery Hare

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.0 mi. first half / 2.0 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.1 mi first half / 1.1 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 1.69 (yes, you’ll have to run on dirt)


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A. Bring your vessel, some balls to fondle, bug spray/sunglasses to keep the gnats out of your face, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Trail is dog friendly, with tennis balls to chase! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Braddock Road

Last Trains Out:

Downtown Largo – 11:38 PM

Franconia Springfield – 12:34 AM

Huntington – 12:19 AM

Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center – 11:30 PM

On After: T.J. Stones

Specials: Discounted wings and hundreds of beers to choose from!

It is a period of civil sobriety in the district. A brave alliance of underground freedom drinkers has challenged the tyranny and oppression of the awesome MUGGLE EMPIRE.

Striking from a bar hidden among the billion shiggy of the galaxy, rebel hashers have won their first victory in a battle with the powerful Imperial Beerfleet. The EMPIRE fears that another defeat could bring a thousand more kennels into the rebellion, and Imperial control over the district would be lost forever.

To crush the rebellion once and for all, the EMPIRE is constructing a sinister new brew station. Powerful enough to destroy an entire liver, its completion spells certain doom for the champions of hashing.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, May 2, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Gateway Park,1300 Lee Hwy, Arlington, VA 22209 

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 19th St N & Ft Myer Dr 

Hares: Jedi Knights Dry Rub & Vegetarian (Consular), Atari 6900 (Nerf Hurder)

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.45 mi. first half / 2.45 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.8 mi first half / 1.8 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 4.69


Miscellaneous Crap:
Trail is A to A (1 block to Rosslyn Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro:
Rosslyn Metro

Last Trains Out:

Ashburn 12:09 AM

Blue Line to Downtown Largo 11:55 PM

Silver Line to Downtown Largo 11:53 PM

Franconia-Springfield 12:16 AM

New Carrollton 11:51 PM

Vienna/Fairfax-GMU 12:13 AM

On After: Continental Pool Lounge

Specials: These are not the Deals you were looking for…

Calling all tree huggers and nature lovers! Do you love the smells of the outdoors? Do you love the feeling of the raw earth beneath your feet? Do you love rummaging through the bush (Like I did with your mom last night?)? Then get ready to embark on a wild journey through Rock Creek Park as we celebrate Mother Earth! 

As we venture deeper into the heart of this pristine forest, let the whispers of the wind and the chorus of the critters guide us along our way. But fear not, fellow drinkers, for our destination lies not just in the beauty of the trees and the babbling brook, but in a hidden gem (beer) that’s sure to quench both our thirst and our thirst for adventure!

This trail goes through hiking trails in the park, expect roots, rocks, and uneven ground! A cranium light is a must for runners!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, April 25, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Squirrel Park (Follow marks from Van Ness-UDC)

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Connecticut Ave & Tilden St NW

Hares: How Much Wood Could a Woodchuck Fuck, Burlington Ho Factory, Stain Gretzky, The Cumburglar!, Jeb!utante

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.26 mi. first half / 2.46 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.28 mi first half / 1.47 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 2.69


Miscellaneous Crap:
Trail is A to Z (1.1 mi to Georgia Ave/Petworth Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, dry shoes, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro:
Georgia Ave/Petworth

Last Trains Out:

Branch Ave – 11:41 PM

Greenbelt – 12:27 AM

On After*: Lyman’s 

Specials: They’ve got cheap beer and pinball!

Calling all Real Hashwives! Welcome to the ultimate Reality TV Trail, where hash meets the thrill of your favorite reality shows! Immerse yourself in the excitement and drama of the small screen’s biggest hits, from Big Brother to Chopped to The Bachelor. Whether you’re vying for victory or villianhood, every step brings you closer to influencer fame. Channel your inner Amazing Race contestant as you solve checks, form alliances, and race against your need for beer. Brace yourself for a Fear Factor shot check, a spill the tea end circle, and reunion episode you can’t miss at the On-After. 

So gather your tribe, don your buffs, and get ready to compete in true reality show style- or just commit white collar crime. Will you accept this beer?

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, April 18, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Federal Center SW

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 4th & E St SW

Hares: Vagetarian, Jebutante, Crocs On-Crocs Off, Close Encounters of the Turd Kind, Poon-apple Juice

Trail Details:
– Runners: 3.26 mi. first half / 2.27 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.47 mi first half / 1.30 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to Z (0.5 mi to Archives-Navy Memorial-Penn Quarter Metro or 0.4 mi to Judiciary Square). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Archives-Navy Memorial-Penn Quarter

Last Trains Out:

Branch Ave- 11:52 PM

Greenbelt- 12:16 AM

Huntington- 12:00 AM

Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center- 11:49 PM

End Metro: Judiciary Square

Last Trains Out:

Glenmont- 12:10 AM

Shady Grove- 12:00 AM

On After: Hamilton’s Bar and Grill (233 2nd St NW, Washington, DC 20001)

Specials: Green Tea shots on Vag for those who spill good tea at the reunion episode.

Announcements:

– Hares needed May 16! Email the Hare Razor to claim the date! 

– Hash flash is back (and better than ever!) – Check out the most recent albums here

– Helper Hares needed! Email the Hare Razor to sign up and get paired with an alpha hare in need. Ready to alpha your own trail? Reach out to secure a date!

Now for your regularly scheduled programming:


Are you recovering from a big homecumming weekend, or weekend sitting at home wondering, “where is everyone?” What better way to exercise your legs and liver than to come on out to Potomac Yard (that’s in Virginia) on Thursday for the WIE-covery trail. This is attempt two at the first EWH3 trail in this territory, so fingers crossed we don’t have any natural disasters (other than post-WIE hashers) join us at trail this week.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD 

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, April 11, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Potomac Yard north pavilion exit, follow marks to start

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Main Line Blvd & E Glebe Rd

Hares: Lickthyologist, Whoriana’s Trench, Too Easy, Blows a Tranny, General’s Farm Animal, Beer and a Bag Full of Dildoes – Good Times! 

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.6 mi. first half / 1.7 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.4 mi first half / .75 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap:
Trail is A to B (.5 mi to Crystal City Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle (maybe some Pedialyte..). Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro:
Crystal City

Last Trains Out:

Blue Line Largo 11:46 PM

Blue Line Franconia-Springfield 12:25 AM

Yellow Line Huntington 12:11 AM

Yellow Line Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center 11:38 PM

On After: Freddie’s

Specials: Karaoke is special

Hares needed May 2 & May 16Email the Hare Razor to claim the date! 

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Are you tired of your day job? Can’t wait for WIE this weekend? Well, start your weekend early, be like Ken, and make beach your job until Monday morning! Come on trail in your best beach or Ken attire thirsty for some sweet golden nectar!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, April 4, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Eastern Market

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 7th & North Carolina Ave SE

Hares: Ruth Masturbader Ginsberg, Sir Lancelittle, Tuneless

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.5/2.3
– Walkers: 1.45/1.3
– Shiggy: 0.69

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B (Navy Yard). Bring a cranium lamp, vessel, thirst for our favorite beverage, surfboards and sunnies! Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Navy Yard – Ballpark
Last Trains Out:
Branch Ave 12:18 AM
Greenbelt 11:52 PM

On After: The Big Stick
Specials: Beer Buckets – Buy any 5 of the same bottles/cans for the price of 4!

Welcum to the First Anal Anythingaversary Trail!  For your alpha co-hares, it’s the 1st Analversary of our White Dress Run, but we don’t want to limit this trail to our celebration, we want to celebrate all of the things!  Pick anything you wouldn’t ordinarily, or haven’t but would like to, celebrate as an anniversary and bring that joy to trail!  

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, March 28, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Brookland Metro, follow marks to start

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 10th & Monroe St NE

Hares: Colliteral Damage, Honey Bunches of C*nt, Geriatricmandering, Son, What the F*ck!

Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.75  mi. first half / 2.3 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.2 mi first half / 1.5 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (0.4 mi to Brookland Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, a full water bottle, and something to celebrate. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Brookland 

Last Trains Out:

Glenmont – 12:19 AM

Shady Grove – 11:51 AM

On After: Brookland Pint

Specials: You’re Anythingaversary!

This week we are celebrating our favorite Disney Channel Original Movies! From Halloweentown to Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century to the GOAT of DCOMs – High School Musical, there are so many feel-good, cringy films to choose from. Dress as your favorite character and maybe be prepared to audition for the Hash Summer Musicale?? 

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, March 21, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 5th and K Street NW

Hares: Jeb!utante, Poon-apple Juice, Vegetarian, The Cumburglar!, No Strings Attached

Trail Details:
– Runners: TBD but around 2 mi. first half / TBD but around 2 mi. second half 

– Walkers: TBD but around 1 mi first half / TBD but around 1 mi. second half

– Shiggy: .69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and the song that’s in your heart. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Shaw-Howard University

Last Trains Out:

Branch Ave 11:47PM

Greenbelt 12:20AM

On After: Ivy and ConeySpecials: u r special

Pi has been around for almost 4000 years, but let’s talk about the real pie-timeline! Back in ancient Babylon, they thought pi was a neat and tidy 3. Then along came Archimedes, who played the world’s first game of ‘Guess the Pi’ and landed somewhere between 3 1/7 and 3 10/71. Ptolemy added his two cents, giving us 3.1416, probably after a heated debate with Archimedes at the math club. Not to be left out, Zu Chongzhi, a brilliant Chinese mathematician and astronomer, took a similar approach to calculating pi, showing that mathematical genius knows no cultural bounds.

Meanwhile, in a parallel pastry universe, the Egyptians were baking what we now call pies, and the Greeks were flexing their culinary skills, possibly while debating the finer points of geometry. Fast forward to Thanksgiving in 1621, where the pilgrims didn’t have pumpkin pie but were chowing down on meat pies like it was going out of style. The colonists loved pies so much they used them as winter food storage units. Talk about a crusty situation! And what’s more American than apple pie? Well, actually, it’s pretty English. But hey, we’ll still claim it as our own. Because in the end, whether it’s math or dessert, everyone wants a piece of the pie!

Join us this Thursday for a pie in the sky trail to celebrate all things π and pie!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, March 14, 2023. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Lyman’s Tavern. 3720 14th St NW, Washington, DC 20010 (Closest metro Georgia Ave-Petworth, ½ a mile from start)

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 4th St & Spring Rd NW

Hares: Lickthyologist, Atari 6900, Tumey McBoatface, Head Injury, possible mystery hares

Trail Details:
– Runners: 3.14 miles 

– Walkers: 1.69 miles  

– Shiggy: 0.14159265359

Bag drop at Lyman’s will start at 6:45, with the opening circle out front at 7:15. Someone will be appointed to stay with the bags, in lieu of a bag van. There will be no real beer check for this trail! Halves are separated by a shot check, however walkers will wait for runners who wish to switch to walkers’ trail.


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (bar to bar). Bring your ID, a cranium light, and a sense of humor. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: George Ave-Petworth Metro (Green Line)

Last Trains Out:

Branch Ave 11:41 PM

Greenbelt 12:27 AM

On After: Lyman’s

Specials: You are special.

March is here and the weather is changing. You know what that means… Baseball season is upon us. Even if it’s not your thing, you might as well come out this Thursday to experience some of the first green you’ve seen in a while as we take a trip through South DC, passing all kinds of parks and sports fields.

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO IF PAYING BY CARD.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, March 7, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Waterfront Metro

Nearest Capital Bike Share: 4th and M St SW

Hares: Tumey McBoatFace, How Much Wood Could a Woodchuck Fuck?, TBD

Trail Details:
– Runners: 1.8 mi. first half / 2.4 mi. second half
– Walkers: 1.1 mi. first half / 1.3 mi. second half
– Shiggy: 0.69

Miscellaneous Crap:
Trail is A to B

On After: Solace Outpost
Specials: You’re Special.