EWH3 #611: College Park Metro Trail – Thursday, September 30, 2010 
 
Where: College Park Metro — Green Line. Take a deep breath. Be one with being outside of DC…and follow chalk marks from the metro exit to the start
 
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, September 30, 2010. Pack away at 7:15ish. 
 
Hares:  Holy Tit!, Generals Farm Animal, and Looney Soccer Dad
 
Misc: A to A’, Dark, wet, and full of shiggy – just like your little sister. Tough dog friendly. An important albeit lengthy note from your alpha hare:
 
Preamble.  The Hare encourages everyone to stay home as he doesn’t want to hear your bitching and moaning and crying.  If I wanted to hear bitching and moaning and crying I’d still be married.
 
Note 1: This weeks trail is going to feature many off-road sections. 
 
Note 2: See Note 1.  These sections will not have street lights.  It will be dark.  Everyone (walkers and r*nners) attending will fall into two groups, those who are happy they have a working flashlight/headlamp, and those who really wish they had a working flashlight/headlamp.
 
Note 3:  See Note 1.  These sections will might not be dry.  They might be wet.  Okay, who am I kidding, they will be wet.  Everyone (walkers and r*nners) attending will fall into two groups, those who are happy they brought dry clothes/shoes, and those who really wish they had dry clothes/shoes.
 
Note 4: See Notes 1, 2, & 3.  This weeks shenanigans is going to feature walkers, turkey, and eagle trails.
 
R*nners – If you are a p*ssy do not r*n the eagle trail.  If you think you are p*ssy or if your friends tell you that you are a p*ssy, do not r*n the eagle trail.  If you are a big p*ssy do not r*n the turkey trail either, instead you should consider the walkers trail, it’s just right for you Goldilocks.
 
Walkers – You are all p*ssies and should stay home.  See Preamble and Notes 1, 2, & 3.
 
OnOnOn:
Rinaldi’s Riverdale Bowl, aka the Riverdale Bowling Alley
6322 Kenilworth Ave
Riverdale, Maryland 20737
(301) 864-5940
 
Specials: An actual ending spot in the middle of no where! Trust me, that’s pretty damn special. NOTE…the OnOnOn is exactly 1 mile (according to the great Google) from the Metro. Much like Georgina’s but with less sketch and more Maryland.
 
Last train to Branch Ave (into DC): 11:33 PM

EWH3 #610: Arlington Cemetery Trail – Thursday, September 23, 2010 
 
Where: Arlington Cemetery Metro — Blue Line. Follow chalk marks from the metro exit to the start…and look for 100 of your closest friends standing around looking irreverent.
 
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, September 23, 2010. Pack away at 7:15ish. 
 
Hares:  My Little Pony, I’ll Packa, Silver Spooge, Peter Peter Manhole Eater, and Just Lauren.
 
Misc: A to B, One noted “tricky” dog area…otherwise ok for your pup. Please note your hares have told me to emphasize: HEADLAMPS, HEADLAMPS, HEADLAMPS. DRY SHOES, DRY SHOES, DRY SHOES. And a strong will and a strong liver…but we always have those, uhhhh, right? 
 
OnOnOn:
(the lovely and always friendly) Continental
1911 N. Fort Myer Drive
Arlington, VA 22209
703-465-7675
 
Specials: I was told to say “Virginia is special because it’s for lovers” but I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
 

————————————-
DC Area Upcumming Hash Events:
 
1) CHECK OUT BeltwayBob Hash Happy Hour http://www.dchashing.com/community/beltwaybob/  Tell them EWH3 sent you and then drink everyone else under the table.

2) Red Dress Run Registration Open! Oct 9, 2010 ~ Almost 400 signed up so far (79 signed up from EWH3… the largest DC contingent thus far!!!), sign up now before the price goes up again!
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16490&cat=288&page=1
 
3) Lingerie Run (aka Red Dress Run Pre-lube) Registration Open! Oct 8, 2010 ~ Already over a 100 signed up, don’t miss the party before the party! https://store.hashspace.com/dcfullmoon
 

EWH3 #609: Bethesda Trail – Thursday, September 16, 2010 
 
Where: Bethesda Metro — Red Line. Follow chalk marks from the metro exit to the start try not be scared of all the red Mary-land commies and find a group of wankers dressed up for a hash themed hash.
 
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, September 16, 2010. Pack away at 7:15ish. 
 
Hares: Rear Protein Injection, Presidential Nasty, RhinoBlastMe, RU-469? and Just Bradley
 
Misc: A to A’, Dog Friendly. Dress like a runner and for god’s sakes BRING A HEADLAMP! (it’s getting dark early these days, and I’m sick of playing ‘Mom’…gotta switch up roles, or else role playing loses it’s mystique). Hares didn’t see any PI on trail but you can never be too careful…er, something… 
 
OnOnOn:
Tommy Joe’s
4714 Montgomery Lane
Bethesda, MD 20814-5385
(301) 654-3801
 
Specials: $3.50 on ALL drafts (including Guinness, Bass and Stella) and 1/2 Price Wings & Nachos
 
Last trains: 11:47 inbound (to DC in dumb-speak) 12:23 outbound (farther out into Commie land)
 
————————————-
DC Area Upcumming Hash Events:
 
1) So Happy Its Tuesday (SHIT) H3 Annual General Meeting Registration Open! Sept 11, 2010. This event has been called the best bang for your buck, don’t miss out!
http://sohappyh.s459.sureserver.com/SHIT_8thAGM.php
 
2) Red Dress Run Registration Open! Oct 9, 2010 ~ Almost 400 signed up so far (79 signed up from EWH3… the largest DC contingent thus far!!!), sign up now before the price goes up again!
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16490&cat=288&page=1
 
3) Lingerie Run (aka Red Dress Run Pre-lube) Registration Open! Oct 8, 2010 ~ Already over a 100 signed up, don’t miss the party before the party!https://store.hashspace.com/dcfullmoon

EWH3 #608: The Grumpy Old (hot) Men Hash- Thursday, September 9, 2010 

Where: Tenleytown Metro — Red Line. Follow chalk marks from the metro exit to the start or follow the smell of Bengay and beer.

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, September 9, 2010. Pack away at 7:15ish. 

Hares: BoloheadRat, WaxOnWaxOff, PutItOut, BigBang and MondayStickyMonday

Misc: A to A’, Possibly dog friendly? Ask WoWo if Maisey can run it…then your dog probably can too. Come prepared to listen to the old guys tell us how much better the hash was back when they started. Oh and also, bring the usual hash supplies and make sure to the throw a headlamp in, it’s easier to see the old men (and hash) that way.

OnOnOn:
The Dancing Crab
4615 Wisconsin Ave 
Washington, DC 20016, USA
(202) 244-1882

LAST TRAIN inbound metro 11:52.

Specials: $8 pitchers Miller and assorted eats — they’re keeping kitchen open until 11 for us.

————————————-
DC Area Upcumming Hash Events:

1) So Happy Its Tuesday (SHIT) H3 Annual General Meeting Registration Open! Sept 11, 2010. This event has been called the best bang for your buck, don’t miss out!
http://sohappyh.s459.sureserver.com/SHIT_8thAGM.php

2) Red Dress Run Registration Open! Oct 9, 2010 ~ Almost 400 signed up so far (79 signed up from EWH3… the largest DC contingent thus far!!!), sign up now before the price goes up again!
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16490&cat=288&page=1

3) Lingerie Run (aka Red Dress Run Pre-lube) Registration Open! Oct 8, 2010 ~ Already over a 100 signed up, don’t miss the party before the party!https://store.hashspace.com/dcfullmoon

EWH3 #607: The Super Villain Trail – Thursday, September 2, 2010 
 
Where: Potomac Ave. Metro—Orange/Blue Line. Follow chalk marks from the metro exit to the start and look for a lot of people who like to play dress up
 
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, September 2, 2010. Pack away at 7:15ish. 
 
Hares: Sargeant Tackleberry and Evil League of Evil also known as: Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack, 6 Pigs in a Blanket, Pee on Your Colada and RhinoBlastMe
 
Misc: A-B.  No Dogs on the First Half of Runners Trail!!!  Yes, this is a themed hash, so come dressed to impress as your favorite (or made up) super villain! A note from your harerazor: If you dress up like The Monarch, I will love you  forever (read: take you home and love you long time). Also, make sure to bring headlamps people…it’s becoming that time of year again.
 
OnOnOn:
Remington’s
639 Pennsylvania Ave SE,
Washington, DC 20003, USA
Phone: (202) 543-3113 
 
Specials: $2 Bud Lights (the official beer of villainy)
 
 
————————————-
DC Area Upcumming Hash Events:
 
1) 17th Anal Dewey Beach Labor Day ash House Harriers Hash – Sunday, Sept 5, 2010 at 11:00 am
WHAT: 17th Anal Dewey Beach H3’s Labor Day Run
WHERE: Rehoboth Beach Visitor Center, 501 Rehoboth Ave. Rehoboth Beach 
WHEN: Sunday, September 5, 2010 at 11:00 A.M. (at 11:31, we’ll be gone)
HARE: Extra Creamy Dog Crap
TARE: $10 covers run, beer, food, beer.
TRAIL: A to B (ends in Dewey Beach)
 
2) So Happy Its Tuesday (SHIT) H3 Annual General Meeting Registration Open! Sept 11, 2010. This event has been called the best bang for your buck, don’t miss out!
http://sohappyh.s459.sureserver.com/SHIT_8thAGM.php
 
3) Red Dress Run Registration Open! Oct 9, 2010 ~ Almost 400 signed up so far (79 signed up from EWH3… the largest DC contingent thus far!!!), sign up now before the price goes up again!
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16490&cat=288&page=1
 
4) Lingerie Run (aka Red Dress Run Pre-lube) Registration Open! Oct 8, 2010 ~ Already over a 100 signed up, don’t miss the party before the party!https://store.hashspace.com/dcfullmoon

EWH3 #606: The “Assflac will kill ASMA if this trail sucks” trail – Thursday, August 26, 2010 

Where: Courthouse Metro– Orange Line. Follow chalk marks from the metro exit to the start and look for a lot of people who should know better than to run an ASMA trail.
 
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, August 26, 2010. Pack away at 7:15ish. 
 
Hares: A-Salt My Ass, Chip ‘n Failz, Wanks like an Egyptian, Just Leslie
 
Misc: A-B.  Tough dog friendly.  Dry shoes for after and headlamp for during strongly encouraged. And now a note from your hares: Paying tribute to the fact that hashing is awesome enough to stand up on its own, this weeks theme will be “pay us $5 to run our trail and drink our beer.” As much as we’d love to tell you that this trail is short, flat, and dry (just like your sister), we love to tell you even more that it’d be good idea to bring a change of shoes/socks and headlamps; don’t feel left out, walkers, this includes you!

OnOnOn:
Caribbean Breeze
4100 N Fairfax Dr.,
Arlington, VA 22203
(703) 812-7997
 
Specials: $2 12oz Miller Lite drafts, $3 16oz Tecate cans. They also have cornhole and beer pong.
 
————————————-
DC Area Upcumming Hash Events:
 
1) So Happy Its Tuesday (SHIT) H3 Annual General Meeting Registration Open! Sept 11, 2010. This event has been called the best bang for your buck, don’t miss out!
http://sohappyh.s459.sureserver.com/SHIT_8thAGM.php
2) Red Dress Run Registration Open! Oct 9, 2010 ~ Almost 400 signed up so far (79 signed up from EWH3… the largest DC contingent thus far!!!), sign up now before the price goes up again!
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16490&cat=288&page=1
 
3) Lingerie Run (aka Red Dress Run Pre-lube) Registration Open! Oct 8, 2010 ~ Already over a 100 signed up, don’t miss the party before the party!
https://store.hashspace.com/dcfullmoon
———————————-

 Explanation of trail (sort of):

 Four score and um…just 12 years ago, our beloved Bubba – a one such Mr. William Jefferson (Blythe III) Clinton – went on the boobtube (8/17/1998) to admit to his affair with one such Monica Slutinsky (read: the best intern ever!). Why did Bubba, one skilled lawyer who posed the amazingly smart statement of “it depends on what your definition of is is,” admit to schtupping his office help? Simply because of one sad little white stain on a blue Gap dress that belonged to Ms. Monica. AND THUS, the idea for a hash was born!
 
So dawn a blue dress….or if you don’t have the balls, wear a blue shirt you don’t mind getting dirty. Bring something white (read: whiteout, white tempera paint, icing, or some such white liquid that does not come from a body part) to claim your territory with. And get ready to use cigars in a manner that makes most fetish porn stars proud.  

EWH3 #605: EWH3’s First Anal Blue Dress Trail – Thursday, August 19, 2010
 
Where: Foggy Bottom Metro– BLUE! and Orange Lines. Follow chalk marks from the metro exit to the start and look for lots of lost “interns” wearing blue dresses.
 
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, August 19, 2010. Pack away at 7:15ish. 
 
Hares: Slumcock Anywhere, General’s Farm Animal, Can’t Find P*ssy in a Haystack, Just Jamie, and Just Allison.
 
Misc: A-B’. Dog friendly. Channel your inner slutty intern, wear a blue dress, and bring some non-bodily white stain! Urban shiggy. First 50 people to circle will get a give away. 
 
OnOnOn:
The Exchange Saloon
1719 G Street Northwest
Washington, DC 20006
(202) 393-4690
 
Specials: Be nice to our bartender Chris, and trust me he’ll be nice to you. $10 pitchers and possibly more specials TBD. 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
DC Area Upcumming Hash Events:
 
1) Red Dress Run Registration Open! Oct 9, 2010 ~ Over 300 signed up so far (71 from EWH3… the largest DC contingent thus far!!!), sign up now before the price goes up again!
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16490&cat=288&page=1
 
2) Lingerie Run (aka Red Dress Run Pre-lube) Registration Open! Oct 8, 2010 ~ Already over a 100 signed up, don’t miss the party before the party!
https://store.hashspace.com/dcfullmoon
 
3)17th Annual Beerly Legal Virginia Interhash
August 20-22, 2010, Chesapeake, VA
Rego: $70
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16501&cat=256&page=1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EWH3 #604: Franconia/Springfield Metro Trail – Thursday, August 12, 2010
 
Where: Franconia/Springfield Metro — the verrrrry end of the Blue Line. Follow chalk marks from the metro exit to the start and look for people wondering how much a cab back to the city will cost.
 
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, August 12, 2010. Pack away at 7:15ish. 
 
Hares: Double Ohhh Positive, Eat Your Vegetables, Purple Peter Eater and a Mystery Hare.
 
Misc: A-A’. Tough I-eat-sh*t-for- breakfast-dog friendly. A message from your alpha hare: Runners and walkers need to bring dry cloths and shoes..and extra if it decides to rain, again.  Head lamps, Head Lamps, Head lamps.  PI, yes there is PI I am sure there is more than we saw and I know people don’t stay on trail. TechNu and all other PI fighting products are highly advised.  No flip flops or sandals on this trail.  Lots of shiggy.

OnOnOn:
Lucky’s Sports Theatre & Grill
7027 B Manchester Blvd
Franconia, VA 22310
(P) 703-922-0404
 
Specials: Booooo VA not letting us have booze specials. Grill closes at 10:00 pm but late night menu goes until 1:00 am. 

EWH3 #602: National Underwear Day Trail – Thursday, August 5, 2010
 
Where: Dupont Circle Metro — Red Line. Follow chalk marks from the metro exit to the start and look for people laughing/gawking/snickering/drooling over a large group of wankers in their underwear.
 
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, August 5, 2010. Pack away at 7:15ish. 
 
Hares: Rambutt, Motor Mouth, Sphincter Shy and Safeword
 
Misc: A-Z. Urban running in your underwear. I’m assuming it’s dog friendly…ask your hare for more detail. Bring a change of clothes…or clothes to put on…no shoes, no shirt, no service at the OnOnOn.
 
OnOnOn:
Jenny’s Asian Fusion
1000 Water Street, SW
Washington, D.C. 20024
202-554-2202
 
 
Specials: TBD
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
DC Area Upcumming Hash Events:
 
1) Red Dress Run Registration Open! Oct 9, 2010 ~ Over 300 signed up so far (71 from EWH3… the largest DC contingent thus far!!!), sign up now before the price goes up again!
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16490&cat=288&page=1
 
2) Lingerie Run (aka Red Dress Run Pre-lube) Registration Open! Oct 8, 2010 ~ Already over a 100 signed up, don’t miss the party before the party!
https://store.hashspace.com/dcfullmoon
 
3) SAVE THE DATE – Beer Mile – August 13th
 
4)17th Annual Beerly Legal Virginia Interhash
August 20-22, 2010, Chesapeake, VA
Rego: $70
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16501&cat=256&page=1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EWH3 #602: Van Ness/UDC Metro Trail – Thursday, July 29, 2010
 
Where: Van Ness Street Metro (not Van Dorn, that was last week) — Red/Rouge/Rojo/Rosso/Czerwony/Aka Line. Follow chalk marks from the metro exit to the start.
 
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, July 29, 2010. Pack away at 7:15ish. 
 
Hares: General Ass Pounder, Pussy Longstockings, Six Fags, Six Pigs in a Blanket, and a mystery hare
 
Misc: A-B. Tough dog friendly; possible PI, probable arachnoid presence, change of shoes recommended, change of personality possible (and also recommended).
 
OnOnOn:
Atomic Billards
3427 Connecticut Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20008-1314
(202) 363-7665
www.atomicbilliards.com/

Specials: $3 PBR (Heineken shmeineken) and possible other specials.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
DC Area Upcumming Hash Events:
 
1) Red Dress Run Registration Open! Oct 9, 2010 ~ Over 300 signed up so far (71 from EWH3… the largest DC contingent thus far!!!), sign up now before the price goes up again!
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16490&cat=288&page=1
 
2) Lingerie Run (aka Red Dress Run Pre-lube) Registration Open! Oct 8, 2010 ~ Already over a 100 signed up, don’t miss the party before the party!
https://store.hashspace.com/dcfullmoon
 
3) SAVE THE DATE – Beer Mile – August 13th
 
4)17th Annual Beerly Legal Virginia Interhash
August 20-22, 2010, Chesapeake, VA
Rego: $70
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16501&cat=256&page=1