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On March 3, 1845, Florida was admitted to the Union as the 27th state.  In one fell swoop, numerous intrepid individuals became part of our national story.  Yes, those individuals who often find themselves under the influence, having sex in public while armed, then sleeping off their exertions in a bathtub in a house they have attempted to burgle.  That’s right:  Florida Man! 

Have you ever found yourself wondering what it is like to:

If so, join us for a dash through Columbia Heights!

YOU MUST SIGN UP AND PAY VIA HASH REGO (link).

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, March 3, 2022. Pack away at 7:15 PM!

Where: Columbia Heights Metro – Exit 14th Street Northbound/Pleasant Plains.  Follow marks to start! 

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Park Road NW & Holmead Place NW or 14th Street NW & Irving Street NW 

Hares: Head Injury, Infidellatio, The Defense Breasts, and maybe a mystery hare.

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.2 mi. first half / 2.2 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.1 mi first half / 1.0 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 0.69


Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ (0.7 mi to start metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Petworth Metro (Green & Yellow Lines) 

Last Trains Out:

Greenbelt (Green Line): 12:30am

Branch Avenue (Green Line: 11:42pm

Huntington (Yellow Line): 11:45pm

On After*: Midlands Beer Garden (3333 Georgia Ave. NW). Midlands has both indoor and outdoor seating options. If you plan to come to the On After, masks are required and proof of vaccination is recommended. As of 2/15/22, indoor venues may choose to keep vaccine requirements in place. 

Specials: You are special.

*On Afters are an unofficial hash adjacent event. Please use your best adult judgment to decide about your participation.

Upcoming Events!

  • WIE is back! Back to the Future that is. April 1-3 in Ocean City. Rego Now

Hab of the Week!

Purchase this week’s hab item at a discounted price. Limited quantities available, so get ’em while they last! You can purchase when you rego to pick up at trail!

Give Back to the Hash!  

  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Brews require brew crews! Email ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to keep the hash alive. See the EWH3 calendar for dates.
  • ADOPT A METRO! Love to explore? We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential Beverage Checks and On-Ins and check them out. Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com

Did you really cum all the way here for this? Sign up to receive trail announcements directly to your inbox by emailing ewh3harerazor@gmail.com!

As the CDC and DC Health continues to update and revise guidelines, Mismanagement is working to determine how the hash fits into these recommendations. For this reason, masks are optional for fully vaccinated individuals. As always, vessels are required. Remember to rego via Hash Rego before trail!

Hashers, not Trashers! – It’s hot, and drinking wateris smart BUT prepackaged bottle waterisn’t so environmentally friendly! Luckily, your brew crew is offering a state of the art “WaterTransport System.” Simply bring a full reusable water bottle to start, place it in the waterbin, and your waterwill be magically transported along the trail for you to access at beer check and end. Help us do our part to keep Mother Earth happy and healthy!

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It’s hot. It’s humid. It’s summer in DC. Cool off with the biggest pool-free pool part this side of the Anacostia. Whether you prefer to BREASTstroke, Doggy (style) paddle, or just hang by the edge, prepare to get wet and wild.

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For the THIRD year in a “row,” we’ll have itsy-bitsy attire and plenty of gummy bears (and also maybe some “teeny weenies” – sorry not sorry). Cum dressed to impress in your bikinis, one piece suits, speedo, tankini, or mankini. Be ready for some WAP ‘n’ Roll! 

You MUST sign up on HashRego to attend Thursday’s trail.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, July 15, 2021. Pack away at 7:15 PM!

Where: Navy Yard Metro (M & New Jersey – DOT Exit) – follow marks to start!
Bus Option: P6
Nearest Capital Bike Share: M St & New Jersey Ave SE

Hares: Poon-apple Juice, Schrödinger’s Cock, Slurpee the Large Mouth Lass, 9021-ho, Just Alex

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.1 mi. first half / 1.8 second half
– Walkers: 1.1 mi. first half / 0.9 second half
– No shiggy, but trail will go through public splash zones (fountains, pools, and ponds)
– Trail is dog-friendly, and so is on after, but do you really want to smell a wet dog all night? (Present company excluded)

Miscellaneous Crap:
Trail is A to A’ (0.5 miles). You WILL get wet! It should be a nice summer night. Pack smartly and bring you water wings, mug, and FULL WATER BOTTLE! Sign up on Hash Rego is Required! Be smart, have fun.

Last Transportation from Waterfront:
– Branch Ave 11:18 PM
– Greenbelt 10:52 PM
– double check your apps!

On After: Patio at Walter’s Sports Bar – 10th N St SE

Specials: $5 select drafts, wine, and rail cocktails


Give Back to the Hash!

  • ADOPT A METRO! We need hashers to walk/jog/bike/drive to potential spots for Beverage Checks and On-Ins. Do a good job and your next trail is free! Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com for details
  • BREW CREW! Do you enjoy those beverages on trail? Email the Brewmeister at ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com to earn the noble badge of Brew Crew! Open dates cumming up!
  • HARES! Ready to get your hands dirty and lay your own shitty trail? The Harerazor can match you with a trail that needs extra hands or can help you plan your own! Email ewh3harerazor@gmail.com. Now allowing trails the ‘DC Diamond’ (aka Arlington County).
  • STAY SAFE! Review Everyday is Wednesday’s updated COVID-19 guide here before joining us on trail.

For general questions on hashing, email us questions at ewh3info@gmail.com.

Want the trail announcement emailed to you? Sign up for the trail announcement listserve here!


Where: Silver Spring Metro – exit on the bus station side, not the NOAA side. Follow marks to circle!

Hares: Special Head Kid, Pinochi-ho, Cum Dumpling, maybe others

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’ (you can easily walk to the metro from End Circle or the On-After). No PI seen by hares, dog friendly, stroller friendly, crippled gimp friendly. Low shiggy. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Silver Spring:
to Glenmont at 11:58 PM,
or to Shady Grove 11:12 PM
Red

On After: The Fire Station 1 Restaurant, and Bar at 8131 Georgia Ave, Silver Spring

Specials: There will be some! And there was much rejoicing.


For general questions on hashing, email us questions at ewh3info@gmail.com.

Want the trail announcement emailed to you? Sign up for the trail announcement listserve here!


When: 6:45 PM Thursday, December 21st, 2017. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Cleveland Park Metro, behind California Tortilla (3501 Connecticut Ave., NW) – Use the East side exit and follow marks to start.

Hares: Tuck Tuck Deuce, Red Vag of Courage, I’m Tho Thor, Sorest Rump, You Only Cum Once, and PIO

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Tenleytown Metro

Glenmont 11:19 PM

Shady Grove 11:51 PM

On After: Guapo’s

Specials: Guapo’s special for Jumbo Margaritas = $13.95. Usually $16. Beer specials TBA


For general questions on hashing, email us questions at ewh3info@gmail.com.

Want the trail announcement emailed to you? Sign up for the trail announcement listserve here!


Prepare your liver and gird your loins! This week’s hares present The EDubs turns 18 (so maybe Roy Moore will stop bothering us now) Trail!(Alternate themes that did not make cut: “Tonight we’re going to party like it’s 1999, “Old guys haring: a date that will live in infamy”, “Running around drinking on a school night” and “Yule log schmuull log, burn it all”)

Cum out and celebrate with a bunch of veteran wankers who may or may not vaguely remember 1999 and when everyday is Wednesday actually hashed on Wednesday.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday December 7th, 2017. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Virginia Square Metro (Orange and Silver lines) — follow marks to start

Hares: Big Bang, Blows A Tranny, Duck Job, Monday Sticky Monday, Put It Out, Wax On Wacks Off and a Mystery Hare!

Miscellaneous Crap: Live A to B trail over hill and dale past more tacky Christmas lights than you can shake your cane at. Multiple stops for merriment in store. Maybe some old school EWH3 traditions too. Bring a lamp cuz it’s dark and bring warm clothes cuz it’s December.

On After: Buffalo Wild Wings (950 N Glebe Rd)

Specials: $4 22 oz domestics & $4 apps 10pm to close


For general questions on hashing, email us questions at ewh3info@gmail.com.

Want the trail announcement emailed to you? Sign up for the trail announcement listserve here!


Did you know that male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, but female reindeer don’t? So that ugly sweater you have of humping reindeer is a whole lot kinkier than you thought. And  Thursdayis your chance to wear it! That’s right, for the third year in a row, we are giving you the chance to wear your tackiest, ugliest, or most hideous holiday sweater on a winter wonderland romp through the wilds of Capitol Hill!

When: Thursday November 30th, 2017. Pack away at 7:15

Where: Eastern Market Metro (Blue, Orange, and Silver Lines) – follow marks to start!

Hares: Head Injury, A Midsemester Night’s Cream, Cheech & Dong, Issues & Tissues, La Gingeracha, and Rosetta Bone.

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. No PI was seen whilst scouting.  Runner’s and Walker’s trail is dog friendly.  Walkers’ trail is stroller friendly, and runners’ trail is tough stroller friendly . It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Potomac Avenue Metro (Blue, Orange, and Silver Lines):

Largo Town Center — 11:49 PM
New Carrollton — 11:50PM
Franconia-Springfield –11:15PM
Vienna — 11:21 PM
Wiehle-Reston East — 11:08 PM

On After:
Trusty’s

Specials: If everyone is special, then no one is special.

For general questions on hashing, email us questions at ewh3info@gmail.com.

Want the trail announcement emailed to you? Sign up for the trail announcement listserve here!


EWH3 Hash Trash #1027: The Juggalo Trail!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday September 14th, 2017

Where: Braddock Road Metro

Hares: Topher, Dude That Guy, Penis Fly Trap, Maybe It’s Gaybelline

Virgins: Justs Sarah, Cheryl, Brian

Visitors: There were a lot, especially from the Keys. Mostly evacuees actually. Future Wanker, take a moment to Google (or the equivalent of such) Hurricane Irma. It was quite devastating for 2017 standards.

On-After: Joe Theismann’s Restaurant! Featuring $4 rails, $4 drafts, $4 shots! Except it wasn’t.

A juggalo (feminine juggalette, or juggala in Spanish) is a fan of the group Insane Clown Posse or any other Psychopathic Records hip hop group. Now you know!

My, what an evening clowning around Alexandria. Some say that little jaunt across the Bataan Peninsular was cake walk compared to the ordeal suffered by EWH3. Let’s hear of some of the highlights:

Violations:

One of our visitors, Senior Sodomizing Slut, lamented at his neglecting to keep his watch running. SSS, if you’re looking to time your performance, two minutes is 120 seconds!

With Fall upon us, Cheech & Dong shared her desire for cold weather Hashes so she can disrobe on trail. I guess Winter IS cumming!

The Hares botched “Hi My Name Is Joe” at beginning circle. That begs the question, “what was in their face paint?” “Lead?!”

The Hares also laid so many blind turns they could keep this route for the next “Ray Charles” Trail!

After a long time hiatus to pursue his cycle, Just Georgie, returned to the Hash wearing racist attire!

There was no naming this evening.

On – Wait Wait – On

EWH3 Hash Trash #1015: The Red White and Blue Jello Shots Trail! Thursday, July 6th Courthouse Metro (Orange/SIlver Line)

When: 6:45 PM Thursday June 22nd, 2017. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Courthouse Metro

Hares: All Flash No Drive, Seizure’s Phallus, Nobody Puts Gayby in a Corner, Head Injury, Rear Protein Injection, and Geriatric Mandering

Virgins: Just Simon, Just Chinaz

Visitors: Slut Machine

On After: Continental Pool Lounge

Violations:

Tuck Tuck Duece is being violated for yelling at Deaf Lesbian to turn back on trail. Tuck, his name is Deaf Lesbian, not Hard of Hearing Lesbian! Guess Tuck’s easily confused, just like Revolutionary War general Israel Putnam.

Our visitors from across the pond, Just Simon and Just Chinaz, were previously banned from White House H3. Why? For trying to start fires!

Maybe It’s Gaybelline was caught on trail getting Eiffel Towered by Diddler and someone else idk it’s been awhile. Anyway, he was just as fucked as General Cornwallis and his Hessian goons at Yorktown!

No Naming.

On-Wait Wait-On

EWH3 Hash Trash #1031: The Seventh Anal Pretty Pretty Princess Trail Thursday October 12, 2017

When: 6:45 PM Thursday October 12, 2017

Where: NoMa Metro

Hares: Colliteral Damage, All Flash No Drive, Chokes One Out, Keebler’s Shelf, Fukushemale, You Sucked My Battledick, and Just Rachel

Virgin: Just Sophie

Visitor: Just Jim

On After: Dew Drop Inn

In the context of royalty, a morganatic marriage, sometimes called a left-handed marriage is a marriage between people of unequal social rank, which prevents the passage of the husband’s titles and privileges to the wife and any children born of the marriage.

Violations:

Our virgin, Just Sophie, attended her first hash with EWH3. Guess we’re Sophie’s Choice!

Poon-apple Juice is receiving a commendation for dressing as a unicorn. I suppose she needed a public display of horniness!

Long time Hasher, Dial F, requested Taco Bell for his 369th run. I guess the only way he’ll eat a taco is if the Hash buys one for him!

The Naming of Just Rachel:
Just Rachel is from the whitest of George, spending most of her time in the rural bliss of Barnesville. A precocious teen, Rachel seduced a the comely Kelsey after a breakup and shared with her the wonders of a frozen banana. Frozen cucumbers work better. Rachel once had a boyfriend shake hands with friends after trilling down below. Was this before or after she broke up with him via Skype chat? She’d love to get smashed by Bruce Banner feat. Black Widow, and was once a sub at Taste, Touch, Feel. Her biggest claims to fame are working at Bandcamp, writing humorous articles, and winning the best ass award at White House Campout. In the infancy of naming, she joined the ranks of many wonderful Hashers by being named by the lovely Rosetta Bone. Welcum to the family, A Thong of Ice & Fire!

 

On-MyFavoritePrincessIsPrincessMargaret-On