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EWH3 Hash Trash #1031: The Seventh Anal Pretty Pretty Princess!

EWH3 Hash Trash #1031: The Seventh Anal Pretty Pretty Princess Trail Thursday October 12, 2017

When: 6:45 PM Thursday October 12, 2017

Where: NoMa Metro

Hares: Colliteral Damage, All Flash No Drive, Chokes One Out, Keebler’s Shelf, Fukushemale, You Sucked My Battledick, and Just Rachel

Virgin: Just Sophie

Visitor: Just Jim

On After: Dew Drop Inn

In the context of royalty, a morganatic marriage, sometimes called a left-handed marriage is a marriage between people of unequal social rank, which prevents the passage of the husband’s titles and privileges to the wife and any children born of the marriage.

Violations:

Our virgin, Just Sophie, attended her first hash with EWH3. Guess we’re Sophie’s Choice!

Poon-apple Juice is receiving a commendation for dressing as a unicorn. I suppose she needed a public display of horniness!

Long time Hasher, Dial F, requested Taco Bell for his 369th run. I guess the only way he’ll eat a taco is if the Hash buys one for him!

The Naming of Just Rachel:
Just Rachel is from the whitest of George, spending most of her time in the rural bliss of Barnesville. A precocious teen, Rachel seduced a the comely Kelsey after a breakup and shared with her the wonders of a frozen banana. Frozen cucumbers work better. Rachel once had a boyfriend shake hands with friends after trilling down below. Was this before or after she broke up with him via Skype chat? She’d love to get smashed by Bruce Banner feat. Black Widow, and was once a sub at Taste, Touch, Feel. Her biggest claims to fame are working at Bandcamp, writing humorous articles, and winning the best ass award at White House Campout. In the infancy of naming, she joined the ranks of many wonderful Hashers by being named by the lovely Rosetta Bone. Welcum to the family, A Thong of Ice & Fire!

 

On-MyFavoritePrincessIsPrincessMargaret-On

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EWH3 #1031: The Seventh Anal Pretty Pretty Princess Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, October 12th- NoMa (Red Line)

For general questions on hashing, email us questions at ewh3info@gmail.com.

Want the trail announcement emailed to you? Sign up for the trail announcement listserve here!

It’s that time again! Don your tiara, your hot dog suit, your tutu, your unicorn head – whatever makes you feel like a pretty pretty princess. Glitter that sh*t up and come run around NorthEast with us!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday October 12, 2017. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: NoMa Metro, take the M St exit, follow marks to start

Hares: Colliteral Damage, All Flash No Drive, Chokes One Out, Keebler’s Shelf, Fukushemale, You Sucked My Battledick, and Just Rachel!

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Dog friendly – debatable at on after. But probably, in view of recent DC Council emergency session. No P.I. Should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug (it gets dark at 7 pm now, guys)! Be smart, have fun.

Last red line trains: Thou hast phone, thou shalt google.

On After: Dew Drop Inn 2801 8th Street NE, Washington, D.C. 20017 (I hear people like it for prelube, but it’s a bit far from start)

Specials: Yea!

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EWH3 #1028: The 30 Years of Where’s Waldo Trail(s)! — September 21st — 5:15 for Ballbuster (Stadium Armory — Orange Line) OR 6:45 PM for Regular Trail (Capital South — Orange Line!)

Hey Wankers, don’t forget to let us know which trail you intend to run! –  https://goo.gl/forms/vGviTEokUXkLcrVs2

TRAIL BLUF:

BALLBUSTER TRAIL (Runners Only!): Starting at Stadium-Armory Station (Orange Line). Pack Away 5:45 PM SHARP!  Trail is 11-12 miles with multiple beer checks.  Trail is A to B and kinda long. No dogs, no strollers. Very slight chance of PI, high chance of mosquitoes and darkness, as well as beer. Bring a headlamp!!!

 REGULAR TRAIL (Runners and Walkers): Starting at Capitol South Metro Station (Orange Line). Pack Away 7:15 PM. These trails will be the usual EWH3 trail length. Trail is A-Z.

All trails will end in the same location for a joint circle.

And now for the rest of the details:

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EWH3 #1028: The 30 Years of Where’s Waldo Trail! – Thursday, Sepember 21st – 5:15 PM – Stadium Armory Metro (Silver/Orange/Blue) and 6:45 PM – Capitol South Metro (Silver/Orange/Blue)

Met a cute hasher last week and told them you’ll see them at the next trail?

The theme for EWH3’s Pre-RDR weekend is Where’s Waldo, so good luck finding them! Mwahaha!

Cum to trail dressed in your best Where’s Waldo costume to celebrate his 30th Anniversary! (And to also help you hide from that weirdo that kept hitting on you last week.)

And don’t forget to let us know which trail you plan to run!

When: Thursday September 21st, 2017.
Ballbuster Trail.  Sign-in at 5:15pm. Pack away at 5:45 pm SHARP!!!
Regular Trail.  Sign in at 6:45pm. Pack away at 7:15 pm!

Where:
Ballbuster from Stadium-Armory Station (Orange Line)
Regular Trail from Capitol South Metro Station (Orange Line)

Hares:
Ballbuster: Moose Knuckles, Mouthful of Clam, Goldman Ballsachs, Chics Ahoy!, and All Flash No Drive
Regular: Sorest Rump, Tuck Tuck Deuce, I’m Tho Thor, Red Vag of Courage, You Only Cum Once, General Tso’s Dickens

Miscellaneous Crap: THERE ARE TWO TRAILS!!!

BALLBUSTER TRAIL (Runners Only!): Starting at Stadium-Armory Metro Station (Orange Line). Pack Away 5:45 PM Sharp!  Trail is 11-12 miles with multiple beer checks.  Bring a headlamp! Trail is A to B and kinda long. No dogs, no strollers. Very slight chance of PI, high chance of mosquitoes and darkness, as well as beer. Bring a headlamp!!! Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Let us know if you’re cumming and Bring a headlamp!

REGULAR TRAIL (Runners and Walkers): Starting at Capitol South Metro Station (Orange/Blue/Silver Line). Pack Away 7:15 PM. Trail is A to B. Dog friendly. Stroller friendly. No PI. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

All trails will end in the same location for a joint circle.

Last trains out of Potomac Ave Metro (Silver/Orange/Blue):
Franconia-Springfield – 11:15 PM
Largo Town Center – 11:40 PM
New Carrollton – 11:50 PM
Vienna/Fairfax-GMU – 11:21 PM
Wiehle-Reston East – 11:08 PM

On After:
Trusty’s! 1420 Pennsylvania Ave SE, Washington, DC 20003

Specials: $1 off all draft and rail drinks!

***For all the visitors and virgins, please note at EWH3 only the Hash Flash is allowed to take pictures. Thanks!***

 

 

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EWH3 Hash Trash #1022: The Intermittently-Anal Blue Dress Trail!

EWH3 Hash Trash #1022: The Intermittently-Anal Blue Dress Trail!

When: August 17th, 2017. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Ft. Totten Metro

Hares: Head Injury, Cheech & Dong, Hercu-PLEASE, Poops I Did it Again, School for Girls Who Can’t Sex Good

Virgins: Just Tito; Just Scott; Just Emily; Just Jenny; Just Rachel; Just Jen

Visitors: None

On After: San Antonio Bar & Grill

 

Violations:

Virgin Just Scott went to Chipotle before cuming to the Hash. Scott, Bill Clinton gave Monika a cum stain, not a diahrrea stain!

Whoregon Trail was overheard to exclaim “I don’t want any in my mouth”. The last time someone yelled that, Bill Clinton got impeached!

In true entrepreneurial spirit, Rosetta Bone was actively workshopping a vaginally tempuratured cigar humidor. Watch out, Rosetta, Monica Lewinsky already has a patent pending on that same invention!

And finally, The Hares laid such a shitty trail, not even George Stuffanoctapus could spin it in a positive light!

The naming of Just Aaron:

Just Aaron was born in Suffolk, VA, and grew up in a charmed life. He went to JMU then somehow found himself in the army. While fighting for Uncle Sam, Just Aaron saw a lot of wang in the shower. His most regrettable sexual experience was hooking up with a chick in Lawton, Oklahoma. Probably because she lived in Oklahoma! When on PornHub he watches what the spirit moves him, consults for the military or something like that, and lost his virginity to mutually repressed college freshman who was also from an oppressive christian household. We’ve all been there! Ultimately it was the story of Aaron numbing a virgin Harriette’s mouth after he lathered bug spray on his organ that got him named Deets Nuts. She was a trooper!

On – Wait Wait – On

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EWH3 #1025: The Doctor, Doctor Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, August 31st West Hyattsville (Green)

For general questions on hashing, email us questions at ewh3info@gmail.com.

Want the trail announcement emailed to you? Sign up for the trail announcement listserve here!

What’s up, Doc? In honor of the approaching Holliday, join our talented team of medical experts* Without Borders just over the line into MD. We will Zhivago on a Strange romp, hopefully avoiding Evil and Doom, as we all leave the House to get our Phil of beer, shiggy, and half-minds. If you’ve been Jones-ing for trail, we will Spin a totally different Spock-versus-McCoy, but no matter Witch one Quinns, it would be Horrible for you to miss out on some Strangelove from this week’s hares, Who won’t Pepper you with any more Hickory Dickory references.

* this statement has been doctored from the original “overpopulated and questionably-competent-at-best hare crew”

Doctors’ Orders: Bring a headlamp. Headlamps required, stethoscopes optional, physical examinations by (consensual) appointment only. This trail is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, only boredom and normal behavior, and is not approved by the FDA, unless “FDA” stands for “Five Dumb Assh*les”

When: 6:45 PM Thursday August 31st, 2017. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: West Hyattsville – follow marks to start!

Hares: Special Head Kid, Poopholes Mountain Majesty, Spit ‘n’ Spin, Just Laurel, Whoregon Trail, Rosetta Bone, and Pinocchi-Ho

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is very nearly A to A (!) and definitely not stroller-friendly. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of West Hyattsville:

Branch Ave – 11:11 PM

Greenbelt – 12:05 AM

On After: Lee’s, 2903 Hamilton St

Specials: Karaoke! Cheap drinks! More karaoke!

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EWH3 #1024: The Hashy Hash Hash Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, August 25th- Tenleytown (RED LINE!)

For general questions on hashing, email us questions at ewh3info@gmail.com.

Want the trail announcement emailed to you? Sign up for the trail announcement listserve here!

It’s time to show off your Hash Love! Put on all of your shiggy socks and hash shirts and booty kennel pants and Red Dress visors and camp out mugs, and come out to Tenleytown to celebrate why Wednesday is our Favorite Day!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday August 25th, 2017. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Tenleytown Metro- follow marks south towards Tenley Circle

Hares: All Flash No Drive and Mystery Hares! (Kinda! If you’d like to hare this Thursday email me back!)

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A. Shiggy level for runners low. Walker shiggy level low — ask walker hare for alternate directions if you bring a stroller/need to hobble trail.

On After: Guapos!!

Specials: MisManagement thinks you’re special 🙂

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EWH3 Hash Trash #998: The Red Dress Run Announcement Trail! Judiciary Square Metro

When: 6:45 PM Thursday March 23rd, 2017

Where: Judiciary Square Metro (Red Line)

.Hares: Camo Sutra, Yariben, and Fish N Tits

Virgins: Just Jordan, Just Pauline, Just Nicole, Just Jessica, Just George, Just Dan

Visitor: Just Laura

On After: Kelly’s Irish Times

Violations:

Texas Hold Him was overheard on trail expressing his attraction to representations of Jesus the Nazarene. Could it be that Texas is having a cum to Jesus sexperience?!

A commendation was issued for Just Liz, this indefatigable Harriette got rammed by a car on the way to trail! And she still came!!

One of the evening’s virgins, Just Pauline, was overheard on trail asking if she was really going to have something shoved up her ass. The answer is of course no, but Pauline, if you want to learn more about having things up your ass we have many Hashers who can coach you!

Maybe It’s Gaybelline was violated for cuming dressed from work. Ayyyyyyyyy!

Naming of Just Dan:

Just Dan is a nice lad. He works at a nonprofit and went to Cornell where he played in the marching band. He received his first handjob while watching the movie Ants. He may have rathered them crawling on his dick than that hand. Can you say chaffing! Some say front stuff, others butt stuff, Just Dan says it’s 2017: all stuff! His proudest sexual moment had his girlfriend in town for 12 hours only and a veritable sex marathon ensued. All the loads! Just Dan likes chick books, video games, and fucking the friend of his friend’s fuck buddy. What a guy! He would name his penis Henry Clay, Wait Wait approved! Names such as All Talk No Finish, Handmaiden’s Fail, and Journey To The Blast were all considered, but the Lovely Rosetta Bone’s Chaffed & Confused is what won the day.

On – Wait Wait’s always wanted a little brother! – On
Wait Wait

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EWH3 #986: The Boxers and Blazers Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, January 19th – Woodley Park-Zoo/Adams Morgan — Red Line [Sorta!]

For general questions on hashing, email us questions at ewh3info@gmail.com.

Want the trail announcement emailed to you? Sign up for the trail announcement listserve here!

EWH3 #986: The Boxers and Blazers Trail! – 6:45 PM Thursday, January 19th – Woodley Park-Zoo/Adams Morgan — Red Line [Sorta!]

Come join EWH3 this Thursday for the Boxers and Blazers Trail!!! Bust out your ties, business socks, shoulder pad jackets, and your bum-tastic underwear for an epic jaunt through Adams Morgan!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, January 19th, 2017. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Woodley Park-Zoo/Adams Morgan metro, then walk to TOWN TAVERN (2323 18th St NW, Washington, DC 20009). Follow marks to start!

Hares: All Flash No Drive!, Stain Gretzky, Moose Knuckles, Atari 6900, Schrodinger’s Cock, and Happy Poo Year!

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A. There will be shot checks galore, no beer check, and an EPIC INDOOR END CIRCLE. Costumes and underwear strongly encouraged.

Last trains out of Woodley Park-Zoo/Adams Morgan:
Glenmont: 11:58 PM
Shady Grove:12:12 AM

Metro Status and Alerts

On After: Town Tavern
2323 18th St NW, Washington, DC 20009

Specials: The hares think your special.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS

Want to hare?
Virgin and experienced hares needed! Just want to assist? Let me know and I’ll find an established trail for you to join! Check the hareline and then email me to reserve a date (ewh3harerazor@gmail.com). Next open dates is 2/16.

Want to Brew Crew?
Your Brewmeister needs brew crew!! Contact him at ewh3brewmeister@gmail.com

EWH3 Listserves
Friend forward this to you? Sign up for the trail announcement listserve here!
Also, sign up here for the EWH3 (non-trail announcement) listserve!

Beltway Bob
Thirsty after work on Friday? Check out the most-always metro friendly Beltway Bob Hash Happy Hour http://www.dchashing.org/community/beltwaybob/. Tell them you’re from EWH3 and then drink everyone under the table.

UPCUMMING EVENTS

DCPH4 – January 27-29, 2017
Ski Hash Weekend in Seven Spring Mountain Resort, PA. Details and sign up sheet can be found HERE!

Pick your Trail for EWH3 #969: RDR Pre-Lube

Hi Everybody!

Help EWH3 buy enough beer for you to drink! We will have trails starting at two different times this week, October 6th, at two different metros. If you don’t respond, we won’t buy enough beer!!!

Regular trail (runner & walkers) will start at Archives-Naval Memorial-Penn Quarter Metro Station Pack Away 7:15 PM…ish. These trails will be approximately the usual EWH3 trail length. Trail is A-Z.

The Ballbuster trail (runners only) will start at the ilver Spring Metro Station Pack Away 6:00 PM Sharp! Trail is 10-12 miles with multiple beer checks. Trail is A-Z.

All trails will end in the same location for a joint circle.

Let us know which trail you intend to r*n! – https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSezBQ2–I951qyqjKdszbfC2Mt8SxVWCxaLI5OFeoEy43mzhg/viewform

On-On!

-EWH3 Hare Razor

I hash DC