EWH3# 808: The Kiss from a Rose Trail! 6:45 PM Thursday, January 16, 2014 – NoMa-Gallaudet Metro (Red Line)

EWH3# 808: The Kiss from a Rosé Trail! 6:45 PM Thursday, January 16, 2014 – NoMa-Gallaudet Metro (Red Line)
 
Quit your wine-ing. The Bachelor is back and so are your favorite hares, handing out shots as a token of our affection. Will you accept? January may be cold and dark, but we promise JUAN-uary will be hot and spicy!  Not in the mood yet? It’s got his Seal of approval!
When: 6:45 PM Thursday JUAN-uary 16, 2014.  Pack away at 7:15!
Where: NoMa-Gallaudet Metro (Red Line). Follow marks to the start!
Hares: Hand Franks, Red White and Poo, Jew-Cock-A, Whoroscope, Magic Johnson, and just Sean
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B, ending by Union Station.  Headlamps aren’t necessary, as it is an urban trail, but still a good idea.  As would be dry socks, if it’s been raining.  You see, when it rains, your socks can get wet.  This is not necessarily an issue while running, but does become one when the hash is over, especially since it is winter.  You see, when you stop running in the winter, you get cold a lot quicker because the weather is colder.  Your feet would get cold even dry, but will be worse off when wet.  You see, the wetness will attract the cold much quicker, and you won’t be having fun.  So, if it’s been raining and if you are prone to jumping in puddles, then you may want to bring dry socks.  If you’d like further information, please see your Hare Razor-he’d be glad to elaborate.  Pack warm, pack light, be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of the Union Station Metro:

Glenmont – 12:11 AM
Shady Grove – 11:59 PM
Weather: H42; L29; 0% chance of rain, SW 13 mph wind

On On On: Union Pub
201 Massachusetts Ave NE
Washington, DC 20002
Specials: $12 Bud Light Pitchers
$4 Fireball
$4 Mystery Beer
Kitchen will be open for mini corndoggers, etc.
——————————————————————————————
BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS  
(1) EWH3’s AGM is on Saturday, January 25th.  Rego here:https://www.ewh3.com/2014_agm/.  Come help us toss out the old, grumpy wankers who are your current MisManagement for some nice, bright, young new thangs.  Or something.  For $34 in advance ($40 at the door), you get open bar from 8-11PM and then drink specials after.  Do it.  You know you want to.  Do it.  Now.  Come one.  Just do it.  Yes, do it.
(2) EWH3’s WIE Weekend in Ocean Sh*tty is AT CAPACITY…but we have a waitlist!  To get added to the waitlist, send a request to wie.organizers@gmail.com and include the following information:
Nerd Name:
Hash Name:
Home Kennel:
Food Preference: (Choose between Carnivore, Vegitarian, Glutard, Vegitard)
Preferred room arrangement and preferred roommate: (No guareentees)
We will add folks as space opens up.
(3)Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Trails need hare-ing!  December is full but January and February are open so check the hareline and then email me to reserve a date. (ewh3harerazor@gmail.com)
(4) Thirsty after work Friday?  Check out the most-always metro friendly Beltway Bob Hash Happy Hour http://www.dchashing.org/community/beltwaybob/  Tell them you’re from EWH3 and then drink everyone under the table.
(5) If you have NEVER hared before and want to jump on to some already established trails, shoot me an email and I will hook you up!
Slap the bag!
-Whiskey Business

Trail UPDATE: Start is Tenleytown Metro, NOT VAN NESS!

What’s that you say?  You wankers want TWO weeks in a row where the trail start is changed after trail news was sent out?  YOU GOT IT!

Thanks to clerical errors in the Hare Razor Dept., this week’s news had an oopsie-poopsie.  Trail is actually starting at the Tenleytown-AU Metro (Red Line).
Everything else is staying the same!
Holler!
-WizzBizz

EWH3# 807: The Graffiti Hash Trail! 6:45 PM Thursday, January 9, 2014 – Tenleytown Metro (Red Line)

EWH3# 807: The Graffiti Hash Trail! 6:45 PM Thursday, January 9, 2014 – Tenleytown Metro (Red Line)
 
From Hemingway to Twain, to Updike and Melville, the hash continues to follow in the great literary footsteps of old, only this time of year we use our bodies, not paper.  The Graffiti Hash has three requirements:
1) a white shirt that you do not care about getting written on
2) a marker
3) your amazing wit
Come on out and run, write, and have fun!  And unlike when you’re passed out at a party, at this hash, you’re (probably) aware of being written on and (usually) like it!
When: 6:45 PM Thursday January 9, 2014.  Pack away at 7:15!
Where: Van Ness Metro (Red Line). Follow marks to the start!
Hares: Glitty Clitty Gang Bang, Whiskey Business, Miss-Me-Gag-Me, and surprise hares!
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B, ending in the Tenleytown area.  Headlamps are a must, as we will be headed into the forest (spoooooky)!.  Your hares are doing the best to keep your feet dry, and if you are careful you should be fine, though an extra pair of socks may be wise.  Pack warm, pack light, be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of the Tenleytown Metro:

Glenmont – 11:52 PM
Shady Grove – 12:18 AM
Weather: H42; L25; 20% chance of rain, SSE 7 mph wind

On On On: Guapo’s
4515 Wisconsin Ave NW
Washington, DC 20016
Specials: TBD, but if you’re feeling cheap you can always go to town on chips and salsa!
——————————————————————————————
BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS  
(1) EWH3’s AGM is on Saturday, January 25th.  Rego here:https://www.ewh3.com/2014_agm/.  Come help us toss out the old, grumpy wankers who are your current MisManagement for some nice, bright, young new thangs.  Or something.  For $34 in advance ($40 at the door), you get open bar from 8-11PM and then drink specials after.  Do it.  You know you want to.  Do it.  Now.  Come one.  Just do it.  Yes, do it.
(2) EWH3’s WIE Weekend in Ocean Sh*tty is AT CAPACITY…but we have a waitlist!  To get added to the waitlist, send a request to wie.organizers@gmail.com and include the following information:
Nerd Name:
Hash Name:
Home Kennel:
Food Preference: (Choose between Carnivore, Vegitarian, Glutard, Vegitard)
Preferred room arrangement and preferred roommate: (No guareentees)
We will add folks as space opens up.
(3) The WH4 AGM will be held on January 11, 2014, at Heritage Brewery in Manassas, Va. Costs are $45 for regular registration or $35 for a limited consumption registration. That includes trail, food, and drink. We have special pricing at a local hotel (with FREE shuttle from the brewery to the hotel) for those looking for a place to crash afterwards. THERE WILL BE A HASH-PITALITY SUITE AT THE HOTEL! For more information and to sign up, click here. Come out and support the hash that gave birth to us! 
(4)Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Trails need hare-ing!  December is full but January and February are open so check the hareline and then email me to reserve a date. (ewh3harerazor@gmail.com)
(5) Thirsty after work Friday?  Check out the most-always metro friendly Beltway Bob Hash Happy Hour http://www.dchashing.org/community/beltwaybob/  Tell them you’re from EWH3 and then drink everyone under the table.
(6) If you have NEVER hared before and want to jump on to some already established trails, shoot me an email and I will hook you up!
Body Canvases!
-Whiskey Business

EWH3# 795: The Twinkle and Friends Halloween Hash Bash (yea, it’s Halloween themed) Trail! 6:45 PM Thursday, October 31, 2013 – Potomac Ave Metro (Blue/Orange Line)

Hey Party People,
I’ve heard rumblings that Bad Dog put together a great trail for committed hashers out in Vienna last week, but I am still waiting on the carrier pigeon to make it back from Vienna with the full report.  It may be a while…
***EWH3’s 800th Run Trail Analversary UPDATE: The 800th trail sign-up will be closing soon and we only have 6 spots left on the LAST bus.  After those are taken, we will NOTbe getting another bus so sign up soon at www.ewh3.com before you lose a spot on the bus.
Your regularly scheduled program this week is:
EWH3# 795: The Twinkle and Friends Halloween Hash Bash (yea, it’s Halloween themed) Trail! 6:45 PM Thursday, October 31, 2013 – Potomac Ave Metro (Blue/Orange Line)
This trail will have both tricks AND treats! Don’t miss it, and don’t be a Halloweenie and show up without a costume!
When: 6:45 PM Thursday October 31, 2013.  Pack away at 7:15
Where: Potomac Ave Metro (Blue/Orange Line). Follow marks to the start!
Hares: Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock, Motor Mouth, Magic Johnson, Blows a Tranny, Hell’s Anal, Just Amy, and Please Step Away From the Whores
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’, Dog friendly. Pack light and bring a headlamp!  When walking back from the on after to metro, take a buddy! It’s a dark and spooooky walk back (but seriously, it’s not well lit, so please be safe!).

Last train out of Potomac Ave (0.9 miles from the end):

Franconia-Springfield – 11:51 PM
Largo Town Center – 12:19 AM
New Carrollton – 12:19 AM
Vienna/Fairfax-GMU – 11:51 PM

Weather: H73; L65; 10% chance of rain, SSE 14 mph wind

On On On: Eastern Powerboat Club
1301 Water Street SE
Washington, DC 20003
Specials: This whole On-On is special.  This is not a bar but a venue that we will be able to use to celebrate Halloween as a hash by drinking hash beer and eating hash food and having hash fun.  Hash.  That being said, there is no food/kitchen but you can order pizza to the venue!
Last time we were here, a dance party may or may not have occurred…

As stated earlier, it is a 0.9 mile walk to the metro.  Uber and cabs work, and if you walk, be safe and walk with a group!

EWH3# 792: The Choose Your Own Adventure/Red Dress Weekend Trail! 6:45 PM Thursday, October 10, 2013 – Fort Totten OR Van Ness Metro (Green/Yellow/Red Lines!)

EWH3# 792: The Choose Your Own Adventure/Red Dress Weekend Trail! 6:45 PM Thursday, October 10, 2013 – Fort Totten OR Van Ness Metro (Green/Yellow/Red Lines!)

It’s Red Dress Weekend and that beautiful time of the year when hashers from all over begin thinking one thing: do I look good in this dress?  This week, we have multiple trails to help you with your answer to that question.  If you think you’re looking fiiiiiiine and fit well into your chosen gown, then you can settle for a regular EWH3-length trail.  If you bought an extra-skimpy number and need to shed some el-beeee’s (or if you’re a masochist who has an affinity for tacking on as many miles as possible) we give you the infamous BallBuster trail.  The choice is yours! Please indicate your preference on the Evite.

REGULAR TRAIL INFORMATION

When: 6:45 PM Thursday October 10, 2013.  Pack away at 7:15
Where: Van Ness Metro (Red Line). Follow marks to the start!
Hares: Miss Me Gag Me, Big Bang, Carmen Sandiegho and Fire Drill
Miscellaneous Crap: Live A to B trail.  Runner’s and walker’s trails are dog friendly but not stroller friendly. Headlamps are a must.
BALLBUSTER INFORMATION

When: 5:30 PM Thursday October 10, 2013. Hares away by 5:45 PM, Pack away by 6 PM.  You will be left at 6PM.
Where: Fort Totten Metro (Green/Yellow/Red Line). Follow marks to the start!
Hares: St. Pauli’s Girl, Whiskey Business, Don’t Stick Your Crazy, Dial F, Three Whacks and I’m Done
Miscellaneous Crap: Live A to Z trail.  Headlamp is a must.  Be aware that trail will be 12+ miles so please be realistic with your abilities, nerds.  YOU MUST BRING YOUR ID ON TRAIL.
Last train out of Tenleytown-AU:
Glenmont – 11:52 PM
Shady Grove – 12:18 AM

Weather: H68; L53; 30% chance of rain, NNE 9 mph wind

On On On: Guapo’s
4515 Wisconsin Ave NW
Washington, D.C., DC 20016
Specials: TBD- most likely Mexican Swill Beer and Margaritas and Chips!
——————————————————————————————
BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS  
(1) The 20th Anniversary DC Red Dress Run is Saturday, October 12, 2013.  See who’s coming and register here!  THERE ARE APPROXIMATELY 40 SPOTS LEFT! 
(2) EWH3’s 800th Run Trail Anniversary is November 16th, 2013!  Rego goes live Oct 1.  Early price $45.  Will go up to $55 on October 20th.  We’re giving you a fantastic exclusively-trail hash through Little Bennett Park off of I-270.  There are two ways of getting there: you can drive yourself (lame), or you can hop on our bus (YAY)!  The bus leaves from a metro-accessible bar in DC at 1pm sharp.  After the hash, we’ll have end-circle and a celebration that will include awesome dancing, bonfires, BBQ food, open bar with beer and wine, AND A MOON BOUNCE!!  The bus will return in time for evening shenanigans.
(3) SAVE THE DATE for EWH3’s WIE Weekend in Ocean Sh*tty March 7-9, 2014!  Regos will go on sale by December 1, 2013.  There IS a cap on how many people can come.  This is not because your WIEeeee Committee doesn’t adore all of you and want to get you drunk and messy, but bars and restaurants have things like “fire codes” that we have to respect.
(4) H4 Sponsored Rennfest Oct 19-20! Medieval Madness Authentic Four Course Feast and Comedy Show, Meade, Renaissance Festival Ticket, Meade, H4 Trail, Beverages and Brunch, Meade, Raffle ticket for Mystery Renaissance Items, and Meade! Rego here! – https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16938

EWH3# 769: The Get Off My Lawn Trail 6:45 PM Thursday May 2, 2013- Pentagon City Metro (Blue/Yellow Line)

Good Evening Wankers,

I still haven’t washed the hipster stank off me from Wonderland, though to be fair, the band did play Wagon Wheel, so there’s a little bit of bro there as well.  Speaking of bro (?)…


Your regularly scheduled program this week is:

 

EWH3# 769: The Get Off My Lawn Trail 6:45 PM Thursday May 2, 2013- Pentagon City Metro (Blue/Yellow Line)

Everyday is Wednesday is getting old. In fact EWH3 is getting almost as old as White House or even **shudder** Over the Hump. Yes friends, EWH3 turns 769 this week, and this drunken entity is not the only thing celebrating a birthday- cheers to Haystack’s, PSA’s, Mr. hEd’s, Uno and a metric shit ton of others’ Birthdays!  Buy them a drink and help them celebrate the only way we know how- making them puke in their own pockets!
When: 6:45 PM Thursday May 2, 2013. Pack away at 715ish.
Where: Pentagon City Metro (Blue/Yellow Line).  The trail actually starts at Virginia Highlands Park, so follow marks to the start!
Hares: Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack, Please Step Away from the Whores, Don’t Ask Don’t Smell, Uno Dos tres LIFTOFF, Kandy Panties and maybe some mystery hares…

Miscellaneous Crap: Fun A to Bish trail through the Commonwealth of Virginia.  The hares are old and cranky and they remember the good old days of EWH3 when a four mile trail was considered obscenely long. In other words, if you are training for a marathon (or even a half marathon), plan on running before the hash as this trail will be short.

Weather: H69; L50; 10% chance of rain, wind ENE at 11mph.
On On On: Freddie’s Beach Bar
555 23rd Street South
Arlington, VA 22202
703-685-0555

Specials: KARAOKE AND BLINKY LIGHT DRINKS
————————————————————————————————————————–
BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS  
(1) Starting on June 6, the hash will be $6.  You can still pay with cash, but if having to lug around that extra dollar bill is annoying to you, feel free to pay with credit card.  Yup, we’re getting tech savvy!

(2) Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Give back to the hash! Trails need hare-ing!  March and April filled up quick, so start looking towards May- don’t delay, check the hareline and then email me to reserve a date. (ewh3harerazor@gmail.com)
(3) Thirsty after work Friday?  Check out the most-always metro friendly Beltway Bob Hash Happy Hour http://www.dchashing.org/community/beltwaybob/  Tell them you’re from EWH3 and then drink everyone under the table.
(4) If you have NEVER hared before and want to jump on to some already established trails, shoot me an email and I will hook you up!
(5) Cinco De Mustachio is coming up on May 9!  For all of you dweebs who CAN grow a mustache (damn you), you might want to put away your razor!
(6) Wanna get super weird while watching horses race to the tunes of Macklemore and Pitbull?  Then head to Charm City’s Preakness event this year!  Talk to I’m Tho Thor or reach out to me and I can get you in touch with him if this event interests you!  It is shaping up to be stupid fun.
Time to start practicing my Backstreet Boys,
-Whiskey Business

EWH3 #743: The Fellowship of the Hash – East Falls Church Metro (Orange)

EWH3 #743: The Fellowship of the Hash – East Falls Church Metro (Orange)

Where: East Falls Church Metro (Orange) Follow marks to start (Roosevelt Street Cul-de-sac)

When: 6:45 PM,Thursday December 6, 2012 Pack Away 7:15 PM

Hares: Dildo Shaggins, Hope 4 the Breast, Mr. HeD, Blows a Tranny, Virgin Queen

Misc. Trail is A to B. One Trail to Rule them All. Join the fellowship of Hobbits, Elves, Dwarves, Wizards, and Wankers in the Bag End of East Falls Church. The fellowship is on a journey to destroy the One Cock Ring in the first trail of the Lord of the Hash Trailogy. Use your Phial of Galadriel to light the dark places when all other lights go out and wear armor to protect you from the Black Cock Riders and Ring-Wreaths on the journey through the Old Forest and the Mines of Moronia on the trail to reach the Elvish kingdom of Ballston.

OnOnOn: A-Town Bar & Grill (Ballston) 4100 North Fairfax Drive Arlington, VA

Specials: $2.50 Miller Lite and Bud Light drafts, $3.50 all other drafts, $4 Rail Drinks, $5 Mojitos, $5 Wine…from 10 pm – Midnight (Get a wristband from Dildo Shaggins when you walk in)

EWH3 #742: Father Don’s Gay Apparel Trail – Brookland/CUA Metro (Red Line) 11/29/2012

EWH3 #742: Father Don’s Gay Apparel Trail – Brookland/CUA Metro (Red Line) 11/29/2012

Where: Brookland/CUA Metro – Red Line (Exit on the 10th Street Side, not Catholic!) Follow marks to start.
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, November 29, 2012. Pack away at 7:15ish.
Parking: Metro Lot near the corner of 10th and Michigan, by the buses.

Hares: Brown Eye for the Gay Guy and Hells Anal.

Misc: A to A+. You know what Catholic Priests hate more than little boys in chastity belts. Homos. So don your gayest apparel as you run through Catholic Land. Trail is dog and gerbil friendly. Headlamps are always a good idea for both runners and walkers as well.  Bring warm clothes and clothes to change into after (but don’t bring an entire effing suitcase)

OnOnOn: 
San Antonio Bar & Grill
3908 12th Street 
Northeast, Washington, DC

EWH3 #741: The TRUE Turkey Trot Trail – Rosslyn Metro (Blue/Orange) Special TIME – 11 AM TOMORROW!!!!!

EWH3 #741: The TRUE Turkey Trot Trail – Rosslyn Metro (Blue/Orange)  

Where:Rosslyn Metro (Blue/OrangeFollow marks to the start (the parking deck above the Continental)When: 11:00 AM, Thursday, November 22, 2012. Pack away at 11 somethingHares:  PSA, Purple People Eater, Aireolla Borealis, Saskatchewsnatch, and maybe a mystery hare.Misc: A to A. There will be a SHORT (like Twinkle’s dick) Runner’s trail and a walker’s trail. Please don’t drink and drive!  This is one of the drunkest trails of the year.  This year is a special trail since it is also the birthday of one of our Thanksgiving babies, Silver Spooge!  Trail starts early so be on time.  This is the trail we run so you can get good and drunk before having to go spend the rest of the day hanging out with those annoying people you call family.  And when I say run, that is only an exageration.  Trail is short…  very short!  Do not expect this to be your marathon training for the week.  As one of my co-hares likes to put it “barely long enough to burn off one scoop of mashed potatoes and gravy”.  Do expect to drink!  There will be beer and Wild Turkey shots, and people have started bring there own connoctions in the last couple of years.  Anything from mimosa’s to Jagger bombs to Bloody Mary’s, but dont expect too much from the hares since MM will only allow us to spend so much.  And dont show up early and expect the hares to provide you with your pre-lube drinking.  Any pre-lube drinking the hares do is only for the hares!
There is no On-After as most places are closed at that time on Thanksgiving.  But we will stay as long as people want to keep the circle going!

EWH3 #739: Samuel Nicholas’s Tun Tavern Remembrance Hash – Thursday, November 08, 2012 (Rosslyn)

EWH3 #739: Samuel Nicholas’s Tun Tavern Remembrance Hash – Thursday, November 08, 2012  (Rosslyn)

Where: Rosslyn Metro — Blue/Orange Lines. Follow marks to the start.

When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, November 08, 2012. Pack away at 7:15ish.

Hares: My Little Pony, Gladiator, Gomer’s Pile

Misc: A to B. Or, A to Shot to Shots & Beer & Shots.  Happy 237th Birthday Marines! Dog-friendly trail.  Headlamps are always a good idea for both runners and walkers as well.  Bring warm clothes and clothes to change into after (but don’t bring an entire effing suitcase)

Harerazor’s note:    It won’t be the easiest EWH3 trail, but it will be one of the most fun trails!  If you are injured or lazy you may want to think about not running the whole thing, because after all this is the Marine trail – no biotchin’ or complain’ allowed.

OnOnOn:
Chadwick’s
3205 K Street NW
Washington, DC 20007
(202) 333-2565
Chadwicks is committed to serving great American food at prices you can afford every day.
http://www.chadwicksrestaurants.com/

Specials: Corona and Corona Light for $2.50 to commemorate the Marines in the Halls of Montezuma!   Just plan on taking Friday off. $5 bar menu available  until midnight.