Was the moon landing faked?

Did Paul McCartney die back in 1966?

What’s the deal with Area 51? 

Was the JFK assassination an inside job? Is the earth really flat? What’s really stored at Fort Knox?

The list of things the government is lying to us about is, quite possibly, endless. Or maybe it doesn’t exist at all. Cum join us to find out once and for all at the first Tin Foil Hat Trail!

Dress up as your favorite conspiracy theory, or wear a homemade tin foil hat to protect your brain from mind control. We’ll be hashing somewhere in between the Pentagon and Fort Belvoir, so it’s important to keep the government from accessing your innermost thoughts. There will be restorative elixirs (aka booze) hidden along the way for sustenance if your mind begins to feel weak.

No matter what we find out about aliens or how many UFOs we spot, there will be trail, there will be shots, there will be beer, and there will be chili at end circle, so you can’t go wrong.


When: 6:45 PM Thursday, May 9, 2024. Pack will be away right at 7:15 PM, don’t be late!

Where: Huntington Metro parking garage (follow marks to start from Huntington Avenue exit)

Nearest Capital Bike Share: Eisenhower Ave & Mill Race Ln (1 metro stop away)

Hares: Just Victoria, Vagina is for Lawyers, Naughtya Cum n eat me

Trail Details:
– Runners: 2.3 mi. first half / 2.0 mi. second half

– Walkers: 1.3 mi first half / 1.1 mi. second half

– Shiggy: 1.69

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A (0.4 mi to Huntington Metro). Bring your own vessel, a cranium light, your metallic cranium safety cover, bug spray, and a full water bottle. Sign up on Hash Rego is required if paying by card! Be smart, have fun.

End Metro: Huntington

Last Trains Out: Yellow line to Mt Vernon Sq 7th St-Convention Center – 11:25 PM

On After: 2 Jefes (2249 Huntington Ave)

Specials: You’re special.

So, no one would volunteer to flash. I tried bribery, I tried threats, and then eventually, I tried to take photos.

Pin on Funny
(Pictured: Me, trying to juggle too many jobs in one night)

As promised, a one-in-a-lifetime joint Scribe/Flash masterpiece, only available at this link.

On – I told you this would happen – On
Poon-apple Juice

When: Thursday, May 19, 2022
Where: Gallery Place (Red/Green/Yellow)
Hares: Colliteral Damage, General Tso’s Dicken, Stain Gretzky, Mouthful of ClamVirgins: Just Christina
Visitors: Put It Black In Me

Schitt’s Creek is a heartwarming rags to riches story about a band of merry fellows who ascribe to the mantra of “dress for the life you want” and believe in the power of manifestation above all.

Haunted by a Blockbuster-sponsored past, the entire family unit is forced to move to a town almost as shitty as this trail. Along the way they learn about family, friendship, and feminism. This sneak peak into the lifestyles of the formerly-rich & the not-so-famous reminds us all to appreciate the things we have in life, like…

Our shoes: Special Red’s help him to be a smooth operator.

Our education: Bipolar Bear may not know what sound the letter “X” makes, but at least he also doesn’t know when to use one while laying trail.

Our beer: The Brew Crew kept us hydrated with a variety of ales, lagers, and everything in between.

The food on our plates: Close Encounters of the Turd Kind made sure we were all satisfied with his corny jokes.

Then, some things we’re less grateful for:


In true panda fashion, Tony Panda showed little interest in procreation.

Our beer bitch, Just Patrick, failed to provide a snail trail.

And a few in the pack wore wigs, showing that they had such little faith in our hares that they had to bring their own.

After wrapping up our circle sans-slugs, we were off to enjoy a cold Chinese food buffet and warm beer.

On – Ew – On
Poon-apple Juice