Wow, ten years of Jorts Association of Arlington Trails.  That’s almost as long as your jorts should be short. Come on out in your favorite pair of jeans-cut-into-shorts, or jorts (everyone can tell if they’re just jean shorts- you’re not fooling anyone), and enjoy a Jorts trail through Arlington that ends exactly where you think it does, because there’s two parts to this theme trail: jorts and Freddies. 

When: 6:45 PM Thursday September 5th, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Pentagon City Metro (Blue/Yellow), exit to left, then THROUGH THE MALL to the parking lot and up the stairs. Follow marks to Joyce Street.

Hares: Roll Over, Bitch! You Can’t Handle the Poop! sKooter Kunte! Tragic Carpet Ride! EXCLAMATION MARKS!

Trail Length:
Runner’s 1st: 2.8 miles
Runner’s 2nd: 1.5 miles
Walker’s 1st  1.3 miles
Walkers 2nd: 1ish miles(ish)

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B, jortswear encouraged, minimal shiggy and maybe even some A/C. Skies out thighs out. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Crystal City Metro:
Blue line to Franconia / Springfield: 11:55 PM
Blue line to Largo Town Center: 11:17 PM
Yellow Line to Greenbelt: 11:05 PM
Yellow Line to Huntington: 11:37 PM

On After: Freddies!

Specials: KARAOKE, please tip the VJ!!!

Welcome to the Graffiti Trail where we all run around DC with a sharpie and vandalize the clothing of our fellow hashers! So wear a white tee shirt that you don’t mind getting defiled, bring a sharpie of any color, and style on your friends with sick tags! You can write a funny phrase, draw a nice picture, draw a terrible picture, or do whatever else your drunken inner Banksy comes up with.

When: 6:45 circle up, Pack away 7:15!

Where: Columbia Heights Metro, Northside, in the plaza – follow marks to start!

Hares: Mr. Holland’s Anus, Wait Wait Don’t Fuck Me, What’s A Boner, and a mystery hare!

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Zero shiggy. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 4.21miles long (about 2.08 miles first half and 2.13 miles second half). Walkers’ trail usually is approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail.

Last trains out of U St. Metro:
Green Line Branch Ave 11:18 PM
Green Line Greenbelt 11:53 PM
Yellow Line Huntington 11:20 PM
Yellow Line Greenbelt 11:22 PM

On After:
Satellite Room
2047 9th St NW

Specials: Very special.

Think tropical thoughts as we tour the finest watering holes that Cleveland Park/Adams Morgan has to offer!

When: Thursday, August 22nd, 6:45 circle up, Pack away 7:15!

Where: Cleveland Park – follow marks to start!

Hares: Gunna Probably Spew, Heaven’s Gape, special guest appearance(s)

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Walkers’ trail is everything friendly.  Runners’ trail isn’t particularly stroller or dog friendly. Runners’ feet might get a bit wet. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far:
Runners’ true trail is approx. 4.6 miles
Walkers’ true trail is approx. 2.6 miles

Last trains out:
Woodley Park/Zoo (Red Line):
Glenmont 11:26
Shady Grove 11:44

On After: Shenanigan’s Irish Pub

Specials: You’re all so special!