EWH3 #609:  Bethesda

 

Hares:  Rear Protein Injection, Presidential Nasty, RhinoBlastMe, RU-469, Just Bradley

 

Brew Crew: Tapped Three Times, Blows a Tranny

 

Virgins:  Just Dave, Samantha, Liz, Sarah, Jesse, Becky, Katie, Stan, Becca, Erin, Ian, Mike, Aviva

 

Visitors:  Pro Boner (Sarajevo H3–transplant, and yes, this is a different one from the Pro Boner who moved here last month), Honey Bunches of Cunt (Portland, ME H3–transplant), FLAB (Hubtown (Toronto) H3)

 

OnOnOn:  Tommy Joe’s

 

The first half was a death march.  Seriously, I think we ran up every hill and through every neighborhood in the greater Bethesda area, including a bit of woods where it was a really, really bad idea for me to have left my headlamp in my other bag.  FAIL.  After running past a big parking lot where we often have beer check, we hit a bit of the Capitol Crescent Trail and FINALLY ended up at the beer check, in a school (I think) parking lot. 

I’d heard that the second half was much shorter than the first.  Maybe it was, but given the length of the first half, that’s not saying much.  And, the hares added in one more thing to tease, lead on, and frustrate the pack:  false hope.  We cut through a grocery store parking lot, and went into the parking garage, where we all thought trail would end.  But no, the hares had other plans:  they sent us into another parking garage, where we also wrongly thought trail would end.  After that, we ran through another neighborhood, up more hills, and into yet another parking garage.  Trail was supposed to end in that garage, but due to police presence, we relocated to a fourth parking garage, where we ended up not being able to have circle, due to another cop lurking around.  It’s Montgomery County, they have nothing better to do.  Consequently, we headed to the bar, where we gave out some lovely:

 

Violations

 

Shetland Blow Me loves himself so much, he brought his mini-me to the hash.

 

Gaystation was whining about his sore balls, even though we all know it was his ass that was hurting.

 

Mannipple Lickter said that vaginas are always cold and they suck away body heat.  Dude’s gotta stop picking up chicks at the morgue.


The hares said there was no theme this week, but they were lying–the theme was, “parking garages.”

 

Cum of a Preacher’s Hand is giving up and getting married this weekend.

 

When asked about whether we could have end circle on the outside patio of the bar, Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Cock said, “It’s still spritzing out!,” in further proof that he was hoping that it’d be raining men.

 

Put It Out called his dad’s skydiving buddy a “young’un.”  The guy he was referring to is about 70.

 

Hong Kong Ptooey! flashed a bunch of young girls.  On the one hand, she’s doing it wrong.  On the other, less competition for me!

 

 

Violations from the Crowd

 

The hares told everyone they’d need headlamps, but with the exception of RPI, didn’t bring any themselves.

 

Please Step Away from the Whores did something wrong at work–the metro caught on fire.

 

Gaystation said he “didn’t know it was gonna be that deep.”  Um.  Yeah, you did.

 

PIO, Whiskey Business, Gaystation, and Cum on Prancer wore matching wife beaters and jorts, because they thought they were skipping the hash and, instead, filming a remake of “Deliverance.”  Squeal like a pig, boys!

 

It was PIO‘s idea to wear the jorts.

 

Roll Over, Bitch! tried to correct someone on a song and got it wrong himself.  FAIL

 

 

We were already at the bar, so we skipped the naming and went straight to trying to get laid.

 

No more parking garages,

Tits for Tots

EWH3 Scribe

EWH3 #610: Arlington Cemetery Trail – Thursday, September 23, 2010 
 
Where: Arlington Cemetery Metro — Blue Line. Follow chalk marks from the metro exit to the start…and look for 100 of your closest friends standing around looking irreverent.
 
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, September 23, 2010. Pack away at 7:15ish. 
 
Hares:  My Little Pony, I’ll Packa, Silver Spooge, Peter Peter Manhole Eater, and Just Lauren.
 
Misc: A to B, One noted “tricky” dog area…otherwise ok for your pup. Please note your hares have told me to emphasize: HEADLAMPS, HEADLAMPS, HEADLAMPS. DRY SHOES, DRY SHOES, DRY SHOES. And a strong will and a strong liver…but we always have those, uhhhh, right? 
 
OnOnOn:
(the lovely and always friendly) Continental
1911 N. Fort Myer Drive
Arlington, VA 22209
703-465-7675
 
Specials: I was told to say “Virginia is special because it’s for lovers” but I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
 

————————————-
DC Area Upcumming Hash Events:
 
1) CHECK OUT BeltwayBob Hash Happy Hour http://www.dchashing.com/community/beltwaybob/  Tell them EWH3 sent you and then drink everyone else under the table.

2) Red Dress Run Registration Open! Oct 9, 2010 ~ Almost 400 signed up so far (79 signed up from EWH3… the largest DC contingent thus far!!!), sign up now before the price goes up again!
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16490&cat=288&page=1
 
3) Lingerie Run (aka Red Dress Run Pre-lube) Registration Open! Oct 8, 2010 ~ Already over a 100 signed up, don’t miss the party before the party! https://store.hashspace.com/dcfullmoon
 

EWH3 #609: Bethesda Trail – Thursday, September 16, 2010 
 
Where: Bethesda Metro — Red Line. Follow chalk marks from the metro exit to the start try not be scared of all the red Mary-land commies and find a group of wankers dressed up for a hash themed hash.
 
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, September 16, 2010. Pack away at 7:15ish. 
 
Hares: Rear Protein Injection, Presidential Nasty, RhinoBlastMe, RU-469? and Just Bradley
 
Misc: A to A’, Dog Friendly. Dress like a runner and for god’s sakes BRING A HEADLAMP! (it’s getting dark early these days, and I’m sick of playing ‘Mom’…gotta switch up roles, or else role playing loses it’s mystique). Hares didn’t see any PI on trail but you can never be too careful…er, something… 
 
OnOnOn:
Tommy Joe’s
4714 Montgomery Lane
Bethesda, MD 20814-5385
(301) 654-3801
 
Specials: $3.50 on ALL drafts (including Guinness, Bass and Stella) and 1/2 Price Wings & Nachos
 
Last trains: 11:47 inbound (to DC in dumb-speak) 12:23 outbound (farther out into Commie land)
 
————————————-
DC Area Upcumming Hash Events:
 
1) So Happy Its Tuesday (SHIT) H3 Annual General Meeting Registration Open! Sept 11, 2010. This event has been called the best bang for your buck, don’t miss out!
http://sohappyh.s459.sureserver.com/SHIT_8thAGM.php
 
2) Red Dress Run Registration Open! Oct 9, 2010 ~ Almost 400 signed up so far (79 signed up from EWH3… the largest DC contingent thus far!!!), sign up now before the price goes up again!
https://store.hashspace.com/product.php?productid=16490&cat=288&page=1
 
3) Lingerie Run (aka Red Dress Run Pre-lube) Registration Open! Oct 8, 2010 ~ Already over a 100 signed up, don’t miss the party before the party!https://store.hashspace.com/dcfullmoon