Hares: CockSoup, Whiskey Business, YuleLog, Monday Sticky Monday Virgins: Sara and Jeff Visitors: Can’t Fuck Dust, Road Kill (Nigeria), Double Header (Cairo) Analversaries: Colon Foul (17), Slip Knot (269) OnOnOn: Café Asia
This is a public service announcement: When donating blood it is recommended that you wait longer than 24 hours before engaging in strenuous activity in combination with alcohol.
Let’s just say I have now learned this lesson the hard way. Since it was a nice day I decided to have a few drinks before hash. One drink left me drunk the three more I downed left me nearing blackout…so needless to say the first half of trail is pretty foggy. I do remember that it had been a long time since I had seen that many people at a hash, looks like it’s time for those fair weather hashers to start reappearing. I’m going to assume that the first half of trail was typical to any NOVA/Rosslyn trail….hilly and full of brown flip flops. I do remember some nice shiggy before entering beer check at a dead end.
No idea what the second half of trail was like as I decided that it would probably be a good idea to walk the rest. Per usual we ended up on the top of the parking garage where we were able to enjoy the warm spring breezes and some….
London Bitches Going Down took a shot to the eye, learning the hard way that its always better to swallow.
Never Leave Labia In the Corner was using her lack of headlamp as an excuse to grope guys….you don’t need an excuse to do that
Scarlett Letter spends too much time on her knees.
Latter Day Stains was trying to seduce himself a young bride by wearing a tiger hat.
Just Jeff was found bleeding after his first time
Hungry Hungry Homo saw a cat run across the road and yelled “hey look a rabbit!” apparently he has no idea what a real pussy looks like.
Violations from the Crowd:
I know I got violated for something as well as a few others but we were almost out of beer and it was time for a more important event…A NAMING!
Just Ann is from Pittsburg and went to William and Mary where she majored in Physics. She works for National Geographic and enjoyed being choked while having standing up sex. She is currently sleeping with Roll Over Bitch. She once had sex in an ally and ended up sleeping in a car. She sadly doesn’t own any sex toys but her favorite barnyard animal is a horse. She was once caught masturbating by her mom.
Names that didn’t suck:
2 Outs, 3 Outs, My In Gag Me With The Poon CumFoo Grip Where The Streets Have No Shame Choke a Bitch Ally McFeel
And so it was determined that henceforth and throughout the world of hashing, Just Ann would be known as Where The Streets Have No Shame
Hares:Generals Farm Animal, Red Vag of Courage, Gaystation, Sphincter Shy, Just Mary
Visitors: Just Jay (DCH4)
After braving the red-line of death, urban youth that loiter outside Chinatown (seriously, if it wouldn’t interrupt my commute I would be very tempted to push some of them into an oncoming metro…I know that’s horrible, these kids are the future), and the usual metro delays I finally made it Braddock Road just in time for the pack to circle up. After harassing our only virgin we were off on what was sure to be an awesome….wait seriously BC 10 already….not cool. After that it was pretty much a tour off all of the NOVA houses I plan to receive in the settlement after my first divorce. We ran into beer check in the parking lot of a church, which actually had a really nice view!
After partaking in several beers in an attempt to warm up the pack was once again off and running down a huge hill….we should have known better, when does the trail ever go downhill…another BC. And back up the hill we went. Thankfully the rest of the trail was pretty quick and we ran into the final circle behind that bakery that always smells delish, but not as good as the orange food we demolished before it was time for….
Generals Farm Animal was showing his age when he had to write down trail notes so that he wouldn’t forget anything
Apparently it is black history month on the Africa Channel, so ZZ Bottom III was brought out to celebrate his heritage.
Holy Milk of My Mother was heard saying that she “needed to spit it out.” We all now spitters are quitters.
When asked why he wasn’t drinking more, Wanks Like an Egyptian said that it was because he was on Mismanagement and was trying to set a good example…..seriously
The Hares for having low self esteem and giving themselves a 30 min head start….and then immediately BCing everyone.
Generals Farm Animal was reliving his childhood walk to school by laying a trail that was uphill both ways
Violations from the Crowd:
I’m sure there were some but they weren’t very good…mostly your standard making fun of Roll Over Bitch and Sphincter Shy trying to be funny.But then it was time for a naming!!!! OMG I love namings!
Just Emily is from Vermont and went to Bryn Maher where she majored in anthropology.She is currently putting her degree to use as a nanny for 4 kids and her favorite Disney movie is Pocahontas.She also loves singing Karaoke at gay bars. After this year’s AGM she went to London Bitch’s after party and was looking all over for his cat, since she was unable to find it she took comfort in some guy’s pants.Apparently giving her a 4loco will result her taking anyone home.
Names that didn’t suck:
A Streetcat named Deflower
I Want It Anyway
Aunt Vagina’s Maple Syrup
And so it was determined that henceforth and throughout the world of hashing, Just Emily would be known as Aunt Vagina’s Maple Syrup
Misc: A to A’. Dog friendly. Crack out the speedos, s(j)horts, and uber-short shorts for this one if you dare because its supposed to be a nice one! Headlamps and a dry change of clothes may still be needed since it technically is winter and may be a bit brisk afterwards.