Where: Braddock Road Metro – Blue/ Yellow Line – follow marks to the start.

When: 6:45 P.M, Thursday, February 10, 2011. Pack away at 7:15ish. 
 
Hares: Generals Farm Animals, Red Vag of Courage, Gaystation, Sphincter Shy, Just Mary
  
Misc:  A to A’.  Dog friendly.  Bring a parka, headlamp, boots, and beer-flavored chocolates for the MisManagement.  Its gonna be cold since it is winter and because Virginia is about one of the worst places on Earth. Bring anti-itch, anti-fungal, and pro-lubrication gels and sprays.
  
OnOnOn:

Fireflies
1501 Mount Vernon Ave

 

 AlexandriaVA  22301


–or– (if you don’t want to be one of the cool kids)
Rusticos  
827 Slaters Lane
Alexandria, VA  22314
703.224.5051
————————————-
DC Area Upcumming Hash Events:
 

1) CHECK OUT BeltwayBob Hash Happy Hour http://www.dchashing.com/community/beltwaybob/  Tell them EWH3 sent you and then drink everyone else under the table.
2) EWH3 2011 Ski Trip  – Sign Up Here – February 11-13, 2011.
3) Sign Up to Hare before its too late! Email your stunning but sexually mediocre Harerazor at – [email protected]
 
4) WIEH3 Beach Weekend <www.dchashing.org/events/oo_wie_h3_2011_rego_v2.pdf>
    Where: Ocean City, MD
    When 4-6 March
    Cost: $99
 
5) BAH3 Green Dress Run <www.bah3.org>
    Where: Annapolis, MD
    When 12 March
    Cost: $25

EWH3 #634: The Chinese New Years’ Eve Trail, Clarendon Metro

 

Hares:   Dildo Shaggins, Fuxedo, Everything Butt… and The Pimp of Sarajevo

 

Virgins:            Just Rachael, Paul, Able, Richard

 

Visitor: The Alamo, Over the Hump Hash

 

OnOnOn:             Hunan Number One!

 

 

The pack began to congregate right outside of the Clarendon Metro.  It’s the year of the rabbit, and just as usual, everyone was out looking for some tail.  Zing!

 

We circled up late after our GM Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock failed yet again  to get things moving on time (how dare he!) and were soon off into the terrifying depths of white, rich suburbia.  The pack ran into the back neighborhoods, looking to really rouse up some nervous fear amongst the proper families sitting down for a nice dinner, and after much looping and whatnot, circled behind the old ruins of the Royal Lee (tear) and up into the beautiful, sprawling backyard of yet another fancy Clarendon house (read: awkward dirt pit of despair behind yours’ truly’s brick box of a home).  After some beer and some Loko, we were off again, back into Clarendon, this time running through the Barnes&Noble/PotteryBarn/AppleStore Yuppie Haven, and into the parking garage for a nice, pleasantly warm circle, where there were plenty of…

 

Violations

 

When the Hares came to scout and stopped at my house they claimed that they didn’t really know when Chinese New Year is, making them the worst Asian-and-two-white-girls-pretending-to-be-Asians ever!

 

The Pack was warned that by milling around in Whiskey Business’ and Pee Wee’s Little Adventure’s backyard, that they were all at risk for chlamydia.

 

Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock biked 600+ miles in a bet to prove he had the bigger penis but forgot that in the process of doing so he would lose his balls.

 

PutItOut allowed the lighting to go out at the WH4 Holiday Party, not realizing that some of us would take that seriously and actually black out.

 

Manipple Lichter brought new shoes to the hash.  Duh.

 

Just Aaron thought that bringing a girl to the hash so that she’d say “Just Aaron made me cum” would help dispel certain, er, “rumors.”  Sorry buddy!

 

SnatchShot watered Plan B.

 

Big Bang was overheard saying “Well, it certainly looks like I’m going down.”  Poor, SnatchShot snatch!

 

Red Vag of Courage dropped her bag in Bolohead Rat’s urine.

 

Double Ohh Positive has a duck call app on his iPhone.  If you’re that much of a redneck, how do you have an iPhone?

 

Just Lisa had glitter all over her outfit, so it was like following Disco Barbie. 

 

Dungeons and Drag Queens was brought into the circle so that Just Lisa could see just who was following her.

 

Chippen Failz showed up in a nice car, but since everyone’s already seen his penis, driving a car loudly was not going to convince the ladies that he’s well-endowed.

 

Chippen Failz showed up sick, giving girls a polite reason to run away from him.

 

 

Violations from the Crowd

 

JAG Queen came out looking quite flamboyant.  Sweet tights!

 

Dial F for Faggot did something that in my handwriting looks like “bag of boosing college student.”  Not sure, but yay!

 

CockSoup fit into Dildo Shaggins’ jeans.

 

Underground Railroad was for some unknown, crazy reason, jealous of Chippen Failz.

 

Dungeons and Drag Queens had too much safety on trail.

 

 

And then, of course, we did that little thing called a naming!

 

Just Aaron was born and raised in Salt Lake City.  He went to Brigham Young University, and guess what, WAS a Mormon!  Keyword is was, because if you know Aaron, you know he’s always surrounded by a gaggle of harriettes and taking photos with them.  He only has one mom (shocking!), he’s into accounting (boring!), he works in Marriot Hotels (accommodating!), he loves Metallica (over-compensating!), lost his virginity at 26 (titillating!), and has had sex to the movie High Fidelity (John Cusack-ing!).  But seriously, all we really focused on was the Mormon thing.  So….

 

MorMAN for Me

Missionary Impossible

Latter Day Stains

Big Love

 

What a short, sweet naming!  Because henceforth and throughout the world of hashing, Just Aaron will be known as Latter Day Stains.

 

We sang, we drank, we celebrating the New Year of a much more ancient and richer culture than ours.

 

Has ANYONE ever had a bad time at Hunan Number One?

Whiskey Business

EWH3 Scribe

 EWH3 #634: The Chinese New Years Eve Trail – Thursday, February 3, 2011  
 
Where: Clarendon Metro – Orange Line – follow marks to the start.
 
When: 6:45 P.M, Thursday, February 3, 2011. Pack away at 7:15ish.  
 
Hares: Dildo Shaggins, Fuxedo, Everything Butt… and The Pimp of Sarajevo
  
Misc: We are celebrating Chinese New Year and welcoming the year of the Rabbit! Bunny ears encouraged. Otherwise, it is the usual dry-bag/head lamp-it-is-friggin’-cold-out-there stuff. 
  
OnOnOn

Hunan Number One 
3033 Wilson Boulevard, Arlington, VA 
(703) 528-1177

Specials: Beer mugs as big as Shaggins’ head for under $5. There will also be a band playing in the back room.