EWH3 # 625 Incumming MisManagement Trail of Awesomefunforeveryone.com

 

Hares: Whiskey Business, Wax On Whacks Off, Cock Soup, 1 If By Man 2 If By She, and Jabba the Cunt

                      

Virgins: Just Luke, James, Vince, Bill, Emily, Caitlin, Josh, John, Karen, Megan, EJ, Ashley, Danielle

 

Visitors: Ass Full of White Men (Flower City), Alter Boy (Dayton), I Love the Top

 

Analversaries: 17- Third Wretch, Compost Pile, Miss Me-Gag-Me, Benin Pulled Out 300- Cum Dumpling, Monday Sticky Monday, PIO, WoWo

 

OnOnOn: First Down

 

It was a cold night for the first trail of the new year, but that didn’t seem to stop what felt like a near record number of virgins from showing up. The pack circled up at the Virginia Square metro and after an entertaining round of My Name is Joe was off running through the gently rolling hills that seem to comprise the DC suburban area. We quickly came to what we thought was a shot check in someone’s back yard, however the entire pack was looking around for the shots and there were none to be found. We looked in the grill, in the crawl space under the deck and anywhere else we could think of but our shots were nowhere to be found. As we dejectedly walked towards the front of the house there was a light and beneath that light were our shots, and we were happy, and then we found out it was whiskey and ginger and we were even happier. Freshly lubed up, the pack continued through more condo’s and post college frat houses that make up Arlington. We found another shot check with some sort of Bailey’s concoction…I just love Bailey’s its so creamy and delicious…After that it was some more zigzagging across Arlington until finally we made it to someone else’s backyard for beer check. At the beer check we found probably one of the coolest fire pits ever, that thing was shooting flames 3ft in the air!  If there is something that will entertain drunken idiots more than fire I have yet to find it.   

 

After warming up by the fire…and burning anything we could fit down the chimney, we were once again off running down Wilson towards that little Mexican place and to the final shot check which had SunnyD in it. Apparently the hares all thought it was a better to sit around loading up on Vitiman C to fight off those colds they were sure to get after running around in jorts in January than to go and lay the rest of the trail. Thankfully they didn’t need much of a head start since after we left we pretty much ran around the block and found the On In. It was finally time for some goldfish, beer and…..

 

Violations:

 

Just Luke apparently had the runs and took several shits on trail.

 

Shetland Blow Me was discussing his hard wood….it may be hard but we all know its not that big.

 

The Hares were to busy drinking their shots at the shot check to go lay trail.

 

Double Ohh Positive had a CD of duck calls in his truck….you might be a redneck if.

 

Cum Dumpling was a raceist.

 

Jabba the Cunt was living up to her name with the Princess Leia hair-do.

 

1 If By Man 2 If By She was commended for throwing up for the first time because she drank to much

 

Eat Your Vegetables was discussing the various donkey shows that he has attended.

 

Anyone that was dumb enough to cross the river when there was a bridge 10 feet away.

 

Monday Sticky Monday was quoted in the Washington Running Court Magazine….that’s really raceist.

 

Yule Log enjoys flossing his teeth with curly hairs….

 

Just Aaron wants to get named so bad that he wore a GW shirt just to suck up. 

 

Violations from the Crowd:

 

Fuxedo was caught peeping in windows….only he was really checking out the video game systems

 

Silly Gay Virus got a creeper finger tattoo

 

My Little Pony was able to keep himself from attempting to jump over the fire and going to the hospital

 

Eat Your Vegetables autohashed

 

Just Tim is from California and Alaska, where he could see Russia from his bedroom window. He attended some “college” at Daytona Beach where he majored in judging wet t-shirt contests. He is currently in the Marines and is also a pilot. When he was 12 he went to an all girls sleepover where the spent the night playing dress up, painting each others nails and apparently giving him hand jobs. Despite this he did not lose his virginity until he was 17 and it was a bit of a disappointment. He once landed a plane while he was receiving a blow job. He was once arrested for puking in the gutter. He is apparently allergic to everything and once went into anaphylactic shock while drive. After the 13 beers of Christmas half marathon he went on a job interview while drunk.     

 

Names that didn’t suck:

 

Double Down on 12

Anaphylactic Cock

Pillow Flight

Chucky Sleeze

Honorable Discharge

Air Head

 

Henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing (except Great Falls–fuck them!), Just Tim shall be known as Air Head

 

OnOn

6 Pigs in a Blanket

EWH3 Scribe

 

 

 

 

EWH3# 624:  Red Vag’s Angry (Sex) Trail, Union Station Metro (Red Line of Fury)

Hares:   Red Vag of Courage, Hungry Hungry Homo, PSA, and Mystery Walker Hare!

Virgins:   Terry, Boris, Jared, Tammy, Brian, Lea, Sadie

Visitors:  Snowjob ( _______ Bay), Leperchaun (Ghana), Taste My Rainbow (Jolly Roger Tampa Bay HHH)

OnOnOn:  Kelly’s Irish Times

 

The pack circled up on an oddly warm December evening, eager to start a trail which for most would start a 3-day bender to take them through the New Year.  For some, that bender had already started- take PoopDeville for instance, who was already slurring through his New Year’s Resolution to finally kill all his 100+ can stash of Four Loko (but it seemed like such a good idea to buy it all at the time of The Ban!). 

The trail was “G-H-E-T-T-O” as promised, so G-H-E-T-T-O in fact, that the hares couldn’t afford to lay much flour, causing the pack to bunch up on North Capitol street and scratch its collective head in confusion.  It was here where we learned the timeless stand-in-front-of-traffic-with-your-hand-up-and-endanger-your-small-child-so-you-don’t-miss-the-bus technique.  Classic!

We swung up H Street and proceeded to run through back alleys, hitting Florida Ave and then crossing New York Avenue to a nice secluded spot a few blocks away from FedEx.  Afterwards, we essentially made a beeline back to the pretty much known endspot- that parking garage by 395 with the big tall concrete thing.  Yay!

Violations

The whole pack was made to toast a bar to recognize that, no matter what it is, they were all breaking their New Year’s Resolution.

Chocolate Covered Cherry and Pee Wee’s Little Adventure were stopped by a man who asked them what they were doing.  After telling him that we are a running club, he asked, “SO you do this every Saturday?”  I was just annoyed they didn’t pick up any of what he was on.

PoopDeville not only showed up drunk, but showed up in new shoes.  And then showed up to circle in his underwear.  At least he wasn’t alone- Pee Wee’s Little Adventure and SillyGayVirus had the same idea.

Chocolate Covered Cherry and Whiskey Business had shotgunnable beers- so they had to drink them to Kid Rock from the crowd.

Rear Protein Injection, well, to quote our own Sphincter Shy:

RPI accidentally left a duffel bag at Tunni’s one night. No harm, no foul — typical hash behavior. Hell, all things being equal, any of us would have returned it to him at the next hash without even opening it for fear of catching a whiff of his dank, stinky clothes from the previous hash.

Except for two little things: he apparently expressed more than a little anxiety about the bag when he called Tunni’s directly about it and it was kinda oddly misshapen. So Gaystation, being Gaystation, in the course of dutifully returning RPI’s bag, investigated. He brought the results of his investigation to the attention of the scribe, our own Whiskey Business, at the next hash.

And so Whiskey Business shared the contents of the bag with the entire circle.

Contents:

one set, leather manacles

one set, handcuffs

one wooden yardstick (red sharpie inscription: ‘spank me…’)

one wooden yardstick (used, heavily)

one riding crop, black leather

one whip

one cat o’nine tails

I’m going to stop here because that’s where Whiskey stopped. Yes, WhiskeyWhiskey — was so overwhelmed with embarrassment at what was still in there that he stopped before emptying the bag.

 

Violations from the Crowd

Note: Whiskey Business did not have gloves and cannot read his handwriting, but he sure remembers a lot of laughing!!!! LOLOLOL!

 

And then we had a special event…a naming- Oh wait…ooops.

 

Was everybody happy?! Sure seemed like it- well, save for the GMs and the people in queue to be named. *** FYI- if this is you or if you think this is you, make sure you show up, are ready to be fun/spill the beans/have friends who will do so for you, and listen for your name at the end of the circle!

We drank more beer, sang some Aladdin in the parking lot (no joke- photographic proof!), and had some fun times!

 

Here’s to Car Bombs and Cab rides,

-Whiskey Business

EWH3 Scribe

EWH3 #625: Incuming MisManagement Trail of Awesomefunforeveryone.com – Thursday, January 6, 2011  

Where: Virginia Square Metro – Orange (Crush) Line – follow marks to the start.
When: 6:45 P.M, Thursday, January 6, 2011. Pack away at 7:15ish.  

Fairy Hares: Whiskey Business, Wax On Whacks Off, Cock Soup, 1 If By Man 2 If By She, and Jabba the Cunt

Misc: A to A’. Bring headlamps, warm clothes, and possibly dry socks and shoes.  It is still winter out there, people, and the MM team is a bit feisty!  Dog friendly. Hares may or may not be wearing jorts…

OnOnOn:
First Down Sports Bar and Grill

4213 North Fairfax Drive, Arlington, VA 22203
(703) 465-8888

Specials:
TBD