It’s hot. It’s humid. It’s summer in DC. Cool off with the biggest pool-free pool part this side of the Anacostia. Whether you prefer to BREASTstroke, Doggy (style) paddle, or just hang by the edge, prepare to get wet and wild.
For the second year in a row, we’ll have itsy-bitsy attire and plenty of gummy bears (and also maybe some “teeny weenies” – sorry not sorry). Cum dressed to impress in your bikinis, one piece suits, speedo, tankini, or mankini.
When: 6:45 PM Thursday June 13th, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!
Where: Waterfront Metro – follow marks to start!
Hares: Poon-apple Juice, L’Chymen, Bitches Give Stitches, Son What The Fuck?!, Heaven’s Gape, Schrodinger’s Cock
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A. You WILL get wet! Trail is dog-friendly, and so is on-after, but do you really want to smell a wet dog all night? (Present company excluded). It should be a nice summer night. Pack smartly and bring you water wings & mug! Be smart, have fun.
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A. You WILL get wet! Trail is dog-friendly, and so is on-after, but do you really want to smell a wet dog all night? (Present company excluded). It should be a nice summer night. Pack smartly and bring you water wings & mug! Be smart, have fun.
Last trains out of Waterfront (Green Line):
Branch Ave 11:46 PM
Greenbelt 11:24 PM
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a thirsty hasher in possession of a good vessel, must be in want of a beverage.” – Jane Austen Pride month in DC. Not since Regency Britain has there been such an idyllic time. So don your most festive attire and join the pack as it pridefully pounds its way through NW. You may want to dust off that Pride attire if you have not already done so. Or a cheeky cravat a la Beau Brummel? Up to you!
When: 6:45 PM, June 6th, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!
Where: Foggy Bottom (Orange / Blue / Silver lines) – follow marks to start (Washington Circle)!
Hares: Wait Wait, Don’t Fuck Me; Agent Orgy; No Strings Attached; Polly Wanna Crackwhore; Mr. Holland’s Anus; and a Mystery Hare.
Trail Length: Runners:a little more than four milesWalkers: a little less than two miles
Misc. Crap: Trail is A to A. Stroller, dog, everything friendly. Bring a lamp, and a mug, and your Pride. Safety third!
Last Trains out of Foggy Bottom: Blue to Franconia / Springfield: 11:34 PM Blue to Largo Town Center: 11:28 PM Orange to Vienna: 11:42 PM Orange to New Carrollton: 11:17 PM Silver to Largo Town Center: 11:15 PM Silver to Wiehle / Reston East 11:27 PM
Where: Stadium Armory Metro (Silver / Orange /
Blue Line)
Hares: Special Head Kid, Just Roxy, Heaven’s Gape,
Seizure’s Phallus, Basement Boy Toy, Melabonin, and Stain Gretzky (that’s me!!)
Virgins: Just AJ
Visitor: technically
a long-time-no-see-em, Tosh.Homo
On-After: Trusty’s, where good decisions go to die
Violations
First, to the Ore-Ho, Son, What The Fuck?!, for buying us Silly Circles. This is offensive because 1) I take my circles
very seriously and 2) because Silly
Circles are featured on the “crappy
off brands” sub Reddit.
Pinnochi-ho
was violated for skipping half of trail to snare Special Head Kid, taking his shorts, hoisting them aloft on a giant
stick, and then affixing them to a dumpster so he didn’t have to keep holding
them, but more importantly, because SHK couldn’t reach them up there.
Tragic
Carpet Ride was heard commenting that the melty mint julep Jell-O shots
looked like a placenta. First of many questions
I have… how do you know that?? And, it
didn’t stop me from eating 6 of them and yelling at everyone to help me out on
second half of walkers’ trail.
The inimitable and resourceful General’s Farm Animal noted that these
extremely minty shot checks would refresh your breath both going down and
coming back up later. *retching noises*
Our GM, Throbbin’
Hood, was caught demonstrating his bug spray application technique that put
bug spray directly into his own eyes… and his hash mug. Inside and out, he’s certainly making sure
that every inch of him is covered!
Scooter
Kunte, DC-based science teacher that she is, loudly mistook the Anacostia
River for a reservoir. Does she even go
here??
And a commendation for Just Paul with his giant black beard, olive complexion, and American
flag silkies… a look for all occasions, but especially for when you want your
dick to say “Freedom,” but your face to say “Detained by TSA.”
And, giddyup, dear reader, we had a very solemn occasion for
smurf-handjob professional, Just Roxy!!!
Just Roxy’s a grad student in economics (Go Terps!) and she can’t
move backwards. Maybe It’s Gaybelline is her sugar daddy, by which I mean he
supplies her favorite substance to masturbate with (it’s semen). The meanest thing she ever did was break up
with someone because he wasn’t weird enough. The weirdest thing she ever did was give
someone head immediately after anal sex.
She also masturbated in the front seat of a car while her mom was
driving. Some top name suggestions
included Kelly-Anne Cumway and The Thin Brown Line. But because she’s a cougar and has a strong
preference for non-white dudes, especially Middle Eastern hotties like Aladdin,
Just Roxy shall henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing be
known as… They Blow Up So Fast!
https://www.ewh3.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EWH3_logo-No-Background.png00Scribehttps://www.ewh3.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EWH3_logo-No-Background.pngScribe2019-05-30 15:50:542019-06-07 15:53:03EWH3 Hash Trash #1128: The Derby Days Trail!
EWH3 #1130: THE SECOND ANAL ITSY-BITSY TEENY-WEENY YELLOW POLKA DOT BIKINI TRAIL! – THURSDAY, JUNE 13TH – WATERFRONT (GREEN LINE)
It’s hot. It’s humid. It’s summer in DC. Cool off with the biggest pool-free pool part this side of the Anacostia. Whether you prefer to BREASTstroke, Doggy (style) paddle, or just hang by the edge, prepare to get wet and wild.
For the second year in a row, we’ll have itsy-bitsy attire and plenty of gummy bears (and also maybe some “teeny weenies” – sorry not sorry). Cum dressed to impress in your bikinis, one piece suits, speedo, tankini, or mankini.
When: 6:45 PM Thursday June 13th, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!
Where: Waterfront Metro – follow marks to start!
Hares: Poon-apple Juice, L’Chymen, Bitches Give Stitches, Son What The Fuck?!, Heaven’s Gape, Schrodinger’s Cock
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A. You WILL get wet! Trail is dog-friendly, and so is on-after, but do you really want to smell a wet dog all night? (Present company excluded). It should be a nice summer night. Pack smartly and bring you water wings & mug! Be smart, have fun.
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A. You WILL get wet! Trail is dog-friendly, and so is on-after, but do you really want to smell a wet dog all night? (Present company excluded). It should be a nice summer night. Pack smartly and bring you water wings & mug! Be smart, have fun.
Last trains out of Waterfront (Green Line): Branch Ave 11:46 PM Greenbelt 11:24 PM
On After: Station 4 1101 4th St SW
Specials: Extended happy hour! $5 house wine, house liquor, select drafts and bottles. Food specials here.
EWH3 #1129: The Pride & Prejudice Trail – 6:45 PM, Thursday, June 6th, 2019 – Foggy Bottom (Orange / Silver / Blue)
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a thirsty hasher in possession of a good vessel, must be in want of a beverage.” – Jane Austen
Pride month in DC. Not since Regency Britain has there been such an idyllic time. So don your most festive attire and join the pack as it pridefully pounds its way through NW. You may want to dust off that Pride attire if you have not already done so. Or a cheeky cravat a la Beau Brummel? Up to you!
When: 6:45 PM, June 6th, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!
Where: Foggy Bottom (Orange / Blue / Silver lines) – follow marks to start (Washington Circle)!
Hares: Wait Wait, Don’t Fuck Me; Agent Orgy; No Strings Attached; Polly Wanna Crackwhore; Mr. Holland’s Anus; and a Mystery Hare.
Trail Length:
Runners:a little more than four milesWalkers: a little less than two miles
Misc. Crap: Trail is A to A. Stroller, dog, everything friendly. Bring a lamp, and a mug, and your Pride. Safety third!
Last Trains out of Foggy Bottom:
Blue to Franconia / Springfield: 11:34 PM
Blue to Largo Town Center: 11:28 PM
Orange to Vienna: 11:42 PM
Orange to New Carrollton: 11:17 PM
Silver to Largo Town Center: 11:15 PM
Silver to Wiehle / Reston East 11:27 PM
On After: Recessions
Specials: You are my pride and joy
EWH3 Hash Trash #1128: The Derby Days Trail!
When: Thursday, May 30, 2019
Where: Stadium Armory Metro (Silver / Orange / Blue Line)
Hares: Special Head Kid, Just Roxy, Heaven’s Gape, Seizure’s Phallus, Basement Boy Toy, Melabonin, and Stain Gretzky (that’s me!!)
Virgins: Just AJ
Visitor: technically a long-time-no-see-em, Tosh.Homo
On-After: Trusty’s, where good decisions go to die
Violations
And, giddyup, dear reader, we had a very solemn occasion for smurf-handjob professional, Just Roxy!!!
Just Roxy’s a grad student in economics (Go Terps!) and she can’t move backwards. Maybe It’s Gaybelline is her sugar daddy, by which I mean he supplies her favorite substance to masturbate with (it’s semen). The meanest thing she ever did was break up with someone because he wasn’t weird enough. The weirdest thing she ever did was give someone head immediately after anal sex. She also masturbated in the front seat of a car while her mom was driving. Some top name suggestions included Kelly-Anne Cumway and The Thin Brown Line. But because she’s a cougar and has a strong preference for non-white dudes, especially Middle Eastern hotties like Aladdin, Just Roxy shall henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing be known as… They Blow Up So Fast!
On – KaBOOM! – on,
Stain Gretzky