https://www.ewh3.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EWH3_logo-No-Background.png00ewh3razorhttps://www.ewh3.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EWH3_logo-No-Background.pngewh3razor2019-02-20 17:12:082019-03-12 21:44:59EWH3 #1111: The Sesame Street Trail, brought to you by the Number 1!
When: Valentine’s Day, Thursday, February 14, 2019
Where: Georgia Ave / Petworth Metro (Green /
Hares: Melabonin, Basement Boy Toy, Red Dong,
Zombie, Just Kevin and Just Ez, Just Surak, and maybe a mystery hare!
Virgins: Justs Mia, Chelsea, Valdilia, Aaron
Visitor: B.D.S.Amateur from Beijing H3
On-After: Don Juan’s Restaurant
Y’all, I thought this was going to be a Valentine’s Day Trail
but it was more like a February 15th aka Discount Chocolate Day Trail
that was technically still in theme but was also too little too late, totally
in shambles, and definitely resulted in me eating cheese in the dark on the
floor in my kitchen. Shout out to SchroCo for sharing his 200th
Violations, and literally every single one is about how
shitty trail was:
birthday girl and alpha hare extraordinare, generously allowed the entire pack
to use Basement Boy Toys’ rear
entrance halfway through trail.
I felt personally victimized by the lack of
Valentine’s gifts left for me in the woods while I was alone going full Blair
Witch Project with virgin Just Mia. I didn’t need jewelry, lingerie, chocolates
or any of that from the hares, all
this girl needed was some flours.
Tonight’s trail definitely felt like a surprise
orgy hosted by the hares. We were all in the dark together and I didn’t
really know where I was going or what was happening but I was definitely
Tonight’s trail felt less like a Valentine’s Day
Trail and more like a David’s Bridal Super Black Friday Sale. Every bitch for themselves and so help me god
if you get in my way.
Tonight’s trail felt like one of those variety
sampler boxes of candy where you just bite into them with blind trust and you’re
just like please god please god no nuts.
And most important, hashy birthday, fuck you, to
Hares: Mourning wood, quid pro blow, heaven’s gape, colliteral damage, Throbbin hood
Virgins: Just Nobody, or I didn’t hear them
Visitors: Cum in my brum
On-After: Froggy Bottom, which was 20% better than everywhere else, they told us so right on the tab
It was a night of extra layers and fast circles. Which also means short trash. It’s definitely not because I’m bad at these… Nope. Not at all. We moved quickly from Dupont to Georgetown because we were all as frozen
Cum in my brum for taking 2 torches to the face and we all know that’s slang for blowing a fire crotch
Just Emily because she got taken by her feels for Pterodactyl porn
Chaffed and confused for his obsession with Obama drone dildo strikes
Tuck tuck deuce for back seat driving walkers trail… he needs to take someones back seat in his back seat
Cumburglur for thinking end circle should have summer foliage year round… we don’t live in California Bro-dy
And finally we should all be commended for getting in and out of that circle before our toes fell off!