EWH3’s MisManagement is absolutely thrilled to announce our kennel’s phased plan to resume limited in-person live trails, which will track the DC Dept. of Health and Mayor’s guidance for reopening businesses in DC. The details of our plan and what stage we are currently at can be found here, and we hope to see you on trail soon! If you have any questions or concerns, please contact us at [email protected].
EWH3 Hash Trash #1187 – The Halfway to Christmas Trail (REAL LIVE TRAIL!)
WHEN: Thursday, June 25th, 2020
WHERE: Garfield Park (HOLY SHIT, NOT *MY* HOUSE?!)
HARES: Poon-Apple Juice, Schrödinger’s Cock
So there I was… quarantined for 104 days, only leaving my house to beer and other necessary supplies like liquor and hard seltzer, trapped in the darkest recesses of my mind in an existential quandary that would drive Nietzsche insane and strike terror into H.P Lovecraft for being too horrific, blistering my hands from masturbating too much (protip: hand sanitizer does not make good lube)…
WHEN SUDDENLY… OUT OF THE DARKNESS… A TRAIL ANNOUNCEMENT!
That’s right, it was our FIRST REAL-LIFE TRAIL in over an astronomical season! Since it was June 25th, the theme was Halfway to Christmas! Only six more months, or two more quarantines, until we get to open presents and argue with shitty relatives!
Given that it had been 3 months since our last trail, a LOT of us were rusty and forgot how trail worked, and we did some STUPID shit:
Even the cummendations came with a healthy dose of snark:
Things got even worse at End Circle…
The pack as a whole was not spared for their transgressions:
ON-I FORGET WHAT “ON-ON” IS-ON
Close Encounters of the Turd Kind
EWH3 #1187 – Halfway to Christmas (Phase Two Trail) – Capitol South (Blue/Orange)
It’s been 101 days. In that time, we have missed:
Spring Break (woo!)
Easter (Guess Jesus really can’t go hashing…)
Cinco De Mayo
Memorial Day
Mother’s Day
Summer Solstice
So buckle up, you naughty wankers, we’re somehow…
Halfway to Christmas!
We may not be able to stuff your shiggy socks full of joy, but your MisManagement has another gift for you: A Real Live Trail!
So pack your sac full of libations, gather up your ho-ho-hos, and don your most festive outfit, whatever you decide to celebrate!
You have three options for this trail:
1. Virtual Only: Post a photo to the Google Album following the requirements listed below.
2. Iso-Trail: Any time on Thursday between 10:00 AM and 5:00 PM, find trail and run on your own. Snap a photo at the indicated spot and post for credit. If you choose this option, do NOT mark checks, but please DO touch up any faded or distorted marks as you go.
3. Live Packs: Two packs of 25 will gather for BYOB trail. You must sign up here via Hash Rego to attend! Hash Rego will open on Sunday June 21 at Noon.
When: Anytime before 5:00 on Thursday, June 25; OR
Live Packs out at 5:00 and 7:00 – Sign up on Hash Rego required! Be sure to read the requirements carefully before committing!
Where: Garfield Park
D’Erections: From the Capitol South metro, walk South down First St SE. When you reach the park, continue to the lower corner and stop before the staircase.
Hares: Poon-apple Juice, Schrodinger’s Cock
Trail Length: 3.14 miles (We also missed Pi Day!)
Photo Requirements: To receive credit, you must post at least one of the following to the google album, linked here:
1. Snap a photo on trail at the photo check.
2. Show off your winter cheer by dressing up and creating a snow-free angel. Get creative and post a photo or gif to the Google Photo album.
3. Did you choose to celebrate in a different way? Show us your festive attire and tell us why that’s the holiday you’re most excited to relive!
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A, BYOB & Snacks, Be Safe, Stay Distant, Wash your hands. Refer to the email about EWH3 reopening for details.
Optional Beer Check: Don’t want to carry your own beverages? When you reach the beer check location, look for a note from your hares about an optional, unofficial beer check suggestion.
Virtual Circle:
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89534210105?pwd=VUpFZXVkazd3SXp2UFNic2VVKzlWUT09
Meeting ID: 895 3421 0105
Password: beer
EWH3 #1186 – The PRIDE Trail! (Virtual Trail)
When: Any time on Thursday, June 18 (but circle up at 7pm!)
Where: Wherever you happen to be
Hares: You!
Trail Length: Whatever you decide
Theme: PRIDE!
Somehow in the year 2020, it is June – a month that is usually celebrated across DC with bunting along the streets, beads that you don’t know prior whereabouts, and enough glitter to raise eyebrows in the office for weeks. For this year’s pride trail, hit one or more of the following locations during your trail and snap a photo for hash flash:
– Supreme Court!
– A statue or fountain (i.e. DuPont circle)
– one of our favorite LGBTQ+ breweries !
– a Jell-O shot at Nellies!
– P Street Beach
– headstone of Frank Kameny, DC gay rights activist, in Congressional Cemetary.
– anywhere else on this map of LGBT places and spaces in DC:
At any time on Thursday, June 18, take a break from the tedium of social distancing and join us in any way you can. Choose a location for your runner’s, walker’s, or quarantined trail. Inside or outside, it’s up to you. Decide for yourself if you will be running/walking solo or with your quaranteam.
Post it to our Google Photos album with your hash name and any interesting tidbits from your adventure. Check out everyone else’s dumb decisions and comment away! You must post on Thursday by midnight to receive credit for the trail, but feel free to continue liking, commenting, and supporting one another.
CIRCLE UP at 7pm! Join Zoom Meeting:
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89534210105?pwd=VUpFZXVkazd3SXp2UFNic2VVKzlWUT09
Meeting ID: 895 3421 0105
Password: beer
On After: Join a virtual On-After with Smut Slam! This is not a hash-hosted event (but certainly incorporates hasher interests, you naughty wanks) Info here: https://m.facebook.com/events/264737907978221/
Interested in hosting next week? Email me at [email protected] !
A message from your Brew Meister for properly executing your personal brew crews on trail. Please consider buying local when you can during these times. Whether a restaurant, bar, or direct from the brewery we can help our local establishments through these trying times. Beers enjoyed outside are best done in a koozie, please recycle when appropriate, and remember we’re hashers not trashers. I hope you’re all doing well, On-Quarantine-On!
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