EWH3 #606: The “Assflac will kill ASMA if this trail sucks” Trail, Courthouse Metro
Hares: A-Salt My Ass, Chip ‘n Failz, Wanks like an Egyptian, Just Leslie
Virgins: Andrew, Gillian, Kim, Matt, Christine.
Visitors: None. Everyone was intimidated.
OnOnOn: Caribbean Breeze…oh wait, they don’t like tons of sweaty people with bags willing to throw money at them….so actually First Down.
OK, so I promised myself I’d never do this, that’d I’d stay a cantankerous hasher and always find a way to bitch, but hats off to A-Salt My Ass– you really must have a lot of free time on your hands because this was a great trail. Honestly, it took two weeks for the awesomeness of it to wash away so that I could finally sit down and write this. Yea, that’s it…
The pack circled up by the Courthouse movie theater to go and see Twilight Eclipse…er, I mean, to wait for start. We ran up through some nice urban shiggy, a particularly good hill, and then looped through Clarendon to high-five the yuppies. The pack ran and ran, at one point slowing down to navigate a bamboo forest, and eventually came to a grinning Chip’n Failz waiting outside of a tunnel with some delicious shots. Well, I thought, at least they’re going to lube us up before they f*ck us. We went into the tunnel, which was actually spacious and, if you had a headlamp or were by someone who had one, was actually an enjoyable run. We came out the other side to have a beer check in the middle of the creek, with cans being tossed from bank to bank, island to island. Note to self: it is difficult to do your job when half the pack is across the shore. Other Note to self: it is difficult to do your job when you are generally an irresponsible person in the first place.
From there it was a run along with Custis Trail with some nice FRB loops (or, if you’re Big Bang you can just sniff out trail) that ended in the W&L parking garage.
Just Dorothy came prepared for head on trail by bringing a fannypack filled with lipstick.
Edgar Allen Hoe had fun exploring the metal cervix (or art) at the start.
The Walkers gripe about never getting a “real trail” but didn’t go through the tunnel when the trail took them there.
Tony Panda took a cab, which was fine because he has a broken leg. My main concern was that he didn’t have a friend willing to drive him to the hash.
Assflac was being a whiny bitch. ‘Nuff said.
Just Brian asked Chip’n Failz what was in the shot because he is allergic to everything- well, let’s see if that includes beer.
Wank Like an Egyptian was trying to look like MotorMouth but is not black or loud enough.
Dr. Boner ran through the bamboo forest and held everyone up because he was feeling nostalgic about his homeland.
Just Morgan brought new shoes, so you know what happened.
Violations from the Crowd
We’ve heard of stuffed underwear, but not until Wank Like an Egyptian had we seen a stuffed bathrobe.
Compost Pile had the audacity to have a birthday that day. Asshole.
Dickfront Property was violated for being nice…I hate my handwriting…
Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock beat a gay man at gay chicken, while Manniple Lichter watched on eagerly.
I’ll Push Backa could not get a manicure because he had a marathon coming up…
And then, of course, it was that time for that thing with the thing and thing…you know, a NAMING!
Just Brennan lost her V at 21, went to UVA and was a Chi Omega sorority girl. She now works for the DoD trying to solve the war in Afghanistan. Yea, because referring to it as a puzzle makes light of things. Her favorite barnyard animal is a horse. One time, while hooking up in bed the lucky fella’s cell phone rang. He then preceded to put the vibrating phone near…well, you get the picture. At UVA she was on the volleyball team and got herself a girlfriend (she ended breaking things off, though, because said girlfriend got “too clingy”). She showed up to the hash with a giant hickey on her arm, once had sex with a professor in college, and when she was 8 and he was 4, convinced her brother that he was adopted.
Bump, Set, Dyke
X Cums Before Y
1 If By Man, 2 If By She
Magnum Cum Louder
Grade A F*ck
There’s No Pi in Team
After much deliberation, Just Brennan will known henceforth and forever more as 1 if by Man, 2 if by She….(I love history).
We drank, sang, and were not allowed at the OnOnOn….It’s cool though, 7-11 has sweet nachos.
EWH3 #608: The Grumpy Old (hot) Men Hash- Thursday, September 9, 2010
Where: Tenleytown Metro — Red Line. Follow chalk marks from the metro exit to the start or follow the smell of Bengay and beer.
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, September 9, 2010. Pack away at 7:15ish.
Hares: BoloheadRat, WaxOnWaxOff, PutItOut, BigBang and MondayStickyMonday
Misc: A to A’, Possibly dog friendly? Ask WoWo if Maisey can run it…then your dog probably can too. Come prepared to listen to the old guys tell us how much better the hash was back when they started. Oh and also, bring the usual hash supplies and make sure to the throw a headlamp in, it’s easier to see the old men (and hash) that way.
The Dancing Crab
4615 Wisconsin Ave
Washington, DC 20016, USA
LAST TRAIN inbound metro 11:52.
Specials: $8 pitchers Miller and assorted eats — they’re keeping kitchen open until 11 for us.
DC Area Upcumming Hash Events:
1) So Happy Its Tuesday (SHIT) H3 Annual General Meeting Registration Open! Sept 11, 2010. This event has been called the best bang for your buck, don’t miss out!
2) Red Dress Run Registration Open! Oct 9, 2010 ~ Almost 400 signed up so far (79 signed up from EWH3… the largest DC contingent thus far!!!), sign up now before the price goes up again!
3) Lingerie Run (aka Red Dress Run Pre-lube) Registration Open! Oct 8, 2010 ~ Already over a 100 signed up, don’t miss the party before the party!https://store.hashspace.com/dcfullmoon
EWH3 #607: The Super Villain Trail – Thursday, September 2, 2010
Where: Potomac Ave. Metro—Orange/Blue Line. Follow chalk marks from the metro exit to the start and look for a lot of people who like to play dress up
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday, September 2, 2010. Pack away at 7:15ish.
Hares: Sargeant Tackleberry and Evil League of Evil also known as: Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack, 6 Pigs in a Blanket, Pee on Your Colada and RhinoBlastMe
Misc: A-B. No Dogs on the First Half of Runners Trail!!! Yes, this is a themed hash, so come dressed to impress as your favorite (or made up) super villain! A note from your harerazor: If you dress up like The Monarch, I will love you forever (read: take you home and love you long time). Also, make sure to bring headlamps people…it’s becoming that time of year again.
639 Pennsylvania Ave SE,
Washington, DC 20003, USA
Phone: (202) 543-3113
Specials: $2 Bud Lights (the official beer of villainy)
DC Area Upcumming Hash Events:
1) 17th Anal Dewey Beach Labor Day ash House Harriers Hash – Sunday, Sept 5, 2010 at 11:00 am
WHAT: 17th Anal Dewey Beach H3’s Labor Day Run
WHERE: Rehoboth Beach Visitor Center, 501 Rehoboth Ave. Rehoboth Beach
WHEN: Sunday, September 5, 2010 at 11:00 A.M. (at 11:31, we’ll be gone)
HARE: Extra Creamy Dog Crap
TARE: $10 covers run, beer, food, beer.
TRAIL: A to B (ends in Dewey Beach)
2) So Happy Its Tuesday (SHIT) H3 Annual General Meeting Registration Open! Sept 11, 2010. This event has been called the best bang for your buck, don’t miss out!
3) Red Dress Run Registration Open! Oct 9, 2010 ~ Almost 400 signed up so far (79 signed up from EWH3… the largest DC contingent thus far!!!), sign up now before the price goes up again!
4) Lingerie Run (aka Red Dress Run Pre-lube) Registration Open! Oct 8, 2010 ~ Already over a 100 signed up, don’t miss the party before the party!https://store.hashspace.com/dcfullmoon