Welcome to the non-holiday side of winter. Find you blankets, snuggies, and onesies (which should be close at hand for AGM!) to help you deal with your holiday hangovers!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday January 2nd, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!

Where:  Gallery Place – Chinatown (Green / Red / Yellow)

Hares: GeriatricMandering; Colliteral Damage; Split Her Bare; Honey Bunches of Cunt; Atari 6900

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B and a pavement pounder, although with great city sites. Dog friendly, but no shiggy unless you fall into a planter. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 4 miles long (about 2.15 miles first half and 1.85 miles second half). Walkers’ trail usually is approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail.

Last trains out of Union Station Metro:
Glenmont          11:42 PMShady Grove     11:28 PM

On After:
Hamilton’s Bar & Grill
233 2nd St. NW

Specials: Specials will be announced when the managers return from vacation.

When: Thursday, December 26, 2019

Where:  Greenbelt Metro (Green Line)

Hares:  Special Head Kid, What’s A Boner?, and Please Step Away From The Whores

Virgins:  Just Sarah & Just Masha

Visitors: Honorable Vaginal Discharge (Boston); Private Snowball (Florida Happy Hour H3); Jolly Green Jizzer (NYC H3)

On-After: PSA’s hot tub

It was a romp through the burbs with all your favorites: train tracks, strip malls, gratuitous tunnels, curious neighbors, and accidentally approaching a WMATA van bc all white vans look alike… and all the messed up shit y’all did:


  • Honorable Vaginal Discharge admitted to putting herself into the Witness Protection Program in Okinawa to avoid being bibbed.  Let’s hope Trash doesn’t know how to read!
  • A violation for our runners’ hares, Special Head Kid and What’s A Boner for laying a trail so short and boring they both ran it twice to get enough of a post-Christmas workout.
  • Gunna Probably Spew was showing off to Jolly Green Jizzer: the secret to his speed isn’t hard work and practice, it’s his racing stripes.  You know, that line of hair that goes all the way from his chin to his dick!
  • Atari 6900 was violated for being the worst Songmeister ever.  Upon finding a song check, he sang only the first four words of a song and still managed to fuck it up.
  • And finally, a massive violation to the absolute clown car of a walkers’ trail, since literally every person piled into PSA’s car and didn’t even pretend to go on trail.

No naming, but we had two lady virgins and no immaculate conception so I’ll call that a Christmas miracle.

On – I came back from Jersey for this?! – on,

Stain Gretzky

On the first day of Hashmas, my kennel gave to me
A Yuengling and a Naturday
On the second day of Hashmas, my kennel gave to me
Two White Claws, and a Yuengling and a Naturday
On the third day of Hashmas, my kennel gave to me,
Three Belgian beers, two White Claws, and a Yuengling and a Naturday
On the fourth day of Hashmas, my kennel gave to me
Four orange foods, three Belgian beers, two White Claws, and Yuengling and a Naturday
On the fifth day of Hashmas, my kennel gave to me,
Five Golden Ales!
Four orange foods, three Belgian beers, two White Claws, and Yuengling and a Naturday.
On the sixth day of Hashmas… . oh you get the point.  There’s gonna be beer to drink.

The day we can hash that falls between Christmas and New Years is hereby dubbed by me (at least for this year) Hashmas.  Please join us in Greenbelt for the Hashmas run to Chateau le PSA.  Relatively short trail, and PSA has a hot tub (he is not your towel supplier though so if you want to get dry afterward, please bring a towel).

When: 6:45 circle up, Pack away 7:15!

Where:  Greenbelt metro.  Follow marks to start.

Hares: Please Step Away from the Whores & Special Head Kid

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Some mild shiggy for runners, none for walkers.  Still dark out though, so bring a cranium lamp! Pack smart, have fun.

How Far
Runners 1st half: 1.8 miles
Runners 2nd half:  0.8 miles
Walker’s 1st half:  0.75 miles
Walker’s 2nd half:  0.3 miles

Last train out of Greenbelt to Branch Ave:  10:57 PM

On After: House of PSA (if you’re going there but not planning to run trail, email Hare Razor and he can give you the address.