Visitor: The other DADS, who doesn’t know what
On-After: Freddie’s Beach Bar Bob and Edith’s
Y’all, it was #SquadHoles’
first alpha hare, yay! And for a trail
that put us underground on the nicest Thursday of the year so far, involved repeatedly
running into traffic and an elevator dance sausage party gang bang, and revealed
a concerning number of hashers who don’t know which three colors are on a
stoplight, it was … yeah it was still shitty.
Also, we need to talk about that freaking train DP while I
was trying to do my set in circle. I’m
loud, but not that loud. Rude. Anyway, moving on.
Our walker’s hare L’Chymen walked into a revolving glass door on trail. She may have dyed her hair red, but this Harriette is still a blonde at heart.
Princess Jizzmine decided that road signs are the new LinkedIn and picked out her next career move: 3 men in a truck for $80 an hour. Sold!
Uno, Dos, Tres LIFTOFF! was caught bragging about her GS-14 status. It’s not so much the money we’re concerned about, but the fact that her longest relationship to date has been with Uncle Sam.
#SquadHoles announced via SnapChat (aka his preferred medium for documenting crimes) this week that he is cancelling his adult summer camp due to lack of alcohol permit, a norovirus outbreak, Brexit, and the release of the Mueller Report. He’s been so busy telling everyone how “lit” it was going to be he didn’t realize he had been organizing West Virginia’s very own Fyre Festival. Documentary out on Netflix this fall!
And a big SHAME bell for me for flubbing my period sex joke
about the tunnels of love trail being laid with red and sticky marks. I’m literally named after a menstrual blood
stain. Anyway, we still threw down some
towels and made a mess of that karaoke.
https://www.ewh3.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EWH3_logo-No-Background.png00Scribehttps://www.ewh3.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EWH3_logo-No-Background.pngScribe2019-04-25 14:59:082019-04-26 18:29:12EWH3 Hash Trash #1123: The Tunnels of Love Trail
Who’s single? Who’s taken? Who’s just up for some Netflix and Chill? Who wants to tell their significant other to be on their toes because things are are getting weird? Well now we’ll all know! Rock your availability colors!
Green – SIIIINNNGGGGLLEEE!! Yellow – I could be down, I might be casually dating, come chat about it Red – I’m taken, we can be friends tho!
Be fun, show us your colors. We all know the best relationships are between hashers! So spring into our love tunnels of Crystal City!
When: 6:45 PM Thursday April 25, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!
Where: Pentagon City– Mall Exit – follow marks to start!
Hares: #SquadHoles, L’Hymen, Heaven’s Gape and Poon Apple Juice… AKA #L’GapeHoleJuice
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B. Trail is a urban pavement pounder with many tunnels of love. Stroller friendly. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.
Trail Lengths Runners: 2 miles first half, 2.5 miles second half Walkers: 0.9 first half, 1.25 miles second half
Last trains out of Crystal City: Red, Yellow, Green to Fort Totten: 11:08 PM Blue to Franconia / Springfield: 11:55 PM Yellow to Huntington: 11:31 PM Silver, Blue to Largo Town Center: 11:17 PM
https://www.ewh3.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EWH3_logo-No-Background.png00ewh3razorhttps://www.ewh3.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EWH3_logo-No-Background.pngewh3razor2019-04-24 01:33:112019-04-25 16:39:07EWH3 #1123: THE TUNNELS OF LOVE TRAIL, 6:45PM THURSDAY APRIL 25 IN PENTAGON CITY (BLUE/ YELLOW)
Where: Foggy Bottom Metro (Blue / Orange /
Hares: Deathly Swallows, Fist Pump, Colliteral
Damage, Head Injury, Cheech & Dong, General Tso’s Dicken, and You Sucked My Battledick
Virgins: Just Marissa
On-After: Recessions, you know why
Firstly, a commendation to our Brew Crew, Throbbin Hood and Cum Peg Me, for recruiting underage Mormon missionaries to the hash
before trail even got started by wearing nice little polka dot dresses and
showing off their foggy bottoms in the middle of a college campus.
Shot check hares You Sucked My Battledick and General
Tso’s Dicken celebrated their trail marriage with the breaking of a glass…bottle
of Evan Williams. Battledick rushed off
to the liquor store nearby and saved the day before the runners came. I sure wish that *my* significant other knew he
should go to the liquor store before I come!
Birthday bitch Deathly Swallows and fellow hare Colliteral Damage were clocked in their delightful polka dot aprons. You know what they say, dots in the front,
slots in the back. That definitely made
my dough rise.
I think the
hares got a little confused and thought that this trail was actually the
Boozy Horror Brunch Trail we had back in October… we got lost in the dark,
there was broken glass everywhere, and we encountered a playground with no kids
on it… just Sphincter Shy, shirtless.
Deuce was overheard complaining about trail, per usual, presumably because
someone other than him was getting attention for getting older.
wanted people to closely observe his infectious looking spread of chest polka
dots – watch out unless you want to catch the pox! The anti-vaxxers might be concerned, but frankly,
I’d be lucky if measles was the worst thing I caught from fucking him.
No naming, just a very happy birthday to Deathly Swallows!