Suspension of EWH3 Trails
Due to the COVID-19 pandemic and elevated risk of transmission EWH3 has suspended weekly trails until further notice. Our priority is the safety of our members, and EWH3 Mismanagement will reassess whether the conditions permit us to responsibly and safely run a trail upon the lifting of the Mayor’s order. Please check this page for further updates as the situation warrants.
Hash Trash #1168: The Second Anal Tunnels of Love
When: Thursday, February 13th, 2020
Where: Pentagon City Metro (Blue/Yellow Line)
Hares: Tik Tok It’s Dick o’Clock, #SquadHoles, Close Encounters of the Turk Kind, and Ready Player None
Virgins: Just David, Just Ronnie, Just Sammy, and Just Josh
Visitors and Long Time No See-ums: Lickthiologist, Princess Jizzman, Moremen, Mooseknuckles, Around the World in 80 Lays, Tuneless, Bulletproof Boobs, and two others who said their names too fast both times, Drunken someone and Turkey something.
On After: Freddie’s
On February 14th, 270 A.D., a Roman priest was executed. This led to the cultural appropriation of a pagan fertility festival that we now associate with Hallmark and Trojan. Thank you St. Valentine!
This week’s trail was great for lovers, singles, and basically anyone who likes getting deeeeeep inside some holes. The trail winded through the maze-like Crystal City underground and other Tunnels of Love in the area.
However, no trail is complete without hashers doing dumb things. Here’s a recap of those shenanigans:
Individual Violations:
Group Violations:
On-#DicksOutForVD-On
EWH3 #1168: The 2nd Anal Tunnels of Love – 6:45 PM Thursday, February 13th – Pentagon City (Blue/Yellow Lines)
Who’s single? Who’s taken? Who’s just up for some Netflix & Chill? Who wants to tell their significant other to be on their toes because things are complicated? Well now we’ll know! Rock your availability color(s) in this special Valentine’s Day take on a stoplight trail!
Green – SIIIINNNNGGGGLLEEE!!
Yellow – I could be down, I may be casually dating, let’s chat about it
Red – I’m taken or not interested, but let’s be friends!
Wear the appropriate colors and potentially find your first Valentine of the decade! We all know the best relationships are obvs between hashers, so lurk into the love tunnels of Crystal City with your fav kennel!
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday February 13, 2020. Pack away at 7:15!
Where: Pentagon City (Mall exit) – follow marks to start!
Hares: Tik Tok It’s Dick o’Clock, #SquadHoles, Close Encounters of the Turk Kind, and friends!
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B, and an urban pavement pounder with many tunnels of love. Just Bodhi-friendly. Should be a chilly night given the fact that it’s winter. Pack smartly and bring a cranium lamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.
How Far: Runner’s is approximately 4 miles (2.0 first half / 2.0 second half) and walkers is approximately 2.1 miles (0.9 first half / 1.2 second half).
Last trains out of Crystal City:
BLUE: Largo 11:17pm / Franconia Springfield 11:55pm
YELLOW: Greenbelt 11:05pm / Huntington 11:37pm
On After:
Freddie’s. You know damn well.
Specials: Drunk hare karaoke. See you there, love birds!
EWH3 #1167: The Monopoly Trail – 6:45 PM Thursday, February 6th – Dupont Circle (Red Line)
Are you a Boardwalk boss? A Marvin Garden maverick? Do you have what it takes to earn the monocle and own it all?
Will you go directly to jail or take a trip to Reading Road?
85 years ago the Parker Brothers changed family fun night forever by releasing Monopoly. Cum out Thursday to celebrate all the fun nights and bitter fights this game has brought to our lives.
Bring your thimbles, money bags, and Scotties. If you’re lucky, you might land on a community chest!
(Hopefully there will be no water works on trail)
When: 6:45 PM, Thursday February 6, 2020. Pack away at 7:15!
Where: DuPont Circle – follow marks to start at the statue!
Hares: Mr. Holland’s Anus, Just Kirsten, Son What the Fuck?!, They Blow Up So Fast, Rail Mary, and the Cocktease Falcon
Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to Z, Scottie and wheelbarrow friendly. Pack smartly and bring a cranium lamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.
How Far: Runner’s is approximately 3.3 miles (1.7 / 1.6) and walkers is approximately half that.
Last trains out of McPherson Square:
BLUE: Large 11:32pm / Franconia Springfield 11:30
SILVER: Largo 11:19pm / Wiehle Reston 11:23pm
ORANGE: New Carrollton 11:18pm / Vienna Fairfax 11:40pm