That’s right it’s that time of year again, when we give you TWO, yes TWO ways to drink while running.  We have Regular and Ultra this week, and as always our standard Lite (walkers).  You can choose to either show up at regular time at Minnesota Ave and follow marks to start.. or you can choose the beerier and runnier trail!  Get out to Capitol Heights by 5:30, and you get an epic Ballbusting 11+ mile hunt for FOUR beer checks! So chooseyourownadventure!  Either way, we’ll see you DC Eagle at the end.

Regular Trail When: 6:45 circle up, Pack away 7:15!
Ballbuster When: 5:30 circle up, Pack away 6:00 PM!

Regular Trail Where: Minnesota Ave (orange line)- follow marks to start!
Ballbuster Where: Capitol Heights (blue line) – follow marks to start!

Regular Hares: Wait Wait Don’t Fuck Me & several mystery hares!
Ballbuster Hares: All Flash No Drive, Special Head Kid, Goldman Ballsachs, By the Power of Gayskull, Quid Pro Blow

Miscellaneous Crap: Regular trail is A to A’ (same metro). Ballbuster trail is A to Z. There will be some shiggy on both trails. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp (it’s dark again people!) & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Regular Trail is 2 1/4 first half, and a little more than 2 on the second half.
Walkers is just a little over 1 mile each half.
Ballbuster true trail is 11.5 miles

Last trains out of Minnesota Ave:
Orange Line to New Carrollton:  11:57 PM
Orange Line to Vienna / Fairfax:  11:15 PM 

On After: DC Eagle

Specials: DC Eagle is a pretty special place

From Kennedy Space Center to Walt Disney World, Daytona 500 to the Ten Thousand Islands, Okeefenokee to Okeechobee, and Panama City Beach to South Beach, what caped crusader, high on bath salts, strikes without warning, his trusty sidekick alligator by his side? Florida Man, Florida Man, FLORIDA MAN! Let’s celebrate the colorful native of Florida (America’s wang) with a rousing romp just across the border into a state with nearly-as-bad drivers. Anyone else going to Florida for the InterAm cruise next week?

When: 6:45 circle up, Pack away 7:15!

Where: West Hyattsville – follow marks to start!

Hares: Pinocchi-Ho, Special Red, Split Her Bare, Quid Pro Blow, and Papal Smear

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. There will be light shiggy. Eagles will get wet. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp (it’s dark again people!) & mug! Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be less than five miles long. Walkers’ trail will be less than two and a half miles long. Florida Man doesn’t measure halves! But if you must know, the trail is more or less even halves, between 2-2.5 miles each.

Last trains out of West Hyattsville:
– Branch Avenue: 11:06pm
– Huntington: 11:08pm
– Greenbelt: 12:05am

On After:Lee’s Bar (feat. karaoke until 11pm!)

Specials: Karaoke!

When: Thursday, September 26, 2019

Where:  Union Station Metro (Red Line)

Hares:  General Tso’s Kitten, (Lickin’) Deetz Nutz, Geriatric Meow-ndering, Tail Mary, Mew-mbo # Hives, Schrödinger’s Cat (maybe alive?)

Virgins:  none!

Visitor:  Mike Man from Seoul, Drop and Tug from Yerevan Armenia, Amerigo Vespoogie from Seattle

On-After:  Union Pub

Violations

  • Deep Anal Horizon was violated for becoming the alpha of a new feral cat colony by making his territory all over beer check.
  • Allegedy, Tragic Carpet Ride ran half a block on trail.  You’ve gotta be kitten me.
  • Cum Dumpling was violated because, just like a cat, he is so flexible he can lick his own butthole and, just like a cat, he made eye contact with anyone who dared challenge him while he decided to do this in the middle of a busy H St intersection.
  • Just Gautham looked around at beer check like this wasn’t the friggin’ cat trail and expressed surprise that somebody had “cleaned up” the dead mouse that was there the last time we used that beer check spot.
  • #SquadHoles was violated for freely calling himself a pig on trail.  I mean seriously, that man is a walking roast.
  • Special Red was exceptionally well prepared for trail tonight – with his running flip flops tied on with yarn he was prepared for a cat-toy related emergency at any moment.
  • And finally, a violation for the hares, because the only thing more terrifying, upsetting, and ill-planned than that trail was the trailer for the new Cats movie.

On – check meowt – on,

Stain Catzky