When: Thursday, January 24, 2019

Where:  Pentagon City Metro (Yellow & Blue Line)

Hares:  Atari 6900; Roll Over, Bitch!; Rosetta Bone; Trickle Down Sexonomics; Goldman Ballsachs and … no one as sweeper? (more on this later)

Virgins:  Just Jackie, Just Brian, Just Monica, Just Gian

Visitor:  I Make Cops Cum (Las Vegas, but now Sioux Falls South Dakota!)

Long time no see ’em: A classically drunk and belligerent Cum Brew Lay, from Africa!

On-After:  Freddie’s Beach Bar

Violations, in song form!

SchroCo was overhead saying that he can’t get the taste of “it” out of his mouth and that he was drinking to forget.  I agree, drinking is probably the only way you’re going to be able to forget that no one cares about what you think now that you’re not GM anymore.

Special Head Kid remarked that he prefers cold and dry over warm and wet.  Thanks to all those icy mud puddles on trail, my feet can now provide you a little of each.

This trail was fun, it felt like being back in high school with a group of friends, all working on a project together.  But it’s clear that the hares’ favorite class was choir… cuz it definitely wasn’t cartography.

Speaking of the hares, I have to say these wankers really fell down on the job… how are you going to have a song themed trail and a really dang famous song about sweeping and *still* manage not to have a sweeper on trail?

So the whole point of this trail was an excuse for the pack to go sing songs at Freddie’s for karaoke.  But if you’ve heard Atari 6900 on stage you know it’s more like kara-OH NO.

Blissfully for this frozen Scribe’s digits, there was no naming.  Everybody fucked off to the bar immediately and I went home to pet my demon spawn.

On – HOW DO…. GIF?! – on,

Stain Gretzky

Remember that bouncing ball you use to watch and learn to sing Disney songs to? No? Before your time – try Zenon…

Well, join your new Songmeister and his hash choir for this Sing-Along Trail! He promises to have new-ish songs for you to learn so be ready to grab your scrotum to hit those high notes!

Afterward, you get to take all that choir practice on the trail and put it to good use at karaoke!!!!

When: 6:45 PM Thursday, January 24th, 2019. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Pentagon Row Outdoor Ice Skating, 1201 S Joyce St, Arlington, VA 22202 (head to Champs)

Hares: Atari 6900, Rosetta Bone, R.O.B. Trickled Down Sexonomics, & Goldman Ballsach  

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to B, and will be a dog- & stroller-friendly pavement pounder. Pack smartly and bring a cranium lamp & mug!  Be smart, have fun.

How Far: Runners’ trail will be approximately 4.7 miles long (about 2.1 miles  first half and 2.6 miles second half). Walkers’ trail usually is approximately half the distance of the runners’ trail.

Last trains out of Pentagon City:

Fort Totten 11:10 PM

Franconia-Springfield 11:53 PM

Huntington 11:29 PM

Largo Town Center 11:19 PM

On After: Freddies

Specials: This Hash Hymnal is Special


For general questions on hashing, email us questions at [email protected]

For questions about trails or haring a trail, email harerazor at [email protected]





RA: Poon-Apple Juice

Scribe: Blow Me Closer Tiny Dancer

GMs: Throbbin Hood and BMCTD (probably one whole sober GM between us… rounding up)

Oh yes, another special-edition brunch naming! And also a sacrifice of a name to the Old Ones. Your unholy eldritch GMs find this offering worthy, and in the devouring of the lost name we have become stronger.
Allow me to introduce our victim, Cody. (Apparently some muggles call him Brodie, but Rosetta Bone saddled him with the sobriquet Just Cody of the BroFactory upon first meeting, and he will probably die with that name anyway, so here we are challenging fate by trying to call him anything else.)
For fun, Cody is a fake-ass drama queen, also known as an actor. As Wait Wait’s roomie, he practices by acting like he enjoys Wait Wait’s percussive stylings and romantic… cacophony. Those may not be mutually exclusive. It’s a fun household: sometimes a lady calls on a gentleman at home and she leaves her unmentionables in the washroom (I’m assuming this is how Wait Wait would describe the situation), and the next morning no one asks whose they are or who brought their owner home for a game of hide-the-knickers. On the plus side, the boys do get to enjoy drunken spooning, and that is some wholesome pureness, so good on them.


Cody reports that he’s currently a 2 on Kinsey scale. Yay MMM threesomes!
On a more serious note, the man cannot be trusted around strippers or fast food, and has been asked to leave establishments providing each. On the same night.

Footage from the night in question. Someone was screaming, “McNugget rain!” Three guesses on who.

Let’s just say that on an evening in New Orleans that involved 3 bars, a strip club, a burlesque club, and a McDonald’s… he was kicked out twice, but police were only involved once. And that was for his drunken theft of some hapless muggle’s poultry-morsels. I wish that were a euphemism, but no. He literally purloined the nugs of an innocent.
While there were other tales involving flying ass-first through glass tables and being peed on by a Czech hobo, the scribe is too lazy to relay it all. A variety of unwholesome epithets were volunteered, but the successful candidate was Battledick’s clever call-out to both unidentifiable undies and felonious fast food filching:The Cumburglar. Please congratulate Battledick on her first hash baby!

On “You can still call him Cumby” on,
BMCTD