EWH3# 752: The Hash of Theseus Trail Trash
When: 6:45 PM Thursday February 7, 2013. Pack away at 7:15ish.
Where: Francis Scott Key Park in Georgetown, either Foggy Bottom or Rosslyn (Both Blue/Orange Line), with a 15 min walk to Key Bridge!
Hares: 1 if By Man, 2 if by She, Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock, Choke and Gag Her, Just Josiah
On On On: Chadwick’s
3205 K Street NW
Washington, DC 20007
This amazing hash adventure began at the Georgetown end of the Francis Scott Key bridge.Plan B was parked at the edge of the park just close enough to throw your hashing bag into the open door from the park. Our glorious GM for the evening Collitoral Damage opened up the evening introducing our Virgins Mark, Dave, Alex,and Jenny. There was one visitor dumb enough to let his presence be known, Menstrating Minstrel from I dont remember nor do I care.
Transplant!!!! We have a new resident at EWH3, Pico De Gayo recently moved to the area cuming on us from the SMUTTy Crab H3 Which really isnt far, did this Hasher really move here or just run out of Harrietts to creep on down at SMUTTy?
1 if by Man, 2 if by She was our hare representative and explained the basics of how the hares planned to thoroughly F#!& over and disperse the pack into the hills of Georgetown. She then led us in a song about man who works in a button factory while the rest of the crowd demonstrated a polka dance done by a man with tourette syndrome, then the pack was off, scattering about the Georgetown neighborhood.
After a quick stop for beverages near everyone’s favorite grave yard the pack made its way to a special secret location not far from start. Daisychian began circle calling out the hares with Just David Copperfield handing out the violation beverages, we’ll call him Just David Copperfield because he just f*$%ing disappeared two minutes after start of circle without a trace. Thankfully the lovely, the talented and the experienced Cant find pussy in a Haystack was there to lend a hand and fill in the small hole left by the missing Copperfield.
The jubilee had several necklaces for wankers with 17 runs. Dr. TooLittle reached her 69th run with EWH3 and was awarded her EWH3 shorts. This crowd of perverts and degenerates love a free show, but were left chanting “One more layer, one more layer” for nearly an hour, because it seemed TooLittle was so unsure what to wear for the ocasion, that she decided to wear everything she owned. After finally peeling of a layer of chainmail and a full scuba suitToolittle put her shorts on over her postal workers uniform.
We then moved on to some great violations.
–Roof Rack was heard stating she has been avoiding EWH3 because she typically spends thursdays grooming her 100lb snatch. Lets hope it doesnt bite.
–Wax On Wax Off Was violated for committing a party foul over the weekend. Allegedly refilling a chip bag with the contents of his stomach.
–1 if by Man, 2 if by She was violated for leaving tit checks to actually be solved by the Harrietts on trail being that she was haring and is the only harrriet know to flash on trail.
–Horoscope violated for backsliding stating that she was busy with a “hard post” but now she doesnt have one so she will be back more often. keep an eye open for this one boys.
–Just Christy was violated for having gloves that said “Bunny F@%ker” this does not hide the fact that she is into kinky “Furry” sex.
–Collitoral Damage and S.&M.O.M. were part of a dual violation when at the first beverage check S.&M.O.M. put his hand in Collitoral Damage’s box all the way up to his elbow and she didnt even bat an eye. Its not known if this was due to his good technique or her previous experience.
Violations were then solicited from the crowd. Some jock made an attempt to talk trash about a super ball game bet and was quickly violated for talking about Foosball at a hash.Whiskey Business was violated for not knowing what Foosball was. Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock was violated for being identified by a muggle on trail as the “rapey” guy who ran by.
The solemn occasion of a naming then began. Just Josiah was the lucky degenerate to be stripped if his shirt and decency for the entertainment of the pack this evening. This fine young man attended a wonderful college in Michigan where received two degrees, one in Philosophy and one in Religion. A person could ague that they are both in philosophy. Now when you acquire two useless degrees you have to work twice as hard to pay the bills. So he does this by two means, his first line of income is unemployment. And his second is writing reviews for anal toys for a conservative religious online newspaper. Apparently there is a big market for butt-plugs shaped like a crucifix. Josiah told some interesting stories while on his knees. One of which sh#ting himself while mountain biking then being introduced to a girlfriends parent. And another about loosing his V-card in Jerusalem on a holy trip, we doubt she saw god on his first trip to the mound. The name suggestions started and the pack was in rare form with a barrage of above average names for Just Josiah the scribe noted every one with little to no error in their transcription during the process, but the only name found to be worth of this worthless hasher was Fudge Report. for which he will now be know by in the world of hashing except Great Falls F#%k them!!.
And Everyone was happy Thats all for now!
ON- Still Drunk From the Big Foosball Game -ON
Little Thunder Clap
EWH3 Scribe