How do you follow up a weekend of hashing in Ocean City Maryland? By hashing with EWH3 as soon as you can. The pack gathered on the back side of the south entrance to the Shaw metro. Our sketchy van Plan B pulled right up into the lot and the local security guards and Metro police began to circle our group as if letting us know how the night was going to proceed. Being the law abiding citizens(at the moment) they found no reason to bother us.
Our GM for the evening Colliteral Damage opened up the evening welcoming everyone and introducing almost a bakers dozen virgins. The justs were Tryler, Cha, Ben, Racchel, Jamie, Christina, Crystal, Anne, Adam, Eric, Adam, Keenan, and Andy sorry if I missed any but for god sake you kids need name tags. With no visitors our hare representative Kindergarten Cock told us how we would thoroughly be thwarted by the excessive amounts of police forces in the neighborhood, then lead us in a song and dance about a man in a button factory, the pack was then off.
The presence of security personal at the start foreshadowed many parts of the coming night, but if the hash is know for anything its for their ability to adapt and overcome when beverage consumption is involved. The first beverage stop was quickly disbanded by a school security officer just after the walkers showed up, having barely enough time to help runners finish their beverages, but the pack moved on quickly as more beverages were waiting at the end. As the pack made its way to the end the hares had discovered that the planned end location was already occupied by several of DCs finest. Quick thinking from mis-management they quickly scavenged a location for an end check and circle in a quiet residential area. This would be the first whisper hash circle I’ve been involved in and turned into one of the most fun.
Daisy Chain opened our circle with a preface that this would be a “quiet” circle as not to create a noise issue with the homes near by. At a roaring whisper the circle began by violating the hares. Then introducing our load of Virgins to the hash. Then of course my favorite…
–Put It Out and Cock Soup were violated when cock soup called PIO an old man to which PIO shoved cock soup down to his knees. What he made him do next to apologize after is purely up to your imagination, both had grins on their faces at circle so I assume the quarel worked itself out.
-Going gay with Person A was violated for suspicion of illicit activity prior to the hash, after she paid with a hundred dollar bill. She may or may not be selling crack or her body, lets hope its crack and she’ll just continue to give it up at the hash for free.
–Wife Guard was violated for wearing rainbow striped pants on trail and was later heard on trail telling a hasher he might have a chance to “taste the rainbow”
–Huevos Snatcheros was violated for asking another male hasher the day after a hash why his c*ck hurt. If you want to know why, ask Cum on my Buddy apparently he can explain.
–Pulp friction was violated after picking up a rusty coat hanger and saying he was going to start a “clinic”. Apparently this boy will do anything to get near a vagina, good luck my friend.
–Colliteral Damage was violated for improper use of a bull horn. When everyone else is told to be quiet its not a good time to set off your siren.
There were then a few violations form the crowd, and we then moved on to the solemn occasion of a naming!!! The lucky hasher who would get to spend half an hour on her knees whispering her life secrets for the entertainment of the pack was Just Annie. Just Annie has a job in IT and a degree from Duke university where she spent some time with the Duke lacrosse team. Main points that steered some crowd favorite names were the issue of constantly being walked in on when trying to loose her virginity with her first boyfriend, and another instance where at the apex of fellating same boyfriend his juice came out her nose(thats talent right there). There were a handful of honorable nominations such as Girl next whore, Missionary Impossible, Cunt-fession-hole and Father Nose Best, but there was only one worthy of this hasher. For now and always, through out the world of hashing except (you know who you are) F#ck them!! Just Annie will be known as Lock Cock and Two Smoking Nostrils.
And every one was happy! The pack diverted to Nellies as it was almost certain the cops would be waiting for us at DC9.
ON- You’ll never catch me alive, Copper!!! -ON
Little Thunder Clap