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EWH3 #782 – Adventures in Virginia

Where: Courthouse Metro

When: August 1, 2013

Hares Just Chase, Gaza Snip, Just Matt, Lock Cock, Deposit Slip
The pack circled up on a paved part of Virginia to meet our lovely virgins who joined us for the evening Justs: Lauren, Ashish, Barton, Randy, David, Tanya, Thomas, Josh, and John. We also were lucky enough to have a few visitors: S&M Man, Blowing in the Dark, Bad Sex, Freeze Frame, and Bolohead. Then Just Chase tentatively sung a song about Joe who worked in a Button Factory and the pack was off. Midrun through the hash the pack met up with our favorite creepy van Plan B for a beverage break. Thank you DADS and UNO! If the van is a rockin’ don’t come a knockin’.
The pack continued their adventure thorough the hills and dales of Virginia land only to meet up at a gorgeous historic parking garage with our favorite van (say it with me kids) Plan B again. Beverages were had and our lovely and talented RA Daisy Chain was our circle mistress for the night. The virgins were reintroduced and our visitors…. the illustrious visitors all earned their way out of our circle our favorite way (ooohhh yeah). Then we had violations: 
  • Virgin Just Cody ran the hash in flip flops (at least they weren’t new).
  • St. Paulie’s Girl yelled at the pack for short cutting the trail. He accused the pack of breaking one of the “19” rules of hashing. We are so sorry that SPG had to give up FRB status for two minutes – we are all *very* sad for you.
  • Virgin Hare Just Chase didn’t know the words of the, “Hi My Name is Joe,” song (tsk, tsk).
  • Mr. hEd won the first place flashing award for the hash and when she came up to claim her prize she flashed again (huzzah). Although she was worried her nipples were not hard enough – what do you all think……hard enough?
  • A commendation to Pinnocchi-HO for putting down extra t*t checks on trail.
  • The Hares are color blind…. strangely for the first mile the “red flour” was white. White Flour! Oh yeah we caught the hares too (it is called speed work kids).
  • Yule Log and Miss Me Gag Me were violated for sex on trail. We know you kids had to share a van with a bunch of sweaty runners but clean up after your selves next time. 😉
  • Daisy Chain was recreating some of the shenanigans of Campout by doing cartwheels on trail (and falling on bum). Remember what happens at Campout stays at Campout!
  • Just Dave in the green shorts was trying to win the hash – slow down boy – have a beverage.
  • Our lovely Fire Drill doesn’t like it when folks blow in her ear (I’m giving tips now).
  • Just Nick was uncomfortable with how much was deposited (back there). Don’t you just hate it when you get wet on all fours?
After some violations from the crowd and some new shoes (sorry sweetheart but if you are going to be hasher you have to be willing to get dirty) – we had a NAMING.
We brought our hare, Just Chase, into the circle and put him on his knees (just the way we like him). Just Chase is from Mechanicsville, VA; went to Virginia Tech; Majored in Chemical Engineering; and is a consultant. He knows the flaws in the rhythm method; once had sex in a Carnegie bathroom; has a thing for waxing; and is so pneumatic that he once flipped a mattress and the bedframe damaged the wall.  The pack has some good ideas: Sexponential Growth, Knock Knock Poke; and Aphrodisiac Wax. However, henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing (except those guys) Just Chase will be known as 3 Wax and I’m Done. 
Then everyone was happy and we danced and skipped to the On On On: First Down Sports Bar & Grill.
On-WhereDidIPutMyGlitter-On,
Glitty Clitty Gang Bang
EWH3 Scribe