Trail Trash for EWH3# 785: The Whitest Kids You Know Trail! 6:45 PM Thursday, August 22nd, 2013 – Southern Avenue Metro
When: 6:45 PM Thursday August 22, 2013.
Where: Southern Avenue Metro (GreenLine)
Hares: Chick’n Fuck’r, Miss Me Gag Me, St. Pauli’s Girl, Red Vag of Courage and Tragic Carpet Ride (walker’s)
On On On: The Player’s Lounge (formally known as Georgina’s)
Specials: Everyone who was there!
The daring pack circled up at the top of the southern ave parking garage. With no others daring enough to park a car there even in the daylight there was plenty of room for the brewcrewers Hungry Hungry Homo and Pinoci–Ho to find a spot for Plan-B. The GM for the evening Don’t Ask Don’t Smell started off by introducing the virgins to the pack, just Anthony, Tara, Michelle, Dave, Maureen, Caitlin, Fernando, Charlotte, Sam, Zach, Matt, and Josh. He then introduced the visitors Hair Cuntery, Freeze Frame, and Two Inches in Lady Boy. The hare representatives Red Vadge of Courage told the pack to to stay together and leave their wallets and IPhones in the bag van. Red Vadge then sang us a song about a man in a button factory and the pack was off.
The hares ran the pack through various parts of the Anacostia area stopping for a quick beer check on a secluded vacant lot. The pack continued on to find Plan-B again just behind the players lounge.
The RA for the night Daisy Chain circled up the pack began by violating the hares, reintroducing the virgins the visitors. Then it was time for violations!!
Violations were kicked off with a big thank you to all of our “Chaperones” for the evening. Thank you for keeping us safe in your home land.
–Dildo Shaggins was violated when a local said “slowdown snowflake” the man who said it is only assuming she actually is a snowflake because hes never seen one or a white person before.
–Mr hEd was violated for attempting to eat parking lot skittles, not surprisingly earlier in the week a five year old was the voice of reason convincing her eating glitter was a bad idea.
–Pee it Forward was violated for her French braid, with this crowd pig tails will get you farther.
–Roll Over Bitch was violated for not we had more than one black hasher, or knowing minorities have red blood too. He told just David he had blood on him, which turned out to be mud.
–Theres a Clap For That was violated referring to what Kindergarten Cock labeled smelling like “Poison Ivy and Vagina” he referred to as “delicious”. Sick dude….
–Aunt Vaginas Maple Syrup was violated for eating fish before the hash. Her new girlfriend had no complaints.
-Blow white was violated when her and Mr. hEd passed a creepy horror movie house. She told Mr. hEd that she would be fine but Mr. hEd would die first because they always kill the “Hot” ones last.
–Hells Anal was violated when she said “I only eat the vanilla if its double stuffed” given our location im sure you could find some chocolate if that’s your taste.
–Whiskey Business was violated for stepping on a nail. Typically its later in the night before he gets penetrated.
Some other good violations came from the crowd. Carmen Sandieg Ho was violated for giving up when she got engaged. Hair Cuntery for showing up late but his nose was still on time. Mr hEd for “picking up” kids(she claims she “works with children” sure creep….)
Then it was time for the most solemn occasion of a naming. The lucky hasher to put their knees in a puddle this week was just David. A little about Just David, he is from Marietta Georgia, attended Harvard law and is now a lawyer, claims to have flexible boundarie(he bisexual is what I think that means), once went to bed with a girl who turned out to be a squirter and accused her of having a leaky roof, like to take it stallion style, was once coming home from anthropology and shit in his ski pants, tried to skip condom wrappers on the beach in Puerto Rico, was accused of packing heat by a man with a tiny dog, likes to go on car rides with strange dudes when visiting the Bahamas, Prefers to take it in the ass than the mouth “because you can prove it”(really? WTF?). The pack had a handful of good names right from the start including Atticus Felch, In the Ass And I Can Prove It(his own words), CSI my Asshole, Turd Reform, Men In Back, and many others. But only one name was worthy of this hasher. Forever more and throughout the world of hashing except (you know who you are) Just David will be known as You Can’t Handle The Poop!!
And then the pack was Happy, Macho mugs were had and the pack made their way to The Playaz Lounge.
On – Marion Barry Where are you?!?! -On
EWH3 Scribe
Little Thunder Clap