Where: Cleveland Park Metro (Red line)

Hares: BackSnatch, PutItOut, TuckTuckDeuce, WaxOnWhacksOff

On After: Cleveland Park Bar & Grill

It’s the dog days of summer, so this week we are keeping it simple. (Just like the rules of the beer mile.) We explored the hills and valleys and avenues west of the Rock Creek and people did some stupid stuff, including:

• The hares — since they doubled the age of the hash tonight, they have to pay for anyone’s with daddy issues therapy bills this week
• There’s A Clap For That — to our surprise did not stop on trail to hang out with the teenagers in the woods
• La Gingeracha — who upon hearing a firetruck, did what they taught in elementary school: stop, drop, and roll across Connecticut Avenue
• The Lying, the Bitch, and the Whoredrobe and Rosetta Bone — discovered the claws and condoms don’t mix with you have a threesome with a crab. Congrats on all the little crustaceans!
• RPI — in considering how to celebrate #369, he realized he just doesn’t like cold tacos, unless it’s 3 AM and then anything goes.

And we held a very solemn occasion for Just Lauren. It was fitting that her brother joined us because he was surely dying to hear about the time she was hooking up with a guy only to have his brother — who she also hooked up with — walk in on them. But the crowd wanted to know more and more about the New York Giant she slept with. Was he linebacker like Dick Butt-Kiss? All in all, we still couldn’t get over connecting the dots of familial relations, so please welcome Six Degrees of Penetration.

On — ready, set, hike — On,

Mambo # Hives