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When: October 8, 2015

Where: pretty much everywhere but (a.k.a. Federal Center SW for ballbuster and Gallery place for regular)

Hares:

  • BALLBUSTER: Sorest Rump, All Flash No Drive, Bumspringa, Wookin Pa Nub, Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock
  • REGULAR: Mouthful of Clam, Stain Gretzky, Moose Knuckles, More Men, Slothy Seconds, You Sucked My Battledick

Virgins: Justs Bree, Elizabeth, Josh, Nick, Preston, Ross and Santiago

Visitors: Everyone who is running for Speaker of the House

On After: Gordon Biersch

With colder days and longer nights setting in, your Netflix queue is growing to match. While CBS may be doing a Red Dress Run storyline later this year, what you didn’t know is that your favorite streaming services are actually creating more special episodes and new series inspired by stupid things you may have done:

  • Botched — Drs. Nassif and Dubrow travel to DC to help St. Pauli’s Girl who had a lot of very nice things to say about trail, but his balls were so busted they became a big, sandy vagina.
  • VicePinocchi-Ho explores the European refugee crisis while looking for a mail order bride.
  • Cool Pope (coming later this fall) — Slut Machine wears short shorts on a Catholic high school campus (a former dress code violation) to teach kids what things were like before Cool Pope.
  • Grumpy Old Men (coming in January) — inspired by the hit movie, General’s Farm Animal attempts to help Trim Shady carry her bike down some stairs, but it turns out that chivalry isn’t dead, it’s just old and drunk.
  • Alrighteous (coming in Spring 2016) — She leans left, he curves to the right. But will Moose Knuckles do the right thing when he brings More Men two shoes belonging to the same foot?
  • Diary of Era (Coming in your pants) — In a special two part episode, Hand Franks shows up. Apparently he was in hiding. Then Shits Fired get complimented on his facial hair by a homeless gentleman. Apparently he’s in a particularly aspirational state of unkemptness.

And we held a pitch session for Just Emily, an oceanographer with Jaws-like tendencies. Not only did she once bite off a chunk of her sister’s arm, she plays rugby and once teased someone into an eating disorder. The network is already printing up t-shirts with her catchphrase: If You Weren’t So Fat You’d Understand.

On — hooray for Hollywood — on,

Mambo # Hives