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Wetness is a good thing #786

Where: Courthouse

When: August 29, 2013 – 6:45 pm 

Hares: Daisy Chain, A-Salt My Ass, Zero Shart Thirty, Big Head Little Cock and Aunt Vagina’s Maple Syrup

We circled up in the wild paved streets of Virginia ready for our big wet hash. We had virgins a plenty Justs: Audrey, Parker, Jess, Mike, Kate, Albert, Liz    x2, Katie, Geoff, Susannah, Colette, Natalie, Erin    x2, Dan, James, and Alison. We had some shy visitors: Freeze Frame, Jewgar, and Chupa Mi Coneho. Where were you guys when we called for you at circle. Seriously you all didn’t fall off the hashing truck yesterday – you owe us some body parts! 

The pack sang a song about Joe and was off to search for checks in the shape of circle and those elusive hash marks. We ran, had a beverage check in a creek, ran through a wet tunnel, and eventually found our way to a dark corner of Virginia for end circle and beverage drinkage.

Thank you Red Vag of Courage and Yeast Infection for taking the night off for the pack – we appreciate you. Cock-a-Doodle-Do Me was the lovely religious advisor for the evening. We met our virgins again (almost devirginized). The lovely Bless Me Father for I have Rimmed did her Jubilee thing. Then we got to violations:

  • Virgin Just Jeff wore a Color Run shirt to hash and of course we violated him for being racist. We also violated him for being racist.
  • Zero Shart Thirty was finally violated for his new shoes. A-Salt My Ass you know better than that!
  • Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock got in some extra tri-training by practicing his swimming during beer check. Wait should that have been a racist violation?
  • The lovely hare, Daisy Chain is a favorite of all donkeys. I hear donkey shows are the thing to do down in Mexico!
  • Mr. hEd waited until after trail to show everyone her pussy (pants). Meow!
  • The lovely GMs DADs and C-Damage led the walkers 1 mile off trail.
  • A-Salt My Ass didn’t know one of his fellow hares names (seriously).

After some violations from the crowd came a very special occasion – A NAMING. The lucky Just was Just Pedro. He went to the College of New Jersey, would like to have sex with Marge Simpson and once banged a 40 year old woman (high five Pedro). Just Pedro lost his virginity in the Ukraine; had sex in a Puerto Rican rain forest; but he also has a problem with ladies that get too wet downstairs (serious – you knew the theme of the trail when you showed up). The pack had some good ideas: Poison Arrow Load, Jungle Beaver, Putin the Butt, Old Faithful, and Party in the West Pussy. However, henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing (except those guys) Just Pedro will be known as Viagra Falls! Buy your hash Mommy, Daisy Chain, a drink next week.

Everyone was happy and we hopped and skipped our way to Four Courts for the On-After.

On-TheTrailWasntThatWet-On,

Glitty Clitty Gang Bang

EWH3 Scribe

EWH3 #782 – Adventures in Virginia

Where: Courthouse Metro

When: August 1, 2013

Hares Just Chase, Gaza Snip, Just Matt, Lock Cock, Deposit Slip
The pack circled up on a paved part of Virginia to meet our lovely virgins who joined us for the evening Justs: Lauren, Ashish, Barton, Randy, David, Tanya, Thomas, Josh, and John. We also were lucky enough to have a few visitors: S&M Man, Blowing in the Dark, Bad Sex, Freeze Frame, and Bolohead. Then Just Chase tentatively sung a song about Joe who worked in a Button Factory and the pack was off. Midrun through the hash the pack met up with our favorite creepy van Plan B for a beverage break. Thank you DADS and UNO! If the van is a rockin’ don’t come a knockin’.
The pack continued their adventure thorough the hills and dales of Virginia land only to meet up at a gorgeous historic parking garage with our favorite van (say it with me kids) Plan B again. Beverages were had and our lovely and talented RA Daisy Chain was our circle mistress for the night. The virgins were reintroduced and our visitors…. the illustrious visitors all earned their way out of our circle our favorite way (ooohhh yeah). Then we had violations: 
  • Virgin Just Cody ran the hash in flip flops (at least they weren’t new).
  • St. Paulie’s Girl yelled at the pack for short cutting the trail. He accused the pack of breaking one of the “19” rules of hashing. We are so sorry that SPG had to give up FRB status for two minutes – we are all *very* sad for you.
  • Virgin Hare Just Chase didn’t know the words of the, “Hi My Name is Joe,” song (tsk, tsk).
  • Mr. hEd won the first place flashing award for the hash and when she came up to claim her prize she flashed again (huzzah). Although she was worried her nipples were not hard enough – what do you all think……hard enough?
  • A commendation to Pinnocchi-HO for putting down extra t*t checks on trail.
  • The Hares are color blind…. strangely for the first mile the “red flour” was white. White Flour! Oh yeah we caught the hares too (it is called speed work kids).
  • Yule Log and Miss Me Gag Me were violated for sex on trail. We know you kids had to share a van with a bunch of sweaty runners but clean up after your selves next time. 😉
  • Daisy Chain was recreating some of the shenanigans of Campout by doing cartwheels on trail (and falling on bum). Remember what happens at Campout stays at Campout!
  • Just Dave in the green shorts was trying to win the hash – slow down boy – have a beverage.
  • Our lovely Fire Drill doesn’t like it when folks blow in her ear (I’m giving tips now).
  • Just Nick was uncomfortable with how much was deposited (back there). Don’t you just hate it when you get wet on all fours?
After some violations from the crowd and some new shoes (sorry sweetheart but if you are going to be hasher you have to be willing to get dirty) – we had a NAMING.
We brought our hare, Just Chase, into the circle and put him on his knees (just the way we like him). Just Chase is from Mechanicsville, VA; went to Virginia Tech; Majored in Chemical Engineering; and is a consultant. He knows the flaws in the rhythm method; once had sex in a Carnegie bathroom; has a thing for waxing; and is so pneumatic that he once flipped a mattress and the bedframe damaged the wall.  The pack has some good ideas: Sexponential Growth, Knock Knock Poke; and Aphrodisiac Wax. However, henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing (except those guys) Just Chase will be known as 3 Wax and I’m Done. 
Then everyone was happy and we danced and skipped to the On On On: First Down Sports Bar & Grill.
On-WhereDidIPutMyGlitter-On,
Glitty Clitty Gang Bang
EWH3 Scribe