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Hash Trash – Mad Lib Style: EWH3# 768: The This is Why We Don’t Have Nice Things Trail

When: April 25, 2013-

Where: Georgia Ave/Petworth

Actual Hares: Cock Soup, Whiskey Business, Fart of Darkness, Multiple Mystery Hares

***Stunt MM: A special thank you to You Sucked My Battledick for Hash Cashing and 6 Pigs in a Blanket for scribing.***

So…. I wasn’t actually at this trail so you all are getting a MAD LIBS HASH TRASH (you’re welcome).

Directions: Fill-out the Mad Libs key of words below before reading the hash story (below). Then fill in your words in the appropriate place for maximum hilariousness.

Mad Libs Key:

1. LOCATION IN DC:

2. NAME OF HASHER:

3. ADJECTIVE:

4. NAME OF HASHER:

5. VECHICLE:

6. WILD ANIMAL:

7. FRIGID NON-HASHER:

8. OLD DUDE WHO LIKES TO DRINK:

9. NAME OF TENATIVE COWORKER:

10. A CORRUPT CITY COUNCIL MAN:

11. ANNOYING POP STAR:

12. SEXY PORN STAR:

13. POLITICIAN:

14. ADJECTIVE:

15. BODY PART:

16. ANNOYING POP SONG:

17. NAME OF HASHER:

18. NAME OF HASHER:

19. NOUN:

20. NAME OF HASHER:

21. NOUN:

22. BODY OF WATER:

23. VERB:

24. BODY OF WATER:

25. TYPE OF LIQUID:

26. BEVERAGE:

27. SAME LIQUID AS #25:

28. FEMALE BODY PART:

29. FEMALE HASHERS:

30. ADJECTIVE:

31. ADJECTIVE:

32. ADJECTIVE:

33. BEVERAGE PURAL:

34. BREW CREW MEMBER:

35. BREW CREW MEMBER:

36. SILLY SONG:

37. ANNOYING SONG:

38. MOST TERRIBLE SONG EVER:

39. TYPE OF VECHILE PLURAL:

40. SEXY PORN STAR – SAME AS #12:

41. BODY PART:

42. POLITICAN – SAME AS #13:

43. BODY PART:

44. NAME OF HASHER:

45. NAME OF HASHER:

46. VERB ending in ING:

47. VERB ending in ING:

48. NAME OF VIRGIN:

49. NAME OF HASHER:

50. NAME OF HASHER:

51. NAME OF VIRGIN:

52. ADJECTIVE:

53. SAME VIRGIN as #51:

54. LIQUID:

55. NAME OF HASHER:

56. PURAL NOUN:

57. ADJECTIVE:

58. VERB:

59: ADJECTIVE:

60: VERB:

61: NAME OF JUST WITH 5-25 RUNS:

62: SCHOOL:

63: DISNEY CHARACTER:

64: ADJECTIVE:

65: NUMBER:

66: SAME JUST as #61:

67: ODD LOCATION:

68: ANIMAL:

69: SAME JUST as #61, #66:

70: VERB ENDING IN ING:

71: BODY PART:

72: ADVERB:

73: ADJECTIVE:

74: ANIMAL:

75: ADJECTIVE:

76: NONSENSE WORD:

77: NAUGHTY WORD:

78: EXCLAIMATION:

79: EMOTION:

80: HASHER:

81: HASHER:

82: HASHER:

83: HASHER:

84: HASHER:

85: FEMALE HASHER:

86: MALE HASHER:

87: ADJECTIVE:

88: FUNNY WORD:

 

The Pack Circled up at (1-LOCATION IN DC). (2-NAME OF HASHER) was wearing (3-ADJECTIVE) booty shorts and (4-NAME OF HASHER) was already blackout. The (5-VEHICLE) was stuck in traffic and the pack was restless. A (6-WILD ANIMAL) ran across opening circle. There were so many virgins Justs: (7-NAME OF FRIGID NON-HASHER, 8-NAME OF OLD NON-HASHER DUDE THAT LIKES TO DRINK, 9-NAME A TENATIVE COWORKER, 10-A CORRUPT CITY COUNCIL MAN, and an 11-ANNOYING POP STAR).

We had two visitors (12-NAME OF SEXY PORN STAR) and (13-POLITICIAN). I hope we get to see her/his (14-ADJECTIVE) (15-BODY PART) later and not hear (16-ANNOYING POP SONG) sung.

(17-NAME OF HASHER) had to be put in a cab before trail because the pregame was just too much for him/her.

The pack was off! The Hares laid a Sh*tty trail. (18-NAME OF HASHER) was almost hit by a (19-NOUN); and (20-NAME OF HASHER) was almost hit by a (21-NOUN). Along the way the pack leaped over a (22-BODY OF WATER) and (23-VERB) the (24-BODY OF WATER). There was a surprise shot of (25-LIQUID) and a bonus (26-BEVERAGE). A few lucky few got to do body shots of (27-SAME LIQUID) off of (28-FEMALE BODY PART) of (29-NAME OF FEMALE HASHER).

And finally the (30-ADJECTIVE), (31-ADJECTIVE) and (32-ADJECTIVE) trail was over. The (33-BEVERAGE PLURAL) were poured by (34-NAME OF BREW CREW MEMBER) and (35-NAME OF BREW CREW MEMBER) and the pack circled up to sing (36-SILLY SONG), (37-ANNOYING SONG), and (38-MOST TERRIBLE SONG EVER). Several times that pack made a hole for (39-TYPE OF VECHICLE PLURAL).

Visitors: (40-NAME OF SEXY PORN STAR) showed us her/his (41-BODY PART) and (42-POLITICIAN) showed us his (43-BODY PART).

Violations:

  • (44-NAME OF HASHER) and (45-NAME OF HASHER) had (46-VERB “ing”) on trail.
  • Cock Soup was violated for (47-VERB ENDING IN ING) Whiskey Business on trail.
  • (48-NAME OF VIRGIN) ran out into traffic only narrowly avoiding certain death.
  • (49-NAME OF HASHER, 50-NAME OF HASHER), and St. Pauli’s Girl were violated for being racist (SPG you know better).
  • (51-NAME OF VIRGIN) was violated for wearing (52-ADJECTIVE) shoes on trail. Both (53-SAME VIRGIN) and Tongue Punch My Fart Box (who brought her/him) had to drink (54-TYPE OF LIQUID) out of his/her shoes.
  • (55-NAME OF HASHER) was violated for leaving his (56-PURAL NOUN) in Plan B.
  • The Hares were violated for (57-ADJECTIVE) (58-VERB) and (59-ADJECTIVE) (60-VERB).

And then there was a very special occasion – a naming. (61-NAME OF JUST WITH 5-25 RUNS) went to (62-SCHOOL), loves (63-DISNEY CHARACTER), (64-ADJECTIVE) blow jobs, and lost her/his virginity when he/she was (65-NUMBER). (66-SAME JUST) once had sex in a (67-ODD LOCATION) in front of a/an (68-ANIMAL) and (69-SAME JUST) secretly loves (70-VERB ENDING IN ING) with his/her (71-BODY PART) (72-ADVERB). We had a lot of good name options (73-ADJECTIVE) Box Muncher, (74-ANIMAL) F*cker, and (75-ADJECTIVE)(76-NONSENSE WORD). The pack finally settled on (77-NAUGHTY WORD)(78-EXCLAMATION) Monster.

Everyone was (79-EMOTION) and the pack was off to the WONDERLAND BALLROOM. (80-NAME OF HASHER) got laid. (81-NAME OF HASHER), (82-NAME OF HASHER) and (83-NAME OF HASHER) almost had a threesome. (84-NAME OF HASHER) tore a hamstring while doing the funky chicken and (85-NAME OF FEMALE HASHER) drank (86-NAME OF MALE HASHER) under the table.

ON-(87-ADJECTIVE)(88-FUNNY WORD)-On,

Glitty Clitty Gang Bang

EWH3 Scribe

PS. If you need any help with this Mad Libs call me because I am *REALLY GOOD* at Mad Libs!