Hash Trash – Mad Lib Style: EWH3# 768: The This is Why We Don’t Have Nice Things Trail
When: April 25, 2013-
Where: Georgia Ave/Petworth
Actual Hares: Cock Soup, Whiskey Business, Fart of Darkness, Multiple Mystery Hares
***Stunt MM: A special thank you to You Sucked My Battledick for Hash Cashing and 6 Pigs in a Blanket for scribing.***
So…. I wasn’t actually at this trail so you all are getting a MAD LIBS HASH TRASH (you’re welcome).
Directions: Fill-out the Mad Libs key of words below before reading the hash story (below). Then fill in your words in the appropriate place for maximum hilariousness.
Mad Libs Key:
1. LOCATION IN DC:
2. NAME OF HASHER:
3. ADJECTIVE:
4. NAME OF HASHER:
5. VECHICLE:
6. WILD ANIMAL:
7. FRIGID NON-HASHER:
8. OLD DUDE WHO LIKES TO DRINK:
9. NAME OF TENATIVE COWORKER:
10. A CORRUPT CITY COUNCIL MAN:
11. ANNOYING POP STAR:
12. SEXY PORN STAR:
13. POLITICIAN:
14. ADJECTIVE:
15. BODY PART:
16. ANNOYING POP SONG:
17. NAME OF HASHER:
18. NAME OF HASHER:
19. NOUN:
20. NAME OF HASHER:
21. NOUN:
22. BODY OF WATER:
23. VERB:
24. BODY OF WATER:
25. TYPE OF LIQUID:
26. BEVERAGE:
27. SAME LIQUID AS #25:
28. FEMALE BODY PART:
29. FEMALE HASHERS:
30. ADJECTIVE:
31. ADJECTIVE:
32. ADJECTIVE:
33. BEVERAGE PURAL:
34. BREW CREW MEMBER:
35. BREW CREW MEMBER:
36. SILLY SONG:
37. ANNOYING SONG:
38. MOST TERRIBLE SONG EVER:
39. TYPE OF VECHILE PLURAL:
40. SEXY PORN STAR – SAME AS #12:
41. BODY PART:
42. POLITICAN – SAME AS #13:
43. BODY PART:
44. NAME OF HASHER:
45. NAME OF HASHER:
46. VERB ending in ING:
47. VERB ending in ING:
48. NAME OF VIRGIN:
49. NAME OF HASHER:
50. NAME OF HASHER:
51. NAME OF VIRGIN:
52. ADJECTIVE:
53. SAME VIRGIN as #51:
54. LIQUID:
55. NAME OF HASHER:
56. PURAL NOUN:
57. ADJECTIVE:
58. VERB:
59: ADJECTIVE:
60: VERB:
61: NAME OF JUST WITH 5-25 RUNS:
62: SCHOOL:
63: DISNEY CHARACTER:
64: ADJECTIVE:
65: NUMBER:
66: SAME JUST as #61:
67: ODD LOCATION:
68: ANIMAL:
69: SAME JUST as #61, #66:
70: VERB ENDING IN ING:
71: BODY PART:
72: ADVERB:
73: ADJECTIVE:
74: ANIMAL:
75: ADJECTIVE:
76: NONSENSE WORD:
77: NAUGHTY WORD:
78: EXCLAIMATION:
79: EMOTION:
80: HASHER:
81: HASHER:
82: HASHER:
83: HASHER:
84: HASHER:
85: FEMALE HASHER:
86: MALE HASHER:
87: ADJECTIVE:
88: FUNNY WORD:
The Pack Circled up at (1-LOCATION IN DC). (2-NAME OF HASHER) was wearing (3-ADJECTIVE) booty shorts and (4-NAME OF HASHER) was already blackout. The (5-VEHICLE) was stuck in traffic and the pack was restless. A (6-WILD ANIMAL) ran across opening circle. There were so many virgins Justs: (7-NAME OF FRIGID NON-HASHER, 8-NAME OF OLD NON-HASHER DUDE THAT LIKES TO DRINK, 9-NAME A TENATIVE COWORKER, 10-A CORRUPT CITY COUNCIL MAN, and an 11-ANNOYING POP STAR).
We had two visitors (12-NAME OF SEXY PORN STAR) and (13-POLITICIAN). I hope we get to see her/his (14-ADJECTIVE) (15-BODY PART) later and not hear (16-ANNOYING POP SONG) sung.
(17-NAME OF HASHER) had to be put in a cab before trail because the pregame was just too much for him/her.
The pack was off! The Hares laid a Sh*tty trail. (18-NAME OF HASHER) was almost hit by a (19-NOUN); and (20-NAME OF HASHER) was almost hit by a (21-NOUN). Along the way the pack leaped over a (22-BODY OF WATER) and (23-VERB) the (24-BODY OF WATER). There was a surprise shot of (25-LIQUID) and a bonus (26-BEVERAGE). A few lucky few got to do body shots of (27-SAME LIQUID) off of (28-FEMALE BODY PART) of (29-NAME OF FEMALE HASHER).
And finally the (30-ADJECTIVE), (31-ADJECTIVE) and (32-ADJECTIVE) trail was over. The (33-BEVERAGE PLURAL) were poured by (34-NAME OF BREW CREW MEMBER) and (35-NAME OF BREW CREW MEMBER) and the pack circled up to sing (36-SILLY SONG), (37-ANNOYING SONG), and (38-MOST TERRIBLE SONG EVER). Several times that pack made a hole for (39-TYPE OF VECHICLE PLURAL).
Visitors: (40-NAME OF SEXY PORN STAR) showed us her/his (41-BODY PART) and (42-POLITICIAN) showed us his (43-BODY PART).
Violations:
- (44-NAME OF HASHER) and (45-NAME OF HASHER) had (46-VERB “ing”) on trail.
- Cock Soup was violated for (47-VERB ENDING IN ING) Whiskey Business on trail.
- (48-NAME OF VIRGIN) ran out into traffic only narrowly avoiding certain death.
- (49-NAME OF HASHER, 50-NAME OF HASHER), and St. Pauli’s Girl were violated for being racist (SPG you know better).
- (51-NAME OF VIRGIN) was violated for wearing (52-ADJECTIVE) shoes on trail. Both (53-SAME VIRGIN) and Tongue Punch My Fart Box (who brought her/him) had to drink (54-TYPE OF LIQUID) out of his/her shoes.
- (55-NAME OF HASHER) was violated for leaving his (56-PURAL NOUN) in Plan B.
- The Hares were violated for (57-ADJECTIVE) (58-VERB) and (59-ADJECTIVE) (60-VERB).
And then there was a very special occasion – a naming. (61-NAME OF JUST WITH 5-25 RUNS) went to (62-SCHOOL), loves (63-DISNEY CHARACTER), (64-ADJECTIVE) blow jobs, and lost her/his virginity when he/she was (65-NUMBER). (66-SAME JUST) once had sex in a (67-ODD LOCATION) in front of a/an (68-ANIMAL) and (69-SAME JUST) secretly loves (70-VERB ENDING IN ING) with his/her (71-BODY PART) (72-ADVERB). We had a lot of good name options (73-ADJECTIVE) Box Muncher, (74-ANIMAL) F*cker, and (75-ADJECTIVE)(76-NONSENSE WORD). The pack finally settled on (77-NAUGHTY WORD)(78-EXCLAMATION) Monster.
Everyone was (79-EMOTION) and the pack was off to the WONDERLAND BALLROOM. (80-NAME OF HASHER) got laid. (81-NAME OF HASHER), (82-NAME OF HASHER) and (83-NAME OF HASHER) almost had a threesome. (84-NAME OF HASHER) tore a hamstring while doing the funky chicken and (85-NAME OF FEMALE HASHER) drank (86-NAME OF MALE HASHER) under the table.
ON-(87-ADJECTIVE)(88-FUNNY WORD)-On,
Glitty Clitty Gang Bang
EWH3 Scribe
PS. If you need any help with this Mad Libs call me because I am *REALLY GOOD* at Mad Libs!