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When: May 2, 2013

Where: Pentagon City Metro

Awesome Hares: Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack, Please Step Away from the Whores, Don’t Ask Don’t Smell, Uno Dos tres LIFTOFF, Kandy Panties and maybe some mystery hares busy 69ing each other…

EWH3 turned 769 this week, and this drunken entity is not the only thing celebrating a birthday – cheers to Haystack’s, PSA’s, Mr. hEd’s, Uno, Trim Shady, Tend Her Loins, and a metric sh*t ton of others’ hashy Birthdays!

Trail #769 had a ton of Virgins on trail Justs: Josh, Jeff, Eric, Zack, Rachel, Ashley, Mark and Jacob were kind enough to join us. Transplant G.I. Hoe: Real American Zero is joining us for realsies – welcome and Dos Hixxies was visiting from Kansas – Howdy.

It was a hot sticky night for hashing. We made a circle (circles are round); Sang about Joe; and were off to enjoy the trail. Haystack and his merry gang of hares were kind enough to provide the pack with shots SEVEN SHOTS on trail. He worked hard to make as many 69s happen at the end of the night (cum-on it is almost funny).

The pack was rowdy…eh drunk and we had Violations:

  • Tragic Carpet Ride showed up in my dreams (now that is scary);
  • Haystack marked trail with his own piss (just cause it is your Birthday doesn’t mean you can forgo the use of flour);
  • Whiskey Business and his manorexic diet (too many calories in the shots);
  • Dr. Toolittle for frightening the uncut dogs (let them live the dream for a bit);
  • Pebbles 4 Pussy threw dingleberries at Grinding Nemo;
  • Red, White and Poo is excited for the new Washington Monument condom (bigger is not always better sweetheart);
  • Mr. hEd for stealing Joseph’s Technicolor dream coat and wearing it to hash;
  • Just Greg for being afraid to lose his virginity;
  • Twinkle Twinkle little Cock wants to pound all the black men underneath the 14th Street Bridge;
  • Osama Bin Hashing for showing up to hash not-nekkid; and
  • You Sucked My Battle Dick got lost on trail and she had a map (silly hare).

Then for those of few hashers that were still sober we had a very very special occasion – A NAMING. Just Karen is a tax attorney, went to Wellsley and Yale for law school, and once had sex with a Muslim (and the parents walked in – awkward). Speaking of getting caught Just Karen was once caught masturbating by a neighbor and thinks Sheldon Cooper and Edward Norton are hot. There were some good naming options: Panty-less in Seattle; Princess of Hersia; Panty Poppins; and Star Cock Radio. However the pack settled on…… henceforth and forever more throughout the world of hashing (except those guys) Just Karen will be known as Infadellatio.

Everybody was happy and we headed off to Freddie’s Beach Bar to karaoke like champs and outlandish the landish.

On-myheadisstillfuzzy-On,

Glitty Clitty Gang Bang
EWH3 Scribe