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EWH3# 776: The Midsummer Night’s Hash Trail! (Tour duh hash) 

When: June 20 – 6:45 PM Thursday June 20, 2013. Pack away at 715 pm on the dot (thanks Cum Dumpling)
Where: Francis Scott Key Park
Sexy HaresFireDrill, HellsAnal, JewBaca, PlanetOfTheRapes, PutItOut, StickyRice & TonguePunchMyFartBox
The fairies, woodland creatures, and people in glitter circled up in Francis Scott Key Park spilling into the pristine streets of Georgetown. Plan B got filled to her brim and the late cummers had to carry their bags and sign in later. Cum Dumpling corralled the half minds; dirty t-shirts were passed out; a million virgins and new to EWH3 Justs were introduced: (Jeremy, Katherine x2, Anna, Andrea x2, Kim, Lauren, Kirsten, Jeff x2, Elijah, Christina, Margaret, Catherine, Stacy, Alison, Allison, Ashley, Veronica, Gina, Anthony, Ben, Tim, Brian, Nichole, Laura, Joan, Bakari, Jared and Robb); a song about Joe was sung (hi Joe); and the pack left on time (weird right?).
The hares laid a fun trail over hill and dale. They used their magic wands to hide the giant 200 + pack in plain sight during two beer checks and a lovely shot check (for the half of the pack that didn’t zen to the end). Wax On Whacks Off saved the late cummers from having to carry their bags the entire way by stashing extra bags in his vehicle – thanks WoWo!
Uno, Dos, Tres, Liftoff and Can’t Find Pussy in a Haystack were the beer heros for the night and the Master’s of Plan B. You all poured a record breaking amount of beverage that night and we appreciate you all!
The pack was rowdy but WoWo, Daisy Chain, Whiskey Business and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Cock were the rag tag tumble team of RAs that evening. Some of the violations of the night included:
  • Virgin Just Andrea not only wore a race shirt to trail (racist) she also wore new shoes. Too bad you could run away before we could find you. Come back with your new shoes so we can violation you again (and again).
  • 1001 Arabian Dykes won the Frogger award that evening for almost getting run over by a car.
  • Planet of the Rapes dressed as an angel for trail. Try as he might he cannot escape his name (Rape anyone?).
  • Cum on my Buddy made it back from Turkey safely (hurrah) but did violate himself by telling a story about projectile vomiting in the bathtub (gross).
  • Cum Dumpling went down on Mr. hEd’s baby hedgehog. You should wait until it is of age!
  • Choke and Gag Her showed off his love scratches he received from Ear Muffs on trail (acceptable hash behavior).
  • The lovely hare, Hell’s Anal, didn’t think that anyone would want to see her ass. Seriously, what was she drinking?!!?
  • Dr. Toolittle looked suspiciously guilty as the trail was described as short, flat and dry.
  • Wank Like An Egyptian was offering sex in exchange for a place to crash (acceptable hash behavior).
Then we got to a very special occasion – a naming! The pack was sufficiently sloshed by this point so we were gearing up for a fun one. Just Sam loves doggie style; the little Mermaid (who doesn’t), went to Ohio state, and is a chemical engineer. Just Sam once gave a blowjob while her boyfriend was blackout drunk…. and the problem was he woke up and came all over (the problem is???). Just Sam really likes it in the family as she experienced oral sex for the first time with her Daddy (apparently dad is a heavy sleeper) in the room and once got caught masturbating by her sister (tsk, tsk). The pack really zeroed in on the family action and had some good naming ideas: All in the Family, Daddy’s Little Oral, Family Shatters, and Breaking Daddy Even. Just Sam then shared an epic sh*t story. In high school when she ran cross country she once sh*t her pants on a muddy trail. She threw her messy underpants over a hill and tried to claim it was all mud. But when Mom picked her up she had none of it and hosed her down before allowing her in the house. The brought up several more fun naming options: It Gets the Hose Again, Mamas and Poopas, Sh*t Fockers, and Pompoo. However at this point the pack was too drunk for logic and went back to the engineering angle so henceforth and forevermore Just Sam will be known as Lithium? I Barium Knowium.
Everyone was happy the pack fluttered off to the Tombs.
On-YouHaveGlitterWhere-On,
Glitty Clitty Gang Bang
EWH3 Scribe