Tag Archive for: Rosslyn

When: August 13, 2015

Where: Rosslyn (Blue, Orange, Silver lines)

Hares: Uno, Dos, Tres, LIFTOFF!; Mellow Foreskin Cheese; Cum Dumpling; Coxxx on Demand; and a mystery hare

On After: Continental Pool Lounge

The U.S. was famously built upon the tenants of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, while D.C. was infamously built on top of a swamp. This week, we went the infamous route (naturally) and continued our tour of local marshes, waterways and shiggy.

Members of our pack found out they could have a second career as B-movie monsters: be it our virgins — Justs Adam, Christine, Emily, Garrett, Kristi, Mariana, and Mark — starring as Creature from the Black Lagoon — or our visitors — Condom Style, Dances With Balls and Lips — starring as Swamp Thing.

But just like every week, some folks found themselves simply listed as the extra in the credits as “Stupid Person 1” —

  • Shamrock Your Cock had pandas on her knees and is on her knees for Tony Panda.
  • Blow Ray Me and Just Adam were seen throwing balls of seaweed on trail but there is much better way to enjoy sushi.
  • Vladimir Fruitin smacked Penis Fly Trap‘s ass and got a mud facial.
  • Camo Sutra loves shiggy so much it makes her cum
  • We thought Uno, Dos, Tres, LIFTOFF! learned to hash in Korea not Vietnam
  • The hares for giving this Millennial- and Gen Y-heavy crowd all ‘Nam flashbacks.

And finally we got to know more about the survivor of this shiggy-filled horror film: Just Tim. He is a smarty pants computer engineer who went to the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute but spends much of his time at the theater among fellow techies and thespians. While he may collect esoteric Unix machines, his stories veered to the (not so) erotic. Blow jobs are always good in his opinion and his most theatrical sexual experience involved props in the fly loft. But we cannot forget that one time he lost a vibrator inside a woman’s vagina. Was it ever retrieved? No clue, but we do know that his name is now Knocking on Heaven’s Whore.
On — turtle sex turns me — On,

~ Mambo # Hives

Where: Rosslyn Metro (Blue, Orange and Silver lines)

Hares: Bumspringa, Milk Money, Survival of the Spittest, Wookin Pa Nub, You Only Cum Once

On After: Continental Pool Lounge

The NoVa of 2015 can sometimes get a bad rap (or a funny one). But this week — as we celebrated this nation’s 239th independence day — we flashed back to the wilds of Rosslyn during that monumental year of 1776. And just like the signers of the Declaration of Independence, we topped it all off with a lot of booze.

And we welcomed back Just Caroline for part two of her very special occasion. She is an early childhood educator who makes her class watch YouTube videos when she’s hungover and went through a slut phase in college. There was the two-part, two-year long act of losing her virginity. The time she blacked out, went to the diner for drunk food and then to the hospital for stitches. And who could forgot shitting her pants while drinking and watching Old School during a hurricane, which ended with her friends throwing her in the shower. For these reasons and some more, please welcome Head Shart.

America, Fuck Yeah!,

Mambo # Hives

EWH3# 789: The Safety Third Autumnal Equinox Trail! 6:45 PM Thursday, September 19, 2013 – Rosslyn Metro (Blue/Orange Line)

This week, your hares lead you in celebrating the upcoming solar event when the amount of daylight and the amount of darkness are equal.  Since we will start having more darkness in our daily lives than light, lets get back to being obnoxious and visible (like we need any help there!).  So check your ninja suits at the door and break out the neon, reflecting gear, and anything else that can be seen at night from a few blocks away.  As always, you may want to bring your promiscuity and prophylactics.
When: 6:45 PM Thursday September 19th, 2013.
Where: Rosslyn Metro (Blue/Orange Line). Follow marks to the start!
Hares: Whore Crimes, PutItOut, Big Bang, Carmen Sandiegho, Infidellatio, Pee It Forward, Just Lauren
Miscellaneous Crap: Live A to A trail.   Runner’s trail is tough dog friendly; walker’s trail is stroller and dog friendly.  Bring a change of shoes since runners are going to get a bit wet.  It’s getting dark, so headlamps are a good idea.  Remember to pack light, friends!
Last metro out of Rosslyn Metro:
Franconia-Springfield – 12:16 AM
Largo Town Center – 11:57 PM
New Carrollton – 11:57 PM
Vienna/Fairfax-GMU – 12:13 AM

WeatherH80L63; 30% chance of rain/scattered thunder storms, WSW 10mph wind

On On On: Continental Modern Pool Lounge
1911 North Fort Myer Drive
Arlington, VA 22209

Specials: 1/2 price Cuban sandwiches until 11:00 & their TBD late-night drink special

When: February 21, 2013

Where: Rosslyn Metro Station, parking garage above the Continental

Hares: Homo Arigato; Mr. Robuto; Turdettes Syndrome

It was a beautiful night colder than three witches tits in Virginia but we still managed to draw in SO-MANY virgins. There was Sandra, Vladimir, Shannon, Lisa, Philip, Alexander, Zeina, Stephanie, Patrick, and Iva. These people must have really been looking to get laid to come run with us on such a f*ckin’ cold night.

If there were visitors I didn’t write it down because at point in circle my hands were frozen. Come back and see us next time though.

It was a cold ass trail that led us all the way across the Key Bridge and back (like you didn’t see that coming). Like a good communist trail there were a number a shortages: a shortage of true trail arrows, a shortage of flour marks, and the pack was never together (so much for a classless hash).

After the suffering and toiling of trail we met up in an old bomb shelter for circle and beverages. The always awesome Don’t Ask Don’t Smell and You Sucked My Battle Dick were our trusty brew crew for the evening. Thank you brew crew!!!

Violations for the evening:

  • The Hares: Homo Arigato, Mr. Robuto, and Turdettes Syndrome were violated for the failure to stand in enough ration lines to get us the proper amount of flour for trail. We violated you again later because cum-on-that trail – seriously!?!
  • Colliteral Damage spent 5 minutes in heaven with a German Shepard. Peanut Butter anyone?
  • Just Laura balked at the Communist trail theme and defied Karl Marx by wearing her always tacky and lovely American Flag hat to trail – Democrazy forever!
  • Despite her hash virgin status Just Maureen stopped at her house to get the walkers a nice flask of warm rum. Wait, are you sure this is your first time? I think we should keep her!
  • Brown Eye for the Gay Guy: We know you love running (we see your facebook posts) but you don’t need to wear your Marine Corps Marathon recovery coat everywhere. Don’t be racist – you know better!
  • Whiskey Business mentioned a goal of not being drunk on Saturday morning at WIE. Seriously? This scribe has been to WIE. That was never going to happen.
  • Cutting Class was stealing all of nuts. Save some for the squirrels and for the Johnsons.
  • Tragic Carpet Ride brought a plunger to trail. Apparently this is a White House hash award. Tragic seems to be entirely too happy with that plunger (don’t tell us what you do with it – we just don’t want to know).

Then we got to a very solemn occasion – a naming. Our wonderful beer b*tch for the evening Just Alex from the Bay area in California had some stories to tell. He is a 49ers fan, into Global Studies (what the heck is that), and lost his virginity in the front seat of a car (that sounds uncomfortable). And like so many men, he had a bad run-in with some teeth in a sensitive place (there are how to guides on the interwebs people) and he saw that horse video that went around during college (you know what I’m talking about people). His special parts had a run in with a deer head while he was passed out nekkid (please tell me he is cumming to the camping trip). However Just Alex has a knack for delivering bad news to MILFs in the Congressional Cafeteria and what he said was just too good. Henceforth and forevermore throughout the world of hashing (except those guys – F them) Just Alex will be known as, Daddy’s Gonna Be Awhile.

To make up for all the shortage on trail we got a special treat…. another naming (hurrah). The handsome devil Just Sean kneeled before us to confess stories. He is a good Catholic boy with an MBA from NY. Just Sean cut right to the chase and told us about his BJ in a certain famous house in DC in a certain famous room in that house. WOW – consider us impressed! Just Sean also had a bad run in with teeth and was once caught visiting his girl’s special parts by said girlfriend’s mom (awkward)! There were some good naming options: Rice, Rice, Baby – 2 Blow, Cunnilingus Rice, Sticky Situation, and Feel-A-Buster. Henceforth and forevermore throughout the world hashing (except those guys – F them) Just Sean will be know as, Sticky Rice.


Glitty Clitty Gang Bang
EWH3 Scribe

EWH3# 752: The Hash of Theseus Trail Trash
When: 6:45 PM Thursday February 7, 2013.  Pack away at 7:15ish.
Where: Francis Scott Key Park in Georgetown, either Foggy Bottom  or Rosslyn (Both Blue/Orange Line), with a 15 min walk to Key Bridge!
Hares: 1 if By Man, 2 if by She, Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock, Choke and Gag Her, Just Josiah
On On On: Chadwick’s
3205 K Street NW
Washington, DC 20007
This amazing hash adventure began at the Georgetown end of the Francis Scott Key bridge.Plan B  was parked at the edge of the park just close enough to throw your hashing bag into the open door from the park. Our glorious GM for the evening Collitoral Damage opened up the evening introducing our Virgins MarkDaveAlex,and Jenny. There was one visitor dumb enough to let his presence be known, Menstrating Minstrel from I dont remember nor do I care.  

Transplant!!!! We have a new resident at EWH3, Pico De Gayo recently moved to the area cuming on us from the SMUTTy Crab H3 Which really isnt far, did this Hasher really move here or just run out of Harrietts to creep on down at SMUTTy?

1 if by Man, 2 if by She was our hare representative and explained the basics of how the hares planned to thoroughly F#!& over and disperse the pack into the hills of Georgetown. She then led us in a song about man who works in a button factory while the rest of the crowd demonstrated a polka dance done by a man with tourette syndrome, then the pack was off, scattering about the Georgetown neighborhood. 
After a quick stop for beverages near everyone’s favorite grave yard the pack made its way to a special secret location not far from start.  Daisychian began circle calling out the hares with Just David Copperfield handing out the violation beverages, we’ll call him Just David Copperfield because he just f*$%ing disappeared two minutes after start of circle without a trace. Thankfully the lovely, the talented and the experienced Cant find pussy in a Haystack was there to lend a hand and fill in the small hole left by the missing Copperfield. 
The jubilee had several necklaces for wankers with 17 runs. Dr. TooLittle  reached her 69th run with EWH3 and was awarded her EWH3 shorts. This crowd of perverts and degenerates love a free show, but were left chanting “One more layer, one more layer” for nearly an hour, because it seemed TooLittle was so unsure what to wear for the ocasion, that she decided to wear everything she owned. After finally peeling of a layer of chainmail and a full scuba suitToolittle  put her shorts on over her postal workers uniform.

We then moved on to some great violations. 

Roof Rack was heard stating she has been avoiding EWH3 because she typically spends thursdays grooming her 100lb snatch. Lets hope it doesnt bite.

Wax On Wax Off  Was violated for committing a party foul over the weekend. Allegedly refilling a chip bag with the contents of his stomach. 

1 if by Man, 2 if by She was violated for leaving tit checks to actually be solved by the Harrietts on trail being that she was haring  and is the only harrriet know to flash on trail.

Horoscope violated for backsliding stating that she was busy with a “hard post” but now she doesnt have one so she will be back more often. keep an eye open for this one boys. 

Just Christy was violated for having gloves that said “Bunny F@%ker” this does not hide the fact that she is into kinky “Furry” sex.

Collitoral Damage and S.&M.O.M.  were part of a dual violation when at the first beverage check  S.&M.O.M. put his hand in Collitoral Damage’s box  all the way up to his elbow and she didnt even bat an eye. Its not known if this was due to his good technique or her previous experience.

Violations were then solicited from the crowd. Some jock made an attempt to talk trash about a super ball game bet and was quickly violated for talking about Foosball at a hash.Whiskey Business was violated for not knowing what Foosball was. Twinkle Twinkle Little Cock was violated for being identified by a muggle on trail as the “rapey” guy who ran by. 

The solemn occasion of a naming then began. Just Josiah was the lucky degenerate to be stripped if his shirt and decency for the entertainment of the pack this evening.  This fine young man attended a wonderful college in Michigan where received two degrees, one in Philosophy and one in Religion. A person could ague that they are both in philosophy. Now when you acquire two useless degrees you have to work twice as hard to pay the bills. So he does this by two means, his first line of income is unemployment. And his second is writing reviews for anal toys for a conservative religious online newspaper. Apparently there is a big market for butt-plugs shaped like a crucifix. Josiah told some interesting stories while on his knees. One of which sh#ting himself while mountain biking then being introduced to a girlfriends parent. And another about loosing his V-card in Jerusalem on a holy trip, we doubt she saw god on his first trip to the mound. The name suggestions started and the pack was in rare form with a barrage of above average names for Just Josiah the scribe noted every one with little to no error in their transcription during the process, but the only name found to be worth of this worthless hasher was Fudge Report. for which he will now be know by in the world of hashing except Great Falls F#%k them!!. 
And Everyone was happy Thats all for now!
ON- Still Drunk From the Big Foosball Game -ON
Little Thunder Clap
EWH3 Scribe

EWH3 #581 – Rosslyn

HaresUnderground Railroad, Monday Sticky Monday, Duck Job, Me Likee-Lickee-Caca

Brew Crew:  Red Vag of Courage, The Udder Ho

Virgin:  Just John

Visitor:  Peg Leg (Second City H3), Cock Master (Jacksonville H3)

Analversaries:  17 runs–Axel Blows; 69 runs–Sphincter Shy, Gaystation; 100 runs–Duck Job; 169 runs–Obeastiologist, Cock-a-Doodle-Do-Me

Ononon:  The Continental

The pack circled up on the parking deck above The Continental, and off we went.  Down the stairs, up onto that fugly concrete walkway over a park and into the first of many, many checks.  We ran through swanky apartment complexes, not-so-swanky apartment complexes, ghetto apartment complexes, and up and down lots of stairs.  There were tons of checks, which I like–the pack that runs together doesn’t get lost, injured, or killed alone.  On a particularly snowy, muddy stretch, we hit the first shot check.  I don’t know what it was–which is often the case at the hash–but it got me warm.  The pack then headed into Clarendon and Courthouse, before heading back to Rosslyn for beer check, in an alley behind a rather sketchy hotel.  Stay classy, EWH3!

The second half of trail was a lot shorter than the first, but it did have the highest, steepest, slipperiest hill on trail.  Fortunately, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, oops, I mean a shot check at the top of the hill.  I don’t know what it was, but it was fruity, much like all the rest of EWH3.  It was even more slippery going down.  I do love me some sledding, but i do like it better when I have a sled.  Or a stolen McDonald’s tray.  Not long after we got down the hill, we crossed over the freeway and ended up back where we started from, on top of The Continental.


  • Six Fags got two new tattoos on his calves–each one is a foot with the word “ON” on it.  We really should’ve saved the “get a life” song for him.
  • Gaystation is going to Tijuana, so he got a mule charm to entice the donkeys.
  • 6 Pigs in a Blanket said, very loudly on the Metro, “In my mind, I’m very raceist.”  Oops.  All the non-hasher passengers who gave her dirty looks must not have heard that silent “e.”
  • Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Cock reached new heights of gayness by buying Jizzmo a Snuggie.  Sadly, none of this is a euphemism.
  • Edgar Allan Ho refused a drink before the hash because she’d just had a protein shake.  She then pointed out that the easiest way to get in is through the rear.
  • St. Pauli Girl told Cum and Knock on my Back Door how to duct tape his junk.  I hope those boys have set up a safety word. 
  • Cum Dumpling and Eat Your Vegetables were engaging in nerdiness on trail:  They were discussing physics.  Why can’t they just go have sex on trail like everyone else does?
  • When I was asking for violations, Just Tobias didn’t have any, but he did proudly proclaim, “I have sweet and salty nut!”
  • Obeastiologist complained about his wedding ring interfering with his swimming, but we all know his swimmers work really well.

Violations from the Crowd:

  • Monday, Sticky Monday was driving around picking up homeless people and taking them to shelters as an act of charity in the cold weather, except the guy he picked up wasn’t a homeless man–it was Brokeback Mama
  • Just Melody gave Six Fags his “ON-ON” tattoos.
  • Assflac complained about the trail, despite the fact that he was autohashing.
  • Sphincter Shy always comes up with violations, but they’re never funny.
  • Neither are Mannipple Lickter’s.
  • Edgar Allan Ho and Big Dig were hopping around like penguins at beer check.

It was too cold and windy for a naming, so we finished the beer, headed to the Continental, and tried to get Jumbo Slice, because due to the lack of good specials, we were all too sober to have any realistic shot at getting laid.

Love and Kisses,

Tits for Tots

EWH3 Scribe

EWH3 #559 – Thanksgiving Hash, Rosslyn

Hares:  Areola Borealis, Purple Peter Eater, Saskatchewsnatch, Please Step Away from the Whores

Virgins:  Just Frances

Visitors:  Lez Crafter (Arizona)
Analversaries:  169 runs–Big Bend Over; 200 runs–Bow Chick-a-Bow-Bow

Ononon:  None–everything was closet


The pack gathered on top of the parking deck above the Continental.  A few foolish, I mean, brave, souls actually ran trail, which was short, confusing due to there still being hash marks from two weeks ago on the ground, and redolent of Wild Turkey.  Most everyone did the smart, er, lazy, thing, and stayed on top of the parking deck, drank beer and Wild Turkey, and made fun of the runners.  After all, trail was so short that they probably only burned off the caloric equivalent of a spoonful of stuffing.  Either way, a good time was had by all.  



  • Low Pressure Front went and got a puppy that’s even smaller and poofier than Just Barnaby.


  • Saskatchewsnatch interrupted Bow Chick-a-Bow-Bow’s morning dump for no good reason.
  • Bow-Chick-a-Bow-Bow told me all about his morning dump.  TMI, dude.
  • Silver Spooge forgot that Seinfeld had been off the air for a whole decade and wore his puffy shirt to the hash.
  • Just Bobby gave Purple Peter Eater a new piercing.  If he’d wanted one of those, he’d have gone to the mall.   
  • Big Bend Over prefers it on him–you could tell by looking at his shirt.
  • Any Given Cumday told me a story about BBO’s butt hole, because apparently it was “Overshare with Tits” week.
  • Peace O’Chum ran a 50-miler.  Maybe we should rename her “Donnie the Retard.”


Violations from the Crowd:

  • Any Given Cumday said she likes to motorboat girls, but didn’t motorboat Edgar Allan Ho.  What a tease!
  • Motormouth was quiet for 30 minutes straight.
  • Queerly I’m Straight and Peter, Peter, Manhole Eater both wore shiny new drinking  vessels to the hash.
  • Low Pressure Front named his puppy after male genitalia, which makes Just Tama totally gayer than Just Barnaby.
  • Shamrock Your Cock was sober enough to know that “tama” means “ball” in Japanese.
  • Finally, we had a round for all the Thanksigving babies present:  Silver Spooge, Purple Peter Eater, Can’t Get Beaver, and 3-Ring Cervix.

Then it was time for a very regular occasion, a NAMING!

Just Jason is from Kansas City, went to a bunch of Catholic schools, and eventually majored in psychology, philosophy, and theology at university.  He now bartends at Tunnicliff’s, and is there anyone who did not see that coming?  He applied for a job at Remington’s, but was rejected.  Just Jason’s favorite sexual position is “reverse butterfly,” which involves holding one’s partner in the air and shagging him or her from behind, while he or she wraps her legs around you.  We really need a photo to do it justice, but I’m sure hash flash has that covered.  He has a tattoo of his family crest going into a Celtic cross.  Just Jason once got his nose broken during sex and bled all over the poor girl.  He has also gotten it on in a cornfield, and on a roller coaster called the “Zambezi Zinger.”  Finally, he once peed in his then-girlfriend’s dirty clothes hamper.  Hey, at least there weren’t clean clothes in there!  


Naming suggestions were:

  • Less rape, more willing
  • Bloody Fairy


  • Six Fags


The crowd went wild over Six Fags, so that’s what we’ll be calling him from now on.

Since we still had beer, we decided to have another NAMING!

Just Jolie is from Texas and went to Mary Washington University, where she majored in political science.  Apparently, there are a lot of lesbians there, because when she met Saskatchewsnatch in a dorm, the first words out of her mouth were, “Are you a lesbian?”  She is now a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch.  So that’s where all our money went!  Just Jolie has dreams about giving head and likes oral and spooning sex, but no anal.  She has a bunch of reiki tattoos.  Just Jolie has had group sex with one guy and three girls, and has kissed a lot of gay men.  She was once blowing a guy who asked her to bite down on his cock, and kept asking her to bite harder, until her teeth were almost touching.  At that point, she got skeeved out, and stopped with the biting.  That guy’s junk thanks him to this day.   


Naming suggestions (that didn’t suck) were:

  • Anything Butt
  • Thanks For Giving
  • Lorena Chomp It
  • Count Dickula


  • She Knows Dick


It was a bit of a close call, but henceforth and forevermore, throughout the world of hashing (except Great Falls–fuck them!), Just Jolie will be known as Lorena Chomp It.


Two namings done, we drank all the rest of the beer, until it was time to drag our drunk asses to Thanksgiving dinner with family or friends. 


Much love,

Tits for Tots

EWH3 Scribe

EWH3# 557: The Marine Corps Birthday Hash- Rosslyn
Sphincter Shy, Rambutt, All the Way In, She Fingered Me, Gladiator, Hair Cuntery
Virgins: Just Derrick, Allie Ross, Megan, Joe, Johnny Sheridan, Nick, Tara- apparently some thought this was a more formal event deserving of their full names…
OnOnOn: Rhodeside Grill

The rain beat down that Thursday as hashers strewn throughout the DC metro anxiously glanced out the windows at their real-people-work-spaces. “Will it break?” some thought. “Will I get my chance to run, drink, and strike out with numerous women?” (not speaking from personal experience, of course)

There was no rain as the few, the proud, the hashers gathered in the park-ish area by Key Bridge (although some did come dressed in entirely too much Gore-tex…you know who you are). The trail was, as promised, long and it required headlamps, something the pack learned early on as we were taken over to Roosevelt Island for an early shot-check. After delicious shots (I think) we headed over the bridge and into the city. Tour groups and hare-trickery were everywhere as we ran through the monuments. Reliable sources say that Forever Virgin was the only hasher to take Hair Cuntery’s Washington Monument bait. Hilarity ensued and the pack reached the beer check by Memorial Bridge.

Beer drank, run on. We crossed back into VA by means of Memorial. As we ran past Arlington cemetery towards the Iwo Jima Memorial (who’d have guessed?!) some shockingly handsome FRBs caught the hares! They were totally slow and- oh wait, no, they were helping a man who had run off the road. It turns out we weren’t the only ones drinking and moving fast that night, only we chose to drink and run, not drink and drive. Too soon? I hope he’s OK….

As the ambulance came Cock-a-Doodle-do Me and Nobody Puts Labia in a Corner grabbed the flour and helped finish the trail. After rubbernecking, the pack hit another shot-check and then ran to a parking lot in Rosslyn for circle.


  • Obeastiologist forced us to play a round of “What Was He Talking About?” Overheard conversation snippet: “Sometimes I get lucky and get it in the first time, but other times it takes a couple of jabs at it.” You be the judge.
  • Sphincter Shy was violated for the second shot check, because after having that, the pack now knows what felching Hair Cuntery tastes like.
  • I Manual Cunt of course got it because he knew exactly what felching is. Look it up, I feel dirty typing it.
  • Red Vag of Courage complained that no one wanted to play with her as she ran across the highway. Look, there are “games” we’ll play with you, but real-life Frogger isn’t one of them.
  • Double Ohhh Positive and Jedi Boob Tricks had anal in the backseat of a cab without asking anyone and without care for the smell it left in that confined area.
  • Kandy Panties and ChippenFails had a good time sword playing on trail…a real good time.
  • Put It Out wore a neon green jacket with “The Best of Times” stitched onto the left breast. Just because you’re a contemporary of Dickens doesn’t mean you have to advertise it.


From the Crowd:
Just Some-Random-Guy-Behind-the-Wheel was violated for giving Sphincter Shy and Hair Cuntery their get-laid story of the year.
Cock-a-Doodle-Do Me wasn’t getting enough attention so of course she had to hare the finish.
I Manual Cunt really wanted to see aforementioned sword fight.
ChippenFails f*cked up the circle, which wasn’t so bad since it was the only f*cking he was going to do that night.
Nobody Puts Labia in the Corner got violated for being bad at violating.
Just Brennen said she came to the hash “to meet new people,” but all we heard was “get laid.”
The hares were violated because 75% of them were not EWH3.

No naming, since Officer Tackleberry broke up the circle. Is it me or is police interference becoming extremely common?

***Insert witty phrase here***
-Cum and Knock on My Back Door